I edited the previous chapters on this site ! https://kakemonoko.wordpress.com/
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Great story, great idea, all great except grammar, and comma, please please please use comma, the whole sentence change meaning just because you placed comma in the wrong place, but when there's a chapter with no single comma, then that's a disaster
I've seen too many stories on RRL that would be great with proper editing. Sadly this is another one.
i d give it a 4 stars if it had some proper punctuation. . . it gets really confusing
Get a proofreader or editor or whatever. Story as is, is unreadable. I would rate this higher, but annoyance i get when i have 100 words in one sentence without punctuation and somewhat bad grammar, and then having to spend extra time to decipher the meaning of the paragraph is too damn high (and i usually read GT). Use shorter sentences and in longer ones use comma. Also change color of the font in first 2 chapters...
I haven't read far into the story (only 14 chapters), but the story seems like it has potential.
Characters aren't developed this far into the story, so i won't be judging them.
I read to enjoy, and reading this isn't enjoyable. If author gets PR who will fix his mistakes i would be willing to change the rating, but for now i am dropping it.
The grammar is so poor... Wew!
Great story, but grammar needs sooo much work. You need to heavily edit your chapters. You need to work on your punctuation, capital letters and you sentence structure needs some work as well (not all of them ofcourse). Most of the longer paragraphs and dialogues have little to know punctuation, not even commas. Names are commonly left without capital letters and some sentences needs to have the way they're written re worked. There some some misspelt words as well (can't remember them all that well). Basically, I love everything in this book but the grammar.
I just finished reading the first chapter and while I see potential for both intriguing characters and creative writing style, all this potential is buried under poor grammar with a near total absence of commas or periods .
The sad part is that apparently this author is aware of this weakness and has made little effort to fix it. Such behavior - in my opinion - is disrespectful to his potential readers who are taking time out of their lives to (try to) share in what he produces. In a way it is also disrespectful to himself as an author - if you are a good cook and making dinner for guests, would you slack off and do a half assed job? Especially if it only would take a bit more work to do a good job?
the poor grammar ruins story's potential....shame
the ff is good.
the plot is interesting and really addictive. main character is slightly OP, but rather well constructed. sometimes his interaction with the world is inconsistent.
small amount of words in each of the chapters make world quite shallow.
the author should find a proofreader.