RE:WRITE

This review was done for a swap. After reading 33 chapters, I believe I have a good enough feel for this story to write about it. There will be some spoilers in the “Story” and “Characters” sections of the review, so consider yourself warned.

Style:

This fiction makes use of both third person and multiple first person narration. The first 6 chapters establish “I” as the character Kai, so it’s a little jarring to suddenly read “I” in relation to other characters. I assume this is done to bring the reader closer to the other POV characters, but I can’t help but feel like your style would be much stronger if you stuck to third person, or at least limited your use of “I” to only Kai.

As a multi-perspective story, there is bound to be overlap with the characters. However, it’s important to remember to avoid retreading the same ground too much. For example, chapters 15, 16, and 17 all contain the same scene. These chapters may be from different perspectives, but not enough is different between them to really justify reading the same events three times.

The author has a bad habit of using the same words over and over in close proximity. The second paragraph of the prologue uses the word “red” 6 times, for example. This is occasionally used for emphasis like in chapter 9, but I got the feeling that this was unintentional in most other cases. The description of locations is sometimes lacking, leaving me at a loss for where the characters actually are. It is also sometimes hard to tell who is speaking in later chapters.

(Sort of a side note, but I really think you should remove the “hehe” at the end of chapter 3. It ruins the mood of an otherwise emotional chapter.)

Story:

The premise is really interesting, and the author skillfully dodges a problem a lot of these kinds of stories have. Namely, when the character that is transported adjusts and accepts things too quickly. In Kai’s case, this is totally sidestepped. Kai summons himself to Erath (a video game world), and he adjusts quickly because it’s a world he created himself. I was very impressed with this as it allowed the story to move quickly early on while still keeping my suspension of disbelief in check. However, while this pitfall is dodged with Kai, the author unfortunately falls into it with Lily and Runir. (But I’ll get into that in the characters section)

From here, there’s a lot of promise. Erath isn’t static. On the contrary, the world has taken on a life of its own, with the NPCs creating their own culture, expanding cities, and waging war. I loved little details like the people of Erath thinking it’s rude to look at other people’s status without asking. The individual abilities for each of the NPCs are a stroke of genius, with everything from hilarious ones like Divine Ironing to tragic ones like Ripen that affect people their entire lives.

Kai has infinite power in this world and is able to remove people and enemies from existence as well as bring them back from the dead. Initially, he seems excited about the prospect of having all of these powers, but reality quickly sets in when he realizes what being able to do this means. However, after chapter 6, this plotline is put on hold until around chapter 18. When Kai returns, he’s undergone development offscreen that I really wanted to see. Kai created this world, but does he have the right to kill people in it? To bring them back? To be its god? These questions are still being explored later in the story, but I feel like I missed important steps on his journey. In some ways, I wonder if the author was worried that Kai wouldn’t be an interesting character long term, since he has no reason to actually fight anyone. I hope this isn’t the case. There are many interesting question left for what Kai’s power means for him. For example, what does it mean to have absolute power and choose not to use it?

The author sets a tone of tragedy pretty early on, but these sad moments sometimes come off as a little forced. More build up to each of them would probably solve this issue.

After the other POVs are introduced, the story begins to start losing focus. A hero and a demon lord are summoned from our world, and the tone is all over the place. Chapter 12 honestly felt like a run-of-the-mill OP story, which is really at odds with what was established before it. It’s not long before any potential hero/demon lord conflict is rendered meaningless. Neither Lily or Runir seem particularly interested in going back to their world, either. When I stopped after chapter 33, I felt like I didn’t know what any of the characters wanted to accomplish.

Grammar:

Overall, the grammar is quite good other than the occasional missing comma. Nothing that pulled me out of the story.

Characters:

I’ve decided to talk about each POV character individually:

Kai:

As I discussed before, there are a lot of interesting implications for the powers he gives himself, and he is mostly likable as a protagonist. Early on in the story, you have access to all of his thoughts. However, our access to his thought processes are limited later in the story, even in his own POV. I understand that you’re using him as a way to set up conflict, and therefore you want to keep some of this thoughts from us for dramatic effect, but I wasn’t really a fan of this.

Ignis:

She’s a goddess, but has issues with her anger. After losing her surrogate brother and sister, she spends around 900 years grieving. I personally don’t have any problem with this, but I was a little confused by how someone that should be so jaded became almost childishly attached to Lily. Not to mention that the beginning of her relation with Lily all happened offscreen, so we have no way of knowing what went through her mind during that time.

Runir:

Runir’s difficult to figure out. He’s established as a smug loner that doesn’t talk to anyone. He thinks very highly of himself, and it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume he thinks of himself as superior to others. He adjusts and accepts the fact that he’s in a game world almost immediately, and quickly decides that he will carry out his duties as the demon lord. All of this points to him being sociopathic with him even being willing to kill the hero, another person from his world, who he has never met. He’s thinking of this like a game, despite it being much more than that. But then he does a total 180 and starts to care about Lily out of nowhere. If this was built up over a long period of time, I might be able to get behind it. However, as it is now, it seems totally out of character and makes me unsure of what his personality is supposed to be. What is his goal?

I also don’t understand how he doesn’t know who Kai is. After all, he is a big fan of all of his games, and he even thinks about Kai before he’s sent to Erath. Kai doesn’t use a fake name, so why wouldn’t he recognize him right away? It’s not every day that you meet someone named “Kai” in a world modeled after a video game created by someone also named “Kai”.

Lily:

Like Runir, Lily accepts Erath too quickly. This acceptance might have come during her training from the Light Kingdom, but it all happens offscreen. Fortunately, she is generally likable. She’s had a rough childhood and understandably, she seems to be focused on her own well being above the well being of others when she’s first introduced. She steals, but also has a limit to the injustice she allows to go on around her.

What she lacks is any real motivations in the story. Initially, I thought that her story might be one of self realization. Early on, she fights with an ogre. When she manages to do some damage to it with a powerful attack, her first thought is to get away as quickly as possible. This is something she can do because she has no one she has to protect. I was hoping that as she started being pulled into more and more situations in which she had to think of other people besides herself, she would come to the realization of what a hero is (and I don’t mean accepting that she has been given the title of “hero” in the game). However, her development has been stalled out. I have no idea what she wants to accomplish.

Conclusion:

All in all, there are a lot of good things going for RE:WRITE, as well as some issues holding it back and keeping it from really exploring its themes. If you’re a fan of stories in which characters are transported into video game worlds, I would recommend that you give this one a chance to see if it’s for you!

(Review as of chapter 28)

Style: The author is very good at expressing himself and only rarely makes awkward phrases, causing the story to flow well. It expresses most situations fittingly and the wide range of vocabulary doesn't leave anything to complain about.

The many PoVs tend to leave questions open, but they are mostly asnwered in the next few chapters after that. Aside from that, I think that the story would be worse without it since they complement each other quite well.

Story: As of chapter 28, the story can be considered to have only started. The author's love for leaving hints so subtle that no one will notize tends to irk me, but all in all it looks very promising.

There are many hints that point towards a somewhat tragic story, but right now there is still quite a slice-of-lifeish feeling, which fits the incredible abilities of the MC quite well.

Grammar: The grammar is impeccable and doesn't hinder the reading experience at all. I've yet to notice any grave grammatical errors and expect none to come in the future.

Characters: The four main characters who tell the story all  have their own distincite personality that enables one to ascertain whose perspective it is even without reading the chapter title.

They are well fleshed out and their actions quite consistent, changing a little with every interaction they have with each other.

The side characters are surprisingly well made with many having their own background stories; even villains. The amount of detail the author puts into this is stunning and I look forward to the next one that is going to be introduced.

I have just read 4 chapters of the whole Novel

I must emphasize in the good job made in the Prologue, it is really catchy and interesting. The grammar is perfect and I don't know much about the style, so I cannot say that it is unique, but I can say that it is really rich in many aspects, which are: clear, direct and fluid, which many Novels at RRL and others which I have read (Including mine) sometimes lack of or simply just don't have them at all.

In the other hand, the FP narrator is really well made, although I don't know much where the story is going yet, I can say that it is immersive and I agree 100% with the quality of the games nowadays ahaha.

That's what I can say for now, I will now head to read the rest of the story! Thank you for sharing your story with all of us, I had fun while I read it.

First of all I have to disclose that this review is part of a swap. That said I’ll give as honest an opinion as I can. Note the word ‘opinion’, because a review is by nature subjective.

The story is mostly written from multiple first person point of views. I personally abhor this. It’s the main factor behind my being stingy with the style grading. This still didn’t prevent me from reading the 30 chunks published by the time of this review in one go.

As the title of this review states — the story is beautiful. It doesn’t always make sense, and there are a few language errors, and the characters curse like a fishmonger’s wife, but straight through the story a red thread of beauty runs unbroken.

We follow a couple of young people from what seems like our world some undefined twenty to forty years in the future, because the third person we follow is a man with a succesful career behind him. For different reasons they’re moved, possibly reincarnated, into a game world. All of them in youthful bodies. So far the story is pretty standard.

Enter the most overblown case of OP I’ve encountered this far. Why be stronger than anyone in the world when you can rewrite it? And from there on at least one character walks away from anything standard. As far as OP goes both the other characters would normally have fallen into the slot where you put away absurdly powerful characters, but in this story they’re pretty much treated like unruly kids.

Maybe because there is this fourth character who is part of the game. You know, your average goddess, with your average divine powers. She’s obviously no match for mister rewrite, but being a goddess she still runs circles around the other two superpowered characters.

As far as storytelling goes this is primarily a story about a journey. One physical and one of the soul, or in this case souls. The characters grow, all of them, including the main powerhouse.

On any other site I would have graded the grammar as 4.5 but I’ve read too many atrocities on RRL with a reviewed grade five grammar showing that the reviewer only took a cursory glance at the literature used during English lessons. Hence I give it a five here.

I can’t but give a five for the story. Not because the story as such is so fantastic, but because the story about the people in it is absolutely marvelous.

The characters suffer from being given flesh and blood in first person. With a third person approach using the very same words as the story does now I would probably have given a five point character score.

The style is where I dump my lowest score. Hadn’t it been written this well I’d dragged it down to a two or two point five score. I just dislike multiple first person narratives that much. Now it’s so well written that I push it to three point five. Still, if you need to name a chunk in order for me to understand who the POV belongs to, then there is a problem.

So overall a four point five. Apart from you know what, it was a pleasure to read.

Like most fantasy stories it suffers from The Capital Letter Disease, but I’m used to it by now.

By the way, did I mention that I really, really, really dislike multiple first person narratives?

My first review on RRL. Will add more later when I feel less sleepy.

My style of Reviewing is mostly aiming at the readers, attracting the readers who like this novel while discouraging others from giving it half-a-star.

Style: Although I don't feel anything notable, you can say it's a good thing. I tend to avoid novels whose author plainly write down their work without planning; so this novel is amongst those which were well & thoughtfully planned.

Story: As I put in the Title and repeating the synopsis, OP isn't as nice as you think. Although the MC is ridiculously Overpowered, if you are looking for RRL's average OP MC novel, this is actually Not-For-You.

About the Plot itself, I hasn't see how it would go yet. It's too early to say, and the current chapter is miles (or kilometers) behind the Prologue, so I suggest you shouldn't read the prologue.

Grammar: As a non native English speaker, I dare not say anything about the Grammar. But I can tell you, while reading this novel, I haven't had to read a single sentence twice to understand it.

Character: MC is, as I call it, a Reality Warper, at least in that World. You might think it's awesome to get whatever you wanted, but this novel address the sadistic truth about it.

MC's team is a nice mix of characters with different personalities, background, problems, etc... and the most obvious: they have their own Goals. They aren't bland cannon fodders for the MC's awesomeness but a group of actual living beings.

Overall Score: It's an unique story (as far as I read), and I think this is where I should put the encouragement.

This story is not typical young boy trained in the arts of combat/magic goes on for revenge/quest to save the kingdom. This story is about a young man escaping a grim future, and exploring a new world. A theme that is admittedly used quite often, but with a new take. The MC practically has the power of God in this realm. A person may draw conclusions from that statement and think they know how this story is going to go down.  A simple look at the authors synopsis "Or would you realize that absolute power is pretty depressing", gives way for a different kind of story. A story where characters are given time to develop, with an interesting blend of action, plots, and honest to god thought on the readers part.

Now I really like this story, and easily spent 2-3 hours reading the first 19 chapters. That being said, there are a few peeves I have with the story. The intro is a little hard to get into, and I wager most casual readers would drop the series at chapter 2. It's simply confusing. Second, the MC is kinda unlikable in the 1st 5 chapters, if you're a predictor like I am and are fairly good at reading the flow and the pattern a story is going in, you may grow worried in the 1st 5 chapters thinking it's the same song and dance you've heard a million times. Then author brings it back and the story gets REALLY interesting. So to you casual readers out there, the 1st five chapters aren't what they appear to be. They set some important groundwork for the rest of the story, but if you skipped the 1st 3 chapters, a God, then you'll be good. Keep up the good work REWRITE.

I like the general idea that you went with about what it means to be OP, even so i think the mc is kinda stupid for not realising immediately the potential of his power.

But the most annoying thing is chapter 0, why do you spoiler the story?! I just can recomment everybody who hates spoilers to not read chapter 0. I cant be the only one who hates this kind of stroy telling methode of  jumping ~50 chapters ahead of time and than ending it whith a cliffhanger why do you do that?

It has a very interesting and strong start, interesting characters and world.

The power balancing is strange and I don't really understand the MC, Kai.

The short strories (storicepcion) is awesome, they are good enough to be published as a short story collection.

Donwside is that I don't really care about the world anymore, it's becomes unintertesting and the background fades away. The only thing that remains is the characters who do random things then go through complicated character develepment.

I like this story but the more I talk about it the more I think it's less and less good... What?

**This is for the review swapping**

SPOILER ALERT

Style 3.5  : I LOVE your writing. The descriptions, the diction, the syntax, everything was really well done, however the reason why I rated 3.5 was because of the constant POV changes. It was kind of off putting at first, however got gradually better and I found it quite interesting,, but when we have first person POV and then it switches to a side character’s POV. I found it to be quite distracting from the story, as we lose connection to the person that was talking in first person to see how a side character will react, although I did like the background stories of the side characters that you added.

Story 5: The story is told through multiple characters’ POV and they are done well. Some people may find it hard distinguishing between the characters but I found it quite easy as I thought that they each had their own distinct voices. The author also does a good job keeping the reader interested, and the more the plot progresses, the more I wanted to read. The pacing is a bit slow in my opinion because of the multiple POVs but it gives the reader time to connect with each character and learn more about each character.

Grammar 4.5: Some sentences were oddly structured, or some commas were placed in weird places but overall I did not find much fault with grammar.

Character 5: My favorite part of the story were the characters themselves. I liked how each person had their own backgrounds, their own morals, and their own thinking.

Zero: The first character we are introduced to. To be honest I didn’t really like him in the beginning due to him becoming OP super fast, but the more I read, the more I came to like him. He is very well done fleshed out character as he realizes that what comes with his OPness is the problems with his morals. He struggles to figure out what he should do with his power. What I like most about this character is his internal conflicts, as it makes me relates to him and makes me think what would I do with a power like his. To be honest I would just create food to eat, but yeah.

Ignis: This one is a very interesting character as she **SPOILER ALERT (in case you didn’t see it the first time)** is not from Earth like the rest of the character, but is a goddess on Erath.  She also has her own internal struggles despite being a goddess because of the after the “Haze” she become more “human” I would say. It’s nice seeing how she develops all these feelings for the human character that she meets. She kind of like a “mother figure” you could say.

Candela: He is definitely my most favorite out of the all of them because of his sarcastic, “I don’t care what you think”, and intelligent. I like his way of thinking because he can be ruthless, but also caring. Also, out of all the character I think he has the strongest voice as his voice is very distinct and different. I also like him the most because I feel like out of all the character he is the one who actually has a “goal”.

Grayscale: My least favorite character out of the four because… I just don’t really like her. She comes off as kind of annoying, and rude at times, but I could she is the second most fleshed out character of the four (first being Kai) due to her background and the decisions she makes. I also think her sense of insecurity actually helps flesh her out as a character. I like how she tough and how she says what’s on her mind. I also like how she doesn’t take shit from other people and her quarrels with Candela are pretty funny.

Anyways, all in all, it’s a pretty good story, with not much to criticise, that I would recommend to people who are looking for something to enjoy. It has good writing, good character development, and good grammar. The style at first may be “eeh” at first but just keep reading because it does get really good, and you will see the style is there for a reason. Good job and thanks to the author for creating such a good story. :)

Just want to get this out of the way, would have done 5 across the board for grammar if only for the one spelling mistake per chapter, nothing big or anything just i keep spotting one that said.. I'm rambling and ignore this.

Now for the non rambling part. The story..

Well. I can tell you this is origanal as heck, never seen a story like this. It's a very thought provoking story. I won't spoil it or anything but the stories Within The story are really good, and the songs the writer has wrote are also pretty good.

The characters are great, all original and themselves, no carbon copy clones with each perfect grammar and the same way of speaking.

The style of the story is also briliant and i would explain more into this but i'm terrible at that.


Last part. Not a rating or anything, just for people who are looking at the story like "To read or not to read, That is the question". Whelp.. You should read. Is good. Also despite one of the characters appearing OP in a sense he is more limited then a farmer, you will get what i mean as you read.