A Novel Concept - A death a day, MC will live anyway!

A Novel Concept - A death a day, MC will live anyway!

by Priam

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

When a particular universe was born, its seven primordial Concepts acquired an ego. Omniscient and omnipotent, they seek since to enrich their home. To do so, they plunder other universes, capture young civilizations and plagiarize ideas. Many monsters, gods, civilizations, and races are competing for the eighth throne.

Eons later, it is Earth's turn to be torn away from its Sun.

Humanity begins its integration by participating in a Tutorial. Priam has the luck and the misfortune to finish the Tutorial first. Luck because his reward is a form of pseudo-immortality. Misfortune, because as the champion of his civilization, he is transported to Elysium, the most dangerous world created by the Concepts. Nine out of ten champions lose their lives there on their first day. Fortunately for Priam, he has many lives.

Schedule:

3 Chapters a week; Wed-Sat-Sun

[Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

What to expect: 
Weak to (very) strong.
A protagonist who will invade worlds.
Realistic battles
Skills based on my scientific knowledge
LitRPG
A human hero, neither too nice nor cruel and clever. He can make mistakes, but not twice.
A vast world and realistic characters on which I worked a lot.

  • Overall Score
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  • Grammar Score
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Author
Priam

Priam

Dreamer

Achievements
Word Count (10)
500 Comments
3,500 Followers
250,000 Views
Royal Writathon April 2023 winner
Fledgling Reviewer (I)
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Top List #1000
2nd Anniversary
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Table of Contents
42 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: An Unexpected Journey ago
Chapter 2: Heartless and Fearless ago
Chapter 3: A New Home ago
Chapter 4: The Silk Road ago
Chapter 5: Log-a-rhythm ago
Chapter 6: Kinetic Control ago
Chapter 7: The Hunter and the Prey ago
Chapter 8: The Prey and the Hunter  ago
Chapter 9: Mens sana in corpore sano ago
Chapter 10: Everyone loves to loot ago
Chapter 11: People change, Heroes improve ago
Interlude 1: The Orphan ago
Chapter 12: The Wolf that howled at the Moon ago
Chapter 13: Lunar Encounters  ago
Chapter 14: Hakuna matata ago
Chapter 15: Man is his own predator.  ago
Chapter 16: Hot Water and Cold Mind ago
Chapter 17: Mirror, who's the fairest of them all? ago
Chapter 18: Join up, they said!  ago
Chapter 19: Glimpse of the Divine ago
Chapter 20: Sweet Revenge, Salty Fight ago
Chapter 21: The Phantom Menace ago
Chapter 22: The Rookie Spy and the Double Agent  ago
Chapter 23: I Kant choose ago
Chapter 24: The Beginning of an Answer ago
Chapter 25: In Sight but Out of Mind ago
Chapter 26: From the Light, the Shadow is born ago
Chapter 27: In the end, Death gets its due ago
Chapter 28: Clothes make the Man ago
Chapter 29: The Colosseum ago
Chapter 30: To the Moon ago
Chapter 31: Clear Target ago
Chapter 32: He who rides the Mist ago
Chapter 33: Negotiations ago
Chapter 34: As sweet as raspberry, As sour as lemon ago
Chapter 35: When a Phoenix cries, a man smiles ago
Chapter 36: Ocean’s One ago
Chapter 37: Σφίγξ ago
Chapter 38: Oedipus and the Sphinx ago
Chapter 39: Pillar of Damocles ago
Chapter 40: There's always a solution ago
Chapter 41: In the end, I win ago

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Uriel Sceptim
Overall

The very idea of one respawn per day is absolutely interesting and thrilling. The world created by the author is rich, vibrant and interesting. I like the idea of mystery around the system and the fact that not all information was just info dumped through the initial chapters. "Everything has its time" and with world-building and each chapter the story shows more and more of it's depth.

Keep up good work Priam. Well both of you 🤭

eersc
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Refined LITRPG Hitting All The High Notes

Reviewed at: Chapter 36: Ocean’s One

Style:

It's a typical LitRPG but written very well. The progression is well earned and never feels cheap or Excessively Lucky. If you like the progression of a guy getting stronger and using his brains to do it then this is for you. Also the Stats and Skills bit isn't very distracting which is a plus for me.

Story:

So far it's a system Apocalypse like setting with some interesting mysteries. Not much is explored or exposed so far so looking forward to exploring the rest of the iceberg hidden below the waters.

Grammar:

No glaring mistakes. The prose is not amazing but is perfectly above average and servicable for the target audience.

Character Score:

The good is that the side characters are written well with hidden depths and are not 2 Dimensional, even the villains have understandable circumstances. The hero also has a transition in personality that is well done.

Spoiler:

The main character actually suffers from characterization issues. The transition from good to anti-hero? Or at least a bit more pragmatic is fine.

But prior to that, him meeting Claire is very strange, he is said to be a graduate student that has dated a bunch, got into fist fights because of his girlfriends. But when he meets this girl for the first time he devolves into a puddle of stammers and insecurities. The reason given is because he has not had human contact in a bit but it just feels over the top and inconsistent with his character.

If he was a introverted guy who has had little or no relationship experience, his reactions would make sense but the description given makes him sound more experienced and world weary than he actually acts.

There may have been explanations and reasons for him acting the way he does but as a reader it wasn't convincing and didn't come off believable. That is the only knock against this very well written fiction.

 

TLDR: A very well written progression system apocalypse book that is a breeze to read and has interesting worldbuilding but has some Main Character characterization issues which did not detract from my enjoyment.

 

The side characters surprisingly hold up better because they are not expounded on as much.

 

Razzmatazz
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A Novel Concept - A death a day, MC will live anyway!, written by author Priam, is a classic take on the litRPG genre, featuring everyone's favorite features of numbers-go-up and a vibrant gamified fantasy setting.

The story follows a young man named Priam (Same name as the author), who manages to be the first one to finish the tutorial setting that the planet Earth as a whole has been plunged into. This comes with many perks and drawbacks at the same time, the most dire of which is that Priam must fight and grow in a much harder setting than just a changed Earth than those who will come after him will.

The prominent features of the story are character growth in skill and personality, as well as extremely detailed abilities, and perks.

It has a consistent and very generous update schedule and delivers exactly what is promised in the blurb.

The writing and grammar are on point. Any errors that have been pointed out in the comments the author has been graceful to accept and fix.

All in all, I have enjoyed what I have read so far, and intend to keep reading more.

If you're interested in a fun and fancy litRPG, give this one a fair shot! =)

 

Architect of Ash
Overall

Reviewed at chapter 10.

Firstly, I loved the setting and world building. They are incredibly unique, and the scale alluded to in the character origins (however brief) only adds to it. The system appears to have a lot of thought behind it, though sometimes there is a slight disconnect between the prose (I spent a couple chapters wondering what +POT meant and why it was being ignored).

That brings me to my first concern. As another reivewer mentioned, the lack of information bothers me. While this only adds to the mysteries behind the system, keeping the reader intrigued, the same cannot be said about the protagonist, Priam.

To me, ten chapters in, he is a blank slate. I personally believe that a reader does not have to identify with a protagonist, but has to at least be able to understand some of his motivations. Here, there is too much left unsaid. Or, more accurately, there is nothing said yet. Funnily, every other character is interesting.

 

 

So I think developing an (partially) identifiable personality is crucial. More than a hundered pages in, while there is some room for growth with regards to the characterization of the protagonist, I believe this is an excellent first novel, and would definitely reccomend it.

98thPhantom
Overall

     Frankly put, the story has a great start and is based around a solid mechanic. While some spots have been a little rough, the author is clearly working to smooth them out. That gets me to my main point.
     To be honest, the main reason I'm writing this is to tell you what to expect from the author, not the series. Despite their own admittance of flaws and admission that English isn't their first language, they clearly care about their writing and how it is received. So far they have been persistent in genuinely asking for advice, and that means something to me. They take criticism whiteout getting bitter, which is always a relief, and in general they just seem to really care.

noct
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This work is an excellent progression fantasy. It hits all the important beats, with exciting action, an interesting premise, and great characters. And of course an all-important System! The main character is easy to sympathize with, and quickly becomes powerful without getting there too fast or too slow. It's fun to watch his adventures through the vast and vivacious landscapes our author paints for us. 

The style is very easy to read, with well-separated stat blocks and clear, simple paragraphs. I prefer simplicity to complexity, and this one delivers a simple, easy to read style without being repetetive or overly simple! 

When it comes to story, we've got an intriguing premise here, that's just starting to bloom. The tutorial was intriguing, and now that he's out in the world, I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes. There's all kinds of world building going on, both on a macro and micro scale. It really feels like a vast world is unfolding before our eyes. 

Grammar is acceptable. Not much to say. 

Characters are interesting and believable. Not every character interacts with Priam immediately, but it's fun seeing all the other perspectives and characters. It makes the world feel very deep to cut to a different pair of characters' fight and another character's perspective, though of course with implications to how this will eventually effect Priam. Overall, the diversity of personalities and perspectives helps to push this novel to the five-star level. 

Five stars all around. Highly recommend! If you're looking for a fun survival fantasy with deep world building, you've found it here!

incblob
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Great Idea, dialog needs a lot of work

Reviewed at: Chapter 16: Hot Water and Cold Mind

General Pros:

The story and system are very interesting, with great potential for further growth and development. Seeds for a wider universe are planted early on, letting the story expand as needed. 

The research seems to be on point, with most decisions by the MC being based on science and knowledge (he perhaps has a bit too wide a knowledge base, but it's not distracting)

Desriptions of battles are good, and the general plot and progression is handled well. 

General Cons:

The dialog, both internal and external. 
I'll try to be as helpful as possible and point out ways to improve.
(The author is not a native english speaker, as I understand it, and so some leniency is allowed. However they have a pretty advanced vocabulary, so I'm lead to think that it's less of a language issue than one of writing style)

Basically, the protagonist doesn't sound like he should. 
We are told he's a young man in his twenties, roughly in the modern age, and yet he says things like 
"You have attacked me in your folly." and 
"If my foot had gotten caught in the roots, it would be the end."

No one actually speaks like this. This extends to his internal dialog as well, and makes him sound like a absolute maniac. 

Imagine if you walked into a room, and there was a young guy (in his mid twenties). He looks at you and says: 
"Life is such that it tests us. A reward is ony valuable when victory is snatched from the world".
Surely you would back away slowly, lock the door, then call the police. 
That's the style of speaking for both the protagonist and everyone else. It just sounds like everyone is doing voiceover for a movie trailer.  

Also some expressions don't really work (perhaps those are translated from french?), but those don't appear too often. 

I would recommend the author speak out loud the lines, and try to make them sound more natural. This is a common writing technique. 

The narration might well be dramatic and over the top, but the dialog needs work to seem natural. 
And until the dialog and the narrations have separate styles, it becomes hard to tell when one transitions into the other. 

I don't want to rag on the author, cause I think it's a really good story for a first attempt.

Style
As I said, generally good. Dialog is the biggest problem. 
The narration is also sometimes contradicted by the internal dialoge (narration: He was completely focused on the battle, internal dialog: "Wow, this is incredible! Look at that over there!"). 
    Recommendation: Have the internal dialog change according to the situation. When people are focused on something, we don't have internal dialog. Shorten it to indicate this. Instead of "I'm going to dodge left, then strike up" have "dodge left! strike up". This indicates both the urgency of the moment, and his operating on a more instinctive level. 
    The narration doesn't need to repeat information that the dialoge has already provided. As always: "Show don't tell"
    Finally, use more coloquial expressions. Instead of "That would have been the end!", maybe "I would have been screwed." Somethin more akin to what a young man might actually think/say. 

Story
Great potential, with much room to expand later. The rapid progression of the MC might make later chapters hard to keep interesting, but that's not a problem yet. 
    Recommendation: If you don't yet, figure out what the power-curve of the MC will be at the end, according to narative/dramatic needs, and pace his progression to fit your timeline.

Grammar: Pretty good, excepting some strange expressions now and then. 

Character
Character is dialog, and that's where the writing falters. 
    Recommendation: As mentioned, make the dialog more natural-sounding. Try to put yourself in the mental state of the MC and write from that perspective. Short expressions in battle/hectic situations. Swearwords/ phonetic expressions when angry. More succinct but descriptive words when thinking through a problem. All these are of course just examples, feel free to change them to fit your idea of the MC. 

Conclusion: If you don't mind the bad dialog and over-dramatic MC, it's a well written progression fantasy litrpg with tons of potential. Sadly, I found the dialoge too distracting. 

Jair
Overall

Very interesting story, novel and intriguing!

Reviewed at: Chapter 32: He who rides the Mist

I'm not usually a rewiever, but in this case I feel the story deserve more than a follow and a favourite, so here I am.

The english si perfect, or at least good enough that to me, a non native, it feels perfect.

The story is engaging and interesting, even if the whole "skipped tutorial" end up confusing most of the time.

The protagonist is well developed (as of chapter 32).

To sum it up, very well done!

simplypancake
Overall

This story simple checks all of my box's. There's progress, the MC is gaining in power, becoming OP but started at the bottom as the weakest. The MC has clear goals and I agree with his morality. There's Action, Comedy, and clear goals, as well as a clear antagonist. Lovein' it. Of course, a little romance wouldn't hurt, but we're not there yet, I would appreciate it once our MC has the opportunity though. :)

QuintenBE
Overall

I like the setup of the story, it's s different from the usual stories that you have read 100s of times by now. The author is also actively asking the readers for input on how to improve further, to make the story even better. Personally I wouldn't mind if some of the setbacks for the MC would be a bit darker/more extreme but can't complain overall. The author is also focussing on a lot of worldbuilding at the beginning of the novel, which indicates a good future for the story!