I sighed and made a disappointed face. In my head, of course.
I was standing in front of my school locker, mentally pitying the poor monkey who had filled it with some putrid, brown substance that I had no wish to identify. It was both amusing and disheartening to know that there were still idiots in this school who hadn’t realized that provoking me was akin to a self-condemnation.
Laughter. “What’s that in your locker shit-face? Your mom’s tampons?” More laughter.
Well, looks like I won’t need to check the video cameras after all.
I didn’t even turn around because I had already identified the voice. In fact, I had already deduced that Frank Stones was the only muscle brain with a skull thick enough to not realize how utterly stupid his juvenile prank was.
But you see, I am a very nice person, so I selflessly took it upon myself to educate this buffoon before he got himself into any real trouble.
As Frank disappeared down the hallway, my face contorted into an evil grin. In my head, of course.
Frank Stone was feeling much better today. He’d been in a foul mood all week, ever since his friends had inexplicably stopped coming to school. He called them a million times but they never picked up and when he went to their houses, their parents would tell him that they were sleeping or feeling sick or crying over their dead dog’s body.
But he wasn’t buying it. There was more to it than that, but he couldn’t figure out what. Back before all this shit started happening, they’d been stealing lunch from nerds and hitting on some girl. Business as usual for the Kewl Kids Klub.
The only other thing he remembered was one of his boys walking into a stone-faced black kid and the rest of them ganging up on the little fucker to teach him a lesson. But a teacher had seen them and broken it up before they could do anything.
Black kid musta brought em some bad luck then.
He resolved to deal with the little bastard himself. Hopefully that would get rid of the bad luck haunting his boys. If not, squashing a filthy bug should fix his mood up anyways. Besides, he’d always hated the kid, not just because of the color of his skin but also because he never said anything at all. For some reason, looking at his stoic expression always sent shivers down Frank’s spine.
He filled the kid’s locker with dog-shit and made fun of him in front of everyone in the hallway. But, although he felt a lot better afterwards, something kept nagging at the back of his head as he went to gym class. Again, he couldn’t tell what.
Once the class ended, he wiped the sweat off his forehead and headed into the showers. He was just taking off his gym shorts when he heard his phone beep. He walked over to it and smiled as he read who it was from.
Melissa: Hey Frankie, wanna come over tonight? My folks are leaving for the weekend so we can have a lot of fun ~ iykwim
He smirked and told her he’d come over to chill. He put away the phone after texting Melissa for a few more minutes.
Fucking whore. Just won’t shut up will she?
He finished showering and wore his regular clothes.
Hm? Something smells strange, was there a gas leak or something?
He walked out into the hallway and was just thinking about how to mess with that black kid again when someone called his name. He turned around instinctively.
“Joanne! Hey how are ya babe, are we still on for tomorrow night?” He flashed her his perfect smile.
She slapped him.
“J-joanne? Babe what’s wrong? Did you not like the bag I bought you or-”
She slapped him again. “Frank Stone you fucking two timing bastard! Don’t you ever show your face around me again! Fuck you, damn it.” She slapped him again.
Frank was shocked. How had she found out? Then he noticed the phone in her other hand.
That’s Melissa’s phone! How the fu-
Joanne slapped him again before storming off. He held his sore cheeks and stared down the hallway.
Whatever! Fucking whore, you think I was gonna stay with you for more than a month anyways? Bitch.
“Melissa? How are ya babe? We still on fo-” He shrieked, putting his hands over his face. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I heard everything. Fuck you, asshole!”
“Shit! Why the fuck did you bring pepper spray to school?”
“Because of fucking pigs like you!” She only stopped when the can ran out. Then she stomped away after flinging the empty can at the wincing blonde haired boy’s head.
Motherfucking bitch! Just you wait, I’m gonna fuck you up so bad you won’t be able to sit-
“Frank Stone, please report to the Principal’s office, immediately. Frank Stone, please report to the principal’s office, immediately.”
The principal’s office? For what? Don’t tell me that little bastard bitched about me to the principal just because of a little dog shit? Shit, I’m gonna fucking kill that bastard.
Frank wobbled his way to the principal’s office, rubbing his eyes like crazy and lashing out at anyone that wouldn’t get out of his way in time. He entered the office, not waiting for the secretary to give him permission.
“You called for me ma’am?”
“Ah yes Mr. Stone, I’m afraid we have some very serious things to discuss today but first, do you want to go freshen up a little? You look awful.” She lowered her spectacles as she analyzed the boy’s face. A slight frown crept up her face.
“Nah, it’s alright Ms. Garfield. Just got something in my eye, is all.” He rubbed his eyes again.
“Very well then, I’ve called you here because we have received some very disturbing images from an anonymous source. Here, take a look.”
She pressed a button on her desk and images popped out of it.
“This is… No Ms. Garfield, ma’am, I’ve never- I mean I wouldn’t even think- These are definitely fake!” Frank stuttered, cold sweat pouring down his back.
“Well, I’m afraid we also found a large stash of drugs in a secret compartment in your locker, and with these pictures showing you smoking hashish and inhaling cocaine as well as obviously selling them to others, we have no choice but to detain you until the police arrive.”
“B-but Ms.Garfield, I don’t do drugs! There’s been a mistake, I-I-”
“Mr.Stone, please stop lying to me. Your eyes betray the truth as does the stifling stench of drugs that surrounds you. Please wait quietly outside my office until the investigators arrive. Good day.”
I chuckled inside my head. Dealing with that muscle brained buffoon had been far too easy.
I sat on the school’s roof, playing my favorite video game, all alone. Not that I was lonely. I’d never attempted to make any friends in the first place. In fact, I barely talked to anyone at all. After all, other people were so insufferably stupid that conversing with them would not only be an insult to my intellect, but also an undoubtedly torturous experience for my superior mind.
But then again, it did mean that I had no one to talk to. Life wasn’t challenging at all, ‘school’ was nothing more than a distraction and tormenting monkeys like Frank had long since lost its appeal.
I was bored.
Well, at least I have this, I thought, as I played my favorite RPG. It was a rare gem in an age where the only games you could find were mindless endless runners and shoot em up games.
It’s too bad the guy who made these killed himself a few days ago. I always loved his work, but I guess these imbeciles were too much for him too.
I didn’t know much about the guy. I knew he’d burned himself to death after the game companies rejected his latest game. He’d already tried self-publishing it, but nobody bought it.
Although I regretted not being able to play his last game, I didn’t feel sorry for him at all. In fact, I envied him. He had a purpose in life, a goal even. Something to drive him and motivate him. Even if he failed to achieve it in the end, I envied him for having something to fight for in the first place.
Unlike him, since I had no idea what I wanted to do, I was always just drifting in my thoughts or immersing myself in video games and web fiction.
I heard someone open the door to the roof and absentmindedly turned to see who it was.
Frank Stone had a gun in his hand. There was a loud bang and everything went dark.
I was drifting in space. I wasn’t sure if I was awake or if I was having a very surreal dream, but whatever it was, it made me nauseous.
“Oi, wake up!” shouted an annoying voice.
“Annoying? That’s it, I’m not being gentle anymore. Wake up!” screamed the voice.
Urgh! This voice is so annoying! Why won’t it shut up? What sort of fucked up dream is this?
“Call me annoying one more time and I’ll-”
Oh? You can hear my thoughts? Fascinating. At least it’s an interesting dream.
“Shut up about the dream, will you? You’re not asleep.”
Oh? Well then, tell me annoying voice, if this isn’t a dream then what is it?
“Again, with the annoy- Look here! I already hate explaining this shit so shut up and listen. You were about to die whe-”
Die? What do yo- Oh, now I remember. Frank, the gun, the rooftop. I see. So, this is the afterlife, is it? It’s more annoying than I thought it’d be. Can I choose oblivion instead?
“Why you! Don’t interrupt me! You didn’t die, all right? Your soul was summoned here before you could die an-”
Oh? A summoning you say? And who are you supposed to be? Are you the one who summoned me?
“...No, I did not summon you. I’m just supposed to show you the ropes.”
But you didn’t answer my question. Who are you?
“I’m a goddess of course!”
“Why you! Listen, I don’t like this either all right. Just let me finish so we can both move on.”
Fine. But I have a question. Where am I?
“I don’t know where you are right now. I can’t even see you. The only reason I can speak to you right now is because our minds are connected while you’re in that place.”
Oh, so you won’t be able to talk to me after I leave. Thank god.
“Why you! If you’re done asking questions, let me-”
Ah, but you misunderstood my question. I meant, which world have I been summoned to.
“Oh right, welcome to Erath!”
Hmm? Sounds fam- I’ll think about it later.
“What was that?”
Nothing, just wondering what kind of blessings I’ll be receiving from you! A hero needs his cheats after all!
“Blessings? Hero?” The voice laughed. More like cackled, really. “Who said anything about a hero? I am the Dark Goddess Lunaris, and you are here as my champion.”
Ah, I see, so I’m the Demon Lord. Demon Lord Runir Candela, doesn’t sound so bad. And what about my cheats? You can’t expect me to survive a world of magic and monsters with the skills from my previous life, can you?
“Oh! I don’t expect you to survive at all, actually.”
“Well, unlike my overachieving sister, I don’t like putting in a lot of effort into my champions.”
So there have been other demon lords before me?
“Hundreds of them. Though the last twenty or so died in their first week.”
Wait? You’re not serious, are you? How can the Dusk Alliance win against the Holy Union without the Demon Lord? Who else could stop the hero?
“Shut up! Don’t tell me how to do my job. Oh look, it seems like we’re almost done. But I guess I’ll give you some advice because I’m bored.”
“Don’t mention it! Right, you’ll wake up somewhere in the Twilight Forest and then get viciously attacked by a bunch of bloodthirsty monsters. If you somehow manage to run away, you’ll be hunted down by the demon army-”
Hunted down by the demon army? What for? Aren’t they supposed to be my subordinates?
“Of course not, they hate the Demon Lords. They always throw them into a war that kills thousands and destroys their economy. In fact, most of the demon lords that died early were killed by the demon army! Now don’t interrupt. Let’s see, if you somehow manage to survive, you’ll probably be killed by the Holy Knights of the Union.”
Great. What about the hero?
“Well, the hero was summoned at the same time as you were but they’ll be a lot stronger than you. Your growth rate will be almost as ridiculous as theirs but you won’t have the holy sword or armor nor will you get any help from me. Of course, my sister will be trying her best to bend the rules to favor the hero but I believe in letting you grow in the face of adversity!”
Grow in the face of adversity? Don’t you mean you’re too lazy to care? Well whatever, this part was only supposed to last five minutes. See ya!
“Sure, sure, good bye!”
“Wait? Why did he know when this was supposed to end?”
I woke up in a dark forest and instantly heard a bunch of loud cries, roars and snarls around me. I stood up.
I never thought I’d get to play my favorite RPG like this! Ah yes, since I’m going to be the demon lord, I’ll need a cool evil laugh won’t I?
How about, muahahaha! No, kukuku. Maybe, hehehe. No wait, I know!
I laughed maniacally as my lips broke into a menacing smile. In my head, of course.
- Nobody Knows Me
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