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It's been a few months now and I find it hard to believe there's no one that could take 4th (or any position) from LNW after so long...it's a good story but time moves on, top spots aren't locked to a group of authors.
Maybe after another update it might come back up but until then..
It’s a very enjoyable ride, it’s almost not a read at all!
You’re going to get sucked up into its quick pace, and just the right formula of richness to tickle your tastebuds, and then enjoy the full meal.
I would’ve given this 5 stars if the names aren’t sounding like bad combo of Japanese kana and there’s so many anime references inside… (I mean, referring to Bleach just because the game mentions knowing True Name? It’s a well referred concept since time immemorial.)
But even those irkness is quickly forgotten, and replaced by the wittiness of the language. I’m thoroughly amused at the MC’s mocking the names of skills he’s learning.
Style can have more improvement. There is a lot of, albeit amusing, unnecessary notes inside the narratives. They can be easily added at the bottom of the page as footnote, for one.
Looking forward to the new adventure! xD
Well to put it simply. The story hops between parts I really liked and parts I really hated. By the time the war happens the things I disliked were far more frequent than the things I liked. For example I liked the war merchant, but hated how the war turned out and how the players he defeated were made to delete their characters because the random spawn points weren't random at all. The entire story is ruined for me by the game only being fair for a few people. It undermines every single one of the main character's achievements.
As I just recently signed up I am going back through the fictions I had
previously read. This is one of them. As I have not just finished it my
ratings are likely to be a touch more critical than if I had just finished.
Despite thinking I would be more critical I find myself feeling less so. I enjoyed reading this work and would like to see where it goes. Despite it's summary and the indications of unpleasantness on the horizon I have thus far found this to be a light-hearted story. Aside from long training arcs the characters come across as lacking. Despite that I think that the author is capable of doing more with them and am more than willing to give them the opportunity to do so.
This is a subjective comparative scale.
1 Star means that on top of dropping the story I also would
not under any circumstance recommend it. I don't expect to give
this out very often.
2 Stars means that while I dropped the story there are some circumstances
in which I would recommend it, but that there is a flaw in the story that
I can't personally overlook and believe that at least some others will be
unable to as well.
3 Stars means that I view the rated work as being of roughly the same as
any ln/wn that I have read. While I may still drop a story with this
rating doing so means that I personally didn't get into it, not that
I see anything wrong with that story.
4 Stars means that there is some aspect of the story that I really liked.
One of the things that will push from 3 stars to 4 stars is having an
element I haven't seen or haven't seen often.
5 Stars means that I would/will/would like to/ or have put my money where
my mouth is in support of the author. I don't expect to give this out very
I will only define 1,3,5 stars for these sections and the ratings will
correspond to terrible, passable, and good respectively. Terrible general
means I dropped or wanted to drop the story because of something in that
category. Passable means that the story was enjoyable for me but at times
I needed to actively overlook some flaws in that category. Good means that
I just read through story enjoying it. Final note: While english is my
first language I am not great at grammar so a higher rating there does not
indicate no grammatical errors.
Hey guys, can someone tell me what happen with this story ?
already 1.3 months and the author is not updating again ?
why ? in hiatus period or something else ?
Wonderful story truly amazing
Just want to show my support to the author! Thanks for this story. Kudos! And I’ll definitely look forward for more.
For style, your story progress chronologically, with hardly any flashbacks, making it easier to follow the present situation of the MC. However, this makes the changes from the past Kiro and OP Kiro not really fleshed out. I find the past Kiro interesting. He started out as curious, carefree that even with 100& pain he would still jump to his death in the nth time just for the heck of it and now we have OP Kiro who is militaristic in a way. Introducing flashbacks would make the transition obvious and more natural. But if you are not confident that you can mesh flashbacks in your style, then I advise you don’t. A lot of fanfics gets muddled if this is used without consideration to the flow of the story.
For story. It’s a great read. Even with the overused VR-themed stories flooding RR, your story still stands out. It’s hard to set a goal for VR fanfics since consequences is not that heavy in-game, so it’s nice to find a reasonable fic that would make the MC invests more on the game and makes his adventures worthwhile to follow. Also, even with him stuck in the game, you still show the outside world reflecting the in-game one which most fics ignore. It makes the characters more alive.
Grammar is not a priority, the story is, I didn't start reading just to see perfectly matched syntax! Just write, as long as it’s readable then I’ll still continue stalking LNW. But still, grammar do helped a lot in relaying what the author wants to show to his/her readers so I’ll definitely welcome any improvements.
Characters are okay. Stereotypes are used, but at least it’s not forced and there is character growth. Side characters are more interesting though. But since this is not a first-person perspective story, I find it really disappointing how the others gets the backseat whenever your focus went to the MC. Granted, he doesn’t interact much but even with his siblings, the narration would tend to flow in a first perspective basis which makes the dialogue one-sided. Shifting from other characters helped so it’s not that bad.
It’s just a review so I hoped I helped :’] Again, thanks for the story!
Now, the story is really simple, i want to clear the training ground, but i wont play the game, i spent 5 years ingame, but im goku, im god, untouchable, the only reason we love this ff is because we all love an unquestionable strong MC.
this MC is the unstopable force and unmovable object all in one.
I like it! But can you make the release a little faster. man some people like me anxious waiting for it. It deserve to be on top if it a little bit faster.
This is completely copy of legendary moonlight sculpture. Right after reading first chapter i had this feeling but after reading a few more chapters i realized everything goes from LMS.
Did i say complete copy of LMS, this is really insult to LMS series ... This story becomes so repetitive, nothing like LMS, so boring, i dropped out after reading a while.
Dont waste your time.