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Eighteen-year-old Lily has never had anything adventurous about her life until an alien invasion comes to earth. Fortunately, Lily finds most of these water aliens are friendly and are trying to replenish their planet from the earth's bountiful ocean. In hopes to bring a peace treaty between the alien and human race, she tags along with their water aliens' leader, a Water God. Lily discovers not only tagging along with the Water God turns into something more, but soon realizes she isn't just trying to save an alien planet, but hers as well...
This is a fast-paced story and a silly story. Chapters will be released on Mondays and Thursdays..until further notice!
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I think I've seen it all. Water aliens.
There are a bit of minor issues I had with this story, but I hold it in high regards since the premise is something I've never seen before.
It jumps us right into the norm and breaks that with the arrival of these creatures. Nice turn of events to start off with and makes the readers want to learn more about the aliens. Not only that, they learn the aliens get stronger with WATER. How peculiar. I think the idea of water aliens is unique and can attract people's interest. Some clichés here and there but it did not impede my reading of the story.
It is written in present tense and first person perspective. I applaud the author for using present tense, since I seldom one written only in present. The writing here is what I would see on any other web serial: succint and to the point. Although I think the author needs to improve on showing since a lot of information and action sequences are told to the reader.
Grammar is consistent. While there are a few errors in spelling and other punctuation, it did not impede my reading in the story. I believe they can be fixed with a proofread or an autocorrecting system.
The MC and her sister show a bit of thought-out characterization. The MC's sister is overprotective, and the MC detests the fact. I enjoyed these sibling interactions, but the dialogue between them and other characters in the hospital felt a bit unrealistic.
Overall, since this story only has a few chapters out I think the author has a lot to improve on, and has a lot of potential. The story is unique which can help build readership. It seems the author is enthusiastic to improve so this story will surely be a good one.
The story starts off with aliens invading the world. The twist here is instead of aliens that die when you pour water on them, they get strong instead! Now, I will start off by saying I find the concept somewhat novel. It's certainly worth investing into. The author is eager to learn, so I won't be too harsh in my rating, as it's both limited in pages written and new.
Overall Score 4.5/5 stars. I typically do not rate anything below a four star, ever. To me, a four star is a sign of serious issues that either won't be fixed, or the author refuses to fix. Anything below a four star indicates that I believe it unworthy of existing on the site. A five is a perfect story without visible flaws. By this I mean if you discount my preferences, there will not be any blemishes worth discussing. I rate this a 4.5 stars, because I believe the author is attempting to better their story, even if it has flaws that would normally merit a 4 star.
Style score 4/5 stars. I rate the sub categories a little more harshly than the overall score. The style here is a fair bit stilted. The author uses too much tell instead of show. There isn't any distinctive style they have created yet, so I cannot comment on this section too much.
Grammar score 4/5 stars. The grammar is sometimes okayish, and other times I feel like the author needs an editor. It took me a long time to learn how to properly edit my own work. Even now I struggle with some area's like comma placement. The only way to really improve here is to ask other people for help and train yourself to recognize the signs that something is off in a particular passage.
Story Score 4.5/5 stars. The plot is decent. Killer aliens is a done and done thing. The addition of them being vampiric is interesting enough to draw readers in. You can use some cliches well, as long as you do not overreley on them.
Character Score 4/5 stars. The dialogue is not the best. A nurse won't be commenting on rabies while someone has a wound that bad. The MC shouldn't be joking while her friend is being eaten, even in their thoughts. The only thing the MC should be doing is panicking, and struggling not to wet herself while people get ripped apart around her.
I look forward to seeing where the author improves this. I suggest going back and trying to do a small rewrite while the story is still short. There is room for improvement, and it is interesting enough that I see promise in it.
I was reading these articles on Quora that said that aliens that can travel light years to reach us only came to invade. They've obviously not thought abt aliens that have gods.
I like the new spin on alien invasion theory. They could need our resources for something they can't produce.
Don't tell me u can produce water if the fire god banishes it?
Overall, story is fast paced and has a lot of potential, so 4.5
Style: The style is distinctive. Compels the reader to experience events with the MC. Can't find anything bad abt the style. Everyone has their own style after all. What matters is how well the style suits the story.
For me, the style suits the story just fine. Such a fast paced story needs a style will give the readers the best experience. And what better place to experience the story than with the MC, who experiences everything that matters in the story?
Story: I love the story. Nice spin to the alien invasion theory. The story has no regard for mood though. Chased by vampiric aliens and has the mood to joke? Or kidnapped sister and says a dirty joke? Would be better to just throw stones at the ship. Just joking. But seriously, something more reasonable, like, at least, try to pose a threat to their ship.
Grammar: This is where I have the most problem. The sentences are squashed together in the prologue. It gets better each chapter though.
Character: The character is humourous. I love her. But as I've said, pay attention to mood, it makes the character more real
I found this story to be a quick-paced and pretty humous read. The concept behind the water aliens and the way they are presented is very intriguing and I’m interested to see where they’ll go in the future. Though the side characters fade into the background a bit, the main character is charismatic and provides a unique lens to view the apocalyptic situation through. Overall, this story has a lot of potential and I can’t wait to see where the tide turns next.
Okay, I wrote the whole review and then my adhd kicked in and I clicked on a chapter. End my suffering.
Okay, so what is this story about? Water aliens. Yes, you heard it right, aliens that are made of water. In the prologue we understand that these aliens got in some kind of scuffle with a Fire God, and after a twenty years war, their water supply had run dry. I guess that makes perfect sense when a character named Fire God is anywhere near the vicinity of their planet.
For Chapter 1, I must lower my hat. That first paragraph was so interesting, intriguing, and attention-grabbing. It set the comedic tone perfectly for the rest of the novel, which is by the way, just a series of sides-oblitering-launched-into-orbit moments. It is absolutely hilarious and I loved every second of it.
One little warning. As a personal philosophy, I do not like rating other authors with less than 5 stars. There are plenty of other readers that would gladly set their ratings straight. If I didn't enjoy a story, I will simply not review it. As such, using 3000 IQ logical induction, if I'm reviewing a story, that means I like it. And since 5 stars is basically just a numerical representation of "I like this story", I'm going to use it as such and rate all categories with perfect score.
If you really want to know my more nuanced tip-my-fedora-to-you-m'lady Reddit critc's rating, then you can read on. I put a "real score" section with every category.
This is a first person POV story written in present tense. if that's something you're into, then read it; if not, then don't. And while I'm sure that 99.99999% of you have clicked off the page just from reading that sentence, the infinitesimal fraction of you that stayed can find a story with an interesting style. Ever thought, Damn, this author rambles on for too much? Well, you definitely won't be thinking that here. The writing is to the point and does not waste time on purple prose and overly descriptive scenes. It gives you immediately what you have come here for: water alien tiddies. *cough* I MEAN an interesting premise and an ever-shifting plot with twists and turns!
The only criticism I would have, and this is something that others have pointed out, is that there are scenes which would have benefited from some more showing rather than telling. But this is the style of this story and I think it fits pretty well.
Real score: 4.5/5 (cuz I like my purple prose, humph!)
The story itself is captivating and keeps the reader guessing. The plot is well-paced, with twists and turns that keep the reader engaged. The author's ability to create tension and suspense is impressive, and they do a great job of balancing action, drama, and character development.
In more concrete terms, this is the only story that I saw contemplating the morality and logistics of sexual intercourse between a water alien and a human. Though I guess adding the combination of words: "WATER ALIEN" makes any concept unique by default.
Real score: 4.3/5 (cuz I'm not usually interested in alien invasion stories. There are no numbers to entertain my monkey brain hoo hoo oh haa haa)
It's good. The prologue has some problems but it's short and you can go through it quickly. The other chapters are pretty much as good as you can expect an RR novel to be in terms of grammar. Now, if the author wants to post it on KU at any time in the future, a proper edit and a bit of proofreading would go a long way, but for now it's good enough. TLDR: You won't have many problems reading this story unless you're the particularly picky type. In which case, SHAME ON YOU!
Real score: 4.35/5 (low end just because the prologue drags it down. The other chapters are 4.6)
Now for the real meat. I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS! Since the story is in first person, we hear all the thoughts of the main character who is just absolutely hilarious. Even as the most insane stuff is happening around them, the MC still finds something funny to say or think. No situation is too serious for them not to crack a joke, which I adore. The relationship between the two sisters is also nice to read, and their interactions are interesting and funny. Plus, we get to see them grow as they witness a full-on alien invasion happening right in front of their eyes.
Real score: 5/5