Advertisement
Remove
Settings

Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How are you all doing?


"Fellow madmen, rejoice! Joyde delivers you a steaming hot world burning in flames.

There is blood, lemon, and chaos. He picks on you in every single chapter - with every linebreak!"

XD

You might be wondering what this is. Lemme tell you, its a delicious portion from Euphoria's latest review!

OMFG JOYDE IS TALKING ABOUT A REVIEW AND IS NOT BEING SALTY THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!!!

You may be thinking this as well and I wouldn't blame you. Thing is, his review kind of hits the damn point of the story perfectly. So, if two or three of you guys could go and give it a like to get it up to front page that'd be amazing, thank you!

Kudos to Derwipe for taking the lead! Very Happy

Anyways, here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...


The following morning... - Private Jet - Leonardo's Point Of View...


"I WILL BREAK YOUR WORLD AND REMAKE MY OWN!" A terrible scream thundered through my head as our jet flew across Russian territory. I could feel it echoing through my bones."B-boss!? You feel that shit?"

Tyrone asked in a somewhat panicked tone as he rushed to a nearby window to look below... only to find the typical emptyness and snow which one could expect from Siberia."Hmmm, looks like the centipede has chosen his assault point."

Muttering out in annoyance much to the confusion of my peers, I turn towards their still-shocked frames and answer their unsaid questions."One of the things which I have to protect our world from is a gigantic, eldritch centipede. It, like me, is a child of Chaos. However it is also the representation of what would happen should I fail."

Tyrone swallowed down hard."So our enemy is a fucking C'thulu wannabe?"

"One of them, yeah." Belle sighed somewhat tiredly as Mislav chuckled."Well, nobody ever said that this would be easy... but for one of our own to be an enemy, there must be a good reason for it, right?"

A nod from me was his answer."By devouring our world, his gets a second chance at life."

"And if we beat him, we live but his own world dies forever?" My newest ally and cousin Momori, asked with a quirked eyebrow. His right hand tightened around his katana as he already knew the answer, supposedly.

Thankfully, I had another idea in mind."His world maybe, but not his race."

Now that got Hui Jun's attention."Do you plan on resurrecting them?" The divine cultivator asked, somewhat confused."Its more like I'm willing to try. I mean, much of the power granted by Chaos comes from genetics. Taking that into account, the Centipede should be made out of the genes of everything its world had to offer. If we can beat it down and properly experiment on it, given time we should be able to restore everything it ate."

"But doing that would reveal us to the world, wouldn't it?" Belle raised another eyebrow directed towards me as I grinned."I never said we would remain hidden for long. This world is on its death throes, no matter which way you look. Its time for us all to accept reality and stop living in delusion."

"Ironic, hearing that from someone who is basically the definition of insanity." Momori replied with an anime-like sweat drop, causing me to give out a merry laugh."I guess thats true."

"Master, while resurrecting an alien race or many of them is a noble goal, don't you think it might cause our world to be.. overexploited?" I grinned towards him and nodded."I don't think it might, it will. And thats one of the benefits... as much as I can understand, our presence here is what prevents Gaia from breaking free. Naturally, this made me come to the conclusion that each person consumes a small piece of her power. If we increase the amount of population, our time limit would be extended."

"Gaia? Wait, aren't you supposed to be like, a prophet of hers or something?" Tyrone asked again, yet his tone did not carry confusion, more like revelation."No Tyrone, that was just a mistake I made back when my connection to Chaos was still weak. In truth, its the opposite. I'm her enemy."

"You.. were not born to this power, child?" Hui asked me in a strange tone."I ... well, I guess I was born to it. Its just that... It just wasn't awakened within me until recently."

"How recently are we talking about here, child?" He asked again, this time in a tone indicating fear. I wonder why?

Turning to look at Tyrone with an inquisitive glance, I found him rising his hands up in obliviousness."Dunno boss.. couple of weeks, I'd guess?"

He answers my unsaid question and I nod as I turned back towards Hui."Its been... maybe a month now? I'm honestly not really sure."

"If that is true, then your progress is... frighteningly astonishing." A compliment? How odd."Hui, you've been acting strange for a while now, why is that?"

He exhaled harshly and sighed right afterwards."... Its nothing. Its just that, when a humans power raises this quickly, it usually has immense costs. Pain or sanity are the most common prices to pay, but sometimes... Life."

His grim answer made me pause. My cells have been regenerating like crazy for a while now... how long do I have left to life? Wait, wasn't I a revenant?"Don't revenants live forever?"

I turned towards Anna and Belle for my answer, but they both sighed and shook their heads."Master, that assumption is indeed true but... a revenant only achieves true eternity when their connection to Death reaches its peak. You... are far too alive to even consider such a thing."

"So then I might be dying sometime soon, eh?" I let out a breath. Death... a creeping cold shiver ran up and down my spine before I shook my head out of my stupor."Well, if I die soon or not isn't really my problem. After all, I have the eyes of not one, but two Implausible Powers on me right now. If I am required to live, then I will. If I need to die, then I will die. Simple as that."

"How quickly you accept your own fate, grim as it is." Mislav said with a darkened tone."No fear of the end, eh? You'd make a fine Demon King." Anna jokingly said as I quirked an eyebrow at her."Demon King? You mean like, the regent of all Inhumans or something? Those exist within our world?"

Belle quickly waved her right hand in negative."Nope. Those are just silly stories. Ever since humans made Demon Kings up though, there were those among the Inhumans who tried to assert themselves as Demon Kings or Queens, but they were quickly destroyed by the xenophobia of the many species within the Inhuman world."

"Xenophobia exists even amongst Inhumans?... why am I not surprised." I let out a massive sigh as my eyes suddenly twisted towards Yomi's coffin."I wonder how your resurrection will fly among the Inhuman populace, Yomi."

"It wont. Not by the younger generations who will fear me for my power and most definitely not by those who remember me for my actions. I am, after all, Yomi Of The Funeral March." She promptly shattered any sort of Illusion I had about the Inhuman population of this world. They're really no different from their human counterparts... though, I suppose that just makes them even closer to normal people than anything else possibly could.

"Oy boss, I have a question!" Tyrone suddenly exclaimed as he started digging through our luggage, eventually dragging out ... a flower."What the fuck is this?"

A very familiar flower."Uhmm.." Mislav rubbed the back of his head, apparently ashamed of himself."Ah, I may have forgotten to mention this but... well, this flower marks the first time you ever infused something with your essence that wasn't a sentient creature. Something inside of me just couldn't let it burn with the rest of the mansion."

It was a rather large, bright red rose which seemed not to have any thorns at all."A thornless rose?" I quirked an eyebrow as Hui Jun approached the thing. Instead of the spreading vines, the things protrusions appeared closer to tendrils, skinless tendrills that is. It had no outer layer, just raw plant-flesh.

This thing was a part of Chaos then?

No. You.

Chaos' toneless, voiceless voice echoed inside of my mind, causing me to blink at the revelation. This rose, infected by my essence, has been transformed into an.. extension, of myself. Blinking in confusion and surprise, I instinctively attempt to create a psionic connection to the rose but suffer a backlash pulse as the rose... well, it had no brain of its own.

What it does have however, is a rudimentary nervous and mana circulation system. Approaching the rose and touching its rather meaty bits, I quickly find out that the thing has a rather minor but thick amount of essence. Oh yeah, plants are alive, after all.

Yet, it does not appear to have a soul of its own... Its just, a living entity. Imperfect and much lower on the evolutionary scale than a sentient being, but still just as alive."Its a rose I infused with my power." Finally, I responded to Tyrone with a smirk."Really? Well why don't we give it a name then?"

"A name?" I asked him as Belle and Anna nodded fiercely, apparently finding the flower breathtaking for some reason."That rose smells really, really good! Its an entirely new breed of rose!"

"You should totally give it a name, master!" Anna exclaimed as she touched one of the tendrils sprouting from the rose and sniffed it. Though she may not have noticed it, my connection to the rose allowed me to feel what was happening in a very intimate manner. The moment Anna's nose came into striking distance, the rose expunged pheromeones and spores of some kind, infusing and infecting Anna... however, as soon as the rose realized that Anna was already infected, the spores and pheromones fell back down onto it.

It can recycle."If you weren't already infected by my blood Anna, then that sniff might've killed you. Or infected you with the same retrovirus my blood mimics." I deadpanned her as her eyes went wide in surprise."So.. the rose can infect people with Chaos?"

Hui Jun approached it and touched the rose, causing it to blast him much the same way it did to Anna... Only for his body to evaporate the pheromones and spores before they could reach him. The rose seemed to lower its flower down, almost as if dissppointed with itself."W-well now, this is... diffrent."

"Whats wrong, Hui?" I asked him as he blinked, still staring that the Chaos Rose with wide eyes."Erm, nothing. I just felt like the flower was suddenly dissappointed by something."

I laughed at him, causing the man to tilt his head in confusion."Thats because it was. It tried to infect you, but your body's natural defenses pummeled the infection before it could even reach you."

He nodded in recognition."Ah, that makes sense. Would the same thing happen if you were to offer me your blood?"

"Considering how I instinctively offered it to everyone other than you so far, I'd say thats an accurate assessment." Was my rather simplictic reply as I turned back towards the rose with a frown."Now then, what to do with you?"

Father, if I may interrupt your musings, I may have an idea what to do with the rose.

By the way, could we name it; The Caedean Rose?

 "Aria? Sure, what do you want to do with it? And... Caedean Rose, huh?" I muttered out suddenly as I turned my head upwards, causing most people to make an ooh sound and Tyrone to just wave his hands around in mock anger."Ah fuck you all mind-readers, I WANNA KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON TOO, DAMMIT!"

Belle approached him with a smile as she placed a hand onto his shoulder."I know that feel, bro. Mind-readers are cheats."

"Yeah, bro!" Then they hugged. And most of us others nearly barfed in unison.

Anyway, shaking my head out of my stupor, I asked."Aria? You okay there, darling?"

I uh..

I'm fine.

Anyways, where was I?

Oh yeah, what to do with the rose uh, I was wondering if you could let me make another VI-chip.... you know, the one I made for Alice?

Except this one would take over the rose as the dominant personality, essentially acting as its brain.

 "I see. You want to replicate yourself and use the rose as the body for the clone?" To my surprise, Aria sent me a negative response.

I'm not going to clone myself.

I'm going to write an entirely new VI. One which may or may not one day become sentient, but until that time comes, it will serve as the brains behind the rose. Its power, while still tiny, can eventually grow to be quite useful. Just imagine it if we could grow a few more of them, put easily-controllable VI inside of them and use those to infect entire cities at once!

 "You want to.. weaponize the rose? I guess thats why you want it to be named The Rose Of Slaughter...." What a cruel fate for it, but I couldn't have thought up anything better myself. I nodded affirmatively."Okay then... but how are you going to do this?"

Please raise your right hand, father.

 "Okay?" Rising my right hand up caused me to wince in pain as tendrils of blood burst out of my flesh, weaving together what looked like some kind of fabricator."Woah, what the hell, boss?"

"Don't ask me, this is Aria's doing..." I replied to Tyrone as everyone watched in amazement as the makeshift machine which was half organic and half synthetic glowed a hot orange. I grit my teeth as I felt my own flesh burning, countless varying materials ripping through my veins as they attempted to reach their destinations.

"C-could you hurry this up, darling? Its making me a bit... uncomfortable." I asked with a bit of sweat on my brow.

Almost done... there!

 A bright flash of light erupted from the fabrication machine and suddenly the construct retreated back into me.. well the materials it was made of did, anyway. And there, after everything else went back in, stood a single bio-chip much like the one I first placed into myself when Aria was given to me.

Except it shone the same bright red that the Rose did, the materials it was made of brimming with pure Chaos Energy.. Energy which did not belong to me.

Thats because its mine.

Since I already knew how to detect and make use of yours, finding my own was a piece of cake!

 "I see.. so you want me to put this into the pot?" An affirmate nod was sent to my thoughts and I wordlessly placed it into the earth around the rose, causing the flower to reach for the biochip, only for the many nanomachines contained within the biochip to make a hostile takeover of the rose's weak nervous system, effectively taking its body as their own."So Aria, now that you've become a mom, what are you gonna name your kid?" Tyrone jokingly spoke into thin air.

Aria's reaction however, was so cute that I felt pity for Tyrone since he couldn't hear it.

W-W-W-W-W-WHAT?!

ME!? A MOM?

I UH... well, I... I guess...

Urghm...

Name, I-uh, name name name?!

I...

Her flustered self was currently frantically turning and twisting in my mind, which caused me to laugh and Maxima to chuckle."Oh my... So many google tabs suddenly opened: Best baby names, most popular parenting tactics, I'm a mom now; SEND HELP! etc, etc."

The entire plane burst into laughter."That was surprisingly effective." I complimented Tyrone and sent him a thumbs up as the dude merely rose a beer in response, apparently very proud of himself."So Aria, whats our grandchilds name?"

Yomi mused in my mind, causing me to smile as I looked the the tiny flower and laughed."First child; a part-angel, half-kyuubi artificial intelligence. First grandchild; A flower with a bio-chip inside of it." Me and Yomi promptly burst out laughing."Makes you wonder what kind of abomination would come out if we every really got into it..."

 "Who knows, we just might do that with the way things are going...." I muttered out silently as the memory of my previous conversation replayed itself. The notion that my life may not be a long one dragging me down somewhat as Yomi let out a curious sound."Mmhmm... I'd like that.. someday."

 Now this, made me feel quite giddy for some reason as I finally stood back up and walked over to my steat.

Aria seemingly finally woke up from the googling spree at that very moment.

AH! EDEN!

HIS NAME IS EDEN!

"Oooh, *his" name, is it?" I chuckled somewhat loudly as I sighed and leaned back into my chair, suddenly feeling very sleepy. Oh well, the flight is going to take a while so I might as well go sleep."So whats the name? For those of us who can't read minds please say it out loud with your mouth."

Belle exclaimed with a curt bow, making her sister laugh."Its Eden."

A spree of metallic steps caused my closing eyes to re-open as that one robot ninja approached me and bowed."Introduction: This one is unit SK-42. Continuation: This unit wishes to ask master something. Requesting permission for input."

A nod towards it."Sure. What do you wish to know, 42?"

The VI seemed to be taken aback, but only momentarily."Surprise: Reffered by number only? This unit finds it to be peculiar, though not unpleasant." Its metallic eyes rolled as it appeard to be processing something, most likely the question it was about to ask."Inquiry: Does master Antioch posses a base of operations? Continuation: if not, should this unit begin searching for a suitable location?"

I blinked at it as I rubbed my chin in thought."Thats a good question... I guess I can't really expect father to give me everything without taking over as the boss of the mafia."

"Not like anyone would protest, though." Tyrone said as he cracked his neck and I nodded."True, yet doing that to dad feels... unfair. Just thinking about it leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

"Maybe the Vatican could help you, master? Though you are a Child Of Chaos, you do possess a clear connection to God as well. Not to mention that you have the blade of an Archangel in your hands... Yes, the Pope will be glad to offer you assistance, I am sure of it!" Mislav replied to my assesment with an idea of its own.

"The Vatican, huh? Also, the blade of a what now?" Somehow, I don't think he means Eadom when he says that. Mislav nodded towards me and began explaining."Your molten, burning blade is the exact same kind of blade which can usually be seen in the hands of Archangel Michael. It is likely that Caedes is his actual sword, given to you now that the angel is dead."

"But... Caedes has been on earth far longer than-.. no wait, it hasn't. Eadom ran away sometime after the-.." Realizations strike my head one after another in a spree of migraines and pummeling thoughts."Eadom? What does that traitorous angel have to do with Caedes?" Mislav asked somewhat confused as I promptly summoned the blade into reality and stared at its ever-burning pyre."Caedes... its supposedly a sword forged out of an angels flesh and blood. That angel is supposedly Eadom."

"That is impossible." Surprisingly, Hui Jun was the one who answered me."The flesh of an Archangel is tougher than any earthly metal, comparable perhaps to the flesh of divine cultivators such as myself. It cannot be forged!"

"What if chaosfire was used, though?" Anna answered in my stead, which caused Hui Jun to stop dead in his tracks before replying."Perhaps, but before master gained his power, that kind of fire did not even exist in this world. It could be done today but the blade has existed for several thousand years already, hasn't it?"

A flash of memory strikes against my mind and I grin. The imagery of the Cathedral inside of my soul... the book.

The tale which is a lie, turned truth once the blade is forged."Time.. time is meaningless concept to beings like God and Chaos, isn't it?" I laughed at my own brainblasting realization as I rose my sword up high."You don't even exist yet, do you? Thats why you never had a physical form of your own, just fragments... just pieces I make temporarily real by sacrificing my own chaos-infused life blood."

"Master?" Mislav questioned me as I let out a maddening laugh."I see now. All this time, my task has never been to *re-forge* but *forge* you, hasn't it?"

One of the powers which this sword has is the ability to go back in time and influece events which are uniquely tied to its existence... what is more tied to it than its own moment of creation?

But then... the one who *took notice* of Eadom's betrayal of God and infused his soul into the metal wasn't Chaos, but me. Yet, I do not think that Eadom would ever mistake the two of us.... This has.. a lot of strange implications.

I don't believe that Chaos is some kind of future me.

What I do believe though, is that the one Eadom saw, was the me consumed by Chaos. The me of another reality, one where I became a direct part of the flame and not one of its adult children."Hmm, I wonder if this Implausible Sword has other powers which I am not aware of."

Letting out a massive breath of relief, I cancel Caedes's connection to reality and feel it re-enter my soul. Yet, somehow the blade felt different, almost... stronger. Perhpas its unique connection to time can be exploited somehow?

Oh well, an idea for later."42, please do your best to find me a suitable location for a base of operations. I have two locations in mind that I would like you to check out first; The Balkan Dinaric Alps and Iceland."

Fourty-two nodded before tilting its or his head sideways in seeming confusion."Warning; Dinaric Alps are home to Velebit, a Croatian national park which is currently under the control of The Balkan League. Slavic people; aggressive and xenophobic. Recommendation: Ignore location and settle Iceland."

I grinned at the machine."I don't know when I'll do it, but the Balkans are currently full of strife so I'm planning on taking over them in order to quickly calm things down. They will serve as a valuable starting location for us to subjugate the rest of Europe and have a way into the Middle East, Russia and Africa all at once."

"You don't wanna take over the mafia, but you're planning on taking over the entirety of Europe?" Tyrone quirked an eyebrow at me because that apparently made no sense. I shook my hand in negative."We will need his support in dealing with the economic powers within Europe if we are to ever accomplish anything. I'm planning on establishing a millitary control over Europe and eventually the rest of the world. As for the Zatara mafia, it will become the economic powerhouse we need to dominate all the others, thus granting father acess to all the wealth he could ever want. He just needs to be there to hold it in my stead."

"A scapegoat, eh? I suppose that could work. The old boss is really into economics, anyways." A nod."Thats what I thought too."

The machine in front of us however, shook his head in negative."Continuation: would still like to settle in Iceland for primary base. Can make outpost in Dinaric Alps for easier acess to Balkan League."

"Then do it." I approved of the machines assessment as it bowed."If I may, since you don't plan on being like HI and making sure nobody knows whats really happening, maybe I should start training people for your cause, master? The slavic people are hardy, proud and aggresive. If the Balkan population is anything like that of Russia, they will have an innate talent for cultivation. I can even invite some of my fellow elders of Russian descent. However, we would require supplies to create a proper and efficient temple to train the recruits and for this we need both money and a protected, unpopulated location. Something like a national park would serve my needs perfectly."

I extended my right hand towards fourty-two."Then your partner is right here, Hui Jun. You two make the arrangements, just hit me with the check whenever you are done."

"As you wish, master./Affirmative, master." The fact that the machine's answer was fluid and without emotional explanation did not evade my notice, but I paid it no heed.

After all, my VI servitors gaining sentience can only aid me in my task, right?


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...


Sorry if chapter is too short, need a break.

Maybe I'll make another one for Destiny today or continue this with an Audrey chapter.

Either way, see y'all later.

Of course, I'll stay online for a bit to fix mistakes and reply to early comments.


Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Advertisement

About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

Achievements
Comments(22)
Log in to comment
Log In

CrimsonWarden @CrimsonWarden ago

The madman returns!!! Praise Chaos!

imnotverysorry @imnotverysorry ago

Awww yisssss, a new Euphoria chap. Thank you o Lord Joyde Very Happy

loliZ321 @loliZ321 ago

so for the first half of my memes we have roses

 

 

last two are because of the small refrence to motherhood

 

 

ZhangY @ZhangY ago

1. Gives a clear sentience to a Resident Evil-like flower with tendrils.

2. Wonders if something could go wrong. Congratulates the mother.

3. Watches things go wrong.

Premium

WasteAge @WasteAge ago

is the flower going to be part of reviving the alien race ???

TralliE @TralliE ago

Oh dear. Chaos comes a knocking and I don't even have cookies. Sorry Leo.

Dicordum @Dicordum ago

If we dont have cookies ive got brownies