Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, Everybody! How are you all doing this fine day?

Meh, guess I couldn't post this chapter on time yesterday. (EDIT: OH GOOD GOD I MISSPELL SUBURO SO MANY TIMES IN THIS CHAPTER...)

Was too busy walking around town for no reason, but I suppose superior minds need to surrender to the wills of lesser creatures. (lawl jk)

Even when their ideas and desires often have no logical reasoning behind them.

Anyways, here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Half an hour later... - Divine Wind Academy - Leonardo's Point Of View...

"So uh... what exactly are we supposed to do here again?" I questioned my dear sister Yuko as we left the her private car which appeared to be an unknown model, most likely solely available to the residents of the unseen part of this world.

She giggled at my confusion as I continued to stare at the immense mass of people in front of us."Well I may or may not have lied about that part. In truth, today is a very special day."

The crowd of people was not solely a crowd of humans mind you, there were also foxkin, werewolves, vampires, oni, yukkionna's and the like."Oh?"

"Yeah! You see today marks the end of a yearly tournament that my former academy likes to have. A tournament where mon-ahem... where Inhuman and Human prodigies fight for supremacy and future benefits." She casually explained as we made our way into the academy and through the crowd of people."So why exactly do you need me to be here?"

"We'll get to that. Now, the reason why I am here is because while the tournament itself has five members from each faction, which of course results in five rounds of battles, it is the academy's tradition to call on one of its former graduates to fight a sixth round in which the tournaments victor can gain even more benefits as they've defeated someone whos already graduated or lose nothing at all. I am that former graduate." I quirked an eyebrow at her."And you get nothing for being here?"

"I wouldn't call this nothing..." She took out a huge purse, basically bursting with money. Ah, I get it now. How else do you get an adult to attend a meeting like this, especially if nobody they care about is fighting."I see... I guess this is a good way for HI to mark which Inhumans are a potential threat while they're still just kids... despicable."

Someone behind me grunted in dissaproval as my sister swallowed hard."Ehh well, it kind of goes both ways, don't you think? The Inhumans also get to see potential threats..."

"And do what? Assassinate the kids before they grow too strong and face annihilation from HI? Please sister, don't make me laugh." The many Inhumans around us turned their heads towards me in disbelief as my sister lowered her head in shame."Interesting viewpoints... from a human, no less."

A rather familiar voice echoed from the crowd as a certain femboy foxkin casually walked up front to greet me."Suburo?" I asked out loud as Yomi's younger brother came into view, on each of his sides stood an armed foxkin, each looking strong and ready to attack."Haha! Thought it might be you who is causing all the commotion so early in the tournament. How are you doing, Leonardo?"

"You know this guy?" Sis asked me, her earlier shame seemingly dissipating for the moment. I nodded towards her in acknowledgment as I shook Suburo's long-nailed hand."We met earlier this week, didn't we?"

He offered me a savage grin."Indeed. And it was quite the meeting."

Silence followed after that as we entered an elevator. The group inside consisted of only three humans and around seven inhumans, which is probably why the human operating said elevator became immensely nervous. Before the doors opened up, sis promptly gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and said while blushing lightly."Welp, despite the bad start, I hope you can enjoy still the tournament!"

"Oh don't worry little sis, I won't cause too much trouble. Besides, I get to watch you fight, right?" I shrugged at her as the group around us was suddenly slack-jawed."Li-li-little s-s-sister?" The operator asked with a fearful tone."Yes? Is that a problem?!"

Yuko asked with pure malice, causing the poor guy to nearly fall onto his ass."N-NO! Everythings fine... f-f-family is allo-aall-allowed..."

The doors opened to reveal a massive underground chamber with two main floors, the upper one seemingly separated into two sections; The Human and The Inhuman, that is."Well, I'm gonna go and sit with my grandparents.. well our grandparents. I won't force you to sit with us if you don't want to..."

"Dear sister, I'd gladly sit with you but I feel like doing so would place me very close to a whole bunch of xenophobes." She gave me a nod and then left towards the left wing of the upper floor upon which we currently stood. Saburo then chuckled and pointed the other way."Then, since you are free, why not come sit with me?"

"Sure, lead the way." Our casual conversation turned many heads this way, especially the human kind."How would it not? You are a human, yet you side with the Inhumans... your very existence is a perceived threat to your own kind."

"If that is really what they think of me then they are truly as foolish as I thought they were." I sent Yomi a muttered sentence, which carried a rather incredible amount of rage."Oh?

Despite my previous assumptions, this place was not built like a massive amphitheater but rather a hotel with multiple levels which had an arena in the center and anyone could watch from above. It reminded me of those private casinos which hosted pitfights. Two poor sods would fight to pay off their debts, most of the time to the casino itself, by dealing death to the other and entertainment to the masses. I didn't like those hotels, mostly because I was not allowed to enter myself as a fighter.

Watching fights between two poor, half-starved humans is ridiculously boring in my opinion... hopefully this will prove diffrent."If I am anything then I am mankinds Messiah. Just as they ridiculed and spat on Jesus, they will do the same to me. In the end, they will either learn to bow before my will or they will die. Simple as that."

Suburo suddenly swallowed hard, his breathing heated and harsh."Hmm? Reading my mind, are you?" I asked him with a evil chuckle, causing the poor man to shake his head in negative."N-no! I'd never! Its just that.. you're radiating so much untamed violence... I can see why she likes you so much."

She? Oh, saying Yomi's name here is probably a bad idea."I see."

"Hello! May I please take your order?" An adorable little asian vampire girl in a waitress outfit and long black hair with very dark eyeliner suddenly appeared next to us. Her eyes glowed red and her legs were joined together as if in embarrasment."I'll have a sex on the beach." Saburo replied with a beaming smile, causing the poor apparent teens dead heart to skip several beats.

"I guess I'll have a coke, provided you serve it." She nodded and hastily scribbled it on a memo before putting said memo down and asking."Anything to eat?"

"Afraid I'll have to consult the menu for that one, darling." I replied with a cough. She blinked in momentary confusion and blushed again."AH! Right a-away, sorry!"

 Then the girl executed a set of movements so quick you could barely see her with a naked eye. Fortunatelly I could, which in turn granted me a rather delightfull view of her ass as the skirt she was wearing flew up in the air."Never thought you'd be a pervert."

Suburo broke me out of the trance as I let out a laugh."Hey, I'm twenty-one years old, y'know? This is just me being a healthy adult man, thats all." I replied with a tone of joy.

Before long, the waitress returned carrying with her the menu I asked for as she turned towards Saburo."Right, will you order anything sir?"

"I'll just have my 'beach for now, thank you." She nodded."Right, feel free to call me whenever you change your mind."

She then dissappeared into the crowds, seemingly effortlessly teleporting between tables in order to serve customers."Hmm... around two to three hundred years old, mastery of the blink spell... not a bad girl overrall." Saburo said with a quirked eyebrow as I continued checking the waitress out.

I turned around with a smile as I opened up the menu and started rushing through the options."Meh. While she is nice, I already have two women in my life. I don't need another."

"How about a man, then?" He asked with a chuckle which caused me to do a fullstop."No thanks. Not into that."

"Yet you were fully willing to hook me up with your own brother?" He questioned me and I turned my head away."Dude, I have no problem with gay people. Its your choice who and what you wanna fuck and when. But just as any chick can tell a guy to fuck off, I can respond to you much the same."

An incredibly amused yet also thoughtfull nod from him was my reply."That's fair, I suppose."

"Would you mind if I sat with you?" A strange man approached us, wearing naught but a black cowl, an ornate Christian cross and saggy pants that looked as if they were hand-sewn. A monk of some kind, his hands seemingly stained with blood which appeared not to be dripping yet appeared not to be dry in the least."Sure, go ahead."

I replied to the man, seemingly much to the dissapproval of Suburu."Thank you. Not many would welcome a fleshweaver to their table these days."

"A fleshweaver?" I tilted my head in confusion as the man removed his cowl only to reveal an equally black sash around his eyes, which appeared to be hollow."Hmm, you must be new to the true world if you know not of those such as I."

 "Most likely the only reason why he allowed you to our table, Christian." Suburo spitefully spoke as I quirked an eyebrow."So the problem is his religion? Not his craft? I'll have you know that I'm quite the devout Christian myself."

I replied as I extended my right hand outward and felt the blood boiling beneath my skin."Caedes." A simple whisper yet it echoed across the platform as the golden, divine blade forged itself unto reality via my burning blood. Its white-hot metal, combined with the Jerusalem Cross it had for a handle, gave it an almost heavenly aura, were it not for the intense bloodthirst which also exhuded from the blade's thirsting edge.

Suburo made a cheh sound but remained otherwise quiet after that."Hahahhaha, still such a bore, isn't he? When will he learn that the Divine Wind does not blow for Inhumans!?"

My oh my, I haven't fed you in a while, have I?"Slaughter? Oh my, what a terrible name for such a divine blade." The fleshweaver spoke with some dread in his tone."You could hear its name?"

"And the Christian God does?" I questioned Yomi with a quirked eyebrow to which she replied with a rather surprising nod."The God of The Bible is known to care very little for who and what worships it. Why, some of the most powerful vampires ever to exist were once Crusaders or Jihadists. One of the first popes was a demon.. though that guy actually ran away from his demonic lineage and basically converted to Catholicism in an effort to become an angel instead."

"Seriously? Thats... wow." I replied, entirely stunned by the information for the moment."What about you though, Yomi?" I asked her, causing the woman to start having deep thoughts.

He swallowed and nodded."Y-yes, but please do not mistake my apparent worthiness to wield it for any form of desire to do so." He quickly explained as he finally sat down.

"Waitress!" I yelled out pretty loudly as the vampire girl instantly appeared next to our table. She took one look at the scarred, withered old man who had just joined us and scowled."Waay to break the hottie duet.."

She shook her head, rose her memo hand and asked."Anyways, did you decide what to order, sirs?"

"I'll have extra large kobe, but before that, do you accept these?" I promptly waved my Omnicard in front of her face, causing it to lit up with dollar signs."YES! Of couse, young master!!"

I gave her the card and she rushed off to instantly return with it."A-anything for you gentlemen?" She turned to ask my two companions, both of which waved her off."R-right! Y-your order will be ready s-soon!"

"Hot as hell, radiating violence, drenched in rivers of blood and filthy rich. You are certainly going to make every Inhuman lady around here swoon." Subaru said with an amused tone, which reminded me of Yomi."Hopefully only the ladies."

He pouted a bit but said nothing else."Me huh? Guess I never really thought about it. I mean, most of the hosts I had were Christian, believing that going to church with me inside of them will offer some kind of divine protection or closure, not that it ever really did. It just hurt me a lot... eventually, I got so used to the pain that I barely even noticed it."

"Going to church hurts you? Aww..." I mimicked her brother as I pouted, unintentinally saying that out loud as Yomi giggled in my mind."Who may you be talking to, friend? Also, your sword is penetrating the ground." The fleshweaver spoke with an amused voice.

I let out a sigh as I made Caedes return to my soul, the blade melting back into blood and infusing itself into my palm."Unimportant. Anyways, its high time we got introduced. Leonardo Zatara, a pleasure."

He nodded with approval."I am Mislav Loricatus, master fleshweaver and aspiring flaggelant in service to the Vatican and our holy lord in heaven."

"To the Vatican? Interesting... Tell me, what is it that you do that it makes the people around us unnerved by your presence alone?" The man seemed to quirk an eyebrow at me, even as he had no eyes."You... are interested in my art?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to leave you two to it, duty calls." Saburo quickly spoke with a tone full of horror."He could barely stand to watch me practice blood magic. The very thought of seeing a fleshweaver in action must disgust him." Ah, makes sense.

 A nod was his answer as I largely ignored him, the weakling fox quickly making his way over to another table nearby which had several foxkin sitting there."Ahh.. it would appear that I've scared off your companion."

I waved my hand at Mislav, confirming the fact that he could see movement even without eyes as he responded to the dismissive gesture."Who cares. As for my interest in your art well.. that is why you came to my table, is it not? I sorely doubt that you approached me without reason."

He swallowed hard."It.. the flesh ... I... I was drawn to this place reasonlessly, as you say. Perhaps this meeting of ours was indeed fated... but to what end?"

 "Isn't it obvious, friend? You are going to be my teacher for the moment. You can start by explaining the basics of fleshweaving." I calmly replied to the man who appeared to be shocked at my response.

"I-I.." He tried to say something but his voice was quickly shut out by the announcer."LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO THE YEARLY TOURNAMENT OF THE DIVINE WIND ACADEMY!"

I turned around semi-annoyed, as my attention had been taken away by the announcer... who turned out to be a purplish-pink skinned woman with oversized tits, demon horns and bat-like wings, dressed in a typical headmistress suit with a skirt so low you could see her underwear.

A succubuss, how delightful.

I can already feel the bile rising from my throat.

It might be my Christian heritage.

It might be the fact that I have the soul of an angel joined to mine.

It might be the fact that I hold God in high regard.

But demons have never been my favorite mythical creature, especially not the kind that venerate prostitution."We apologize for the delay, but some of our participants had some trouble reaching the academy on time..."

My stare seems to have been powerfull enough to be felt as the succubuss threw a look towards me for the briefest moment before looking away in disgust equal to my own."However, everything has been solved and the tournament will proceed as planned!"

"Now, let us welcome our first two participants!" She exclaimed with a voice full of energy and I grit my teeth, already imagining how it'd feel to rip out her throat.

Then again, considering how many cocks probably pummeled and orgasmed into said throat... I might not wanna touch it at all. Fuck that, I don't want to be anywhere within twenty meters of that .. thing."Okay, guess you learn something new everyday."

Yomi spoke with a surprised and amused tone."The hell do you mean?" My voice carried with it a level of anger I hadn't intended. Thankfully my hostility only served to further amuse Yomi."You are the last person on this earth that I could see being adverse to a succubi."

"I don't like whores." Was my rather simple reply, which caused Yomi to shrug."Well, to each their own I suppose. Never really was fond of demons myself. People always used to belittle me by calling me one..."

 I don't think that was their line of thought at that particular moment but.. meh."From the human side we welcome Kyoya Makohachi, the black blade of the Makohachi clan!"

A black haired boy around the age of sixteen jumped into the arena, bearing a black katana which seemed to be leaking shadows. He was dressed in an equally edgy black overcoat and had a ponytail hairdo, which gave him points with me.



A bunch of fangirls screeched from above, causing the poor sod to scowl."I will win, but not for you. I will win for myself!" He exclaimed with hatred and pride equally filling his voice.

"KYAA!!! SO COOL!" Was their rather expected reply.

I could feel the edge reeling off him all the way to here. I let out an amused laugh. This'll be good.

"And from the Inhuman side we welcome Seo Takanobu, firstborn son of the White Wolf himself!" The bitch screamed out at the top of her lungs, causing my previous amusement to drop instantly."Heh, thats my boy!"

Turning around towards my right, a massive white werewolf dressed in a tuxedo was sitting with a gigantic, prideful grin on his face. The boys father, no doubt.

No sooner than I turned around, the boy in question leaped down into the arena on all fours before standing on two legs, claws and teeth at the ready and bursting with bloodthirst."Gonna mess up your face so bad those fangirls of yours are gonna scream!"

Heh. Gotta admit the guy has a way with words.

The emo swordsman scoffed."Be my fucking guest, dog."

The werewolf howled in rage and fury."RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" And then leaped into action, striking the ground where the emo was so hard that the concrete cracked.

Kyoya seemingly melted into his own shadow just before being struck and re-appeared behind the werewolf, yet before he could swing his katana, they were both paralyzed mid-air."Na na naah, I didn't say you could start!"

The bitch said condescendingly as she used whatever magic she cast on them to separate the two about ten meters apart and put them back onto the ground."Now then... in three."

The two readied their respective weaponry again."Two..."

The crowd quieted down as everyone was focused onto the fight."One..."

Bones could be heard cracking in anticipation as the wolf and the swordsman eyed one another eagerly."AND GOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Sorry for the cliff, hope not many of you fall of it.

I had to stop here since my shitty net has hit its limit and I hope to god I'll be able to post this without losing my connection.

The next chapter will be written as soon as I have had my food break.

This computer apparently can't handle more than 3.5k words or sm.. I intended this to be a 10k words chapter so I don't have to spread the tournament for too many chapters.

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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Derwipe @Derwipe ago

i love you thanks for the chapter Very Happy

Nolo @Nolo ago

Thanks for the chapter Very Happy

gaigous @gaigous ago

You don' or succubi pun? Why? What possible reason could he have for not loving those beautiful creatures?

Were gonna have to agree to disagree about demons (Especially succubi), they're my favorite mythical creatures (Especially Succubi).

Now gold digging whores I can hate with the best of them, those things are abominations plain and simple, regular whores, however, are majestic unicorns galloping through a spring meadow with a rainbow backdrop (I'm spouting some impressively blatant and biased bullshit here Tongue)

Unicorn Gif Slam!!! (plus another......unicorn?)

Ahhhhhh My Eyes!! They Hurt!! Somebody Quick!! Burn It With Hellfire!!


Schmi @Schmi ago

nice.  that fleshweaver is interesting.  excited to see where this will go.  thanks so much.  have a good day.

ZhangY @ZhangY ago

Chapter 79: To be Entertained?

Chapter 80: Here come a new challenger

Chapter 81: Lolz they all died

But maybe MC will break destiny... again...