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Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How're you all doing?


So hows it going y'all?

Me? Ah, I've been hittin' dem surprise exams, meself.

Although... proud as I am of the results...

Sure could'a NOT EVER HAD THE- ahem, not had to waste my time on exams which won't effect my overall grade.

Would've liked it even more if they weren't required for the "real" exam later on...

Anyways, that's my excuse for not writing these past days. Here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin.

One more thing tho, I promise that I will write at least five chapters during Christmas, maybe more if god wills it.


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...


Same Day, 8 AM - AURELIUS LOGIN ZONE - ?'s Point Of View...


Dive Request Accepted
Preferred User Recognized
Welcome back, CowBYDwarf.

"Oy Zena, could'ya not instantly log me in this time?" I asked the over-done figure of the AI known as Zena.

Seriously, game developers can really push the limits when it comes to the female form sometimes... Those things must be double d's at least!"Oh? Is there a problem, Mr. CowBYDwarf?"

I felt myself cringe hard at that name... I've really changed since two years ago, I was so damn childish back then. Still can't believe I ever made that idiotic profile, but wasting 10$ just to change it? No thank you."Nah, not a problem exactly. I just wanna make a new character. Might as well make use of the extra char-slot I bought."

With a nod from her, my current self which was auto-formed into the dwarf-wannabe-cowboy named Corez, promptly turns to a could of random data. I looked at myself in an imaginary mirror, finding myself consisting of floating directory icons, exclamation marks and downloading symbols... and not being weirded out by it at all."Ah, alright then. So what character are you going to be making, Mr. C-"

I raise a block of data up, my current right hand, as it seemed, and say."Please, just call me Carl."

With wide eyes, she nods again asks."Then Mr Carl, what character will you be making this time?"

"I'll be making a goblin. Don't really care how I look, just make him... as decent as possible for a goblin." Is my rather droll reply.

Closing her eyes and seemingly falling into thought, Zena extends her hands outwards to my right and a goblin body forms out of thin air. Its a grey-skinned, shark toothed, bald thing with torn-out nails, standing at around 1.50m.

"Yep, that's good enough. Now, can you show me the racial menu?" Another nod.

Racial Menu - Goblin
Artistic Interest Primal Blood Of Stone Regeneration
As a goblin, you get a 20% bonus to all crafting skills. Although uplifted, this goblin tribe still has great connections to their more savage cousins.
+A racial ability called Blood Craze. (+50% atk speed/1minute)
As a goblin, you have mining unlocked from the start and have a greater chance to dig up valuable gems/metals. As a goblin, you have enhanced health regeneration.
+5hp/s out of combat.
+1hp/s in combat.

"Hey, that's pretty good! How come there's no detriments?" I asked Zena with a quirked eyebrow.

To which she tilted her head in confusion."Detriments? None of the non-premium races have detriments."

"But isn't this a bit overpowered if that's true?"

She shrugged."I'm not the one who balances the game, but I've heard that goblins are getting ridiculously low starting stats. As in, below 10."

Ah, that makes sense."Well, that's about it then. Can you log me in now?"

She shakes her head in negative."You still need to chose a name."

Blinking, I fell myself grin momentarily as a name comes to mind and I close my eyes."Call me..."

And re-open them dramatically."... Dush."

Zena bites down hard onto her lip, clearly repressing an absolutely delicious cringe as she forces herself to nod and then wordlessly shove me into the world of Euphoria.

Heh, maybe I'm still a bit childish, in the end.


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...


Few seconds later... - Incerum Undercity - Goblin Spawning Pits - Dush's Point Of View...


"Ahh, a newz onez beinz bornz!"

"Quikz, bringz de towalz!"

"Na, waits ya stoopid z's! Itz nut a new 'ne!"

"Wotz yaz sayz 'bout me, stoopidz?!"

*thonk* "OW!"

"Hey!" *slap*

"AH, ME KEEL YOU FOR DAT, STOOPID Z!" *slam*

*thwack* "NOZ MEZ KEELZ YOUZ, IDIOTZ!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARH (z)!"

I felt myself shaking with barely-restrained laughter as the voices of two random goblin NPC's penetrated my ears.

Soon, I was finally able to open my eyes as the login sequence finished.

Welcome back, Destined One.
Since this is your first time playing the goblin race, you are required to complete the starting area (Incerum Undercity) before entering the world.

I blinked in confusion for a moment as I read the blue screen. If they're making it a requirement to play through the starting area, or even making one in the first place, then I guess either the goblins are a difficult race or their coding isn't perfected.

Possibly both.

Shaking my head out of my stupor, I manage to feel the location of my right arm and use it to pierce this strange, golden pod that I've found myself in."Uhh, gryaah.."

A guttural sound escapes me as I shake the golden ooze off me and look around. I appear to be in some giant, hollowed out chamber within a mountain. The entire place is abuzz with goblins running around carrying towels, food and pretty much anything else they consider good baby-nursing equipment."Ah, a new Destined One has chosen to inhabit the flesh of a goblin..."

An elderly voice echoes through the cavernous expanse as I notice a skinny, albeit very well dressed, old goblin looking directly at me. Must be my first quest giver.

Nodding towards him and ignoring the rolling duo of goblins who were arguing beforehand, I left the pod.

The old goblin nodded back toward me with understanding in his eyes."Not very talkative, are you? Oh well, perhaps its for the best. Please follow me and, despite what I've just said, ask me any questions if you have them."

He says with a hopeful voice and I nod again as I follow behind him."Well, first of all, who are ye?"

A stunned blink is my reward for that question, although I don't think its for what I think it is."Huh... familiar way of talking... would you maybe happen to be Mr Corez? The Dwarf?"

Another nod from me is his answer as he continues."Ah, very well then.. as for your question, I am named Uug. I am The Caretaker of these spawning pits, also the current oldest goblin alive. While my normal job is to well, take care of the spawning pits, the other part of the job is to ensure that the Destined One's who take upon goblin flesh are introduced to our society without major difficulties."

"Uug, eh? My name's Dush."

"Dush? What a peculiar name.. Although it does fit a goblin." He says somewhat uncertainly, almost as if he does not get its real meaning.

With a chuckle, I continue."So what was that yellow thing I just crawled out of?"

"The Spawning Pods? Well, much like their name would suggest, they are special pods created by our females, who then store newborn baby goblins inside. The liquid, which I do not know how to make, is capable of speeding up the growth of the goblin inside of it, allowing us to reach adulthood much sooner than other races."

I blinked."Could the pods be used for another race?"

He shook his head in negative."I'm afraid not. Whenever we placed another creature inside of the pods, they were deformed and died a horrible death and... well, in the pursuit of quickly-grown food, we tried... many, many times."

"I see..."

Silence followed after that as I quietly contemplated what I just heard. I found myself wondering weather of not Rhean knows about this...

And should I even tell him?

Its quite possibly better not to.

Minutes passed and soon, we arrived to a much smaller chamber within the mountain, equally abuzz with goblin activity, just with the nursing equipment being replaced by mining pickaxes and a wide variety of other tools... albeit mostly pickaxes."Well, here we are! To the right, you will find your combat instructors and to the left are the crafting ones. Have fun as a Goblin, Destined One!"

A nod from me and the old goblin suddenly teleports out of sight. With a shrug, I walk towards the left.


Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...


Really short chapter, I know. Just a bit over 1.6k words... so a literal thousand is still missing.

But its 0:27 AM where I am right now and I need to wake up really early tomorrow for classes that I can't miss out on. Tongue


Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!

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About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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Nolo @Nolo ago

Thanks for the chapter :D

dragonmage124 @dragonmage124 ago

ah...starting another side of the vast game while sinding minds screaming about the side quest that was started in the last chapter to start a different pov all together....new record of mental chaos from chapters good job.

gaigous @gaigous ago

Thanks for the chapter!

The standardized testing system is the bane of our existence, einstein even warned us that it was a horrible idea with far reaching consequences.

Treyon @Treyon ago

I miss the wolf and the fox beauty sexy times xd

valheru @valheru ago

Thanks for the chapter 

ZhangY @ZhangY ago

The weather bothers me. It's not the fist time. I'm angry at you Author.