Lament of the Fallen

there is only one obvious fault I can find with story, though, it is the worst kind of fault any story can have.. It releases slower than I can read it.

orher than that, well written, decently long chapters, fine characters and.... Just read m'kay.

Grammar: No problems with his stories at all, perfectly readable, Can't find anything for me to mind, I don't grammar nazi, only to barely readable

Style: His style is nice.... who the heck am I kidding, awesome

Character & Story:

a story with a very dark childhood, but has its happy-go moments.

I have to say that the "description" does'nt justify this story at all, it's just to basic without revealing anything but the start, If you havn't read this I do recomend it more than highly, especially if you read her/his/it's earlier work then its a must

The story itself has a very dark childhood, I can reveal that, the MC is quite dark sometimes otherwise its quite good story, the MC is OP but in fact the MC isn't really OP, more in terms of OP in terms of her peers compared to others

(meaning same level, for example she has twice the strength of her level, while having less strength the level above her, that's just a plain example)

I must admit I did read few chapters when it was released and then forgot the story, but that was probably due to release times or other stories took my while, or something else was in the factor.

But currently? at the chapter 42, I am so hooked.... read it from ch.1 to ch.42 in one go and it was disapointing to meet the greyed out next button that is.... I got depressed due to no more reading and had to check the reviews so I could write one of there weren't that many reviews....

This story requires A LOT of love, people.... GIVE IT LOVE!

it's veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery good! even if its not like the previous story but this story is veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery addicting when you get past the first chapters. (can't remember which ones)

also note, this is a indepth review by me which hardly gives full 5 stars.... =) I do give 5 stars for quick reviews and just scoring if It doesn't have enough love but not for indepth stories. hardly such stories

It is a really good story on par with the last work from the author. It is a good balance of sweet, interesting with a pinch of sour sometimes to give the MC a purpose. The created world is well made (slighly confusing at the start but it gets explained later) But i feel like the author has a bone to pick with angels/celestials ;-)

The MC is well fleshed out and has a good depth of personality. The side characters are well developed. The only thing is the antagonist part, which is lacking a bit. But as it might be very early in the story for it yet, i think it will come (review as of c.16)

Always looking forward to reading new chapters. I just wish they where released faster, but the current release rate is at a good pace.

This is also the only reason it isnt on the top 5 weekly. The quality is there, the story is there, but with only 2-3 chapters a week it is hard to get it on top 5. (It is by far superior to atleast 3 of the current ones)

So far looks brilliant, and I really should finish reading your last story as well.

Okay, so some people might be wondering why I would rate such a great story only a 3.5. But hear me out first and you too will understand.

WORLD

The world that the author is writing is great. Its one of the few reasons I still keep reading this novel. Sure its got your typical fantasy jargon, etc. but the author knows how to make a decent world with very little hypocricies or missed details written in. The world is large, and has a lot of races, environments, motivations, and power structures to it while still being kept relatively simple (aka with ranks, immortality, etc). It could do with a little spicing up in certain locations, but the MC isn't in those places for long so the written detail would go to waste.

STORY

Speaking of the MC, the main gripe I have with this novel comes into play. The author is caught in worldbuildism and explanationism, something that I too suffer from. Its why I usually forget my novels; because I get a great idea, start a Chapter 0, and write up a huge world. But I completely and utterly forget about my /characters/ and how they'd fit in the worlds I create, and end up getting either bored or frusterated and moving on. The author of this novel has something similar going on. He is very good at EXPLAINING everything, but thats the issue; he tells, and doesn't show very often. So most of the novel is simply him explaining his characters and the world, and not how they actually fare or grow up in their environment.

We don't feel the emotions of what happens to Dee, or get invested when sometihng happens to her or other characters because we don't get time to or shown how; it merely "happens" as the author explains it through third person or another character and then we are told the aftermath. Its hard to explain in words, but those who know what im talking about can see this happening numerous times throughout the novel.

This brings me to the timeskips. Timeskips are great, but I feel like the author is doing them because they cannot write a proper childhood or training period. Which is understandable; I myself suck a lotta butt at them; the main issue, however, is the same as the above. We don't get to understand truly why they are training and the feelings they are going through; its just one or two chapters of characters talking about the training as if they are a narrator and us then moving on to a more powered up MC. It reminds me much like the bad Xianxia and Wuxia novels I read; the MC gets talked about needing to power up, they go closed door for 10000000 years, then come back as a beast till they have to do it again against a more powerful enemy.

These major gripes is what is holding this story back from greatness, in my mind. Less telling, and more showing is required to get us much more invested into the character. This telling is even within emotional scenes like (SPOILER) when Dee and the Sidhe woman Noyla start developing feelings. I felt like (FINALLY) the author was going to slowly integrate them, but then HUGE walls of text appear about "how dee is feeling, how it usually is, how it is now", it was like reading a weather report. We don't need that much detail told to us; we can slowly infer it from their actions. But all of that suspense is removed when everything about the characters is explained in a few paragraphs constantly.

CONCLUSION

A lot more showing, a lot less telling (which is done sometimes in the latter parts of the story, though this review is up to Chapter 99, so I can't be completely sure).

Keep up the great work read your previous work as well, loved/ loving both!

I thought the tone "Explain!" is tied to only one character, but my oh my, everybody using that rude single word style to keep explanation going.

To potential new readers, this novel try to expose setting through conversation, which is good. But author doesn't seems to put effort to make them fluid. When two people speaks, sometimes they focus on gaining as much information as readers require. For readers' sake. That means, you can remove quotation mark, remove conversation partner, and still be left with exposition without any lost of quality -- that means, conversation doesn't add much value. This lack of style, in turn, has bigger implication: characters sound the same. With most of them female, people quickly forgot who is who.

That's my pet peeve. As for other aspects, everything is fine. This novel is very readable. Although to make it great, author must try to address these problems.

Pantheon is not often talked about. I don't mean who is at the top or where we are currently placed. But about why each group try to move into higher position. As far as I can remember, the world is created by a number of uber powerful individual to provide assylum, which is evolved into your just another world to live in. It should not motivate people to compete to live among the most powerful. Because, resources are scattered and visits are allowed; you can get rich or get strong anywhere you live. That leave prestige. To be frank, prestige only appeal to certain kind of people. The world where everybody strive to gain prestige is too strange. If there's perk to live in higher strata, I honestly forgot.

The Gods are boring. So far, they're only sit around and watch their champions. They don't indulge in power play, or subterfuge, or anything really. For Gods, mischiefs is nice, but sibling quarrel is awful. That much power but they only there accepting the situation dictated by the result of their past champions.

Lastly the sex. So far, author doesn't write his main character as a sex symbol. Only an initiate in the art of carnal desire and attracted only to the same sex. Which is fine. However, whenever the main character present, every female character suddenly only enjoyed that same sex relationship. There's no attraction toward male character explained in adequate detail (if only for balance sake). This unerringly paint a picture about author's sexuality. He attracted only to female body but feel icky toward male body. It is great if he's heterosexual male, or gay female, I don't judge. But characters now become representative to author's taste. This make reading the novel feels like reading author's sexual fantasy, which frankly, is not that great.

This is nice, as i was expecting base on the other work, though sometimes i find the powers, terms or story being too spread out, cant really explain it but i think you get what i mean, but its still on going so i guess it can and will be pieced together as the story goes

This book has a very interesting beginning, and is incredibly promising story and writing wise. The plot has very some interesting places, and ideas, and a lot of the time they are very well explored. However, where this story lacks is characters. It's not that the characters aren't interesting, because a lot of them are, but they don't make you feel involved. Dee, the main character, is for the most part written in a fairly lighthearted style, shown as somewhat witty but quick to anger. However, the author randomly puts in some very "dark edgy" paragraphs that don't fit with the rest of the book. It is a speed bump in the way to the writings success. And finally, all of the main characters are so overpowered, you never have any emotional tension, because there is no way for them to have any challenge with anything. Dee is a super powerful psionicist and stealth master, everyone she is around is practically master in their field, and none of the enemies provide any sort of challenge. The only real challenge occurred once, when she's fought 4 high level enemies, almost died, but then got full deus ex machina'd out of it. And it was implied that's every time she came close to dying, this would happen again.

tl;dr

The story is an interesting concept, and the characters personalities are interesting, but there is no emotional stake in any of the characters or the fights.

I'm glad I've been with this story since ch54 or something. And I'm glad this story will not be a story that's dropped/hiatus since the ending is near. (though this does make me a little sad :'-( because I'll miss Dee) loved everything about this story. The growth of the character is really well done in comparison with some cultivation novels. i.m.o I also loved most characters. grammer mistakes don't exist as far as I can remember. So here you go 5 stars in everything because you finished the story and deserve it.