Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How are you all doing?

Erm, hi.

I don't really have anything to say here so eh.

This chapter is gonna be halfway superb and halfway borefest. I'll let you guys decide which part is which.

Anyways, here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you will enjoy, let us begin!

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Meanwhile... - Somewhere beneath Tokyo City - Secret Underground Laboratory - Ashura's Point Of View...


"Aaaaaa-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!" I screamed out at the top of my lungs as tears immidiatelly started flooding my sight."HOLY FUCKING SHIT! THE SUBJECT!" An unknown voice echoed throughout the room I was in as the sheer fury of the thing tore through my skull.

"Q-quick, call the doctor!" Another exclaimed as I felt several hands pushing me back down as I attempted to stand up... no, to get off of.. something.

A brief flash of imagery revealed my current location as my vision managed to return albeit briefly."W-w-whats going on?! W-w-where am I!?" I yelled out into the room as I instinctively backhanded a dude to my right, sending his body flying with such force that it crashed across the wall in a show of brutality and blood.

This stunned me and the masked men trying to push me down. Bile rose up from my throat."Ugh!" I vomited down onto the sterilized floor tiles as I fell down, splashing into the mixture of vomit and gore as I did."What is going on here?"

A person with a distinctive germanic accent rushed into the room and scowled as he saw me and the splatter on the wall. He took out a needle of some kind and plunged it into my neck before I could react. How the hell did this... eighty year old man move so fast?

... wait...

Somethings happening..

My heart rate is slowing down."Are you calmer now, boy?"

I swallowed and looked back at the splattered corpse, feeling nothing at all."I... I guess..."

The german scientist nodded towards me and sent a few quick symbols to the others around us."Clean that shit up."

"Yes, sir!" They immidiatelly complied to the orders, despite the fact that the man I just killed was their coworker a minute ago. Oh fuck, I'm in the base of some fucking evil organization, aren't I?!"W-where am I?"

"Classified. And you do not need to know, anyways. Come. We have much to discuss." I blinked in momentary confusion as I dragged myself out of the splatter and approached the old man."Okay then... can you at least tell me your name?"

The old man smiled savagely."Eugen, Eugen Fischer." My eyes widened in recognition at the name, yet doubt coiled around my mind."Yeah, right. And I'm fucking Cleopatra in disguise."

He hummed in throught."No, you are sadly not. You are far too ugly to be her, but your genes may aid me in one day ensuring the birth of such a woman. Perhaps many of their kind."

I tilted my head in confusion."Excuse me?"

He laughed at me as we walked through the stale-colored corridors of whatever madhouse this place was. Eventually, we reached what appeared to be the mans own personal laboratory... it was more like a mausoleum if you ask me, though."Pretty? Are they not? Clean, sparkling even!"

Gritting my teeth and biting back a rebuttal of disgust as the man rose one of the many skulls and human bones for me to see. True, the skulls seemed to shine beneath the white light which filled the place...


"UGH!" I fell onto my knees as the fucking thing screamed into my head once again."Oh? Another headache? My examinations did not reveal anything wrong with your head, young man. So what might these be about?"

Swallowing down hard and taking a long look at the man, I snorted."You wouldn't believe me even if I told you, you fucking Nazi."


"ARGH! FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF- UGH!" Slamming my fist against one of the nearby desk, I promptly shattered quite a bit of the mans equipment, exposing the fact that he was experimenting with some kind of strange, crimson liquid which boiled the very air around it."W-w-what..."

Muttering out in horror as I finally noticed the severed limbs, a leg and an arm, which fell down onto the ground alongside the liquid, I found myself at an utter loss for words.

But a second look gave me pause and, dare I say it, hope."A-a-are these... Antiochs?"

The doctor snarled in anger."YES! They are indeed! But you should refrain from damaging my laboratory any further unless you wish to end up like the other test subjects I bring in here!" He pointed to his left and I looked there on instinct, only for bile to rise in my throat as a black man was impaled onto a wall, Da Vinci style.

He had a great many markings etched into his skin, things of unknown and yet, clearly scientific origin.

I bit down my disgust."W-w-what do you want from me?!"

The doctor grinned with the bloodthirst of an animal."I need you to help me."

"Do what exactly? Become some sort of living weapon? A genetic test subject?" I asked the doctor, who merely nodded."Both of those and more. Though, I had hoped that you would be more compliant to my designs considering that I healed your arm..."

I finally noticed the fact that my arm was in fact back where it belonged, having been annihilated by Antioch..."How long was I out?"

"Several days, but that is unimportant. Now, answer my question boy: What is wrong with your head?" He repeated his former question as I swallowed down hard and sat upon a nearby chair.


Gritting my teeth in anger as the thing screamed into my thoughts once more, I felt my courage rise and my heart cool with growing, festering hatred. The thing... it obviously does not want me to converse to this man. That, makes him my best fucking friend."A-.. do you believe in demons, doctor?"

A beaming smile adorned the mans pale face."I do not believe in anything but science, young man. Your existence is proof enough that nothing else is required to comprehend the world!"

Now this made me pause."What do you mean by that?"

He rose from his chair which I did not even notice him sitting onto and turned on a computer screen. The familiar 3D image of a DNA strand came into view... but it was different from the normal human one."Is that an ape's DNA?"

I asked, causing the man to snort."No, young man. Its yours."

I blinked and sighed, yet to my surprise, the doctor replied with a smile."Though, you must have made the observation because you do know what human DNA looks like and the image is... similar, yet different."

"So what the hell am I? Since I'm here and not in some hospital, I can only assume that you know about my powers... Can you tell me what I am?" The doctor grinned again."Simple really, you are just a human being."

"Bullshit. I'm an alien or something, some kinda out-of-this world kinda guy.. I appreciate the sentiment but I can't be human, doctor." I explained with a deep sigh as his grin seemed to grow larger, as if that was even possible."But thats the beauty of it all! Your DNA is indeed human... just... evolved."

"Huh?" Appearing genuinely confused once more, the doctor moved to take a wooden stick of some kind and pointed towards a larger screen as he showed me the same image except bigger."You see, what tiny differences your DNA has to that of a regular human being are things that we all have within us. You were merely born with them being... active. This proves that you are part of the superior race!"

He exclaimed ecstatically."Wait, so you mean that everybody has what makes me... me?"

"In a way, yes. However, the DNA needed to posess the same strength that you have is inactive and part of the so-called JUNK DNA. Hah, whomever named it as such is an idiot!" He pushed another picture onto the screen."As you can see, your DNA seems to be rather discolored. This is caused by one of its newly active functions, well new to us normal people anyway. This piece of DNA here rewrote the formation of your heart, muscle and bone structure."

"My heart?" I asked in confusion. I mean, I get that I couldn't be this strong without muscle and good bones to support that muscle but... heart? The doctor smiled again as the replied."Indeed! The heart is the strongest muscle, after all!"

He switched the screen to show another image, this time that of a seemingly human heart... that is if it wasn't spewing burning blood, like the severed limbs on the ground."So I really am... the same as that fucker..." A quick look at the limbs of Antioch which still lay prone on the ground made the scientist scowl at me."Pay attention, young man!"

I turned back around with a scowl of my own."Whats the fucking point? Just ... just tell me what you want from me already!"

He blinked and nodded."Oh, well okay then. I thought you needed more convincin-"

"I only need to know one thing; are you going to help me kill Antioch if I help you do whatever the fuck you wanna do?" I asked the shocked man and felt myself growing colder and colder as the moments of silence went by.

"Eeeh... rather than killing him, I'd much rather want to turn him and his... female friend, into test subjects for the betterment of mankind! However, the tests I have planned for them are quite.. painful." He replied to me and I nodded."But once they're no longer useful, you will help me kill them."

He blinked."Well sure. Useless subjects are to be disposed off, after all!"

"Okay then, one last question... Since you are a Nazi who is around one fourty years old, can you tell me how you managed to keep yourself alive for so long?" I asked him as he nodded in approval."My secret lies with cybernetic implants, genetic manipulation and cellular restoration. But why do you wish to know this? You do not look like you are going to die anytime soon."

I swallowed down hard."Thats where you are wrong doc... remember when I asked if you believed in demons? I have one inside of my head and it just told me that its going to kill me."

"Then I will do my best to prevent that so long as you serve me well." He replied with a raised eyebrow, not quite believing what I just told him. Whatever, I don't need his faith, I need his help."One more thing, doc. When Antioch kicked my arse into the ground... he gave me a gold pill of some kind. Where is it?"

"I am currently studying it. Why?" I grinned towards him."Well, if Antioch's word can be trusted, that pill is supposed to make me strong enough to be his equal."

Now that, garnered his full attention."Oh? Is that so?..."

He turned towards his left and onto what appeared to be a test tube with the aforementioned pill inside."Then I seem to have gained a new priority on my list of things to do."

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Sorry, lunch time and I'm very hungry.

See you in a bit, might add another chapter today to finish this off.

This was the boring part, the next one has AUDREY.

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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ultimakage @ultimakage ago

Thank you for the chapter.


Also First

loliZ321 @loliZ321 ago

it figures that you would update on the day i have duty work internet is not conductive for pictures

CrimsonWarden @CrimsonWarden ago

NO!!!! My streak is broken.....

No Derwipe yet?

Derwipe @Derwipe ago

Thx for the chapter i want to read the next but cant got wasted yesterday and im still fked

Slayersky123 @Slayersky123 ago

These two are in way over their heads. They're practically messing with gods now.

gaigous @gaigous ago

Oh! So that guys Ashura, Sometimes I suck at paying attention lol

Hot pink haired goth chick incoming!

Meme Time!

My feelings 80% of the time on this site

Hippies would be one of the easiest people to conquer.

Leo's Lifeblood in a nutshell.

Fake vegetarians are the real reason they're going to evacuate the earth.


P.S Sorry for the lack of comments lately, The lazy train made a very convincing argument~


    Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

    Well, at least you didn't go like: WHO DIS

    and then I'd have to be all like: FUQ U

    ZhangY @ZhangY ago

    Me reading the Facebook dialogue:

    "If you eat any animal your" ლಠ益ಠ)ლ *you're

    "If you eat any animal you're  there for" (・ω・`)………..(´・ω・) "not a vegetarian."

    "your there for not" (・ω・`)………..(´・ω・) "you're not there for"





    (´・ω・)o⌐                              (´・ㅁ・)(◕ㅁ◕✿) "Vegetarians don't eat meat."              

    (´ಠ益ಠ)o⌐✴                        Σ(・口・)(◕ㅁ◕✿) "Chicken isn-"

    (´ಠωಠ)o⌐✴                         _(°皿-)(゜ロ゜✿)

    (´・ω・)o⌐✴                        __(_ _)(_ _✿)____






    "you're therefore"

ZhangY @ZhangY ago

This is time for some more Nazi comparison cancer and sarcasm!

Nazi: I exterminate impure races.

Cultivator: I exterminate impure races AND whole degenerate families AND enemy clans AND I can refine my own purity AND I HAVE SUPER POWERS.

Nazi: GG U Я0XX0Я M8 U mI l!f m0dL.


    Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

    I... have no idea wtf you just said in that last one.

      ZhangY @ZhangY ago

      This was just me being sarcastic and giving people cancer. Translate it by: you rock mate.

      Spoiler: Spoiler


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago


      Well, thank you! ... though I have to warn you I'm not the best life model around XD

      Derwipe @Derwipe ago

      some times i ask myselfe if we got all the mental people here in joyde's comment section xD

      (Dw i would be one too Very Happy)


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

      Here's one of my trade secrets: most, if not ALL of Euphoria and Infernal's side characters are inspired by my interactions with you guys and girls.

      Take from that what you will.

      Derwipe @Derwipe ago

      ok that explains it all xD


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago


      Needless to say, we are all mad here. I'm just the one channeling that raw, pure insanity to where it needs to be! Very Happy

      ZhangY @ZhangY ago


      ║ Please select a choice:______________________________________________________________

      ║     Clear misunderstanding (interlocutor will no longer think you are mad)_________

      ║►  Add misunderstanding (no benefit will be obtained)__________╔═══════════════════════════╗                     

      ╚══════════════════════════════════════════║ Confirm?________________________________

      ____________________________________________________________________║    No (the only reasonable choice)_______

      ____________________________________________________________________║► Yes (the choice you don't want)_______



      He's my life model I tell ya. I'm in his story ya know! I'm the MC grandson ya hear. I'm not no insane man ya get it? Don't mess with plants or I'll plant my fist in ya face and shove it till ya eat dirt!


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

      So basically you are a straight young man who has a gardening hobby that he really enjoys but is really conscious about, thus causing him/you to react violently whenever someone asks about it because deep inside you know that its ga-*cough*, perfectly normal and manly for a manly man, such as yourself, oh manly man you, to do!

      Yes, this is what I got from your last couple sentences.

      ZhangY @ZhangY ago

      (XD Oh, I meant that? Well...)

      ►  Add misunderstanding (no benefit will be obtained)

      MC grandchild - the AI child - is a flower so what? What's not manly enough about gardening and identifying oneself to a flower?

      ►  Add misunderstanding (no benefit will be obtained)

      Did you know that flowers act as plant genitals? You offered genitals to your mama on mother's day!

      ►  Add misunderstanding (no benefit will be obtained)

      Lots of people act like dicks AND act like pussies AND are often quite vegetative: that makes them flowers too!

      ►  Add misunderstanding (no benefit will be obtained)

      Being a flower is normal I tell ya! Don't lie to yourself

      ✿ ͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕).☆.。.:*・° because you're a flower too.


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

      I guess its a good thing I don't celebrate mothers day then...

      Oh, and genitals you say? If you don't mind, I'm gonna print screen this comment and put it on a piece of paper and then stick it into the next bouquet of flowers I get my girlfiend. XD

      DomiKing @DomiKing ago

      i love this comment section

      it kinda reminds me of wonderland cause as the mad hatter once said we are all mad here


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

      You're the madmen...

      I'm the train, motherfucker! Very Happy

Max Scherer @Max Scherer ago

Ahhh the good old German Nazi as enemy! I could have gueesed that this would happen. Well lets hope that Leos Sister isnt going to get into the Hand of Eugene... It would surely be really funny when Leo will then turn Eugene into a huge mess, but i like Yuno(?) far to much for that to happen