Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, Everybody! How're y'all doing this fine and mighty day?



I've recently discovered a certain person on this site whose fiction managed to completely take me away.

The author of Re:Hamster is a most certainly lovable persona!

By the by, I have something interesting to ask... why da hell do I suddenly have over 8k views when it was barely 900 yesterday?

Anyhow, here comes the long-awaited lemon chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy it, let us begin.



Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...



Four hours later... - Amethyne's House - Joyde's Point Of View...



Welcome back, Destined One.

Waking up in the same place as I left this world, I let myself slide off Amethyne's bed as the usual dizziness accompanied by starvation passes away. That reminds me, I should bite into something in this world too. Taking out a piece of boar haunch I cooked earlier, I quickly gobble it down and turn to look around myself. Several footsteps echo behind me as I stand up but I pay them no mind.

A large window shows the outside world to me as I approach it, taking in the beautiful evening lights of the small town outside, its people still very much active. I wonder why is that?"Enjoying the view?"

Smirking wide as the voice of Amethyne is heard from behind me, I turn around and say."I am. And considering how it took you quite a few seconds to call me out, I take it you enjoyed your view as well."

Tilting her head cutely in confusion, she quickly blushes red as she realizes she was staring at my ass."W-w-well, you do have a nice behind, I'll admit that."

"Just nice, eh?" My smirk grows even wider as I come closer to her, closing the window in the meantime. One of my hands is quickly put around her waist, pulling her intimately close to me."So... shall we get this show on the road?"

Gulping deeply as she gets temporarily lost in my eyes, she returns my smirk as gives me a full kiss on the lips. Taking the opportunity to throw both our hands around one another, we spend a good minute kissing, our tongues dancing together in a battle for supremacy.

Deciding that now would be a good time to breathe, I separate us and beam at her as I notice a peculiar smell coming from the open door behind her. A smell comprised of velvet roses and steaming water."The eroticism of you elves never ceases to amaze me..."

She smirks at me, fully showing me her white, pearly teeth."Well, since you were quite boastful all day long, I figured we'd need something more than just the bed."

Oh my dear god, I think I'm in love with this woman already. Without verbal reply, I easily scoop her up bridal style and plant my lips onto hers as I do, carrying her towards the bathroom."Mhm!" She moans into my mouth happily as we separate, making sure not to trip over something as I walk.

Finally managing to make it to the bath after a set of heated kisses and moans, we throw aside all of our clothing in a matter of seconds as I let myself refocus on my surroundings. A massive expanse shows itself to my eyes as a natural grove pops into view.

System Notice
You've entered a hidden dungeon, Amethyne's Lunar Garden!
You are the first to discover this dungeon!
+20% to all experience earned within its bounds
Quests linked to the dungeon will affect your reputation with its inhabitants. (Currently Friendly.)
Since you've decided not to reveal Amethyne, you will gain no fame or extra loot for this discovery.

"A lunar garden... Been a while since I've last seen one of these and considering we just passed through a door inside of your house may I go ahead and guess that was a portal linked to your mana?" Another smirk etches itself upon my face as she nods, quite joyously so."Y-yes! I figured I'd have to explain it to you when we went here but you decided to do my job for me."

Chuckling to myself, I reply as I kiss her once more."Well excuse me, I could not help myself but to take such a beauty into my arms..." Blushing once more at my reply, she lets herself take in the full view of my body and smirks.

Not letting her make a comment, I pull her in close again and bring her closer to the natural hot spring in front of us, countless rose petals flowing above the water. Letting her balance herself, we sit down next to one another inside of the pool and let out a breath of relief as we both let ourselves fall deep into the relaxing pool.

Rejuvenating arcane magic arcs across the surface, a product of the pale moon's light, of Luna herself, dancing joyously as I pull her close to me."Mmmph!" She yelps out adorably as I grin, my left hand already grasping her breasts as she places her hands onto my chest.

Wasting no more time, I gently move her to be on top of me as I kiss her again, her arms thrown around me as she pulls me closer. My hands trail across her pale back, slowly massaging every spot, exploring every nook and cranny."J-Joyde! A-ah! W-w-what is? AAAHN!"

Grinning widely to myself as my physiotherapy degree comes into the play, I use my hands to feel across her entire back, pressing down whenever I find an uncomfortable knot."Like my hands, do you?"

"Mmm!" She moans out loudly as I continue my gentle caress, moving on forward as I glide my palms across her giant breasts, kneading them as I do."J-j-Joyde! I-I c-can't! A-aaaaaaaaaaahn!"

Her hips shake and shiver as her beautiful voice echoes ou-

System Notice
You've successfully made Amethyne have the first orgasm. +10% affection multiplier.

What the fu- Okay, that's it. I'm am so gonna have a long talk with that idiot soon. Harold, please turn off my notifications unless something ACTUALLY IMPORTANT HAPPENS."Done, bro. Sorry about that."

"J-Joyde? Is something wrong?" Having recovered from her euphoric spree, Amethyne looks at me worriedly, most likely scared by the anger on my face. I let out a massive sigh."One of my soon to be friends is being and idiot and bothering me right now. I just told him to fuck off, that's all."

Placing a hand on her mouth, the woman lets out an adorable laugh."Well, he's certainly off to a good start." Sarcasm..."God, I love you woman."

Blinking in surprise as she heard me say those words, she blushes an even higher crimson as I pull her in for another kiss and grab her ass with my hands. Taking one look into her eyes and receiving an embarrassed nod, I position my member at her velvet entrance.

Stopping myself from entering her instantly, I turn my head up to look deep into the white-haired beauty's eyes."Ready?"

Swallowing in excitement, she looks downwards and nods while says."Guess that's where all your ego comes from.. please, be gentle at the start, okay?"

Another beaming smile etches itself upon my face as I kiss her deeply, a thousand sparks raging across our bodies as I push in my tip, eager to enter this ethereally sensual being."As you wish, milady."

Without another waster moment, I let myself penetrate her cavern, one of her hands grasping my shoulder and another on her own mouth in an attempt to lower her own voice. Its my turn to gulp down hard as she constricts down upon me tightly, her velvet cavern already starting to milk me for all I'm worth.

Grasping at her behind, I begin to move her up and down, eliciting several gasps of ecstasy to leave her as I do. The air around us grows hotter and hotter with each rise and fall. Catching me into a leg lock, she shivers a few more times before opening her eyes and looking directly into mine."J-joyde, I'm ready now..."

Taking this as my cue, I nod at her and begin moving faster, her moans urging me to greater speeds with each strike. As I move faster and faster, I felt every inch of her pussy clenching down onto my length, our tongues lashing at one another as we kissed again.

"H-H-Harder!" She moans out and I let myself fall into abandon, increasing my tempo with rabid fervor, her ass turning red from the intimacy, each thrust bringing each of us closer and closer to our climax.

Gritting my teeth, I speed up to my maximum, causing her eyes to open wide as her head rockets backwards in pleasure."AAAAHN!" As another moan escapes her lips, I feel her cavern constricting down upon me even harder with her second orgasm, milking me even more greedily as I explode inside of her.

"Grh!" I grunt and then let myself breathe out in relief as I feel myself releasing within her depths. With heated breathing, I feel my primal instincts taking over as I stand up with her still on me."J-Joyde!?" She yelps out cutely as she manages to keep me in a leg-lock, my hands carrying her by the ass. Chuckling to myself and not bothering to explain anything, I let go of her ass and hug her close to my chest, making her breasts press onto me as I do.

Gulping down hard as she figures out what I'm about to do, she begins."J-joyde, let me re-AH!" Interrupting her as I slam myself back inside of her still dripping pussy, I restart my pounding of her tight hole which offers a rather pleasurable amount of resistance.

Letting her breathe easier by lessening my hold on her back, I quicken my pace and she grasps around me with both of her hands, holding tightly for dear life as I slam myself in and out of her without mercy. She moans into my neck erotically before turning her adorable head upwards with some tears in her eyes, she begins to say something but I interrupt her again, this time with another deep kiss."Mmmmph!"

Releasing her from the kiss, I finally say."Shh, let me take care of you, okay?"

With a blink, she nods at me and pulls me closer, allowing me to hold her easier as I resume pounding her. Her tight ass shivers with each slam and I let myself go completely, my raging member easily pounding through what little resistance her cavern still offered.

Feeling my climax approaching, I let go off her back and grab her ass again as I speed up even more, our fluids splashing across the waters of the hot spring as I kiss her again, her body shivering with every thrust as I feel her constricting upon me again."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!" Her head rockets backwards again as she orgasms, my cock managing to penetrate her womb as I reach my own climax.

Standing there, shaking and shivering from the sheer euphoria, we fall down back into the waters as I watch a bulge form upon her stomach. We sit there, in that same spot for a good ten minutes, enjoying ourselves to the fullest with kisses and moans echoing throughout the garden.

"Turns out we won't need the bed at all, now will we?" She says with a grin on her face as she lets me slip out of her as we both let out a breath of relief, an amazingly empty feeling dancing across my lower half.

Grinning at her once the haze passes away, I pull her close once again."Hey, its not like this will be a one time thing." I say with a smile and kiss her deeply, making sure to fill it with passion and as much love as I could.

She returns my kiss with happiness clear in her frame and replies once we separate."I hope so." She hopes so?

Blinking at her reply, I ask."What do you mean by that? Is something wrong, Amethyne?"

Suddenly looking downwards, she seemingly gets lost in thought for a moment before answering."H-hey... since I told you about your church... its only a matter of time before you visit Lun-Adorey and..."

She stops, almost as if unsure of what to say. Damn it, this is definitely a quest for something big. Think Joyde, think, what coul-Oh, shes a spy."You.. have a report you need delivered but can't because of the guards?"

Her eyes grow wide as she turns her head upwards to look at me with pleading eyes and I smile, answering her before she even asks."Of course I'd be willing to deliver it for you. But! At least tell me what's it about later."

Tilting her head in confusion, she asks."Umm, why later?"

I couldn't help myself but let out a laugh as I point downwards, making her apparently remember the situation were in right now. But before the either of us could make a joke about it, she lets out a gasp in surprise."Hah!?"

Now, its my turn to be worried."Amethyne, what's wrong?"

"S-s-someone's attacking my shop! I placed magic defenses and they're holding but they won't last long enough for me to create an illusion!" She replies, fear growing in her voice as we leave the hot spring and she uses a quick heat spell to dry us off.

Who would be attacking her now... unless."Nothing like a long slaughter after a hot screw..." I mutter out, blood thirst clear in my voice as she turns to look at me strangely."Joyde? What do you-?"

She tries to say but her answer appears in front of her as we are teleported back into her room fully clothed, with the whole guild army of *Sel and Friends* doing their best to break down the barrier in front of the shop, having most likely received word of me being here by that guy I let go earlier today.

"Tell me, how long does it take for the guards to arrive in this town?" I ask Amethyne with a creepily calm voice and she replies, fully realizing what I'm about to do."For a force of this size? About twenty minutes or so... you don't actually want to go and fight them alone, do you?"

Turning around to her, I say."And risk revealing you to the city? Even if I don't go out now, your cover will be blown once the guards search through your shop and find elven runes carved into the wood."

She gasps and I turn back around as I walk down the stairs while saying."Nah. Instead what I'm gonna do is go outside, tear apart a bunch of retards and get famous for it while also getting myself even higher on your list."

I wink at her and the elven woman blushes yet again and then runs to the side, eager to reform her illusion and hide whatever evidence needs to be hidden.

Facing the door in front of me, I promptly kick it open, scaring several idiots which stood around it as their friends are thrown aside. Cracking my neck as I see Selindra herself standing on top of a statue overseeing the situation, I grin savagely and make my scythes erupt out in their full glory.

"LET THE FUN, BEGIN!" My enraged scream echoed out throughout the young night alongside that of the fool closest to me at that time...

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

And that is it for this chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you've enjoyed reading it as much as I did typing it down.

AHA, FIRST LEMON DONE. I'll admit its not my best work but I hope its good enough for at least some of you... and I did give you all a fair warning, that *DRAMA* was going to be a huge part of this story.

The MC is a rather edgy person, after all. xD

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!!!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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Nolo @Nolo ago

Thanks for the lemons!!!

Also, If you like Re: Hamster, know that I gave the idea for the "Supreme Lord Of The Night" or "SLOTN" skill, it's my pride and joy and one of my greatest ideas of all time.


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

12/04/2016 16:19:33Nolo Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the lemons!!!

Also, If you like Re: Hamster, know that I gave the idea for the "Supreme Lord Of The Night" or "SLOTN" skill, it's my pride and joy and one of my greatest ideas of all time.

DUDE! That's so cool! :D

Vietxtreme @Vietxtreme ago

Just waiting for the other dark soul to appear and help slaughter people with him. Afterall learning from the best helps.


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

13/04/2016 06:17:25Vietxtreme Wrote: [ -> ]Just waiting for the other dark soul to appear and help slaughter people with him. Afterall learning from the best helps.

Erm, what "other"... "dark" soul are we talking about here?

Chaos is not dark, its red.

dan @dan ago

Quite enjoyable, hope there'll be more.

Casul_Reader @Casul_Reader ago

I enjoy the series! Gonna recommend this to my readers if you don't mind. :)


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

14/04/2016 03:01:07dan Wrote: [ -> ]Quite enjoyable, hope there'll be more.

WoW thanks!

14/04/2016 10:36:29 Wrote: [ -> ]I enjoy the series! Gonna recommend this to my readers if you don't mind. :)

You.. I can't even describe how happy this comment has made me! Thank you!

admira @admira ago

That was...skillful. Really. I've read enough bad smut to realize how much I hate it. But this, I liked.


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

25/04/2016 06:46:51admira Wrote: [ -> ]That was...skillful. Really. I've read enough bad smut to realize how much I hate it. But this, I liked.

Hehe, I've had practice. I mean, as someone who's written over 42k words in porn, this much should be expected.

JayTeeee @JayTeeee ago

Well.......someone has fantasies about himself *cough* author lol