Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How are you all doing?

Great, as soon as I got myself into a writing mood, my cat suddenly began purring a rushed to me literally telling me not to do it yet.

But I must persevere because my head hurts to fucking much from all the prep I've done.

Also some other family related things but its fine.

Anyways, here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Unknown time... - Unknown place... - Leonardo's Point Of View...

I felt my consciousness... waking.

My... my form seemed to be different.



... or perhaps it was natural?

Either way, I could not tell.

I could not even panic or scream, for it appeared that I had no mouth of my own.

Or a body of any kind for that matter.

I just... existed. Floated.


Something fell into me, something physical and heavy, much heavier than whatever I was at the moment. Another thunk as the thing hit the bottom of my being.

Then, a myriad of other things surged forward and seemingly attacked the fallen object. I felt my focus shifting onto these tiny existences and recoiled as they reacted to my actions. Feeling as if they, in all of their countless glory, were just a part of me.

But I knew that they were different, mostly. Thier tiny bodies were made out of unnatural materials, fused together to form tentacled shapes connected to a round, eliptical sphere on top, acting as a form of *head*. A receiver of information... and I was the transmitter?

Unnatural constructs with tentacles and the distinct shape of a squid?

These can only be one thing; nanomachines.

Using my connection to them and getting the same feeling of focus that I get by closing my physical eyes, I felt my control over them expand. Once I felt that I had all of them under my direct command, I sent them to the edges of my being, thus getting a rough map of what I looked like, what I was.

I ... my being appeared to be rather immense. An oval shaped structure with a very uneven bottom and yet, a perfectly smooth upper side, with each flank seemingly being as erratic as the *floor*.

A sense of momentarly confusion filled me as I connected the dots. I appear to have become some kind of lake, filled to the brim with nanomachines. This was clearly the work of Chaos.

Now that thats settled, I still need to figure out why I was here and what exactly was I meant to do? Considering Chaos is involved, it probably has something to do with essence. Speaking of which, whatever liquids my body was made out of seemed to be spewing copious amounts of life-force on a momentary basis...


A body that cangenerate a great amount of life-force?

A bunch of nanomachines reacting to my will?

Taking upon the form of a decently sized lake?

I'm some kind of spawning pool, aren't I.

I have given you enough. You have taken enough. Time to grow on your own.

A calm voice echoed through my mind as Chaos finally decided to make its presence known to me after my last conclusion, which was more of a statement rather than a question.

Your current self is upon a formerly chthonian world that has begun to cool as it finally reached the edge of its stars burning reach. Alongside many others, your first job will be to jumpstart the evolution of life within this solar system.

That's all fine and well but evolution takes a long time, even sped up it would take me eons... then again, time is a funny concept when it comes to Chaos. In a way, Chaos is above the limitations of time, so no matter how long I spend here, I may wake up in my own world mere moments after closing my eyes.

Perhaps I am currently doing just that, as the last thing I remember from the real world is the fact that I leaned into my chair on the plane. Sigh, I suppose that even if it is beyond the reach of time, wasting it is not something Chaos would approve off.

It is the avatar of life, after all. And wasted time pretty much equals wasted life as well. Okay...

Come to think of it, isn't this a kind of dream come true for me? I mean, this isn't that far off from being a primordial ooze, with the exception that I still have to do some work.

Just as I finished my own musings, one of my nanomachines struck an unfamiliar object, yet I could... feel it. It ... it felt like something was touching me.

Touching my skull, to be exact. A mass of nanomachines sourrounded the object and analyzed it to find a large hexagonal crystal which seemed to be breathing essence. My recent training in QI manipulation allowed me to realize that this is my own QI.

Wait, my recent training... what did I learn there again? Oh yeah, the ability to infuse living creatures with my essence and thus, transform them into something more than themselves. Could the same basic principle be used here?... I'm gonna have to ask Aria to fill my brain up with some much-needed knowledge on genetics in order to be successful here, I think.

Anyways, what was that Chaos said again about my sourroundings?

A chthonian world?... erm, if memory serves those are former gas giants whose outer layer/atmosphere has been consumed by its host star, leaving nothing but a mineral rich core behind. A core which is probably as large or perhaps even larger than the earth itself?

Wait, that makes no sense. The core of a gas giant is incredible huge, much larger than any habitable world could possible be. Nothing living could survive on this place duo to its implausible grav-....

I'm supposed to use my psionic powers here, aren't I?

Then again, I'm here to jumpstart the life of *this solar system* and not *this world*. Planets like this tend to be rather rocky, with incredible mineral compositions all over the place, a perfect factory for aspiring would-be-life-giving asteroids. Asteroids which I will probably need to propell in the right direction by the use of my psionic powers.

Huh... this is gonna be a challenge, isn't it?

One of the first things in my life which cannot be solved by punching or brute force in general. In fact, all this thinking is.. nice, for a change. However, I have to admit that every second I spend idling here makes me feel like a cook told to operate a CNC machine. In other words, I have no fucking idea where or how to even begin!

AND I DONT LIKE FEELING STUPID, thank you very much!

I felt my body shake as the nanomachines reacted to my instinctual motion, that is to say the "shaking of ones head out of a stupor", causing several ripples to form. One of the moving nanomachines struck the fallen object which had piqued my curiosity in the first place, which caused me to immidiatelly analyze it.

And feel even stupider for doing so... I mean, what the hell did I expect? It was just a stupid rock. A chuck of basa-... of basalt.


That means lava. Lava which is very, very close by.

Then again, this is a chthonian planet, what the hell did I expect?

Still, this makes me feel... uneasy. If lava is so close to me that a piece of fresh basalt can fall into me can only mean that I may very well be in danger of evaporating. Contrary to popular belief, lava does not actually need to be put into water in order to evaporate it. While it wont instantaneously evaporate, a small vein of flowing magma can eventually dry out an entire lake, provided that it does not solidify first.

And I don't feel like wasting my own body away in order to defend myself from rampant magma.

Extending my mental reach towards all of my available nanomachines, the total number of which eluded me still, I made them join together to from a pseudo-hand and picked up the rock, throwing it upwards and out of myself, only for the rock to nearly immidiatelly fall back down onto me, slamming against my makeshift arm and causing my nanomachines to scatter.

Hmm, this can only mean that I have some kind of rocky roof over my head. Something hard enough to not be even remotely scratched by me throwing a piece of basalt into it. My best guess? A slab of iron, purified by the residual heat of its sourroundings and made to conviniently fall on top of me by Chaos in order to protect me from what I can only assume is an ocean of magma on the planets surface. This means that my current enviroment is some kind of miniature cave.

Or perhaps I was literally a pool of water stuck below a massive slab of mineral-infused rock and.. well, more rock. Great, so I'm trapped in here for the time being.

Uhh, maybe my nanomachines can dig a way out? And even if they can, ... should I?

Please don't.

The fact Chaos responded to me made the fluids of my new body swirl, as I chuckled at the stupidity of my starting location.

Oh well, life is meant to struggle in order to achive the right to exist, no?

Still, what kind of life am I meant to create that can survive the hellish conditions of this planet, much less the atrocity that is outer space? I mean, sure I could form an asteroid of pure metal and carbon once I manage to detect a vein of each and fill its core with microbe- wait, isn't this the same as that one unpopular theory of how life began on earth?

Hmm, perhaps I should watch some videos on Genesis once I wake up from this place.

Aria has been modifying my DNA for a long time now, hasn't she? Perhaps I could learn a few things from her?

So much to do...

Anyways, I reached out to my nanomachines once again and finally analyzed the liquids I was made of... only to find out that I was little more than a massive pool of my own fucking DNA.

The life which you create here will be your own progeny. Like you are to me and I am to Life itself, the living things born of this pool shall be connected to you, bound to return to the whole upon the end of their life-cycle, feeding you all the energies which they had gathered up to that point and thus, allowing you to create even more life from their sacrifice.

This is the purpose of Chaos. We, my children and I, are the progenitors and curators of all life. You are one of us, time to do your part.


To say that I am currently stupefied would be beyond a simple understatement. I ... I always thought that Chaos and Life are one and the same?

Guess not.

Then again, it makes sense when I think about it. Life itself is an immensely powerful entity, comprised of an infinite amount of others, each descended from itself, bound to one day return to it and fuel the creation of even more life.

The entity of *Chaos*, is nothing more than the brains behind that cycle. Chaos is the smith, the designer, the artist... but not the metal, the cloth, the canvas itself. It is up to us to use our power over Life to shape it and feed the endless cycle as its curators.

But this all begs the question... what came before life? What does it orginate from? How did it all begin?

And, perhaps the most important question of all, what or who the hell is Chaos?

Who is this entity that speaks to me occassionally?

Who can also stand on equal grounds with God?

With Lucifer?

With Gaia?

... naturally, the thing refuses to answer me, for that would just be far too simple, wouldn't it?


A voice thundered across my thoughts and I felt myself falter, the genetic pool sloshing around and covering the rocky walls sourrounding me. The tone sounded not angry, but annoyed at me, as if I was supposed to already know the answers... well, guess what, I fucking dont!

And perfection? What exactly does that even mean? Is it an answer to one of my questions? If so, which one?

To all of them? Nah, fuck that.

What came before life? Perfection!

Who is Chaos? Perfection!

Who is equal to the other implausible shits? MOTHERFUCKING PERFECTION!


Thats fucking right, you little bastard. Better stay quiet and shove it all onto my poor, mortal brain in hopes that I might comprehend it. You know what? I think this has been looooooooooooooooooong overdue, my dear, dear Chaos.

Because even when my supposed enemy, that is to say Gaia herself, was capable of at least ATTEMPTING TO EXPLAIN shit properly, you know, COMPREHENSIBLY to me, YOU STILL DONT.

So, you know what, you glorious piece of galactic shit?

Go fuck yourself.


What? Got nothing to say for yourself, you galactic turd?


I thought so.

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, thinking about exactly what kind of superhuman life-form could survive the dreadfull conditions on this planetary object. Perhaps some ki-

Moments afterwards... - Back in the real World - Leonardo's Point Of View...

"WHOAH!" I exclaimed as I felt my consciousness being catapulted across all of space and time and back into my mortal body, causing me fall right out of my chair, breaking the cord which held me in place and vomiting everything I ever ate onto the floor in the span of a single fucking second."WHOA-EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! What the fuck, man?"

And promptly blast my cousin, teacher Hui and Mislav with what was basically a litre of projectile vomit."Ugh... I don't feel too good."

Shaking my head out of my stupor, I promptly rushed towards the nearest window and opened it, causing a gust of wind to blow into my face and forcing me to hold back my own vomit, the stench of which caused me to vomit even more into my mouth and force what I had tried to hold back right out of my mouth....

And onto my face, as the wind blew it all in the opposite direction.

After a couple more seconds of projectile vomiting myself, I promptly let myself fall head first onto the floor, not even caring that my hair was fully coated in the aforementioned lurch."Erm... you okay there boss?"

"Do I look okay to you, you bloody twat?" My tone clearly indicated that I was massively pissed at the moment, yet my inner rage was nothing in comparison to the awkwardness which filled my current being. Sighing out loudly as Tyrone continued blinking in confusion, everyone around me more than a little bit stupefied, I stood up and gathered up all of my mess with psionics before proceeding to throw them out of the same window I opened moments before."Ugh... I want all of you to remember to remind me to never tell Chaos to, ahem; go fuck itself, while my real body is on a plane."

You WHAT?!

Aria's scream was muffled out by Yomi's increasingly audible laughter, as several images of her rolling on whatever imagnary floor exists within my mind forced themselves into my vision."Erm.. okay?" Tyrone seemed to be questioning his own existence right now and the others weren't much better off.

"Look... its best that you just dont ask. And uh, apologies to Hui, Mislav and Momori for... projectile vomiting on you guys." The trio appeared to be having the worst day of their entire lives, each with their own selective reactions.

Mislav appears to have been so shocked by the event that he passed out, with drool falling out of his mouth in disgust.

Momori did not respond verbally, his twitching body being the only indication that he wasn't some kind of human statue.

And Hui... kept looking at his own arms, each of which pulsed with divine energy."I... I have never felt this kind of.. humiliation. Not even when my enemies tried to castrate me."

I firmly decided not to continue this conversation in an effort to preserve my own sanity... well, what little is left of it, anyways.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

And that it is for this chapter of Euphoria!

If you cant tell, this is a light-hearted one just to balance out the last chapter.


I must admit I had fun typing this down.

As usual, I shall remain online for some more time to respond to reviews and edit out my mistakes!

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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loliZ321 @loliZ321 ago

ok so chaos isn't life big deal madness can still be death right

Aervia @Aervia ago

*chuckles* light-hearted.. after your last chapter, The Walking Dead can be considered light-hearted. Anyway thanks for the chapter! Keep at it!

Derwipe @Derwipe ago

Thanks for the chapter and now my sides hurt because i laughed too much


WasteAge @WasteAge ago

thanks for the chapter i had a good laught at it. I am looking forward to this power he will get from creating life, but when he dose will that not make him a god ?

ZhangY @ZhangY ago

1-Asks a primordial being to go fuck itself.

2-Opens a window on a plane.

3-Throws up facing a strong wind.

Shares his feelings about 1 and 3, doesn't see 2 as worth mentioning whatsoever.

I agree! Opening a window on a plane is plain suicide? Bitch please, people don't even speak about their successful suicide.

gaigous @gaigous ago

Chaos seems to be a huge fan of the Tom Cruise approach to teaching.


    Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

    More like; a sad excuse of a parent who has divorced from the other parent in order to live a life of hedonism.

    Sad fact; the chaos in this story is inspired by someone in my life XD

      gaigous @gaigous ago

      For what it's worth you have my sympathies, I'm no stranger to fucked up family drama.

      Hedonism isn't really sustainable outside of fantasy, now if we had some actual VR or a magical genie, then I'd jump into the lifestyle head first with zero regrets, and society can kiss my pasty white ass.

      Sometimes I think the fight club speech had some real wisdom in it.


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

      Family drama, eh?

      Yeah, thats about right.

323kiki @323kiki ago

Izvrsna priča stari moj. Svaka čast! Puno sreće s faksom Wink

Moobles @Moobles ago

Well it appears that I'm late to the party. Either way reading this is so much fun, but I don't get why he's so mad, Chaos is basically giving him a chance to massively power-up and become a part of an ancient cycle of birth and rebirth... And he's all like "fuck you mom, I don't get it! I wanted a playstation!" Though I suppose the answer was expected from a person who has problems sitting down and just doing one thing.


    Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago


    EDIT: Holy shite, it must've been really late in the night for me to reply to this comment with an "XD".


    Though, I suppose there isn't much else to say... and I see your point, Leonardo is kind of a spoiled brat, but also kind of a grown adult whose parent has realized their growing independence and is now trying to regain control of their childs life.