Journey of the Immortal Grandmaster

Journey of the Immortal Grandmaster

by This_one_

Who is able to resist the allure of the cultivation world? The world where individuals can fly on their swords, crush mountains with a wave of the hand, dry up seas with another, and most importantly, have a chance to reach immortality?

Han Lingyun was certainly not planning on refusing the outstretched hand he had been offered. His conviction had only strengthened after the young boy had regained his previous life’s memories as a famous mathematician. The pain of death was still etched deeply in his soul, the futility of a mortal’s body.
But now Han Lingyun had found his hope to satiate his constant thirst for knowledge, his desire to uncover the laws of the world, his fascination for the universe.


Follow Han Lingyun as he embarks on a mythical journey to reach immortality. One step at a time, he leverages his brilliant mind while staying true to his cautious and calculative nature in order to weave his way through the many pitfalls of this unforgiving world.

https://discord.gg/4MYyQft9ap

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Author
This_one_

This_one_

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Word Count (11)
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Table of Contents
83 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
1- Old Man ago
2- Death and Life ago
3- Coming of age ceremony ago
4- Trial ago
5- Problem ago
6- Major and Minor ago
7- Martial Art ago
8- Choice ago
9- Cultivation Method ago
10- First Lesson ago
11- Cultivation ago
12- New Lifestyle ago
13- Answers ago
14- Unexpected surprise ago
15- High Market ago
16- Gains ago
17- Second Stage ago
18- Ranking Competition ago
19- Duels ago
20- Rise to fame? ago
21- Competition at the top ago
22- Mission Hall ago
23- Business ago
24- Cub’s Den ago
25- Edera Array Meet ago
26- Interest from high up ago
27- Efforts and Repetition ago
28- Plans and Deliberations ago
29- New rankings ago
30- Unavoidable trouble ago
31- Leaving the mess behind ago
32- Exchanging favors ago
33- Harvest   ago
34- Facing the beast ago
35- New rules ago
36- Consequences ago
37- Meeting ago
38- Shu Line ago
39- Ties ago
40- Rite of passage ago
41- Request ago
42- Willpower ago
43- Qi condensation ago
44- Mission ago
45- Kill ago
46- Family ago
47- Agreement ago
48- 1 vs 1 ago
49- Rematch ago
50- Full circle ago
51- New year, new rankings ago
52- The power of qi condensation ago
53- Water ago
54- Runic structure ago
55- A battle of wits ago
56- Teacher and Disciple ago
57- Hunt ago
58- Martial Heart ago
59- Waterfall ago
60- hello world ago
61- Design ago
62- Assessment ago
63- Updates ago
64- The Wood Element ago
65- Second year ago
66- Sun Cultivation Alliance ago
67- Sects ago
68- Auction ago
69- Human Behavior ago
70- Bouquet Final ago
71- A Black Rainbow ago
72- Stars Align ago
73- Teaming up ago
74- Dark Moon Combination ago
75- Provisional Ranking ago
76- Nasty Surprise ago
77- Single Elimination Bracket ago
78- Combat and Fire ago
79- Third and final day ago
80- Victorious rage ago
81- Loser Bracket ago
82- Laying Back ago
83- Conclusion ago

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Turtle Cloud
Overall

Disappointing Subject Matter

Reviewed at: 23- Business

First off, I love math. When I first read the synopsis, I really wanted to like this story.

Unfortunately, there's not much to like about it; it really is just your average Cultivation story with some very basic offhand algebra thrown in. Now, don't get me wrong, the Cultivation story by itself is rather entertaining and decent enough to stand on its own. But that's not why I started reading the story, and it's really not enough for me to continue reading the story.

Secondly, the MC's only notable quality is being less of a "famous mathematician", and more of a little weasel.

We are told that the MC is a genius, loves math, and really wants to learn more about fundamental laws of the universe, yeah?
What we are shown is a child with a handful of college-level math courses and a strong desire for money and power. His 'genius' was answering a couple of simple and well-known riddles and above average memory, his 'love of math' was scamming a good-natured Elder who likes him (with the most infamous "simple-question-hard-proof" pair of the millenium) and setting up a morally grey resale business potentially burning bridges for a pittance, and his 'desire for knowledge' is just side-tracked in favor of cultivation with the excuses of "longevity" and "strength to survive".
Keep in mind, he's a 10 year-old in a powerful and very well-managed sect.

He's not gonna die of old age any time soon and currently has no reason to think his life is in imminent danger.

Mike Henry
Overall

It seems wierd that 10 to 11 year olds would be given bandit hunting missions, murdering each other, and overall being mini adults with adult problems. I know that this is a cultivation world and they are cultivators and not children, but something still seems odd to me. Overall I still like the story

Reifi
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Has potential but desperate need of edit/proofread

Reviewed at: 74- Dark Moon Combination

Cultivation stories are almost always fun to read. The author has a solid conception of their world and direction in which they want to take the story. Their cultivation system and general world building is certainly at this stage of the story the most well thought out and realised part of the story. However, as much as I don't want to disparage an obvious ESL writer, the author needs to have someone assist them with grammar/syntax. There are countless scenes in this series that are brought down by poor and awkward word choices that don't flow naturally alongside weird dialog and explanations. 

 

The style and story are the strongest parts of the work thus far. Both have great room for improvement but manage to paint a picture that is interesting. The characters are fairly shallow and the weird choice to start everyone at such a young age stretches the readers immersion for how murderous and cunning they are. I won't expand further on grammar as I alreadly touched on it above. I wish the author all the best in continuing the series. It's plain they have a talent for writing that they can steadily improve upon. I think they would definitely benefit from a slower release schedule where they could spend more time on making sure everything is at a satisfactory level. 

SK_Bearer
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Great Idea, but Painful to Read

Reviewed at: 38- Shu Line

How to summarize this? It's a bit of a challenge. The concept is pretty good, actually. I mean, it's a bit rough and there is a lot to be forgiven for both reading it for free and the shear tenacity of the author in keeping going. It was alas, a tenacity that I could not manage as a reader, ending in the late 30's chapter simply unable to wade further into it in the hope that it would earn the rising star position and return some hope of enjoyment back to me.

 

Prior reviews have touched upon some of the primary elements and issues, but I will put it my own way;

Style: The style is rough, much like a quick rough draft. I judge my own self harshly as an author in this area and do so here as well. A story with good potential, executed in a haphazard way that lacks substance, believability, or any hook to pull you to the next chapter. It is reasonably consistent, mostly in the feeling that the author is just as confused about what will happen next as we are. As such, it lacks in pacing and richness, and ultimately the characters are what ruin it for me.

Grammar: It's painful, but readable. Thanks, potentially to spellcheck, but giving the author the benefit of the doubt, lacking in spelling errors. It does deliver in spades in grammar issues, vocabulary substitutions with similar sounding words, incoherent sentences that require contextual dissection. Overall, it hurts to read from this perspective, but it's on the forgivable side since you can actually read it. There are a lot of contradictory elements as well, which is a story/style issue too, as well as grammar.

Story: Great idea. The whole isekai cultivation thing, but the MC doesn't ever make any use whatsoever of modern ideas/math/science never works for me, being an Engineer in RL. Even a basic elementary school education in math/science is superior to most understanding of physics/math demonstrated by MCs in most cultivation isekai, so bravo for this concept. It's a GREAT concept. The progression though falls flat on substance. There is too much math and not enough of anything else. It's much more compatible with a litRPG type blue box of numbers approach than the story approach taken. You really don't care that much about the numbers at all and in fact, the numbers do not apply to anything much beyond the MC's wallet, so the extreme focus on them is difficult to accept. Additionally, the MC was suffering from terminal cancer, wasn't that old, prior to death in our world, yet they did, basically, every kind of job that would have been convenient to do, but only when it is suddenly convenient. They go from being a mathemetician to a physicist to a greedy money grubbing business person all in a whiplash inducing manner. 5 star idea and 2 star execution, so giving it a reasonably high mark here.

Characters: The characters are not only so 2D as to be paper dolls, but as repeatedly noted in other reviews, they are massively inconsistent with human beings. There are repeated notations about them being 'only X years old' yet they act like adults, not even young adults. There is also the repeated disgusting and common inference of romance between pre-pubescent children. Even though it is unfortunately common even in say, PBS Kids programming from government funded educational 3-8y targeted mainstream stuff, it's just blatantly unreal and sick. Stop trying to build sexual tension between 9 year olds. IT DOESN'T EXIST AND IT'S NASTY. Beyond that, these aren't child soldiers, yet they just mass murder and maim with almost no hesitation. Mortals in a cultivation world are always depicted as FREAKING TERRIFIED of cultivators, because of the potential for death and maiming. Cultivators killing each other, when they are out and about and righteous are encountering demonic, etc, sure, fine. Those are grown ups, usually centuries old. 9 year olds in the same sect slaughtering each other while elders laugh? You lost me.


Overall, I'd genuinely love to see this rewritten, by this author, with the foresight of where the story has gone to, with characters actually developed in a character age appropriate way, and without post-pubescent and adult themes being heavily shoved into us through child characters. GREAT IDEA, painfully executed. Huge potential for this author to improve and for this story to go places. Please, please, also get an editor.

DoktorPrimat
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A great reincarnated in a cultivatior world story

Reviewed at: 70- Bouquet Final

I truly enjoy your story, and your cultivation-system is progressing nicely, and the story os flowing wonderfully. A few spelling errors here and there, but nothing that breaks the reading spell.  The only thing that iffs me a tad is just how.... grown-up the 11 year old children are acting. They seem 5-7 years older mentally than they are, and apparently also look some 5 years older physically than their age would suggest. That throws me for a loop every time it's mentioned.

Beside that I like that the MC isn't shown as a OP munchkin that gets the heavens fortune and trips over a secret cultivator treasure stash and all that nonsense, but seems intelligent, yet still curious. I enjoy thr MC's thoughts on certain aspects of cultivation, such as what the spirit root actually is, and what qi is. A bit og science in the magic world is always a nice outlook.

The story is definitely worth a read if you enjoy cultivation and advancement stories with a well written world and a colourful description. The characters are well thought out and have a life besides interacting with the MC, and the story has an overall well-thought out feel to it.

Looking forward to more!

-Dok

Rodan
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Cultivation story but with some smattering of math to make the MC seem smarter than the typical cultivation MC. A bit of a twist is the sects 800 newest ten year old children recruited live out a poor rendition of 'Lord of the Flies' by William Golding, while the sect elders watch from afar allowing children to kill each other.

Most of the story focuses on the MC cultivating and exposition dumps that tend to restate the same thing over and over again. The MC is reincarnated after a "fateful meeting" with a "mysterious old man". As a 10 years old anti-social (he has no friends what-so-ever) child he attends his coming of age ceremony, in the mortal world, to become an adult. He then joins a cultivation sect and proceedes to repeatedly say uncovering the secrets of the universe and his family are important. Yet he immediatly makes several friends, exploits an elder and the sects point/money system, focuses on cultivation, and largely ignores that elders allow children die as this it the "cultivation world".

Grammer is as one would expect from a poorly translated Chinese webnovel. Mistakes litter each chapter. Even if used to such already many are hard to ignore as they break the readers immersion, provided you are able to immerse your self in the story to begin with.

The MC is comes across as two-dimensional as is the case with most cultivation novels. All the side characters are very one-dimensional: we know their names, martial arts practiced, and cultivation level. Most side characters, the MC's "friends" included, could be removed and there would be no major changes to the plot of the story.

tomledder
Overall

Good Cultivation Story. 

The story includes everything that is needed in this kind of story.
Meanwhile the hero has no chat power.  In addition, the form of obtaining the energy is well explained.
story for people love cultivation story.

Hope the author continues to write clearly. 
The pace of the story comes at the desired time. 

TheQuietFox
Overall

The story itself is fairly enteraining, which as far as I am concerned is the most important aspect of a story. The story also has its fair share of flaws most of which could be fix with a passover by an editor and some minor rewriting.

There are a few things to note however.

1. The math bits are largely glazed over, not that this is bad however as most of the authors audience are not likely physics/math majors. The author probably made a good choice with that, the remaining math bit could be cleared up a bit, but that's nothing a good editor can't fix.

2. There are a number of issues with age vs maturity, such as the tasks from the sect and the way the kids act. Just about all of it could be solved with a time skip or just starting the story 2-5ish years later.

3. Also the MC is not the protagonist in a typical sense, It seems the author is trying to do a parity of sorts based of the many cliches that plage the genre. As such instead of the MC doing dumb stuff its another character called Yu Tao. This however could be approached way better with bigger emphasis on the parity bit.

All in all it's a good first draft, one that needs to be fleshed out, but has the makings of a good story nonetheless.

WilliamHellios
Overall

Cultivation with math, this about sums it up, it's realy great how the story mixes these two so great together.

 

The MC has is consistent with his motives and appears and feels real, he is not just some justice warrior set on saving damsels in distress.

 

The caracters in the story are lifelike, they have dreams,ambitions etc... they are relatable and likeable for the most part.

 

4.5 stars because the first 5 chapters could be better, the story really picks up between ch 5-10

livebackwards
Overall

For something advertising math, it seems a lot like you googled: advanced math, looked up stuff for 5 mins, then looked up logic problems and then said great done. Not the best, although I am kinda biased as an engineer but all the math/knowledge stuff feels very forced, like you made a template for a xianxia story, then said lets sprinkle some math/logic here and there.

Next is the god-awful dialogue. After reading both translated and english first language written xianxia, I can whole-heartedly say that the conversations between cultivators in this story are THE MOST dry and cringey there is. The author really went and made a female cultivater say 'hihi' twice in the same text bubble.

If you are looking for xianxia, look elsewhere, if you are looking for math being interwoven into a story, look elsewhere. If you are a mathematician and looking for a xianxia story with math in it, go ahead but I warned you.

To the author, best of luck with your dialogue and I hope it gets better, but I can't bear with it as there are much better alternatives.