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A note from Lord Joyde

A Lunatic Asylum or The Atheist Bible?

The title of the review is just a suggestion to change the name of the story. ... I thought Destiny: Infernal was crazy.

Anyways, how do I even review this?! Congrats on the new summary btw, this one is way worse. (as in it will drag more unaware people straight down the rabbit hole)

Before anyone decides wheather they want to read this or not, I want you to ask yourself a few things:

1. Do you like overthinking?

2. Do you like experiencing multiple existencial crisises in the same day?

3. Are you afraid of losing your sense of self?

4. Are you afraid of making your voice be heard?

5. How do you feel about carnage, rape, tragedy and horror?

6. How do you feel about religion being a main theme a story depicting a madman?

7. Can you differ between love and hate?

8. Can you differ between reality and imagination?

- if the answer to ANY of these is NO... you might wanna look away from this bloody Necronomicon hidden in plain sight.

On that note, I present to you EXIBIT A:

We are just one of infinite posibilities, collapsing them all into one singular reality, like opening Schrodinger's box and seeing if the cat is dead or not, we are just the universe trying to keep itself existing, without an observer, the posibility is not real, just theoretical, concious mind is what keeps the universe there, and each time you close your eyes, anything you are not touching directly, or experiancing through any other sense, dissapears, only to be rendered again once you open your eyes. If a tree falls in a forest and there is no one to hear it, it doesn't make sound, for the tree doesn't exist without anyone to percieve it, just like reality wouldn't exist if there was no one there to experience it. We exist only so that the universe may exist by observing it, and the universe exists only so that it can create something that can observe it, any part of the sky, the planet, your room that is not being experianced stops existing until you put your attention on it. We are both the egg and the chicken.

EXIBIT B:

Well, think of time as a series of still images, like the cells in a movie, the universe doesn't actually move forward in time, but minds or souls or whatever you consider is the thing that makes you an individual, are what moves in these possibilities, we move to the next most probable, the one with the least resistance, like a lightning in the atmosphere going to the ground. You are standing in some place, so it is probable that in the next second you will either be in the same place or somewhere very near, not on a moon of jupiter, so by switching over these possibilities at a rate that the mind interprets as fluid and continious, "time" happens, though there's always the non zero chance of something that wasn't there appearing or something that is there to dissapear and that is quantum tunneling, when the next state of possibility we switch to wasn't the one with the least resistance, but a hiccup in plausibility due to the nature of the rolling dice.

EXIBIT C:

Author: Well, not all Germans supported the Nazi Regime.. and yet, when teenagers today hear someone with a think german dialect, thats exactly the first thing their imagination forms.

Commenter: I really hate it when people form opinions on entire populations like that.

But in the context of us having zero influence on who gets elected: It's more like, "what do you expect us to do when our government does what it wants regardless of what we have to say or how we vote?"

EXHIBIT D:

Author: What happens when we catch it? We become food.

No.. I'm kinda sad to say this, but I'm one of those people who firmly belive that mankind wasn't made with the intention of being equal.

It just... does not work in a society like ours. People always have a need to place themselves above others with wealth, fame or skill.

They always did, liberty and equality are little more than limitations, just blocks in the road of power, but just because you cant enslave others to make yourself feel as their better in the literal sense, being someones boss when you are rich enough to literally own them anyways isn't that big of a difference.

"Nice car boss."

"If you work real hard for the next month, there'll be a second one! So work hard, my dear sla-I mean employee of the month!"

Commenter: Wage slaves is a good way of saying it, I think.

No matter what the situation is we always end up building a social structure.

I definitely agree that true freedom and equality are impossible in reality, Having said that, I still like the quality of life we achieved with our semi-equality and semi-freedom.

A dynasty or monarchy would've ended way sooner with the level of weaponry we have now, That's why Korean Poppin Fresh freaks me out so much, there's no legion of assholes stopping him from pressing the launch button.

--- I'm just going to stop here. By the way, all of the above are from A SINGULAR CHAPTER.

This is a story that you may as well start reading for the COMMENTS rather than the story itself...

Oh and did I mention that God is a Mad Scientist?

And Chaos is a feminist, social justice warrior and a strong, independent (but married) lesbian woman?

Yeah, if you think you've read insanity before... well, you are wrong.

Oh and the prologue lasts for 62 FUCKING CHAPTERS AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH....

Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How are you all doing?


What a wonderfully rainy day we're having here! Very Happy

I love rain.

Do you love rain?

I SURE DO.

Anyways, here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...


One hour later... - Croatian Coast (Rijeka) - Audrey's Point Of View...


"So this is the place where poor little Millicia lives, eh?" Muttering mostly to myself as I gazed at the mansion from a nearby rooftop.

What kind of city allows people to just build seventh century mansions in the middle of it all? Hn, come to think of it, just about all the buildings I've seen so far were kinda old looking.

The whole city appeared to be the unholy child of modern technology and prehistoric building styles.

Eh, might make for a good vacation spot, to be perfectly honest. Oh well.

Leaping down from a nearby rooftop and leaning against a corner, I decide to take my time and observe the situation before blindly charging in. The ancient mansion of the Kovach family, that is to say Millicia's family, was a decently defensible compound. Granted, it was nowhere near our family mansion but all things considered, they probably didn't have mandatory paranoia for several generations in their family.

I swear, that mansion is probably capable of coming alive and just killing everyone at any given moment considering how many different AI weapon systems we've invested in over the years.

That all aside, Millicia's mansion proved to be a mayor roadblock for the esper army as there was more than a few squadrons of soldiers blasting it with laser weaponry, with someone throwing a grenade or two in the meantime. Y'know, for an army of superpowered espers, they seem to make war much the same way we normal people do.

Well, not that I can really say that but... oh fuck it, you get the point.

Although.. by taking a closer look now that I can finally use and sense psionic energy... most of the esper soldiers dont seem to be espers at all. In fact, only their commanding officers have a modicum of the aforementioned energy coursing through their skulls. So maybe the espers are so limited in number that they have to rely on normal people for shock troops?

But if thats the case, why oh why would said normal people be willing to exterminate other normal people instead of the espers?

Must be some kind of mass mind control. Which means I must be careful when fighting them.

Hmm, perhaps the best way to get rid of the espers is to either stun and kill them or outright remove them from the playing field, much like I did to both sides a while ago. Sure hope no stray camera caught me in the act...

Oh well, a thought for later. Imagery can easily be wiped away should push come to shove. I am part of a mafia family, after all."FOCUS FIRE!" One of the esper commanders shouted suddenly as he pointed towards a weakened steel wall and threw a grenade towards it. I blinked.

His allies blinked.

The granade hit the wall, fell back towards his soldiers and exploded, killing a dozen men in the process. Yet, all he received was a slap from one of his female companions and the other human soldiers just continued firing like nothing ever happened.

Okay.

There is no questioning it: this army is mind controlled.

Which means that I only really need to kill the espers. Kill them quickly enough that their forces wont be able to react.

Shrugging to myself, I left my cover and began walking towards them in my human form."H-huh?! A woman? KILL HER!" The same guy as before shouted the instant he saw me.

His mind-slaves turned their weapons on me and shot, yet their bullets found themselves stopped in mid-flight. Then, I promptly dropped them down onto the floor. The espers went wide eyed and the guy received a promptly well-deserved kick to the nuts this time. As he bent over, another male esper came running towards me."You! Who are you?! You arent wearing our uniforms but you are clearly an esper."

I took one look at my tattered clothing and sighed."Really, thats the first thing you ask me?"

To my surprise, the young man took a step back and swallowed down hard, forcing his eyes away from my exposed body."I-our girls may have brought extra clothes, I-I, w-we can g-give them to you if you'd l-like." How incredibly adorable. Maybe I can use this to my advantage?

"There is a clothing store over there which I'm going to raid in a moment but thats not why I'm here. I want to know what the fuck is going on." My stern gaze, combined with my half naked body, was enough to drag the truth out of him."Y-you don't k-know?"

"I assume that you people are from America and have come here to make Europe kneel. I'm a European esper and, as such, I have no idea what is going on." I answered his question with a sly smile as I turned around, a hand of shadow raising behind him and taking a grenade from his belt without him even noticing."I'll be expecting an answer by the time I'm back. Oh and, this is how you throw a grenade, boy."

My shadowy hand popped the thing and rose into the sky, cooking for a few seconds before flinging it into a window. A myriad of screams and flying, bloody limbs could be heard and seen from the now devastated area of the mansion. Sheesh, hope I didn't annihilate Millicia in that blast.. I kinda want to take my time and play with her.

As I walked into the clothing shop to dress myself properly, I couldn't help but overhear what the guy said as his friends approached him from the back."Holy fuck.. I think I'm in love."

Smiling to myself as the shadows coiled around me and the shop, I felt somewhat sorry for the boy.

After all, I'm already taken, right?


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...


Present time... - The Skies Above Berlin - Leonardo's Point Of View...


Having decided that I've spent enough time conducting fascinating science, I once again found myself back on earth. I was... flying in the skies above the battlefield, a mere seventeen meters above my currently soul-less body.

Flying is really just a decent enough term to use here though, as I'm not entirely sure that my current ghost-like self can fly or float. Its more like... standing, in mid-air?

Anyways, thats not important right now. What is important is the fact that there appears to be an immense black cloud of darkness sourrounding my body and preventing anything from coming even remotely close to it.

Is it... protecting me?

Or preventing me from coming back into my body?

Well, only one way to find out!

Perhaps foolishly so, I placed a finger into the blackened mass of smoke and was subsequently consumed by it. Yet, I didn't really sense that anything dangerous was going to happen so I just kinda let things escalate. Within moments, my vision cleared as the shadows split and I found myself inside of...

A bar?

Some kind of wierd, eighties-types that you can often see in old movies. Except, it wasn't full of badly-dressed hookers and bearded gunmen. It was, in fact, full up on people in tuxedos and rich, silken dresses.

W-well, when I say people..."Ey? The fuck is a human doing here? I though you said you wouldn't serve any more o' them, boss." A pale-faced.. imp.

Goat.

DEMON, thing.. no wait thats racist...

Demon, person.

A pale-faced and tiny demon person with goat horns suddenly pointed towards me in utter bewilderment."I'm just as confused as you are." I replied on instinct, causing the imp to do a double take before blinking."Ah, fuck it. I'm too old for this shit. A normal human would be shitting themselves right now so I guess yer here for a reason."

"Even if I was here for a reason, I still have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on." The Imp shrugged, took a vintage ciggarette and lit it as he turned around."Welp, thats not my problem, boy. If ya didn't come here on yer own then someone had'ta summon ya. My advice? Go take a seat an' wait."

A nod was his answer as I walked deeper into the bar, passing by a myriad of strange demon people on my way there. Incredibly enough, nobody here seemed to pay me any mind as I walked.

Then I arrived at the counter. A giant red-skinned demon wearing a butler-like suit and glasses was washing a glass as he turned to look at me."Oh? A new face? Not something that happens very often 'round here. So: what'll it be boy?"

I think hes asking me what I'm going to drink, but thankfully someone else answered for me before I could open my mouth."Give the boy some of that Balkan moonshine, Korix. I hear he likes the heavy drinks."

"Just like you then, eh boss?" The newly named Korix replied with a snort as I turned my head towards the person who answered in my stead. A richly dressed man in a royal purple and black tuxedo.. who had pure-white angel wings on his back. I nearly faceplamed right then and there."Great. This is just what I needed right now."

"Heh. You'd think so, wouldn't you? And I dont even get a thank you for protecting you." I bit my lip at that, he was right."I.. I'm sorry, and thank you, Lucifer."

The man turned towards me to reveal a rather deceptively youthful appearance, one which was almost too beautiful to be true."Apology accepted, but really little brother, how did you manage to just dump your physical body like it was a random street ornament that you no longer need?"

"I-.. I didn't even think th-" He interrupted me."Thats right. You didn't think, because you never really think about anything at all. You just DO." The man rose from his seat, his face twisted in anger and frustration."After all, you said it yourself; why think when you have someone like God to protect you at all times?"

"I didn't say that-" Lucifer sent his arms to his sides in a dramatic fashion before continuing."Oh, is that right? Sorry, you must've THOUGHT it then- WHO CARES!?" He sat back down and promptly beckoned me to do the same by pointing towards the chair next to him."Cmon, lets be civil."

Deciding that defying the real devil may not be the best of ideas, I did as I was told."Ahh, see, if everyone just did that then the world would be perfect." Okay, suddenly I'm feeling just a tad bit pissed off."Oh for fucks sake, does everyone I know have to be a mind-reader?"

Lucifer slapped me on the back lightly."Don't take it to heart, little brother. I'm Satan, reading minds is what I do."

"And corrupting them." A dark, twisted smile was my answer."Ahh, but thats where you are wrong. I don't corrupt people, I just tell them the truth. Truths which they've hidden deep within themselves-"

"Enough. Cut the bullshit, someone like you wouldn't summon me here for shits and giggles." Was my reply as I had seemingly regained my balls. Lucifer seemed to be taken aback."Immunity? So quickly gained?.. impressive. Annoying, too."

He drank whatever alcohol he was drinking in one go before continuing."Too bad for you, I did indeed summon you here for shits and giggles, little brother. I firmly believed that it was high time we met, after all."

"High time? Don't we have like, eternity? Time literally played no part in this, you summoned me here bec-..." I took one look at Lucifers suddenly saddened face and blinked, a flash of white thread forming in my mind as I stopped talking for a moment."He told you the same thing."

"And now I'm the Devil." He let out a snort before pouring himself another drink."Y'know, the resemblance is uncanny. In fact, you are almost TOO alike."

He waved the liquid inside of the glass around."The way you let those espers, my mortal incarnation especially, do all your work for you. You pretend to be good, to be amazing, to be perfection. In the end, what you really are is monsters, the worst kind of monsters. The type that enjoys its dirty work. I think you've managed to perfectly describe it earlier today when you said: God never made itself out to be a hero. No, that is all just human misinterpretation."

"So the viper of Eden really wasn't you, was it?" He shook uncomfortably and turned to face me."Did he tell you that? Or did you somehow deduce this from a random line of thought that had and still has absolutely nothing to do with the actual realization?"

I err..

I didn't really have a reply for this. Lucifer beamed me a smile and turned his head back around."You really are too alike... I don't know how she handles it."

She?

Who is this... she?

"No matter. Thats not what we are here for. Today, you came very close to killing an avatar of mine upon your world, little brother. No, you killed him multiple times, but thanks to that woman, his death was averted." I blinked."Is he.. someone important to you?"

Lucifer coughed into his fist."He is one of my halfbreed children. Really adorable, that boy. Thinks he's me for some reason."

Then he turned back to face me, a grim smile etched to his frame.."Needless to say, I find him interesting enough to keep him alive."

A threat given.."Right. I'll do my best not to kill him next time."

Lucifer blinked in utter confusion."What? Just like that?.. No speech about how fate is the only one who will decide the boys fate or how you'll let him live so long as he does not get in your way?"

Now it was my turn to be completely confused."I-is.. is God going to give me one of those speeches whenever I decide to go against Gods will?"

The devil continued to stare at me for a good two long minutes after that question until I finally cracked."What?!"

That seemed to wake him from his trance as he rose his glass and toasted towards me, my own glass of moonshine floating in front of me and causing me to take it."Y'know, this first meeting of ours may be a horrendous insult to any and all family values, but perhaps I'm wrong about you. Leonardo, was it? Maybe there's a chance we can get along after all."

Shrugging after another moment of utter confusion, I decide to make a toast with the devil."Sure, why the hell not?"


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...


Yes, yes, its fucking 7 AM and I was awake all night, again.

Meh.

Tell me how do you guys love the new Summary? THANK GOD, I FINALLY MANAGED TO GET SOME HELP!

My dashboard is all fixed now. <img src=">


Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A note from Lord Joyde

That review up top?

I will treasure it forever. Very Happy


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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Nolo @Nolo ago

Hey! I'm both exhibit A and B! Yay me and my metaphisical ramblings!

Thanks for the chapter Very Happy

isomin @isomin ago

I am a massive fan of mindfuck stories. The type that makes you question everything you know but in a cheerful and mildly insane way (Or in this case, COMPLETELY INSANE). It feels like I just took the red pill 20 times in quick succession.

 

Thanks for the Chapter anyways.

gaigous @gaigous ago

Lucy is now my favorite character, and not just because he probably has access to all the demoness pun he could possibly want, and now that I know chaos is some kind of horrific fusion of feminism, SJW, and soccer mom, she's my least favorite character.

 

"What kind of city allows people to just build seventh-century mansions in the middle of it all."

Reminded me of this quote:

Yeah, and it’s an absolute clusterfuck. When you go into land in that city, just look out the window, and just look at the complete lack of planning. There's not even zoning laws. They’ll build, like, a skyscraper next to a house, next to a gun range, and then there’s, like, a fucking daycare center. Right? The city doesn’t even work even when everything else works.

- Bill Burr: I'm Sorry You Feel That Way (2014)

 

Meme & Gif Slam!!

When he "connected" with Lucifer it was like:

 

But when he "talked" with god it was like:

 

Hows this for bait?

 

When I read the part about their mansions defenses being excessive I scoffed:

 

Every conflict to me in general, I just don't want to die (unless my "forced retirement" package is epic) and like having nice things:

 

Thanks for the present guy~

 

 

Aselo @Aselo ago

I love this novel xd

loliZ321 @loliZ321 ago

i tried to get memes that fit the chapter but they apperently dont exist so you get these instead

TralliE @TralliE ago

Congratulations on the new review!

Real nice to have Leo back on earth, been a disturbing lack of chaos in the last few chapters. That conversation with Satan fixed things right up.

Dkaepa @Dkaepa ago

for shits and giggles. this is too good XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD