Immortal War

by Kyfe

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Drama Fantasy Romance Tragedy Martial Arts
A blend of the Chinese Xianxia genre with traditional Western Fantasy setting and voice. No endless cycles of revenge to drive a plot line. More internal dialogue from the character's POV so you feel more drawn INTO them as opposed to viewing them.

Synopsis: A young man born of a merchant family takes a journey on the path of Cultivation. In a society where the strong eat the weak and nobody bats an eye to blatant murders on the street. Can this youth wage a war against the establishment power to secure a better life for not only himself, but for all men?

Chapters on RRL will trail publications on my wordpress website. If you want to get current on the story, head to: https://wexiay.wordpress.com/
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  • Pages :
  • 275
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Author
Kyfe

Kyfe

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hao16
  • Overall Score

Good start, weak follow up

First off, the author is pretty good at having a comprehensive idea of the plot. Unfortunately, the readers don't. The author has clearly created a carefully thought out story , but with the lack of plot so far it's just a pretty painting to be admired from far away and not something the readers can relate to. Secondly, the struggles of the protagonist .... Underwhelming. Usually web novels either follow the plot of a stupidly over powered protagonist or someone who is weak initially but does show good character development. Here the protagonist is a middling character who 'll supposedly power up in the future but is weak to begin with. That's ask fine, but it marks him as destined for greatness and thus squelched out whatever room for development that existed. 

 

Again , all this criticism is to help the author refine his storytelling, plot pacing and narration. This is in no way a direct attack or anything. The grammar is in fact well above average for RRL. I hope to see an improved story in the future

mukkaar
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Really good xianxia!

As said in description story really sucks you into character. Good character development and really well written. As for story it seems to be pretty interesting just haven't grasped it yet with 20 chapters in. All the technical details in this novel are top notch, its easy to read, grammar is good and story seems well tough out.

Interested seeing what happens in future! 

ElDani
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More Xianxia than I expected

To be perfectly honest, I feel somewhat let down after having read what has been posted up to the 24th March 2016. Not because it was bad, clearly this is a story the author has put a lot of time and effort into, but I think the description is kind of misleading, which made me have unreasonable expectations that were not met. The major reason Immortal War jumped out to me was its promise of a western take on the traditional Xianxia genre, but the only thing firmly western I have noticed so far are the naming conventions for characters and places. The evolution of relationships between characters, the behavior of characters and the events propagating from both remain very much in exactly that style. I would say that it's a bit like putting a different label on a product in your pantry. Just because it now says sugar instead of salt doesn't make it taste any sweeter.

Having said my piece of criticism, let me tell you about the rest. The main character of this tale is the son of a wealthy and successful trader, who lives in a fantasy world that is at once very traditional with a system of nobility and on the other hand almost a meritocracy, where the most powerful cultivators are apparently immortal (or rather ageless) and seem to have a lot of personal power and influence. Like almost any story of this genre, the social inequality is a big topic that keeps being mentioned subtly until, after one chapter, you're being hit over the head with it time and again. This is done in the typical way of a 180 degree personality inversion of a secondary character, which is something else readers will not be unfamiliar with.

If you like the Xianxia genre or maybe even read these kinds of stories for that special brand of overly dramatic set of actions and feelings, then Immortal War is a story I cannot recommend any higher. The technical quality of the writing is very good, but definitely superb if one only counts what is published on Royal Road itself. The author truly knows how to build a story from the ground up and does not hurry through the crucial moments.

One thing I wasn't able to enjoy for the longest time is the realm/cultivation system in the story. Not only are there so many ranks/paths that keeping them straight is very difficult, the author only offers a comprehensive listing with its details, features and the proper ranking after you have read the first 15 chapters. I will suggest to anyone planning to read this story, that having the chapter called "Update: Glossary of Terms" opened in the background for reference will be very helpful in your understanding of the setting. Without that information, you'll just get bits and pieces until you have so many of them, that it'll be difficult to keep things straight.

To summarize: the story would actually deserve a higher rating, but it wouldn't be fair not to take the false advertising in the description into account. I'm sure some people are going to disagree with me, but I believe I'm right, both about the "too much Xianxia" and the description being taken into account as well.

lorenzo86
  • Overall Score

This story is fun to read you get quickly attached to our mystirious MC. The first chapter is very unclear and  you even wonder why is was put there , however I believe that is will later make sense . So if you like caracters that are determined to improve while having some mystirious background , this fiction is for you !