Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How're you all doing?

Meh, good things are going good. For now, at least.

I'm getting some PM's by a friend telling me that I'm getting the MC op really quickly but if any of you guys have that problem let me tell you the same thing I told him...

You knew exactly what you would be getting when you chose to read the story, so why complain about it now? :P

I'm not angry or anything, just confused. I mean, if the option to modify my front page was still available to me... (it got bugged when the site changed and I can no longer even access it)

I would probably set the OP MC mark right up there for all to see but I kinda think the story reviews do a good enough job of that.

Anyways, here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Mere moments later... - The Shivering Cross Mansion (ruin) - Leonardo's Point Of View...

Having scanned the area for potential kills, I manage to notice an isolated guardsman on the far left of the Mansion. Much like its usual counterparts, mansions like these come with an extremely large garden area around its entirety, my family's mansion included, which provides assassins with a great way to kill off unwary guards.

In fact, the guards of my mansion usually know these things and don't approach the bushes and trees at all during the night, but there are occasions when a guard goes missing in the gardens. However, if that's the case then everyone knows not to blame the assassin that killed him but the guard captain, who obviously wanted him dead.

Its also a good way to get rid of nosy idiots.

This particular guard however, was not goaded into his doom by anyone other than his bladder. Having the decency to let him finish, no I didn't watch, I promptly stab both of my daggers through his throat to deny him the ability to make a sound, impale him through the chest with a hand, devour him whole and catch my daggers before they fall onto the slate floor, all in a single motion.

Another smile forms upon my face as I let myself sink into the shadows again, already feeling the man's essence being used up by my reconstructing body. He wasn't exactly big on life-energy, but damn if that wasn't quick.

Approaching a duo of guards sitting on a bench, a man and a woman drinking beer and laughing loudly, I notice their drunken state via smell alone. Or, should I say, the stench alone. Not wasting any time, I leap out of the shadows and, spinning my daggers in mid-air, impale each one of them through their skulls as my hands instantly cover their mouths and then pull them into the bushes.

Grabbing each of the corpses by their chests, I devour them, leaving only dust and gray skin in my wake. Standing up and looking onto the bench, I notice how the blood which spilled out of their heads is also gone... guess it also gets consumed? How very convenient.

Watching around for a brief few more moments, I notice how the rest of them have started to notice that people are going missing so everyone is now gathered around the middle, albeit they don't have the same look of panic as normal people usually do in these situations, but I guess that's something I can expect from vampire hunters.

Anyways, turning Eadom back into its crusader sword form, I once again leap out of the shadows and impale a random fool through the chest."GHUARGH!" His gargled scream catches the attention of the twenty or so people present here and I smile as I pull Eadom upwards, slicing the man in half and exposing his heart before catching it with a hand.

They watch in horror as his flesh, blood and bone are devoured within moments, the essence, the soul and the mind of the person disappearing right before their eyes. Some of them remain stunned, paralyzed even, but most ready their weapons in defiance."Zero formation! Attack in turns, two seconds per!"

An older man exclaims to the crowd and soon, I am surrounded by the hunters in a zero-like-shape. However, nobody attacks me."What's wrong? You heard the man... ATTACK ME!"

My voice, deep and bloodthirsty, ruptured out of my throat, surprising me with its sudden change as a young girl with a sword screeched and leaped at me. Sighing as I realized that most of these guys aren't really that strong or experienced, I focused myself onto the fight with the intent to reach that old man. Maybe he can give me a good fight.

Raising her sword high up in the air and then beginning to move her hands down, still screaming, the poor fool was unable to defend against my parry, for I simply did a right side swing with Eadom and thus, blowing the sword out of her hands. Her now terrified visage only managed to raise my appetite as I impaled her upon my hand and devoured her.

Others finally started to wake up as rage fueled their courage. A young boy, barely fifteen, screamed much like the girl before him and charged at me with a rapier lunge. His stance, although clearly well trained, had not yet seen any real battle. Smiling to myself, I charge forward and scare the shit out the boy, making him lose footing and change the direction of the rapier, which was previously pointing towards my chest, now it was stabbed into my shoulder.

I grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up, using my height advantage and then, like a vampire, tore out his neck with my titanium teeth, turning him to dust.

A spear suddenly stabbed me from behind and I laughed as I fed essence into my left fist and turned around in an attempt to slam a black haired teenage girl's pretty little head off, but my attempt was stopped by a heroic boy of the same age, who used a shield to defend her from my attack, sending them both flying into a statue nearby.

Tearing out the spear and throwing it at the old made me pause for a moment as the old guy caught the thing with surprising ease. I smiled at him, which caused the old man to sigh."Youngsters... weather monsters or men, are all the same. So eager to fight, so eager to die..."


Following his orders, two boys who look like twins begin their attack, both using lances with what appeared to be sanctified wood at the blade part."Ha! Lets see if you're dumb enough to take this!" One yells with a voice full of arrogance.

"Don't goad him, man!" The other screams at him in uncertainty.

They clearly expect me to take the blow, which makes me blink. Oh, what dreadful innocence. With a moments look at each others form, I realize that all I need to do here is simply take a step back.

"HIYAAAH! TAKE THIS, TWIN LANCES OF" It takes the loud one a moment to notice how I merely took a step back, causing his more cowardly twins lance to dig into his brothers own throat.

"NO! BROTHER!" The cowardly one exclaims and I swear dramatic musing started playing right then and there as he pulls out the lance and holds the other guy in his hands...

Its all very much gay-ish.

Also cliche.

I don't like it that much. So before they could begin their talk, I promptly behead and devour them."HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" One of the remaining trainee vampire hunters screeches and turns to run away, only to be shot through the skull by their teacher.

"Hmph, fool. We do not tolerate cowardice in this organization. However, I can see that you are all worthless so I will be the one to handle this. Go, warn the other masters about the situation!" He yells at them with sheer fury in his voice.

He does not appear to regret the deaths of his initiates at all. Guess that's the kind of mentality you need to have when you decide to fight a war against the dead.

My respect for the old, grey haired fool has just risen up a bit."Ghraaa..."

I heard myself growl at the approaching enemy as he pulled out his sword, a golden blade with a silvery handle, a wooden holy cross tied to the handles end. In all honestly, the weapon felt dangerous.

And then, I noticed how there's something dripping from the blade. Something pure white in color... holy water? I wonder if it will even work on me.

Probably."Hmm, waiting on me to attack first, are you? Well let me tell you that that is not going to happen as by killing my trainees, you've shown me your skill at parrying.. and the longer I can prolong this, the more people with actual skill are going to come up here."

His wicked smile makes me shrug as I offered him a laugh."The more, the better!"

He freezes in his spot for a brief moment."Hah, if anything, I can admire your hunger for battle, monster. I shall ensure that you get a proper burial!" He exclaims with pride deeply seated into his voice and then, when I loosened my guard for the merest moment, his eyes glinted and he struck.

He moved to quickly that I didn't even have the time to react, his blade dug through my abdomen with ease and I felt the holy water burning my insides. Recovering my focus, I promptly grab his blade and shove it in deeper as I headbutt him, forcing him away as my metallic mask easily delivers the blow equal to the force of a baseball bat.

Naturally, this only manages to stall him for a moment as I dig his sword out of myself and charged at him, attempting to strike at him with both Eadom and his sword."Holy barrier!" The man yells out and white light gathers around his arms, parring both of my blows as I am forced to let go of his sword which he catches in mid air and uses it to slice across my stomach."GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH!" I growled out loudly at this as I watched him making more symbols with his hands."Repel!"

With that scream, a powerful force blew me away and made me crash into a tree, breaking it in half."HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" My maddened laughter echoed throughout the night as I stood up, crimson tendrils erupting from my abdomen, healing all of my wounds within seconds as the old man's eyes grow wide."W-w-what.. what kind of monster are you?!"

"A Revenant!" I yelled out with glee as I tore through two foolish trainees with each hand and devoured them in order to heal myself.

He shakes his head in negative, making me pause."A revenant? No, that's not possible! No known revenant has such healing capabilities!"

"Well, I'm new." Is my rather blank, pretty blunt reply as he blinks at me and I notice that my voice has returned to its original self. Maybe my vocal cords were damaged and now they healed as I devoured those two idiots? Oh well, it was cool while it lasted.

Not wasting any more time, I used the old mans confusion to my advantage, transforming Eadom into a rapier and performing a proper lunge at the man whilst channeling mana into my left fist. One of the most basic spells ever and the first thing Yomi taught me...

The old man, as expected leaped to his right in order to dodge the blow. I smiled at him."Blood Spike."

And with that, a spike of blood erupted from my hand, impaling the old man through the chest and thus, killing him. His corpse falls wordlessly to the floor and I say."Heh, was fun while you lasted."

Devouring him, I turned towards the remaining initiates and grinned, showing their fearful forms my titanium teeth."Now then... who wants to die first?"

The looks on their faces spoke volumes of what I had become... and I loved every single moment of it.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

A few minutes later... - Inside of The Ruined Mansion - Leonardo's Point Of View...

"Masters! There's a monster outside that killing everyone!" A young boy exclaimed in panic as he ran towards a due of people.

A woman in her twenties, wearing scarcely anything but a black bra, shorts and stockings, wielding a duo of presumably holy pistols.

And another older man, this time clan in full plate, an ancient crusaders armor full of holy symbols and basically radiating power."Hmm, is that so? Would it happen to be the strange, masked young man with a divine artifact in his hand?"

The youngster then turns around in surprise as I am finally noticed, casually walking in though the remainder of what was once the front door."Y-yeah! That's him! B-but.. if hes here then all of my friend are de-*gunshot*"

And the boys corpse falls onto the ground as the woman scowls."Tch, pathetic midgets." Hah, you're not exactly too tall yourself.. unlike the dude next to you.

Thankfully, the unsaid comment remains unsaid as the woman turns towards me."You managed to kill that pompous fool outside, but you won't be able to get past the two of us. We know what you're here for, Living Crusade."

Then the older man lifts his gigantic shield off the ground and slams it down in front of her."And be assured, thou shalt not get it!"

The woman lets out a massive sigh as she readies her pistols and takes aim."We're gonna give you one last chance to piss off... there's scarce few Divine Artifacts with that amount of power left in the world and there is no way we can let it fall into unworthy, uncontrollable hands, even if you might actually be The Living Crusade's chosen wielder."

I stay silent for the moment as I ponder their words. The Living Crusade?"Are you people talking about Eadom?"

Their eyes grow wide with some unknown realization."Huh.. so you know the true name of The Living Crusade? That means you really are its chosen... too bad you've gotta die. You would have made a great pawn."

And with that, she leaps onto the wall, sticking to it as her heels apparently have some form of enchantment on them and shooting me while being upside down. Focusing on dodging her moves makes me incapable of noticing the old man moving and slamming me into a nearby wall behind me.

Without wasting a moment, the woman leaps onto the wall ceiling above me and starts shooting downwards before I can recover."Mana barrier!" I yell out in a minor panic as I do my best to kick the old asshole off in vain.

The bullets are blocked by my shield but each one drains a lot of my mana to keep away and she seems to have a limitless supply of them without needing to reload at all. Dammit, I want one of those magic pistols.

Hey wait, don't I have a pistol too?

Laughing at myself for a moment and feeding essence into my foot as I finally manage to kick the old fool away, I pull out my Desert Eagle and pull the trigger. However, as I didn't have enough time to aim properly, I only manage to blow off her left shoulder, sad."URGH! BASTARD!"

"What kind of vampire uses a firearm?!" The old man says as he regains his footing and I laughed."I'm not a fucking vampire!"

And with that, I pull out my axe and flight it at the old man, causing him to put his shield up in order to defend himself and I charge forward, turning Eadom into one dagger and cutting through an unarmored portion of the mans abdomen.

"Recovery!" I hear the woman yell out as tendrils of white reconnect her arm to her body and she starts shooting at me immediately, thus preventing me from finishing off the downed old man. Deciding to focus aggro to her like a proper boss, I promptly forgo any form of defense and charge her, managing to slam into her with my right shoulder and knock her to the ground, but stunning myself as she unloads a panicked bullet through my chest.

Taking my momentary paralysis as his chance to attack, the old man leaps onto me and slams downwards with his shield, using it like some kind of oversized fly-swatter, with me being the fly in question. Quickly re-positioning myself to a laying position in order to lower the damage, I take his attack head on."ARGH!" An involuntary grunt of pain escapes me as the old man jumps onto his shield."Ha, HA! Now you have nowhere to run, monster!"

"Ever heard of the brain limiter you dumb fuck?!" And with that, I push the unprepared fool off myself and promptly reverse out positions."Hu-huargh!" The strength of my arms with their limiters off is enough to throw him off me but it also causes my muscles to explode.

Thinking quickly, I leap onto the corpse of the trainee and devour it to heal myself just in time as a new hail of bullets causes me to defend my face with my arms."Mana Barrier!" This time, I pour more magic into the shield as I know the approximate amount needed to sustain my defense against her bullets now.

I begin channeling mana into my left hand and try to blast her with an elongated blood spike, but my hand is suddenly slapped down by the old man."Not bloody likely, brat!" He exclaims with his ever-present smile and I promptly lose it."OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!" Feeding my right hand with both essence and magic, I slam my fist into the shield of the old man."Hah! What a waste of ene... huh?"

My face twists into a bloodthirsty grin as the fool notices the blood flowing from his hands. You can't just take that kind of blow without getting your arms broken. Of course, my right hand isn't faring any better.

Wasting no more time, I grab his head with my left hand and tear into his neck with my teeth, devouring him within seconds."H-H-HIIIII!" The woman screams behind me as she turns away to run towards a gigantic stone door, an obvious vault.

Finishing my meal, I watch with interest as she slams some numbers into a nearby computer console and opens the door. Fueling my legs with essence, I charge forward and impale her though the chest with Eadom."Should've worn more armor and been less of a slut, bitch."

And with that, I use my left hand to break her neck and devour her right afterwards.

A resounding click is heard inside of my mind and I close my eyes for a meditative moment as I feel my energies. Around 20% mana left, essence still full, no body damage left to fix.

"Hehehehehe..." I heard myself chuckle deeply as I took in the scent of carnage and felt myself relax. I then took one look at the menacing entrance to what was most likely a tomb.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Mere moments later... - The Tomb - Leonardo's Point Of View...

Within moments, I find myself walking into a bright lit gray chamber, a couple torches here and there... and a mass of vampire hunter corpses scattered all around the room.

I approach one of the corpses and examine their wounds. Fresh, traces of something brownish on the wounds... a rusted weapon.

Turning around, I finally notice a gigantic skeleton wearing a crusaders garb. His long claymore is dirty with the blood of the slain, of the unworthy. I approach the obvious guardian."Yet another who seeks the power of The Living Crusade?" The skeleton suddenly awakens, its empty eyes glowing with golden energy.

I look at his soul and see that it is very much alike to my own... in coloration, at least. In truth, his soul expands further than this room has space to offer, reminding me of Essar's for a brief moment."Yeah, I do seek it. Although, I have a question I'd like to ask you first, if that's okay."

The skeleton promptly makes a strange face and what was probably his best attempt at a blink."Err.. well, okay?"

"Why do you people keep calling Eadom The Living Crusade?" I asked him with a tilted head and his jaw literally dropped."Y-y-you... you know The Living Crusade's true name?! Yet, you appear to be unaware of the fact that those unworthy cannot hear it, even if you say it out loud."

Ah. That's makes sense."Well.. that answers my question, I guess. So uh, this is the first time I've ever seen a guardian like you... could you tell me what I need to do before I can fill that cut-out cross?"

I point towards the skillfully carved out part of the marble floor. The Skeleton then promptly steps aside."Nothing at all. You know the weapons name and my purpose is to protect it from those unworthy. You have been chosen by The Living Crusade itself to wield it in battle and, as a proud Templar Knight, I have no reason to keep you from it."

Nodding towards the skeleton, I approach the marble altar and wipe ancient dust off its surface. Then, sitting down into a meditative position, I close my eyes and wait.

Suddenly, the strange feeling of belonging which I felt earlier today hits me again, as the very reality around me starts to tear itself apart. The broken bodies of the vampire hunter split into even more bits, the skeleton knight finds himself teleporting randomly around the room, my vision seems to be split in half, one part seeing the altar and other the cut-out cross behind me.

And then, the altar splits open and the same nail which appeared the first time materializes into existence. Taking it into my hands, I feel the nail turn itself towards my left hand this time and I plunge into it, feeding blood into the stone cross. A few minutes pass as the skeletal knight attempts his best at both watching me and keeping stable at the same time but kind of failing at me, forcing me to grit my teeth in order to stop myself from laughing.

There is something incredibly amusing about watching a skeleton in full body armor teleporting around the place with no rhyme or reason.

Soon, the cross is filled and I hear another click inside of my mind as I stand up. The Nail disperses into nothingness once again and reality begins to repair itself.

This time, I promptly ignore the feeling of unease as I am returned into reality. The altar in front of me splits itself open and reveals the same Jerusalem Cross as before. I watch with interest as it drinks of my blood till its had its fill and then place my left hand onto it, causing it to melt and fuse with the other piece of Eadom inside of me.

But something feels off as reality finishes fixing itself."Not enough..."

A strange whisper resounds inside of my mind and I blinked as I felt myself being turned towards the still-bleeding corpses of the fallen vampire hunters. My auspex awakened and I began to feel something new... the hot, crimson blood, the essence-carrying liquid which all living beings share...

"Need more... more..." The whispers got louder as I felt my hands extending to each side.

And then, massive tendrils of crimson mana flowed out of my hands, devouring each and every corpse within sight."NEED! MORE!"

Finally, the tendrils returned back into me... leaving me with a sense of sheer renewal.

The Skeleton nodded at me and I heard him give out a massive sigh of relief."Finally... I can rest... Goodbye, young one.. may your path deliver us the greatest of Crusades ever to exist..."

Then he raises his head up as his body begins to turn to dust."Ah.. but before I go... one more thing... Go.. to the Temple Of Solomon.. there, you will find.. one of the keys... but only do this.. once your weapon..."

And then, just as he is about to disappear."... Is... completee..."

Nodding at the disappeared Templar, I decide its time to use the app Essar gave me as I feel my body falling to the ground with a resounding thud, eliciting an amused snort from Yomi."Y'know, I stayed quiet during all this because I really had no idea what the hell to say, but it seems like you've managed to get yourself a bona fide quest!"

I just hope the next time you do something like this, it would be so damn dangerous...


"Hah... ha.. what are you saying, Aria? The danger is part of the fun!" Is my reply to my daughter, as I promptly decide to ignore Yomi.

"Indeed! Alas, it would appear that you've had a bit too much fun, this time." Essarheddon said with an amused look upon his face.

I merely scowled."Feh, spoilsports..."

The man's mere chuckle is the last thing I heard as I felt myself lose consciousness and collapse into a deep, deep sleep.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

And that is it for this chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoyed it!

BOSS BATTLE! Or, at least, my first attempt at one. I think it ended up okay, what do you guys think?

Btw, 4.5k words! Not too shabby, eh?

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!


Support "Euphoria [DISCONTINUED]"

About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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