Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, Everybody! How are you all doing?


I'm honestly terrified.

I mean, I don't really know weather I want to be super happy or really scared of the fact that my story took six days to fall back down to being ranked 49th.

Yes, the recent spree of uploads and releases was blocked by my... unwillingness to reach that level of fame just yet.

Wolfshadow's stain is still felt, the tilt he left me with still makes my neck hurt sometimes... and I do not know if I am ready to enter the TOP-FIVE stories on this site just yet. (Granted; I chickened out at number 22... how the hell I got that far up is something I will never know)

So sorry for the wait you all had to endure, but I do not have the brain-cells to waste on the potential idiocy being so high-ranked would attract. I am fully content flaring up and down between rank 50-25.

And that is exactly what I plan on doing... Anyways, here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Mere moments later... - The Chittering Forest - Rhean's Point Of View...

"So then... shall we hunt together or do you wanna have a competition?" I asked Yomi with a knowing smirk as she stopped momentarily before turning around towards me.

And returning my smirk with one of her own."You really need to ask?"

Grinning faces are the last we share before she speeds off into the forest, her waving tails stunning me along with the majesty of her entire form. Even as a fox, she is ethereally beautiful....

Oh, what am I say, she is always a fox. Grinning to myself as I shake my head out of my stupor, I charge right into the forest and immediately open up my Living Aura. To my surprise, I get a slight pain to my eyes as I do this, making me stop dead in my tracks as I quirk a wolfish eyebrow.

My Auspex activated in the real world, even if I am asleep, merely by thinking about the Living Aura ability.

Which means they require the same brain frequency to activate... this is way too much of a coincidence. I'm going to need to have father investigate Aurelius.

Quest Update!
Hunting Requirements:
Bears 2/20
Boar 1/20
Wolves 6/20
Deer 3/20

Blinking at myself, I notice Yomi suddenly teleporting in front of me in a flash of arcane energy. She notices me staring at her with a stupefied expression as she laughs."Fox step, biatch!" And then she disperses into thin air.

Quest Update!
Hunting Requirements:
Bears 3/20
Boar 1/20
Wolves 6/20
Deer 3/20

I grin."Oh you sly little..." And with that I speed off deeper into the forest, my infernal jaws snatching several boars and then throwing them into the air, impaling them onto the weaponry stuck to my backside.

I repeat this process until I have all nineteen boars on my back and then manage to get to the drop point just as Yomi warps in with three deer hanging in her tails.

Quest Update!
Hunting Requirements:
Bears 3/20
Boar 20/20
Wolves 6/20
Deer 3/20

She blinks at me as I de-transform and let the boars free-fall onto the drop point."Oh come on!" She exclaims with annoyance in her voice before warping back into the forest.

Laughing at her as I follow her inside, I stop in front of a small pond and skewer a deer before howling high into the morning sun.

Quest Update!
Hunting Requirements:
Bears 5/20
Boar 20/20
Wolves 10/20
Deer 9/20

Damn, she works fast, doesn't she?

Shaking my head out of my stupor once more as the army of wolves I attracted with my howl comes running towards me only to suffer the same fate as the boars beforehand, I consume the two extra wolves and drop the rest off.

Quest Update!
Hunting Requirements:
Bears 12/20
Boar 20/20
Wolves 20/20
Deer 11/20

Come to think of it, this forest is remarkably populated. I mean, even for a virtual forest... a girl like Luciana would not ask for twenty of each animal if the numbers were even slightly damaging to the ecosystem...

Must be all the dryads.

Quest Update!
Hunting Requirements:
Bears 13/20
Boar 20/20
Wolves 20/20
Deer 14/20


Noting myself being a little bit panicked, I turn on my travel speed and charge the nearest squad of deer, not even bothering to look at them as they suffer impalement upon the spears. Turning around, I repeat the process as I leap right into a bear den to see Yomi tearing her fangs into the male alpha as I quickly scoop up the young lings and speed off."HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

Laughing as I nearly drop the semi-adult bear from my jaws, I make my way towards the drop points, racing against a teleporting Yomi.

We grin at each other as we speed up and she laughs towards me as she sees me charging into a tree, before having her jaw drop with how casually I ran over the sorry excuse of an obstacle.

Meh, not that I blame it. I mean, what the hell is a tree supposed to do against a super-charged five meter tall wolf monster with literal metal for jaws?

Managing to somehow both arrive and drop our catch on the same time rewarded us with something neither seems to have expected.

Quest Update! - HUNT COMPLETED
You have met the necessary requirements!
Additionally, you have successfully performed two events tied to this Quest Chain.
The Devouring Wargs and The Incredible Mauler have been hunted. Their Great Hunt icons shall be removed from the map.
Rewards - One Instant Tailor (Rhean)
50 fame each
-25% food consumption for two weeks
Spoils Of The Great Hunt(s)!
+50 pieces of high quality Monster meat each
+50 pieces of high quality leather and hide each
+due to the removal of two highly-dangerous predators, lesser animals will receive a permanent boost of 12% to breeding.
+Rabbits have been sighted inside of The Chittering Forest
+A pride of Lynxes has been sighted inside of The Chittering Forest
+Your actions have attracted a Highly skilled Skinner. He will teach the people of Incerum how to properly process the animals in your stead and will offer you Hunting advice/blessings for free.

"Well that's neat." I hear Yomi mutter out with a bit of spite as she stares towards me with an expecting glance."What?" I tilt my head in confusion.

"I won!" She exclaimed with a smirk and I let out a breath of amusement."Nah, I'm pretty sure we tied in the end there."

"I'm a woman, I must be the victor by default!" She proclaims defiantly and I burst out laughing like a maniac and she soon joins me in laughter.

After spending a good minute, she decides to approach me as we both transform back to reveal our sweating bodies to one another. I beam her a smile as she leaps towards me, allowing me to catch her into my arms."Sooo, you up for that kink-hunt?" She asks with a seductive grin and I chuckle."This early in the morning? Wouldn't it be better for the atmosphere during nighttime?"

Shrugging at me as she places a finger to her chin, she turns around with another smirk."At least kiss me then!"

"As you wish, madam." I reply with a sing-along voice and plant a full kiss onto her lips, making sure not to force myself onto her as I gently separate but not before she bites on my lower lip."Oooh, that's kinky."

"Says the guy who thought up the wolf-hunts-fox scenario." She blankly states as I shrug.

Suddenly, a third voice echoes in front of us."Uhmm... is this not the best of times?" Luciana and some other dude approach us, a bulky man dressed in somewhat tribal leathers with a set of silken robes underneath. A true man of the wild.

Luciana's embarrassed expression sends the both of us into a spree of chuckles as we share another quick kiss before I let her down onto the ground."So then, are you the new guy?"

The obvious hunter bows before us and says with a nod."Yes... I come from the vast deserts of The South and my name is Ashkii Dighin. My gods have spoken to me in my dreams and a prophecy was made that a great huntress would appear in these lands, blood-kin to a conqueror of untold power... I see now the true meaning of this prophecy."

"And what did this prophecy entail? What is the point of your prophecy?" Yomi questions him as she approaches the hunter, his weapons, a great blessed bow and the fang of what could only be a sabrecat of some kind, and the hunter takes a step back, seeming terrified at her approach.

Ah, I get it."I... I must admit the truth to you..." He shakes his head with a hand raised in defense."My gods spoke of our doom, a threat not to our lives but to our cultures, our way of life. They have sent me, as their greatest hunter, to slay you, Nine Tailed one."

Yomi grits her teeth, but before she can do anything, I place my hand onto her shoulder and stop her."Let me take care of this, alright?"

Taking in a breath to calm herself, Yomi retreats behind me and I turn towards the hunter. He swallows hard as he turns to look back at me and I let out a massive laugh, stunning everyone around before suddenly becoming serious again."You come to my lands, you confess to be an assassin and now you look as if you are about to fall onto the ground... what I don't know, little hunter, is weather you would fall from fear, or guilt... perhaps a mixture of both."

He lets out a sigh of defeat."Your majesty... the gods have indeed sent me to slay your sister... and while I was coming here, the actions of the local people have only solidified my hate, fueled my anger, gave me the willpower to continue despite knowing that the conqueror may very well be your resurrected self."

"And yet, when you walked into this valley..." I continue for him as I smirk, this story is something I have heard a thousand times, easily noting it from a mile away. The Hunter nods in silence before continuing."Indeed.. when I walked into this valley, it is as if I wandered into another world.. the people here treated me as they would anyone else. Wherever else I walked, my black skin and tribal clothing bought me solely mistrust and disgust... but here, in Incerum, I was nearly instantly approached by those willing to offer me a helping hand..."

He turns towards Luciana as he points towards the robes underneath his tribal leathers."This wonderful lady ran towards me bearing a set of fine robes, woven silks the kind I had never felt or seen, telling me that I should wear it, for the difference in temperature was sure to make me uncomfortable in comparison to my homelands..."

Luciana turns beet red again."I-I-I d-d-d-did not h-have a-a-any m-male clothing t-that f-fit you.. sorry."

And she completely misses the point as the three of us others smile."It is fine, Luciana. You were right... the rage I had felt sustained me so I did not feel the cold, but when you made me aware of it, my bones felt as if frozen. The robes you have given me out of kindness have saved my life, in more ways than one." He tells her with a beaming smile and the girl can be seen filling with pride. She has done well today.

Yomi then asks the final question."So then, my would-be hunter, whatever shall you do now?"

He raises himself up from his kneeling position and speaks clearly."I have decided to abandon my gods. I wish to join you, Ancient Ones."

Suddenly, his entire right arm burns away in spiritual flames, making me quirk an eyebrow, Yomi to shrug and Luciana to scream."AAAH! W-WHATS GOING ON?!"

Ignoring Luciana as I see that his weapons are destroyed by that same flame, I approach the hunter and use a scythe to open up a vein on my other hand."I have little use of a hunter with only one arm... Drink."

Swallowing hard as he takes a moment to look at my burning, lava-like blood, he nods and takes some into his own remaining hand before gulping it down."U..aa..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" He screams out, scaring the morning birds and other wildlife away as his right arm regenerates as good as new, although lacking the tribal symbols that were painted upon it before.

Luciana stares at the ongoing scene with heavy breaths, her widening eyes incapable of believing what they're seeing as the hunter stands back up and stares into his new arm."... For all my life, I had never known how having a right arm of my own felt like... the spirits believe themselves capable of copying it well enough, but I now know that they could never even compare to this."

With that statement made, he turns back towards me and bows."Chieftain, I shall go foraging within this forest right away in order to determine the capabilities of the nearby trees and learn more of the wildlife. It shall not take me long to study them and create the necessary tools t-huh?" He speaks but is abruptly stopped as I take out my three hunting knives and hand them to him."Use these for today and tell the blacksmith to forge you another set of these as soon as he can. As for your bow... well, I'm sure you want to make another one yourself."

"B-b-but, these are yours, my chieftain! To take them would be sacrile-" Again, I stop him with a raised hand."It does not matter. You are now one of my Ascended."

Luciana blinks at me before asking."A-ah... but you never really explained what that means, milord?"

Quirking an eyebrow at her, I reply as I close my eyes and begin walking around as villains usually do when they tell a story."An Ascendant is a selective person that was formerly a mere subject within my Empire. One who is also talented or special enough to be picked out from the rest by yours truly. Now, apart from the usual differences of getting massive privileges in comparison to everyone else, the Ascended are people I have accepted as part of my own family. Yes Luciana, that includes you as well."

The two's eyes widen and their jaws drop."Y-y-y-your f-family, your highness?"

"Yes, my family. For the Azarestrian Empire, there is only one ruling class. Me and everyone I pick out of the crowd. You may not realize it Luciana, but people like you are rare and so long as you do your job correctly, I will make sure you live a happy life. Of course, it also means that, during times of my absence, it will be up to you and your other *siblings* to rule Azarest.... and any other lands we conquer once we're back on track." I state with a breath of relief.

The hunter takes another look at my knives and nods before taking them and placing them into his belt."Very well, this makes it not sacrilege. I shall do my best in your service, Ancient Ones!" He exclaims before promptly speeding off into the forest.

"Ashkii, huh? Does his name have any special meanings, dear sister?" I turn towards Yomi with a questioning glance and she nods."Indian, it means sacred child."

Curious. Suddenly, an ever-so-tiny hand touches my shoulder and I turn around to face a still beet-red Luciana as she asks."My lord... and lady... does my name also have some form of hidden meaning?"

"Your name's hidden meaning is Light And Illumination. It represents you as one who is stuck between the state of adulthood and childhood, a sensual soul that dislikes violence yet is fully willing to use it if someone crosses its limit, especially when the purpose behind such violence is to *educate* someone on what you believe to be more proper behavior." She listens closely to my words.

And then she shakes her head in negative."B-but, I would never hurt anyone!"

"And what if Ashkii outright refused your offer? You would not berate him for it at all, now would you? And if that didn't work, you would absolutely not get a guard to subdue him just so you could dress him properly." Yomi points out with a blank stare as Luciana blushes hard."I-I w-w-w-would n-not h-have him s-s-subdued... I would make him follow me to the house of one of my male friends to have him dressed and have a guard make sure he... wait, that's exactly what you just described."

Blinking at us in disbelief, the girl raises one of her hands and looks at it."Huh... the Archon Of Chaos sees and hears no lies, knowing those he lays eyes upon better than they know themselves..." She recites what I can only assume is an excerpt of a very, very edgy book about yours truly.

Yomi bursts into giggles as she throws me a look."I. Wrote. Nothing."

Luciana then wakes form her stupor and tilts her head in sudden confusion."Hey that reminds me... I followed Ashkii to find you for a reason... but what was it again?"

She blinks as we return our attention to her and then, a light-bulb forms on top of her head."AH! That it! We've recovered enough salvage from the ruins to rebuild the tailor's workshop, we only need your orders now, milord."

"Then do it.... While you are here, could you tell me about all the buildings inside of Incerum? What do we currently have?" I ask and she nods before motioning us to follow her.

We comply and walk with her into the city."Well, we have quite a few special buildings around, not all of them are manned though, but there are also some outside of Incerum."

As we continue walking down the slatestone road, I notice the mass of gathering soldiers at our training grounds, most likely getting ready for our raid of Pittings. Ah, I still need to warn my guild about it... come to think of my guild, did I even invite Yomi in? No, I didn't.

I quickly send her in invite as Luciana continues."We currently have one large Lumbermill to the south of the city, a dye workshop in the central district, two Blacksmiths in the trade district, the soon-to-be tailor shop, a pottery, five butchers, two goat farms and an apple farm right outside of the northern entrance, a tannery, a bakery and a shoemaker. As for the others, there are two small mines, one to the west and the other to the east of the city."

She takes in a breath as Yomi quirks an eyebrow towards me and I send her a nod, to which she shrugs and clicks the yes option."As per your orders, we are currently building two Hunter Bastions on each of your valley's lakes and the new Tailor's Shop will be constructed within the hour."

Notice; your sister Karin Ryszard Mayne has joined your guild; CIL CIL.

"What about the non-production buildings?" I asked her as Yomi let out a chuckle and began playing around the Guild menu."Well, we have your School, a Great Library, the currently in-construction castle and a Slave-Rehab center... your former manor, that is."

"You are using my former manor as temporary housing for the slaves?" She nods in silence."With all the damage recently caused to our city, while we have enough food and supplies to sustain the increase in population, we simply do not yet have enough housing for the number of people sire. I have decided to make use of your old manor as you no longer needed it. It now provides a temporary home to all who need it, be they slave or goblin or a previous member of the city that was unfortunate enough to lose their home. Its primary purpose is for the slaves, of course."

I shrug as she lowers her head in silence, expecting me to lash out at her. I merely laugh and place my hand onto her adorable head and wave it through her hair as if that of a child."Well done, Luciana. That was an excellent idea, one which I myself wanted to do but you beat me to it, so good on you, girl."

She lets out a massive breath of relief."Alright... well, is there anything else that you need or wish to know?"

"Yes, we appear not to have a communal barn or a marketplace. I want you to put those up for construction." Is my reply and she nods as she takes out a pencil and a piece of parchment."Any specific locations?"

"The Marketplace should be the Trade Districts gate into the central district and the Communal Barn needs to be right next to the armory and training grounds." She writes those two down and excuses herself with a bow.

Me and Yomi sit down onto a bench and I give her a look."If you want, now would be a good time for us to separate so you can go exploring. It will still take some time for our forces to gather up and equip themselves, not to mention that I need to call the members of our guild and tell them to prepare for the raid. We should also take some time off so I can go eat and stretch myself in the real world."

Yomi shrugs at me before beaming a smile and getting up from the bench."Well, I might as well do it. I shall return in about... eh, two to five hours, I guess?"

Her joking voice sends me into a deep chuckle as she turns back into the Winterfang Antediluvian and leaps away."Don't get lost! Use the map to find the city!" I yell after her in an equally joking manner, making her stop to roll her eyes at me before warping back into the forests.

Come to think of the map, I've never really looked at my city. Opening it up, I see a rather roman-like layout.

A full circle of walls surrounds the four districts of Incerum, well five if you count the outskirts. There is the central districts, which is located in the middle as the name suggests and is in the shape of a round circle. Most of the time, people don't call it the central district but the Flood District because the four artificial rivers which separate the city into districts all meet there. The Trade district takes up an area located mostly on the higher left corner of the circle, between the northernmost city gate which is curiously placed at the correct 90 degree angle and 200 degree angle west-south-west. Following right after it and taking up the area between the 200 degree angle and the 300 degree angle is the aptly named Old District, which is home to many of the more adventurer-oriented buildings such as Pawn Shops and abandoned houses which are often inhabited by newbie adventurers, alongside several taverns formed by npcs taking advantage of the players constant need to celebrate after every successful hunt... and also the need to drink themselves to death whenever they fail at something. The library is also a part of this district. The last remaining district is the Residential District which, as its name may suggest, is the home to most of my NPC's and is placed at the rightmost corner of the circle. The district is also my home, as the castle is part of its holdings, including the new Undercity being built by the goblins, the school and the Slave-Rehab Facility.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the Armory and the Training grounds are in the Old... or rather, The Adventurers District. Hmm, I should build an Auction House as soon as I'm able there considering how the number of players keeps on increasing here for some reason.... so is the size of my guild, come to think of it. Maybe the others are bringing in all of their friends.

And I honestly don't know if that is such a great thing. Anyways, lets open up the guild chat.

"Hey, everyone! I hope you guys had fun with that last raid because we're going for a big operation once again this evening!"

"What? rly? What are we gonna be doing?"

"I hope its like an event and not a raid.

"Wot? Wat is eet m8?"

I laughed at that last one."All the bad guys and girls here are gonna love this. We are going to sack a city."



"Aw cmon, bad guys only?"

I coughed loudly to quieten people down."Well, in all honestly? No, not just the bad people. You see, the city were hitting... Its a slaver outpost on the edge of our borders and I want it burned to the ground. We're also gonna free/indoctrinate the slaves which will then be escorted to Incerum by my army, then we are gonna turn the city into a full-on trap for any traveling slaver/player who is not one of ours and is coming from the outside."

"Sounds really xenophobic... I'm in!"

"Now that you mention it, it does. But... well, were not exactly strong enough to be official, much less let possible spies inside." Is my reply.

"Again though, why did call out the bad gu-sorry, people in the guild? There must be a reason."

"Because I want us to butcher each and every single person inside of the city and I doubt you goody-two-shoes have the guts to kill children. I hear their souls will make Yyl love you if you send them as a sacrifice. That said, anyone who's willing to ignore the ongoing slaughter outside and focus on freeing the slaves is welcome."

"I will come, but I refuse to kill any children." Frey's voice echoes in the guild chat and I laugh."Like I said, you're welcome so long as you don't get in my or any of the other *bad peoples* way."

"Got that, Frey?" Yvonne's amused voice enters the fray to which we receive Frey's not-so-amused reply."Fine. We'll keep out of your way."

"Good. I will also be paying anyone with over 100 inventory slots 5 that comes."

".... You got one of those people interested, now tell me why because I don't think you'll be leaving loot around."

"I need someone to carry the corpses out. If we're gonna make the outpost into a trap/shield from the unwanted, we need to clean it up after the raid. I want you guys to strip them naked and then stockpile the corpses onto the slaver wagons which will surely be scattered around the city. After that's done, deliver them to Incerum..."

"Don't tell me, they're gonna be fertilizer?" Uber asks with a semi-disgusted, semi-curious voice.

"Yup." Is my instant reply.

".... Holy shit. Well, count me in. How much are we gonna get paid tho?"

"How does... hmm, 10 silver per corpse carried sound?"

"Good enough."



"So when do we start?"

"We go in five hours. Meet me at the center of Incerum, where were gonna get ourselves organized and casually travel to the city in order to *buy supplies* for our next adventure which should provide us enough cover. Once there, we wait on my army's signal and then just start slaughtering everything around us."

"Genius, they won't suspect a thing because we're players!"

And with that, I close guild chat."Now then... where did Yomi disappear to?"

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

And that is it for this chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you've enjoyed it.

Once again, sorry for the wait.

Gotta go finish up on my D Gray Man fanfiction chapter now... see ya tomorrow, lads and lassies!

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

Log in to comment
Log In

MEAP321 @MEAP321 ago

Thanks for the chapter :)

uberfridgeking @uberfridgeking ago

Tasty tasty fertilizer. Gotta love recycling.

ofother @ofother ago

Thanks for the chapter.


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

16/08/2016 22:35:38EdwinJ Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you.

No problem! xD And don't worry, I may stop for a moment, but I NEVER QUIT.

16/08/2016 22:40:40EastTuna Wrote: [ -> ]Great, give us MORE!!!


16/08/2016 23:33:36MEAP321 Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the chapter :)

np :D

17/08/2016 00:10:22uberfridgeking Wrote: [ -> ]Tasty tasty fertilizer. Gotta love recycling.

Indeed <3

17/08/2016 01:11:25ofother Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the chapter.

np xD

Apache @Apache ago

Thanks for the chapter ;) I am glad I started reading this again after I put it on hold for some time.


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

17/08/2016 15:52:14Apache Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the chapter ;) I am glad I started reading this again after I put it on hold for some time.

And I always have to wonder why you even left...

gaigous @gaigous ago

Thanks for the chapter!

I feel a disturbance in the foreshadow, everyone knows what happens when an idol worshiper realizes his man crush isn't how he thought It would be (in his rainbow and unicorn filled fantasies). :P


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

18/08/2016 03:15:26gaigous Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the chapter!

I feel a disturbance in the foreshadow, everyone knows what happens when an idol worshiper realizes his man crush isn't how he thought It would be (in his rainbow and unicorn filled fantasies). :P

Oh they knew what he was like, the stories never lie, their fantasies are the ones that deceive and blind them to the truth. <3