Tanking Hits [I Level When I Get Hit in the Balls]

Tanking Hits [I Level When I Get Hit in the Balls]

by DragonOfRochester

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

[Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge!]

During his Destiny Reveal, Sam gets handed the designation of Tank — a death sentence for an Elf.

He has four years to reach level 300 — a feat almost never achieved by Elven Tanks. If he doesn't succeed, then he will die when he's summoned to complete his Destiny Test.

Fortunately, the Goddess who handed him that death sentence gave him a special chance to succeed. The only problem — it was a real kick in the nuts.

What to expect from this story: A unique non-crunchy LitRPG system, slapstick comedy, puns, middle-school level humor, supportive friendships and shocking deceptions.

High praise from a reader- “This is so dumb but so good”

This story is being written for 2022’s Writathon. (Because of the rules, the author currently has no chapters of this story up on Patreon)

Updates Sunday-Wednesday during Writathon.

Cover is AI Generated by MidJourney, fixed in NovelAI and further edited by Dragon of Rochester

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The premise of the story is that a terrible idea written well can be a good time. 

I don't doubt that that can be true. 

This story is not that. 

This story has a wonderful idea, and brilliant execution, The grammar? Smooth. The author is right on the ball with humor. The plot? Tettering constantly between a close shave, and a hairy landing. The tone? Tied in a sack and hung from an archway. The humor is surprisingly tasteful. 

The party is a mix of righteous shithousery, an side of brotherly love, and a healthy serving of flying by the seam of their pants. 

The LitRPG elements are actually really unique, with a party of VERY niche skill with obvious power, which require builds entirely focused upon it. It's a nice system. 

If you think any of this appeals to you, go nuts. 

Tldr: A well hung LitTPG with fun characters, a nice premise, and a well rounded, smooth plot. 



What kind of deranged maniac enjoys this?

Reviewed at: Chapter 5 - Testicular Fortitude

I do, and you probably will too. The narrative revels in absurdity, with plenty of comedic premises. The overarching plot is quite literally to gain levels or die, so there's a fairly compelling driving force here for our protagonist, rather than murder for murder's sake. On a more cheery note, there's plenty of visceral pain ahead for Sam. I'm not a sadist, I swear! Finally, the character art is quite good. All-around enjoyable story, definately worth the read. 


From the author of "When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel To Try Again," comes a new work where an elf goes into a temple with his peers to get his class, and gets tossed out with a bullshit fate, a bullshit way of leveling, and memories from another world he gained by smacking his head on the altar of the Goddess Of Intelligence on his way in to the class selection room. Thus far, it's a barrel of laughs, and I can't wait to see more. Don't go in expecting the story to take itself seriously, (it was written as the result of a bet, after all,) and you'll have fun. 


Codpieces and You: A Guide to surviving a Isekai

Reviewed at: Chapter 1 - Destiny is a Kick in the Nuts

If you came here from 'When Immortal Ascension fails' like I did then you know what to expect from the author. If your new then expect a nice solid story with medium pacing with no major grammar mistakes, and a possible side serving of unreliable narrator. I'm hoping Dragon leans more into the comedy for this work because he has a nice turn of phrase for puns from his previous work. Hope you have fun with this

SR Fauth

Every Chapter I Read Made Me Wince

Reviewed at: Chapter 11 - Nut Bud

This story is ... a painfully good time. Its like the most disturbing duck tales ever, but with monsters and leveling.

With ath being said, let us dive right into it:

STLYE SCORE 5/5: The style of writing is loose, a bit gritty, with the kind of humour that makes anyone with family jewels wince on a chapter to chapter basis. Its amazingly well intoned, with satire that is right up the alley of the more unique ones that's I have read.

STORY SCORE 5/5: Get to level 300, by getting kicked in the nuts. Thats the story. And it, against all odds, works. Its painfully obvious that this is an amazing blend of vengeance, and it is perfectly well written. Throw in a goddess who seems just as sadistic as many of the monsters, and you have a good time.

GRAMMAER 5/5: I saw nothing, and I mean nothing, that I could point to that would break my immersion in this great fiction.

CHARACTER SCORE 5/5: The characters are drop dead hilarious. They develop well, meet the satire head on, and figure out unique solutions to problems I don't think I have ever read of anyone haveing before. They are written in a way that they progress steadily, and I enjoy eveerymoment of it.

OVERALL SCORE 5/5: This is an absolutely MUST read on Royal Road. There are not too many that I would drop a fully released Amazon novel for, but this is definitely one of them. You need to check out this jewel in the rough before someone manages to break it open.

Yukitora-J L Wright

Brilliant, funny, doesn’t take itself too seriousl

Reviewed at: Chapter 12 - Of Tentacles and Testicles

I almost didn't start this, preferring a little more to a story before I begin but two chapters and I was hooked. It's funny yet so well written, as I'd expect from this author. I'm already invested in the posse of main characters, their deadline and their unique boons which make life a little more interesting. I suspect that this already special story will turn into something amazing. Don't take it too seriously for now (as the author improves frequently) but if you want fun give it a go!

BB Shelbie

It's quite funny, and is clearly an isekai parody.

The pace is amusing, with both ups and downs, and shows an enormous amount of potential hilarity.

The side characters are nearly as much fun as the main character.

Right now it's a little light on the chapter count, but if it keeps up I will be happy to leave an advanced review.


As of Ch 16 The story is fun and has potential

Reviewed at: Chapter 16 - Not in the Face

This review is as of CH 16, and early days based on how the story has been set up from the beginning. It's a good story, and the 'Isekai' portion is near enough to invisible/unneeded that it could be easily edited out and basically nothing would have been lost.

That's because the author actually made there be acutal logic and reasoning for the protagonist to go through a shonen style levelling sprint. (a) have a OP boon, with nigh crippling leveling requirements (b) have a 'killer' deadline to force him to try to grow faster than the average adventurer, in order to make sure he survives the TEST...  AND (c) made it so he isn't 'unique' just super rare in world, due to the self correcting nature of bad race-job combinations.

I also love how a lot of the mechanics have been partially referenced/foreshadowed to show they have been thought up from the start WITHOUT doing a whole expose in the first 30 minutes of bumping his head.

So, as long as the author is able to keep the original voice of the story, and allow for the young man to continue forth with his growth, this is definitely a story worht keeping your eye on.


PS - The Ranger Chef character might be a good party member as he doesn't give AF about levels and stuff or skills, he just wants to cook.


Incredibily good, the author has a good style and can make such a twisted preview interesting. The only thing that can make someone's nose  twist ,including mine, is the combat. This story is more about the skill he gains, how he tries to work around his quirk and his party. The combat has a strange working system and is described in a way that completely deprive the read of immersion. As I said, it's not because of a lack of skill but because it is not the centre of the story


Story concept is from a bet about making a good story from bad ideas. I'd have to say this theory DEPENDS. Yes, you can make a good story with some iffy ideas, but then the story needs to actually be more about the story, and play loose with the gimmick. If you play strict with the gimmick, it becomes extremely stale and annoying, and restricts it to a box that could limit all sense of progression. There have been NUMEROUS other stories on this site doing this not from a bet, and they failed. You can only read so much before losing interest, and the writer also can't progress the plot and drops the novel. I enjoyed reading this for a few chapters, but it got really tough to keep reading, since the gimmick is too annoying. There was a loophole early on, but it immediately got patched. Dude, that's killing the natural flow, and puppeteering the plot. You can't force it or it ruins the immersion. Plot armor exists outside of the MC, you can unrealistically force events to happen, and I despise that far more than plot armor. If there is a term for doing that, I'd like to know, because I'd say that's one of the biggest problems that hurts novels. I lost interest after realizing the gimmick is never going to evolve, be super strict, and be the main focus. That means the novel progresses nowhere, and it's a waste to keep reading.

So while the theory is possible, just not in this case, because the story was sabotaged with a static plot device, which it was already a bad concept. I could have ignored it with a few loopholes and more story focus, but no it's all about being hit in the nuts 24/7, which is boring.

Sad thing is that this should have been obvious to someone who's a capable writer that thinks the idea can be passable with good writing. Yeah, good writing is the freaking key, and being too stuck on the gimmick is not good writing. So technically, it's not a lost bet because it doesn't fulfill the criteria to compete, but it's not a win either. Just have to copy Edison making the light bulb until it works, I suppose.