New chance in fantasy

by Mickids

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Harem Magic Male Lead Reincarnation Strong Lead

As he died too soon, a man is sent in an other world to complete his life. By the will of the god of luck no less, he has now a new chance....in a fantasy world. Some would say it is a nightmare to be sent away from everything you know, for him...it is a dream coming true. (apologies to all of you if my English isn't perfect, it is not my natal language. Living in Belgium, I am far more fluent in french, but I'll do my best. Feel free to review, good comments are always appreciated.)

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Author
Mickids

Mickids

Achievements
3rd Anniversary
Good Commenter (II)
Word Count (VII)
Toplist #500
I Am Flying (VII)
Village Head (V)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue: Where am I ? ago
Chapter 1: this is how it ends. ago
chapter 2: First victim, unwanted victim. ago
chapter 3: the Havenbag ago
Chapter 4: The fairy in the cauldron. ago
Chapter 5: Let me help... ago
Chapter 6: equipment time. ago
Chapter 7: The imp clan. ago
Chapter 8: Gold and jewels ago
Chapter 9: Hats, scrolls and aura. ago
Chapter 10: the friends, the corpse and the butchers. ago
chapter 11: A new adventure begins. ago
chapter 12: The ring, the bridge and the spiders. ago
Chapter 13: Hello everyone... ago
Chapter 14: the rat, the panda and the meal. ago
Chapter 15: Fighting a semi-orc ago
chapter 16: the princess's lesson. ago
chapter 17: What can you offer? ago
chapter 18: The master and the panda girl ago
chapter 19: what's got eight legs, eight eyes, and have a nightmarish size? ago
chapter 20: the panda is hunting. ago
Chapter 21: little spider, dead spider. ago
chapter 22: Goodbye dungeon. ago
Chapter 23: The claws, the fork and the broom. ago
chapter 24: At Arold's house. ago
Chapter 25: The unwelcome visitors ago
Chapter 26: choice for an enemy, deal for a friend. ago
Chapter 27: House, rings and honey sweets. ago
little infos for my dear readers^^ ago
Chapter 28: Bocow, Bobull and butterfly. (Warning Mature) ago
Chapter 29: It's time to go ago
Chapter 30: When the dead come out of their tombs ago
Chapter 31: Just in time ago
Chapter 32: After the fights ago
Chapter 33: new spell, new quest. ago
Chapter 34: Binvo ago
Chapter 35: Saving a friend. ago
Chapter 36: Welcome home ago
Chapter 37: Treason and trial. ago
Chapter 38: It's good to see you again. ago
Chapter 39: Out of my way... ago
Chapter 40: Lin-Lin evolved ago
Chapter 41: A soldier named Paron and coloured cats. ago
Chapter 42: I remember this. ago
Chapter 43: The Flower Treasure Chest. ago
Chapter 44: The upper salon. ago
Chapter 45: Let's start recruiting. ago
Chapter 46: The day before tomorrow. ago
Chapter 47: Blood on the Central Place ago
Annoucement: I DO NOT FORGET YOU GUYS^^!!! ago
Chapter 48: Rewards and losses ago
Chapter 49: I'll make mages out of you! ago
news ago
Chapter 50: Vampires, darkness and light. ago
Reviews

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lucaswolf
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hey things are great with story so far hope you continue updating, its sucks to have to wait sometimes when you get enthralled in a story, hopefully you can send us readers more of your story and thanks for the read so far

AomineZaky
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Proofreading is Definitely Needed

 This sort of reminds me of my issue with StrongestGardener, albeit being more cliche. I read the first few chapters and I dare say this has a shitload of potential. I get the fact that English may not be your first language and I commend your efforts but yeah, it's still lacking. the story is brilliant, the style is great the characters are amazing and i really want this story to reach the TopWeekly list as it has the potential. It's really hard to do that however if it has grammar and spelling issues, which is abundant in your story so far. I'll keep this on hold as i wish to read this once it has been proofread i hope you do so soon. i really enjoyed the chapters i read, however, should it have better grammar and less spelling errors, i assure you, even more people will enjoy it.

Thank you for letting me read this and i hope you will continue writing as the story is great. 

catalinnr
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The idea is good but....there are big inconsistencies.

*uptated* i'm done , i don't even need to read to know the sequence of events or what tropes will be put in them

 35 chapters in and i feel that the only reason the author made the prologue is for convenience.What i mean is:

-Max is lvl 399,has dragon scales and "godly blood" that can make anyone evolve yet  he is in no way different than a normal human : average sense of smell, hearing,taste ,let alone night vision or amplified vision, just a slightly better vision and worst yet,he never used a spell to try and enhance them at least

-an inventory filled with anything that will be useful in the story

-the magic  is never used past some walls or fireballs ,oh and bridges.I mean really? As a fantasy fan ,you came in a fantasy world ,learn all those spells and you make no attempt to use each and every one of them at least once?and after that ,you don't try to recreate spells from the games you played or make some of your own?I get that teleportation and revive are hard concepts to recreate but come on : body strenghtening,enhancement(for vision,hearing etc),mental mapping,a large area scan,healing,golem making,pet summoning,necromancy,sealing,magic gun,magic wings,mana steal and spell break(silence) should be doable after a few tries given the acumulated experience of casting the other spells and the knowledge left by the dragon.

Multi-casting was never used even though there were so many times it was needed....the zombie extermination could barely be considered one.

This is by far the biggest plot hole and character inconsistency!

He learned healing yet he is using potions and salves?Is he a sadist?

-he learned the spells from scrolls so.... why not give some to Lin-Lin and Octavia? again i think he is a hypocritical sadist.

-there are more ,but less pressing like how Max told Octavia that her legs are only an illusion yet she lagged behind during the rescue of Binvo.

Now.... i get that they are respectful and all that (yep fantasy allright,you don't see this kind of people like.....ever) but Master every sentence is so repetitive like chief or Lord Maximilian or the girls's names or any other title or name.Try cutting some of them ,you are too formal, it makes situations like for exemple Binvo being in danger feel like they are not giving two shits if he dies or not till they arive.

The story is good but the longer you keep this plot holes ,the bigger they will get over time . For exemple : why make them rush to the capital if you'll make them drop by every possible village in the way? have them make camp for a couple of days and test magic far away from any village.

 

Will update every 10-15 chapters if changes were made.

Hanlock5
  • Overall Score

feels a little slow (at first)

My only issue with this novel is that it feels a little slow paced in the beginning, but that has allowed some character development that lacks a bit in other stories. So while it's feels a bit slow, it's as fast as it needs to be. And the story does pick up the pace a bit further in.

fraulcruz
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So Good!!!! Truly a hidden gem!

Why did I just read this now????!?!??! It's so good!!!! OP MC with a good heart and mind. What more could you ask for? I love this, and hope it'll be completed. Take us with you on your story's journey. :)

luis5224
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For his status, instead of describing it you should show it in one of those blue screens like in many RR rpg novels. New skills as well.

Osborn
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Really bad characters

This is the perfect example of a story that starts good but gets ruined really fast.

I find the mc a mixture of being a useless moron and an hipocrite. He gets incredibly powerful at the begining, which means he can do a lot of stuff really easy that others can't. But what does he do? Barely anything above the level of a simple peasant. His powers and strength are totally wasted on him.

And the reason I say he is an hipocrite is because he really is. He always doesn't miss a chance to throw around speaches about how good they need to behave, how they need to help others, forgive and all that, as if he were a damn saint. But then his actions say otherwise.

For example (very little spoilers ahead): When they are told to save this minotaur monster that just happens to be really good/kind and is moments away of getting killed (quite literally). To reach him, they first have to travel from the village they are currently in, to the cave where the monster is. At that point Max could have gone ahead by himself at his super speed and reach the monster really fast to save his life, but what does he do? He slows himself to the pace of the little girls, wasting a lot of time, all the while saying how he hopes they arrive in time and all that crap, as if he was already doing his best. Man, what if the minotaur gets killed while they take their sweet time getting there? I guess he doesn't give a damn. I find that annoying as hell, and he keeps that kind of behaviour all the time.

Another reason this story became crap is the apperance of the panda girl, as well as the spider girl. The mc literally became a moving kindergarten. Those 2 girls are KIDS. They are nothing but a bother, and all the mc does is train them, as if he became their father or something. I'm not a lolicone, nor do I find them cute. It would be much better if they disappeared from the story. And now I get the feeling that the minotaur will be as much of a bother as these 2 kids. Simply great.

Mattaj
  • Overall Score

If the novel is good, it is hard for me to describe what is so good about it and this is one of these novels. Characters are interesting as well as story.

Like I said I am not good in describing good points but I can point out problems. Only one actually that can cause problems in reading and it is grammar, mostly you mix genders like using his instead of her or something like that. Another problem with grammar is punctuation which is either overused or used in wrong places.

I suggest you pick yourself a proofreader whose native language is English.

EDIT: One more thing that does not suit my tastes is too long alternative POVs which could be written as summaries (which would make them much shorter).

EDIT 2: Problem with mixing genders has been fixed (at least it is not so obvious) and I suggest for you to add drama to the list of genres. There has been a lot of it lately (as of chapter 48).

Algoz
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Really needs to improve characters

This premisse is done to death (not only on this site, but on japanese webnovels too), but I kinda like the whole "main character so powerful doing random things", but the characters...

the Main Character feels... what is a good word for this... fake. He doesn't like unjust things (like slaves and people hurting others for no reason) but at the same time, he do good and bad things at random (some enemies he simply kills, others he just let them go, others he gives "advice" to not attack him, but doesn't even give the enemies a glimpse of how strong he is, just overwhelming them until they flee [and killing a lot of them too]).

He also keeps doing these "inspirational speeches" and keeps teaching his friends, but most of the way he acts on these moments feels way too fake, like he's acting a role.

It's hard to know what exactly the MC personality is, since he acts in a lot of different ways. One example of this, is when he accidentaly killed the dragon, he felt bad for killing such majestic creature, even trying to offer some help for the dying beast... and what does he do when he left the place, he simply butcher the corpse "so that it doesn't be a waste" instead of, I don't know, bury the guy or do some sort of ceremony to mourn his death or other stuff, even though he already has a bag filled with treasures, weapons, armor, books and etc, he simply does this.

the side characters, most of them feel fake, and part of that is because of the MC's annoying "inspirational speeches". most of them start hating/afraid/incredible wary of him, but a few of his speeches is enough to make them trust him, with some of them idolized him.

Another problem of the MC, is the fact that everything he learn with his skills, he instantly mastered them. If people reading this say something like "becaus he put max points on his skills, of course he knows everything", I reccomend trying to read Death March. In that japanese webnove, even though the MC has the "max skill", he doesn't know everything, but the skill actually helps him to learn incredible faster that specified subject.

To end this: All of these bad points that I've said, doesn't make the story bad, just incredible dull for me. every time I see the MC doing one of those "inspirational speeches", it makes me bored, because I know that after that, the side characters will be awed with his presence/personality/powers.

taz7wmg8
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this one has made it to the top of my favorite list

I absolutely love this story.  The characters have been a blast so far, The writers grammar is excellent The story plot has been keeping me interested (which is hard to do) I love these stories where the main character is over powered.  they just make me laugh.  

 

I can't wait to see where the story goes next.