Cultivating Dungeon

Cultivating Dungeon

by RexZShadow

He was once hailed as the Sage Emperor, although not the strongest in the world, he was the most knowledgeable. People traveled great distances to seek him for help with their cultivation. One day he suddenly died in an ancient ruin and when he thought it was all over he was given a second chance. He reincarnated, not as a human but as a dungeon! Join our MC as he is thrown into a world of magic and fantasy!

P.S. This is not an OP MC story, the MC will be starting from the beginning. While he has the benefit of his previous knowledge there are large drawbacks as well. I want to clarify this as my description can lead to the assumption of an OP MC.

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Cover created by: Catastrophic_Finale
http://royalroadl.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=72311


 

Hello everyone, this is going to be my first book and I’m very excited to write it. I had many ideas I want to write about for a long time but never wrote the out. I started reading JPN LN then got into all the Chinese LN so was influence by both types. I already read a few ln about being a dungeon/dungeon master and really enjoy and one day suddenly had an idea. What if a cultivator was to become a dungeon? A lot of these dungeon ln all have someone with modern world experience become the dungeon so they all have this advantage of games but what if someone who is straight out of a xianxia novel instead? Someone who has no idea how a more medieval fantasy world works and have no idea what a dungeon even is. This give me a lot of fun things to write about and finally decide to try writing it share it with you all! I hope you all enjoy it and please leave comments/review telling me how I can improve.

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RexZShadow

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BrightLight
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Fresh, Interesting premise and an enjoyable read over all.

I am writing this after reading the 28 chapters written so far. 

I'm giving Rex 3.5 for this story because

It is well written, both grammatically and story wise.
It has implemented an interesting twist on a familiar story type pretty well, without feeling too forced.
Was interesting and enjoyable to read. I didn't really feel at any point like I had to push myself to get through sections.
I believe with a little more work, or depending how the story unfolds, I could easily find myself rating it a strong 4 or 4.5

 

**** **** ****

 

My more in-depth opinion. (probably will contain spoilers)

 

The critique I have for this story are all relatively minor things and mostly things I would consider due to my own personal preference. But I do feel that at the very least they are things to be thought about and considered, even if the result is that nothing needs to be changed.

 

The first chapter feels more like a quick summary/blurb just to get the reader into the 'main' part of the story. This could be fleshed out as well as drawn out, over 2 or 3 chapters without it feeling forced or making the pacing feel slow, depending on how it is done.

 

The premise of the story, MC reincarnating from a cultivator, could be implemented and emphasised much stronger, for better effect. Sage = Patriarch of the dungeon sect (more or less), but currently he feels like he is a bit of 'xianxia light' teenager instead of an experienced and 'sagely' cultivator.

For example - Surely the MC should be thinking of everything in cultivator terms more often, even if only at the start.

- IMO the MC would 'waste' his mana initially on growing 'cultivation resources' and when finding out he is a dungeon (immortal cave) and needs to protect himself, he would rely on things like formations and seals before summoning monsters. and then his fairy would correct his thinking/be outraged at his 'silly' decision/mistake.

- His anger at growing too slow feels a little miss placed and teenage angsty, but at the same time it is understandable so doesn't feel too out of place. I think he would be more annoyed/angry at the lack of intelligence of the monsters and how hard he is finding it to teach/train them to cultivate.

- The path of the cultivator is fraught with struggle, only those who go through life and death battles can push themselves to reach new heights. I.E. should be a little colder towards the death of the monsters, apart from the cost to him that their death brings. (If they were the elites that he trained later or his 'disciples' it would me more understandable).

- At least the first skill books sage makes should be in the form of something like jade slips.

 

There are one or two places that I think could do with maybe just one more sentence to help clarify things.

- such as the detection ability, how strong/weak is it compared to others who use it? what is it's limits? etc.

- how do they know the skill book is rank C when it is a skill from a different world/system?

- how do new dungeons usually appear? what level are they usually found at? (I say this because when sage's dungeon was found they instantly decided it was new, could it not just have been undiscovered and a small earthquake uncovered the entrance. It is a small kingdom after all, they might not have the detection abilities of the big kingdoms.)

- Why is Sage basically setting up a 'friendly', training course instead of a 'tempering', life threatening dungeon? Surely adventurers and the kingdom expect deaths and wouldn't try kill him for them. Also does absorbing corpses not = more mana here? 

 

As I mentioned before, these are all relatively minor things and I do enjoy and like the story as is. So please don't think I am being negative and bashing Rex here. I hope the story continues and I am sure that the quality of what is written will only improve.

There are a few things I mentioned in comments during my read through, but they basically follow along the same line, or are really only specific to that particular chapter.

 

Side note:

- Why are dungeon fairies always female? why does a dungeon have to have a fairy?

- Tropes can be fun sometimes and are pretty much expected, but they can be a little cringey and make you sigh. Make sure you don't go too heavy on them when you include them because they can become pretty tiresome quite quickly.

- It might be interesting to consider sage/dungeon entrance spawning near the top of a mountain, since he is a cultivator after all. It could allow for a little more character development towards the start of the story before he is discovered.

- do the 'bad guys' need to say out loud to sage why they are raiding the dungeon? It feels a little arbitrary and except for them attacking Sigurd (I think was her name), would he not be happy for the mana they would be providing him? (he is unhappy that the guild is limiting the number of entering adventurers after all)

 

Hope this helps somewhat and keep up the good work.

Yewen
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A strong start, but a weak finish.

If i had to compare this story with anything, I would compare it to Pantheon, the Artisan of War (LoL) because he starts off strong and crushes everything in his path, but he sucks in the end game when everyone outscales him.  Same with this story, it has such a good idea and has all the tools to snowball into a great story, but the author did not have the same quality of writing in the end of book one

 

WARNING this review contain spoilers.

Style

I like it, the pov changes are quite good and do not interrupt the flow of the story.  Though sentence structure could be changed though, it's hard to read while trying to read every bit of it. I would love it if you spaced out your lines because it would be easier to read.

Story

What started out with a cast with likable characters (Sage and Alice) quickly turns into your average b movie for a dungeon story. There were a lot of discisions that didn't make any sense alluding to characterization. I liked the idea, but it didnt pan out in the end.

Grammar

I would search for another editor if I were you. The grammar is a joke. It is easily one of the worst points of the story. How is the reader suppose to be immersed in your story if he/she gets interrupted every five seconds by a mispelled word, or using the wrong verb tense, or just making a sentence without a defined subject and predicate. If I were you, I would reread what I just wrote and get another person to edit it for me.

Characters.

I hate them. Every single one of them. Sage and Alice are really the only worth while characters. They are the only characters that feel like actual people instead a block of text. I get a Doc amd his dungeon fairy* vibe from them. The other characters I could care less about. They all fall into common anime tropes and they don' t have a good reason for what they are doing. I dislike the villains the most. They are simply evil for the sake of being evil and there is no good reason for them to be doing that. Make me care about the demons's cause. Make the demons have an actual reason to do terrible things. The world is many shades of gray, but this story only has black and white.

I also dislike Sigrid as well, you introduced her as a powerful being, but she quickly turned into a damsel in distress. The hype was there, and it's lost. Her shining knight in armour, John also has the protagonist syndrome of always being stupid and uncompromising unless faced with no other choice. This kind of character tires me out.

 

 

I hoped this review helped you. This review is from august 19th, 2016 that includes all of volume one

Good luck writing and I will be changing the review once volume two ends.

 

Darquesse
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

An interesing hybrid of several popular novel concepts

Many stories have rencarnation, many have cultivation, this is a rare and interesting hybrid of the two. The only fault that i can find with the story is the occasional grammar error or misused word

Mezo
Overall

It seems interesting

I hope the author keeps this going as it seems interesting so far and I would like to see where it goes .  As of now (chapter 6) it's been good and worth the time to read

kofu
Overall

Original Story and so far catchy

NEW REVIEW 01/06/2019: Dropped 2 years ago, changed the stars to 1 star. No updates and not a word from the author. 

OLD REVIEW: I really like this original stories. I hope he can update daily or something like that so more people read it. For example, my brother only reads novels that have  50+ chapters. Not less.

But I'm more open minded. 

Keep it up !



Lomyril
Overall

Now at Chapter 6 and I like it

The story has an interesting angle.

 

I've read stories before about people reincarnating into dungeon cores.  This is the first time I've read a story about someone who tries to cultivate as a dungeon core.  What is more, he is also trying to get his dungeon monsters to cultivate!

 

With only six chapters written as of this review, I believe this story has a lot of potential.  It is true that the writing is a bit rough in spots.  With time, the quality of the writing will improve.  I look forward to reading more.  =)

Necrotechian
Overall

27 chapters in... and looking good so far... with some minor misstakes...

main character is the pinnacle of cultivation tips and knowlage about martial arts and is reincarnated as a dungeon core... ofc he will train his dungeon monsters... not really that orignal idea with reincarnating, cultivation, fantasy and so on but then again its a kinda unique combination of em and has some easily predictable things in some sections but still ofc theres more stuff you wont predict that you do so its a great read...

there are several ways the author has impared the "sage" from abusing his powers like hell (some of wich are really good excuses to limit the MC from being Too OP) but although the synopsis states that the story is not a "OP MC story" but the MC is still quite OP in several ways but like in every good novel theres always a greater force at play against the MC.

 

its indeed a interesting read and i personaly will be reading this series as long as it keeps going without droping in quality ....

that being said there are still some minor details that have forced me to lower the overall score from 5 stars to 4.5.

this work has some minor typos here and there....

minor details missing like for example: a sertain chapter explains adventure ranks G,F,D,C,B,A and S details a bit and E rank is skipped in the explanation

small formating issues for example: the Point of view changes feel like they get lost in the chapters other text with them being same sized text as everything else just with *-marks (*at the nearby forest*)

and some other minor details that dont really affect the overall scoring  from me that i would lower this more than the half a star

The Lost
Overall

I just keep thinking of it

So i just finished reading ch 22 and boy i love this story i have not stopped thinking of it for the last few hours trying to think how it will go and i prey to the author please dont abandon this story

Regis Nexus Nex
Overall

WHYYYY? HIATUSS??? Is one of the best Dungeon Histories...

The autor is death????

Rowing Saylor
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A good concept can't carry a bad plot.

Reviewed at: Chapter 23 - The Assigned Party

The Dungeon seems great, I love what the author is setting up for incorporating wuxia into the dungeon's growth. Mixing magic and cultivation is a fun thing to see. Incorporating cultivation to strengthen creautres is fun and the author shows some of the logic in how creatures can or cann't grow. That said though the world is great, the plot is lousy. The plot is driven by cheap cliches and amazing coincidences. I may try muscling through more of the plot to see if the story improves.