Yuuto shifted his bag and hugged his grandma tight. Then he moved to the man next to her, his grandpa. “Thanks for everything.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Yuuka said, doing the same. “It’s so good to relax and eat your food, grandma.”
“When are you too visiting again?” the old man asked in his deep voice.
The siblings exchanged quick looks. “We’ll be here for the festival,” Yuuka replied. “There’s no way I’m missing it this year.”
“Last year was too good.” The man laughed. “Yamamoto was drinking to celebrate his…”
While his sister and grandfather talked about last year’s festival, Yuuto pulled his grandma aside. “Thanks again for helping me with this,” the teacher whispered, patting the bag with his free hand.
The old woman smiled and waved her hand. “I told you I like helping you. But I never thought I’d making a dress like that,” she said chuckling, her cheeks a shade of pink. “Just remember to take pictures. I love seeing you in those cute little outfits, but I must say some are a bit too provocative.”
Yuuto showed an awkward smile and let out a weird high-pitched laugh. “Come on, grandma. It’s all for the art,” he said, trying to steer away from the topic. I’ll never send her a photo again, he made a mental note. Until today, the teacher had only showed her the normal photos, the ones he thought she could handle.
Thank goodness she doesn’t know about my blog. If she saw those photos in miniskirt… or the school swimsuit… or the combos, I bet she’d go nuts, he thought. Or if she saw one of Seiji-kun’ paintings… Thinking about the artist made Yuuto glance at his bag, and blush. If grandma knew why I want this cosplay, she’d definitely freak out.
“Come on little brother.” His sister’s voice brought his mind back. “We gotta go.” Yuuka wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him.
They said goodbye to their grandparents one more time before passing the ticket gates. They rushed when they heard the sound system announcing the subway was about leave. Even if it was a busy time of the day, the wagon was rather empty, so it was easy to find seats for them.
“Lucky,” Yuuka said, taking the huge backpack from her back. She placed it on the floor, between her legs, and sat. Yuuto sat next to her, putting his bag on his lap. “We’d never find seats so good in the city at this time.”
“Yeah.” Yuuto leaned his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying the rhythmic move.
“They looked better than last year,” Yuuka said after a while in silence.
“Yes,” Yuuto agreed. “Even after twenty years, it’s still hard for them.”
“Seeing their friends’ kids reuniting must be tough. Especially Tanaka-san. She was mom’s best friend growing up.”
“I like her stories. She makes mom sounds like a crazy delinquent growing up,” the teacher said, laughing. Yuuka joined him. “Grandma told me she wanted to keep mom’s past hidden from us.”
“Speaking of grandma.” Yuuka turned her head to her brother. “You practically spend the entire golden week with her.” His sister narrowed her eyes. “What were you two sewing?”
She already knows I was sewing, Yuuto thought, grabbing the bag on his laps out of reflex.
Yuuka reached out and pulled it, opening the zipper enough to see the white and frilly piece of clothes. Her eyes widened and a smile appeared on her lips. “Is this a—”
The teacher pulled the bag back and closed the zipper as fast as he could. “It’s a cosplay!” he said a bit too loud. Some people stared at them. Yuuka had trouble breathing and covered her mouth with both hand while Yuuto blushed.
When the laugh finally stopped, she took deep breaths and turned to her brother. “I’m surprised. You always refuse help, saying you’ll do everything alone. Why the sudden change?”
Yuuto played with his fingers, avoiding her eyes. “This cosplay appeared on a manga a few weeks ago. There was no way I could finish alone this fast.”
She narrowed her eyes. “And why the hurry? There’s no event or contests around this time…” Yuuka tilted her head. A second later, her face beamed with a smile. “It’s for you boyfriend!” Even with her sudden realization, she managed to keep her voice down. “You want to dress up, pose for him and then seduce him!” she whispered excited.
He couldn’t deny her words. She got exactly right, he thought, blushing. The moment he saw the cosplay on the manga, Yuuto imagined himself wearing the frilly dress. While calculating how much it would take to sew, the idea came to him. He knew Seiji-kun would love seeing the teacher wearing it and would want to paint right away. And perhaps in the mood they could get together again, or maybe it could be enough to bring back the artist’s memory of their night.
Yuuka wrapped her arm around Yuuto and pulled him closer. “I can’t believe my little brother lost his other virginity with a man,” she said in a soft voice. “I’m so happy.” Yuuto kept quiet, his cheeks reddening even more.
When he got home after his first night with Seiji-kun, his sister immediately asked him if something had happened. Yuuto tried avoiding the talk; the last thing he needed was his sister finding out he had slept with a man. But she noticed he was walking in a funny way and knew right away. Yuuka never seemed so happy, screaming she finally had a real case of boys’ love in her life.
“I want to meet your boyfriend. I want, I mean, I need to see with my own eyes if he’s worthy to be with my little brother,” Yuuka said, hugging him and messing his hair. When she realized Yuuto wasn’t pushing her back, she let go of him and stared his face. “What’s wrong?”
Yuuto looked at the floor, his shoulders dropping. “He’s not… my boyfriend…” he said in a low voice, feeling a pang in his heart. Though the teacher had admitted to himself, he never thought saying aloud would hurt so much.
“Yuuto…” Yuuka hugged him again, this time gently. “You love him, don’t you?”
“Yes…” he whispered almost right away. He didn’t need to think.
“Little brother,” she closed her eyes and rested her head on his. “You’ll face a lot of difficulties, but remember I’m always here for you.”
“Thank you, sister,” he said, closing his eyes as well.
The rest of the ride went by in silent, but Yuuto had a little smile on his lips. Even if his sister teased and made fun of him, she was there to help him whenever he needed.
It was already night by the time they arrived. When they got out of the station, Yuuka headed to the bus stop yawning, but Yuuto stood where he was.
“You’re not heading home?” she asked. The teacher looked at his sister, then the phone on his hand. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, trying to find words. Yuuka spared him the effort, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. “Fine, fine. Go meet your boyfriend. See you later… or maybe not, depending on how things go,” she laughed and then got in the bus.
Yuuto smiled and then turned to his phone, looking for the right name. Suddenly his breathing became shallow and quick, his heart beating faster. Despite knowing Seiji-kun’ number for a long time, it was the first time the teacher would actually call his former student. Taking deeps breaths, Yuuto pressed the screen, brought the phone to his ear and waited. He never hated the dial tone so much.
After what seemed an eternity, the call went through. There was no answer though. “Seiji-kun?” his voice came out high-pitched. Only now he realized was holding his breath. He cleared his throat a few times. “It’s me,” he said in his normal voice.
It took a while for Seiji-kun to answer. “Hey. You already back?” he spoke in a dragged voice.
“Yes, and…” he tugged the bag harder and took another deep breath. “There’s something I’d like to show you. Are you free right now?” His stomach fluttered.
Again, it took a while for Seiji-kun to say something. “Yeah, sure,” Yuuto heard a yawn. “The door’s open.”
Seiji-kun ended the call before the teacher could say anything else. He shouldn’t leave the door open, Yuuto thought, but the next second he sighed, a tiny smile popping on his lips. Did he just wake up? Just because it’s a holiday, he shouldn’t sleep all day. Perhaps I should say something… Yuuto dismissed the thought with a shake of his head. Even if he should, lecturing Seiji-kun wouldn’t help the teacher at all today.
He called for a taxi and less than twenty minutes, the teacher was standing before Seiji-kun’ door, knocking out of habit. It took him a second to remember it was unlock. Chuckling, he opened the door.
All the lights were off and the closed curtains block any outside light. “Seiji-kun?” Yuuto called to the darkness. There was no answer. So he was really sleeping until now… the teacher thought, sighing. After he took off his shoes and threw them on the entrance, he turned on the lights and opened the curtains with the remote, widening his eyes at the apartment’s state.
Yuuto counted at least seven bottles on the coffee table, along with a few beer cans here and there. You’d remember our night if you didn’t drink this much, Seiji-kun, the teacher thought, rubbing his eyes. How can I help you? The thought lingered on his mind while he cleaned up the place. He put it all on the kitchen counter, but one can had some beer left. Yuuto stared at the can and then looked around. Seiji-kun was nowhere to be found. It’s to help relaxing a little, as Sawa-chan says, and drank it.
“Drinking at this time?” A hoarse voice came from behind him.
Yuuto widened his eyes and turned around, coughing. “Seiji-kun! I… I…” He threw the can on the sink. “I… have nothing to say in my defense,” he said and lowered his eyes, blushing. Damn it! Why did he had to appear just now? “Why did you have this around, huh?” He quickly changed the subject, trying to keep some of his dignity as a teacher.
“I… needed a break…” Seiji-kun said in the same hoarse voice. His breath stank of alcohol and when he rubbed his eyes, Yuuto saw they were red.
The teacher took a closer look at Seiji-kun. His former student had dark circles around his eyes, hadn’t shaved his patchy beard and the hair was tangled and unwashed. Did he spend the night drinking? Yuuto gulped. Even if it wouldn’t help the teacher’s goal, he had to say something.
Seiji-kun was faster though. “What are you gonna show me?”
Yuuto widened his eyes. That’s right! I almost forgot. He bit his lips and pulled the bag closer, looking between it and Seiji-kun. Now that I’m here, it too embarrassing. He took deep breaths, staring into the artist’s eyes. This is my way of confessing my feelings!
“I finished my latest cosplay and I was… wondering if you didn’t want… to paint me…” he trailed off, blushing and looking away. Even if he was Seiji-kun’ muse, it was the first time Yuuto himself asked to pose. I never thought it would be this embarrassing!
Seiji-kun ran a hand over his face slowly and then showed a weary smile. “Sure, anything for my muse.”
Yuuto beamed. “Then I’ll go change right now!” He raced to the bathroom.
It’s more revealing than I thought… The teacher stared at his own reflection, turning around a couple times to see it all. Even if I want to seduce him, this is too much. It’s not like I’m want to marry him, he thought, blushing the next second. I came here to confess my feelings, now I’m thinking about seducing and marrying him? Despite his thoughts, Yuuto couldn’t help but smile. He stared at his reflection again.
The cosplay indeed reminded a wedding dress, all white and with its long hem. It also revealed more leg than Yuuto imagined when he saw it on the manga. Did grandma do something? At least the bare shoulders and the ribbon on the cleavage covering his chest seemed better than he’d expected. But the opening on the skirt, dividing into two parts, was high, showing above his knee. Too high! At least it’s easier to walk on this, he thought, trying to comfort himself, pulling the white long gloves in its right place.
The hem had some frills with big yellow ribbons on both sides. Why the sock only goes this high? The white knee sock, with small yellow ribbons around his ankle, was one of the longest he ever wore, and yet it still showed his tight too much. How did she wore this? The only thing that wasn’t like the character was the lack of accessories on his hair and the choker on his neck. I guess today my cosplay can be a little imperfect. It wasn’t for sale yet anyway. And maybe Seiji-kun will like it better this way. It’s easier to kiss my neck, he thought, blushing again the next instant.
Yuuto closed his hands, trying to stop the nervous shaking, but he stopped after a few times. His fingers were still sensible. Even if I’ve been sewing for ages, I hurt myself… he thought with an awkward smile. Even monkeys can fall from trees. Luck the cosplays has gloves, otherwise Seiji-kun would see the bandages. Would he be worried? He stopped for a moment to imagine.
In his mind, Seiji-kun would hold Yuuto’s hand gently, asking if they hurt. Yuuto said just a little bit, and the artist would lick the fingers, saying it would help. Then why are you staring me? Yuuto kept quiet though, enjoying the touch of the mouth, and then suddenly Seiji-kun kissed the teacher’s hand, slowly moving up, until his lips were on Yuuto’s neck.
He stopped and then stared the teacher’s eyes, and the next moment he closed his own and their lips met. It was gentle at first, but suddenly Seiji-kun was wild, almost a different person, kissing him passionately, but he was still the man Yuuto longed for a long time. Still kissing, Seiji-kun pushed Yuuto against the wall while taking off his own clothes. When he was naked, with his manhood already hard, he ripped the teacher’s clothes, turned him around and then…
This isn’t time for daydreaming! If I want that to become real, I need to get a grip! He thought, trying to calm his mind. Yuuto had dreamed and imagined so much about that night it hunted him, the pain in his heart ever growing. Every time he remembered, he pleasured himself with those memories. But it wasn’t enough anymore. I want more. More than sex, I want him… I want us to be together…
He looked at his reflection for the third time. Hope Seiji-kun like this cosplay… I should have used a wig, he thought, fixing his hair again. Only a few cosplays could work without it. This wasn’t one of them, and yet he chose not to wear the ping wig. I want Seiji-kun to look at me, he said to himself again. I want to show him my feelings, but… is this enough to make him remember our night?
Yuuto breathed out, calming his thoughts. I came here with this in mind. Strengthening his resolve, the teacher unlocked the door with sweaty hands and got out of the bathroom. His eyes searched the room, looking for the man he desired. Seiji-kun was organizing the easel and the stool at the moment, and didn’t notice the teacher was in the same room.
Yuuto got close enough and despite the difference in their height, the teacher covered Seiji-kun’ eyes. “Guess who?” he said, a smile on his lips.
The former student removed the hands and then turned. It took a second for his vague eyes to focus on the teacher. “A cosplay I’ve never seen,” he said in a low voice, a tiny smile popping on his lips.
“That’s because I just finished. Even with help, it took the entire Golden Week to get it ready in time,” Yuuto said, barely containing his grin. He spun a few with his arms open, showing every side of the cosplay. When he stopped, he felt a bit dizzy and fell on top of Seiji-kun, who held him. The teacher blushed and looked up, smiling. “What do you think?” he asked when he stood up.
Seiji-kun eyed him from top to bottom, and then offered a hand. Yuuto took it and the former student spun him. “Your skill never ceases to amazes me,” he said, his smile growing slightly. “It’s wonderful.”
Yuuto beamed. “Thank you!” he almost screamed, his cheeks reddening. “If you say it’s wonderful, then all the work paid off.” He already expected Seiji-kun’ compliment, and yet it was enough to make him this happy. All those countless hours working on the cosplay since he saw it, all the embarrassment he felt when asking his grandma for help, all the questions she made and that he had to avoid… Yuuto forgot everything just from seeing Seiji-kun’ smile. But his true goal would begin after their session. “Then let’s start!”
He turned towards the couch at once, but before he could take a single step, Seiji-kun pulled him closer, embracing him from behind. “I’m not in the mood,” he whispered.
It took a second for Yuuto to realize what just happened. He blushed and kept quiet, waiting for the painter to say something else. The former student said nothing else. All he did was embrace the teacher tighter.
Yuuto realized why Seiji-kun hugged him like that. I told you… I won’t leave, Yuuto said in his mind, putting his hands over the artist’s. Just like I said that night, he thought, remembering his own words. It was just like after their first time, when the artist seemed almost desperate and begged Yuuto not to leave him.
For the first time, the memory of their night didn’t arouse Yuuto. Right now, he forgot about that, he forgot why he’d came here on the first place. Yuuto had even forgotten about his own feelings. I’m an idiot. I was thinking only about myself… I should’ve have realized something was wrong with Seiji-kun. He put those thoughts aside as well. All it mattered now was the teacher wanted to comfort the man embracing him.
Yuuto’s hand looked for the artist head, patting him gently. “Seiji-kun… did something happen?” His voice barely above a whisper.
The artist kept quiet and Yuuto didn’t push. The teacher only waited, letting the time pass. For now, this is the closest we can be, he thought, closing his eyes, feelings Seiji-kun’ warm, listening to Seiji-kun’ breathing, listening Seiji-kun’ heart beating as fast as his own.
Yuuto had no idea for how long they stayed that way. “I’m broken,” Seiji-kun said suddenly, his hands slipping between the teacher’s legs.
“What?” Yuuto said out of reflex. His eyes widened and his cheeks reddened at the same time.
“I need you.” Seiji-kun’ hand pulled the skirt and went inside Yuuto’s underwear, grabbing the teacher’s manhood.
The touch was enough to make Yuuto grow, but Seiji-kun caressed the manhood until it was throbbing, and then he moved his hand up and down.
The teacher quivered from where the student touched him, the hot flash spreading throughout his body. In a few seconds, his mind was a haze and he would’ve moaned if he hadn’t bitten his lips.
“Why are you doing this?” Yuuto managed to ask between his teeth. Seiji-kun said nothing, his hand moving faster. “Ah!” Despite trying his hardest, the moan slipped through his lips.
“I need you,” Seiji-kun said again. To Yuuto, the voice came from far away, reaching him through a haze of pleasure, barely noticeable above the teacher’s own muffled moans. The hand moved faster and faster, making his body hot from head to toe. “I want you.”
I want… you… too, he managed to think. Yuuto’s mind went blank and all he cared was the pleasure he felt from that hand, from that man.
The teacher was about to reach pleasure, each movement bringing him closer and closer. He tried his best to think of something else and prolong the moment.
It’s coming… he could feel it. Though he had failed, he didn’t mind at all. “Haa…” his seed poured in gushes.
Breathing hard, with his face burning hot, his mind still a haze of pleasure, Yuuto turned his head and looked up at Seiji-kun.
The artist raised his hand with Yuuto’s seed, staring at it. Then he licked it once. The teacher widened his eyes, but before he could say anything, Seiji-kun brought the fingers to Yuuto’s mouth.
The smell was strong… before he realized it, the teacher moved and had the thumb in his mouth, his tongue twisting around Seiji-kun’ finger. The taste of his own seed made Yuuto’s manhood stir again.
Seiji-kun took his hand from Yuuto’s mouth, turned the teacher around and kissed him.
The teacher kissed him back, trying to wrap his arms around the artist. He had no strength to raise them. Instead, he grabbed Seiji-kun’ shirt, pulling him closer.
I’m… with Seiji-kun… again. When they pulled apart, Yuuto looked in to the eyes of the man he wanted for so long. They were wild, just like that night, but there was something different. In that night, those brown eyes had a light of lust, one the teacher couldn’t resist. But today they were just wild and deep.
Seiji-kun kissed him again, and now Yuuto realized it too had something missing. He didn’t feel the lust, as if the artist’s mind wasn’t there. That’s right… something happened with him… It wasn’t time for that and Yuuto’s manhood reacted, the blood flow going back to its original place.
Yuuto finally managed to raise his arms. He put his hands on Seiji-kun’ chest and pushed him gently. The artist was gone only for a second, and then he was back, kissing the teacher on the neck. Despite himself, Yuuto felt the warmth spreading from where those lips touched him. But it was different from before; his manhood wasn’t hardening.
“Seiji-kun, I know something happened,” he said.
He stopped kissing for a moment. “I don’t wanna talk about that.” The artist was kissing again.
Yuuto knew he couldn’t force Seiji-kun anymore, so he decided to ask something else, something that lurked in the back of his mind. “Why… are you doing this?” He gulped. The teacher wanted this, wanted him, but part of him feared it would turn like their first time. If Seiji-kun was doing this just to take his mind out whatever happened, he wouldn’t be able to bare.
“Does it make a difference?” he spat, undoing the laces of Yuuto’s cosplay. “We did it once.”
His mind and tongue were wrapped on Seiji-kun’ lips, but Yuuto heard. “You… remembered?”
“I could never forget,” Seiji-kun said.
Yuuto felt a pang in his heart.
“Why did you lie?”
“Does it matter?” Seiji-kun unlaced and pulled the teacher’s cosplay roughly, almost ripping it. The clothes fell around Yuuto’s ankles. “You want me anyway. You came here for this.” He kissed Yuuto’s nipple and pinched the other. “I’m doing what we both want.”
You lied to me…
“Your body says otherwise,” Seiji-kun replied, his hand slipping down the teacher’s belly.
Yuuto looked down. His manhood was growing again. The teacher grabbed the hand. “Stop,” said he again, in a stronger voice this time.
Seiji-kun ignored him and kissed the teacher’s lips again, the free hand on the back of Yuuto’s head. He freed the other hand and placed it on Yuuto’s lower back. The teacher wanted to push him away, but the former student was too strong.
With a quick move, the artist’s hand was inside the teacher’s underwear again and he slipped a finger inside Yuuto. “You liked it so much that night, so why are you against it today?” Seiji-kun asked when he stopped kissing. He moved his finger around, looking for the teacher’s pleasure spot. “I have to say, no girl has ever ridden my dick like that. You’re the wildest I ever had, and I’ve been with crazy chicks.” The fingers were faster.
“Idiot…” Yuuto managed to say between moans. “Do you think that makes me happy?” Seiji-kun said nothing. “You lied to me,” Yuuto said in a low voice.
He scuffed. “I’m sorry,” the artist said before slipping a second finger in.
Yuuto took the deepest breath he could at the moment. “Stop!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.
“You want me,” Seiji-kun said, not hesitating for a second, “just as much as I want you.” He took his fingers out and then lowered his pants. His manhood was hard and throbbing, just as Yuuto’s was.
“I don’t want the right now you!” he screamed, the tears threatening to fall. “I want the Seiji-kun I love…” he said in a low voice, crying.
Seiji-kun turned the teacher around, holding Yuuto’s arm. With his free hand, he pulled the teacher’s panties down and pressed his hand against the cosplayer’s back.
This is wrong. It’s completely different from that night, Yuuto thought, the tears falling silently.
Seiji-kun was about to thrust his manhood inside Yuuto. The teacher could feel the tip pressing against him.
“What’s wrong with you?” Yuuto whispered.
For a moment, nothing happened… and then everything was gone. The manhood pressing against his butt, the hand on his back, the grip on his hand… all of it, gone.
Seiji-kun let go off the teacher and then fell down on the couch.
Yuuto managed to keep standing. He pulled his underwear up and turned quickly, his arms raised in defense position… but it wasn’t necessary. Seiji-kun wasn’t looking at him at all.
“You’re right… What’s wrong with me?” He placed both hand on his face, his shoulders trembling. “There’s so much wrong… I… I… I almost hurt you…” Seiji-kun cried. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” he mumbled the words again and again.
The teacher still had his hands up, but he came closer slowly. He had never seen the man he wanted like this. What could’ve… suddenly he knew. Yuuto knew why Seiji-kun did all those things.
Even if the artist loved teasing Yuuto, he’d never hurt him, not in his right mind.
The teacher knew why his former student spent the entire night drinking. He could feel Seiji-kun’ pain now.
Without hesitating, Yuuto hugged Seiji-kun as tight as he could.
“Stop…” he said in a weak whisper between tears. “I don’t deserve you… I don’t deserve to be near you…”
This time it was Yuuto’s turn to ignore Seiji-kun’ words. “And yet I’m here.”
Seiji-kun froze for a moment. “I almost… did something unforgivable…”
“But you stopped,” the teacher said in a low but firm voice. He broke the hug and looked in to Seiji-kun’ eyes. The artist stopped crying and stared back. “No matter if you’re broken or not, nor what’s wrong with you, I…”he hesitated, blushing. His heart was beating widely, just like the night they were together for the first time. Only now he realized how close their faces were. Be a man, Yuuto, he told himself and took a deep breath. “I love you.”
Seiji-kun widened his eyes and then tears fell again. “I don’t deserve you.” He lowered his gaze, staring the floor.
Yuuto grabbed Seiji-kun’ chin and raised it, forcing the artist to stare in the teacher’s eyes. He could feel his entire face burning, and still he leaned closer, planting a gentle kiss on the lips he longed for so long. “And yet you got me,” Yuuto said with a gentle smile. The former student was speechless.
Seiji-kun cried and then hugged Yuuto tight, almost as if he was afraid to let go and lose the man. “Grandpa… he… ” Seiji-kun choked the words back.
Yuuto understood. Saying it aloud would make it irreversible in the artist’s heart. Instead of words, the teacher simply hugged the man he loved back. Right now, Seiji-kun needs my support, and I’ll give everything I have, Yuuto thought.