Evolution of a Ball of Light

by Vambient

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Mystery LitRPG Male Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Glowing... It's way too bright! Join Steve and his helper as they find their evolution path in a danger-filled world! Filled with mystical beings, sticky situations, and craziness of all kinds! This is the New World. Let's begin our adventure!

Book 1: Complete - https://www.royalroad.com/amazon/B07VRK3N2M

Book 2: Over halfway done

WARNING: Rated 18+ for Gore, Swearing, and Violence. P.S If you liked the read, feel free to leave a rating, comment, favorite, or follow!

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Vambient

Vambient

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Ramen
  • Overall Score

Interesting start with extremely slow pace and short chapter, but update daily.

Currently chapter 34, but MC has yet to select his race.

The author takes introduction way too far.

Better binge reading after couple of weeks, or so.

Wait until there are more than 100 chapters, maybe MC no more Raceless by then, maybe not.

Hey, based on the title… maybe MC will never be more than ball of light.

I hope not.

 

RAMEN

ThAtPaRt
  • Overall Score

really gives me a way to pass the time, hopefully you continue this for the whole summer, cause I have nothing to do LOL. keep up the good work vambient.

Danetello
  • Overall Score

Please for the love of ...

Please don't do a harem.Thank you.                                                                                                                                                                                          

BrightLight
  • Overall Score

(Based on the first 46 Chapters)

 

Over all, this is a decent story.

It definitely is in the 'light' category though. Not that that is a bad thing. The pacing was quite quick but it was consistent. However, it did take me the first two chapters to get into the flow.

I did enjoy the story for the most part and will be reading the second part/arc once a few more chapters have built up.

 

 

critique and suggestions for improvement

 

Character wise I feel that those who are meant to be side characters and not just background/filler characters, could do with a little more to flesh them out and make your care about them a more. This would also help with immersion/believability. So you are more likely to feel their actions/reactions are natural and inline with how you perceive them.

I think Steve might need a second look at. There is nothing wrong with his character, but there were times that I thought he was a little passive or reacting purely for plot driving. He was supposed to believe that he might be a god, and finds himself to be much more powerful than any creature around him. It just seems a little strange there wasn't more of a power trip in there in some way.

 

My concern with the story is that the belief that Steve is a god was never really explained or looked into. (at least when I was reading). They just decided he was a god, the fact that the 'non-believers' accepted it when he used powerful magic made sense though and fit the flow of the story fine.

The constructive part of the point i'm making is that as a reader I had no point of reference as to why they would immediately think he was a god. Do other gods exist in the world, and in what form, how often do they just come across one in the wild etc.

 

My only other real issue is his choice in evolution, and the selection. It just felt a bit forced and the difference between what he chose (predictably) and the other options was a little too distinct.

Now I don't have a problem with OP MC's or there being an OP option. But the execution honestly felt a little weak. You could have almost put in the class/race description > "this is the OP option that will make you the most human and create many opportunities for misunderstandings (on purpose) in the future." 

 

As a bit of world building. Maybe consider explain why Steve, who is assumed to be  a god at this point, has to wait for the naming day to awaken people. A few more types of spells, and maybe how they work, would help to make it more interesting and flesh out the magic system too.

 

As my own grammar checking isn't the best, I will just say that there wasn't anything that stood out to me as being particularly bad and I didn't have to re-read any parts just to try and understand what it was supposed to say.

Observer
  • Overall Score

Why hate harem? ( there isn't even a tinge of Romance yet )

Well, whatever floats your boat.

 

Harem or not, I quite like the idea behind the story. Will the MC even evolve?

 

Evolution is quite a game changer, the premise of the story will flow into whatever form he takes. The pacing is a little bit slow IMO but still smooth.

 

As of ch. 38, there’s still no Romance. So why are people so hung up about getting a harem?

wirzgeek
  • Overall Score

This little light of mine, ...

Well, as for the people whining about the story being slow, it's really not. In an evolution story, the plot shouldn't solely be evolving, but have some other things going on. Also, some good concepts that are new. It's a fun read.

nahojjjen
  • Overall Score

A good progression story

Review as of chapter 29:

Reminds me somewhat of re:monster (most evolution stories do), but the pacing is very different. The grammar is good, the story is so far still quite interesting.

The tale seems to be  still somewhat in the beginning, so there is not much deep character-backstory, but some characters are getting fleshed out. I hope to see more interesting characters getting introduced in the future.

Small spoiler zone:

The story might take a drastic turn depending on what will evolution mc picks, but so far he seems quite powerful, although it's pretty entertaining so far. The world is currently only shallowly described, with major races and countries laid out, but I like that, since major political factions has not been relevant to the story so far, and it's still open for some change.

 

So far there is no harem, and hopefully it will stay that way.

SkeithKing
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
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  • Character Score

I love this story, the only think I can even complain about it is the few grammar mistakes but they are to minor to even matter at all.

 

The style of writing with the flow of the story works rather well with this character, I really love how the Characters interact with each other, I mean no one want to piss off a god(like) being (to them) and get smited  and this people act just like that.

 

Keep up the good work.

xion03
  • Overall Score
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  • Character Score

To be honest, the rating I gave this novel  is a little inflated, because of the quality of other novels I've recently  read on royal road. In comparison to them, this one is a masterpiece!

Review is up to the current  chapter, 34. 

The novel is  written in first person and the style is very fluid. I pretty much marathoned it and never felt my immersion break apart. Everything felt fitting 

The grammer is overall really good. There are some nitpick that occasionally pop up ( several alots for example)  but they're not detracting at all. And they're really rare - or at least I didn't notice them frequently. 

The characters are pretty nice. The protagonist and his sidekick are pretty interesting and I'm honestly looking forward to his first evolution. The introduced children are pretty interesting as well, though they could be written with a little more depth. Hopefully they'll join the protagonist on his journey later, as they have a lot of potential. 

CrossXero
  • Overall Score

Enjoying it so far but just a little slow

Its a good read where story slowly progresses as the MC gets fleshed out and hopefully OP.