Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everyone! How are you guys doing?

Okay so, first things first. I am typing this chapter in a cross legged position while on my bed and the computer being a good meter away from me.

Its not exactly comfortable or easy, but I'll do it for you guys and girls!

The second part of chapter 5 anyways... after that, you'll have to wait for me to return home which is most likely tomorrow late evening. However, I have college early in the morning on the following day which might make it impossible for me do type anything even then.

The most you'll have to wait would be till Saturday or Friday, depending on weather my pregnant professor comes back or not.

Anyways, here comes part two of chapter five of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Several Minutes Later... - The Small Town Of Sudan  - Joyde's Point Of View...

Walking into the town as casually as I did granted me the ability to see yet another well-thought out ambush by the guild, *Sel and Friends*.

Seriously, there's at least twenty people here right now... this chick better be a supermodel in real life or something."There he is! Attack!"

The mass of low leveled baboons came rushing towards me with Selindra smiling evilly in the back as I let out a massive sigh. Surprisingly, the guards of the town come rushing to my side, the high-leveled elite captain standing in between me and the charging idiots."What is the meaning of this foolish charade?"

One of the wannabe-boyfriends yells into the guards face."That bastard insulted our lady, he must pay for that with his life! And anyways, can't you see that he is evil incarnate?!"

The old soldier just places a hand onto his forehead in annoyance before turning around to face me."And? What's your part of the story?"

"I don't remember insulting her at all. However, I was attacked by her and three others while hunting boars for their skins in the forest, most likely because the girl was eager to earn some easy fame. I defended myself, she got stomped and now she's summoned all of her wannabe-boyfriends to hunt me down. End of story." I tell him calmly as I take several boar skins out of my inventory. He sees them and takes note of their high quality.

"Ah, you must be the guy everyone is talking about these past few hours. I heard you roughed up some of my men pretty bad and then gave them expensive healing potions afterwards when they made a similar mistake." Nodding towards the man, I store the skins back into my pack and turn around to go towards Mara's Emporium.

"In any case, am I free to go now? Time's a wasting and I really want to make some money today." The man nods back to me in respect, connecting the dots as he realized I want to hurry and sell the skins before somebody else hogs the trade and their value lessens.

"Yes, you may go, Mr Joyde. We'll deal with these miscreants." He says as the elite guards charge the mob of idiots, promptly causing them to run away in fear.

"Thank you, sir." I bow towards him as I leave, laughing silently as the woman known as Selindra starts to fume exponentially.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Seconds later... - Mara's Weaving Emporium - Joyde's Point Of View...

"I'm back!" My rather excited voice echoes somewhat loudly, waking Mara who seems to have fallen asleep while drooling on her counter.

Contrary to what it may sound like, I think this was a rather adorable sight."H-hi, J-Joyde. You've already gotten all the skins?"

"Well yeah. I mean, there's no way I'd actually allow myself to be late for what comes next, right beautiful?" She flushes red once more as I approach her and place all of the skins onto her counter.

She counts them and revels in their quality as I lean onto the counter, watching her will clear intent as she blushes even redder under my gaze. Using my Living Aura by instinct, I notice that her body heat isn't fully proportional to her shape and form.

How interesting."J-Joyde? There's more skins here than necessary and since they're all high quality.. I can't pay you the same amount as I would to Luciana."

Shaking my head out of my stupor, I answer her with a beaming smile."No worries, the other eight are yours for free."

Smiling at me, she repeats."Thanks, but since you didn't get it, let me repeat myself more clearly. Since they're all high quality, I don't have the money to pay you."

"That's fine too. Just give me the same amount you'd have given Luciana... you'll be earning their worth later tonight either way." Grinning at her as I say this, she giggles at me.

"You really can't wait for it, can you?" She asks me with a wry smile as I shrug and extend my hands aside."Well, I've been asleep for a good two hundred years so please excuse me if I seem a bit Blue Balled."

Laughing at my words, she pulls out a delicate coin purse."A fair point. Anyways, here's the purse and not a coin less than necessary."

Taking the coin into my hands, I take out several pieces of trainee clothing."I was wondering if you could.. teach me how to repair clothes. I seem to have forgotten the skill all together when I was reborn."

"And you want to use the trainee clothes to learn quicker? Smart. Yes, I'd be willing to teach you. In fact, I have a skill book right here." She takes out said skill book entitled Repair, as she turns her head to look at me once more."Think of it as my return gift to your gift."

"Alright then." I say as I take the skill book into my pockets and then pull her in for another deep kiss before leaving."See you tonight, my elven beauty."

As I turn around, she starts shaking and I stop myself from leaving the shop with a blink."Mara? What's wrong??"

"H-how... how did you know?" She breaks her illusion spell, revealing to my eyes a white-haired beauty with an amazing set of double D's and long, alabaster legs, clad in a typical elven evening gown. Shaking my head and wiping aside some drool which I hope she didn't see, I approach her with a sad smile on my face. Taking this chance, I hug her close before replying."You've read stories describing me, right?"

"Y-yeah... but they can't all be true, right?.. The Archon of Chaos sees and hears no lies... I believed it to be little more than a fairy tale for such a person to exist." I grin at her words as I press her closer to me, heated breaths escaping her blushing form.

"And yet, he's right here in front of you." Gazing deep into my golden eyes with her pale, teal ones, she gently separates us."Yes, I suppose he is... since you haven't reported me to the guards all this time means that I can trust you with my secret, right?"

Closing her eyes, she continues."My real name is Amethyne and I am a spy for the Lunarian Theocrac-mmph!" I interrupt her as I place a finger on her cute, pink lips.

Wonder how they'll feel around me later tonight, hehe."Baby, I don't really care about your race. Chaos does not discriminate against anyone and besides, you being an elf..."

Leaning into her ear, I whisper hotly as I give her neck a long, hungry lick."... only makes me hornier.."

And then I let her go, promptly cracking my neck as I turn around towards the door to leave the shop."And sides', you're already keeping my true identity a secret. Tis' only fair that I do the same, no?"

Nodding at me with a flabbergasted expression, the incredibly adorable elven woman, quite possibly a hundred years old by now, silently watches me from behind as I wave her goodbye and leave the shop.

"Holy hell, with this much foreplay... tonight's gonna be a loong night." I mutter out silently to myself as I turn towards Luciana's General Store, the delicate pouch safely stored inside of my inventory.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Several Minutes Later... - Luciana's General Store - Joyde's Point Of View...

"Mister Joyde!" Luciana's young and rather cheery voice echoes from my front as I enter her shop.

"Hi Luciana! How have you been?" I ask her as I approach her counter.

"Oh, its been okay. I've only had two more customers after you but... wait why are you asking me that?" She tilts her head in confusion as I come closer.

Wordlessly, I take out the coin pouch and place it onto her counter."Tell me girl, do you know what this is?"

"... its... its the pouch of money which.. which Miss Mara would have given me w-when y-y-you... got me the... the skins..." She lowers her head down in silent depression as she likely believes I've sold her out.

Letting out a massive sigh, I place my hand onto her adorable little head."Yes, that's it. And this pouch is my gift for you."

"H-huh?" Having already had tears form in her eyes, she looks up at me full of hope and I have to stop myself from squealing from the cuteness.

I beam at her with my best smile."You see, me and Mara met earlier today and I told her about your proposition. She was really angry, y'know? But it wasn't at me."

She nods."Y-yes.. she would be a-angry at m-me b-because I t-told you about h-her re-request."

"So we cooked up a deal. I would gather the necessary skins, all of which were the best quality possible, might I add and then she would pay me the same amount she would have given you. Once that was done, I'd come by to give you the money. Now, do you know why we did this?" I ask her as she sniffs into her sleeve, still a little shaken but recovering.

".. I don't know... Why?" She asks me as I soften my look and reply."We wanted to teach you a valuable lesson as a merchant. You could have just asked me to gather some skins in exchange for a fair payment depending on the quality of the skins. Telling me about the fact that Mara needed those skins herself, allowed me to just go and sell them to her which would have left you penniless and if it was anyone other than me who got this quest... They would probably spread rumors about you being easy to fool, thus bringing you closer and closer to losing your shop."

She nods at me with widening eyes, still slightly sad about what happened, but suddenly, she cheers up with a face as bright as ever. She then throws her arms around me in a big hug and I smile as I hug her back."Thanks, Mister Joyde! I'll remember the lesson forever!"

Quest Alert! (Success)
Summary - Luciana of Sudan has offered you an opportunity to gather twelve boar skins in exchange for 40/60 profits... The forty apparently being her share. Trusting your instincts, you have denied your share and and are willing to give them for free.
Chaotic Path - ... your immense insight has revealed a secret option to this quest. As per your deal with Mora, you will gather the skins and sell them to her at whatever price she and Luciana have previously decided on and then you will give the money earned to Luciana as a gift, teaching her a valuable lesson as a merchant in the meantime.
Luciana now adores you. +200% Speech when interacting with her.
Mara's (Amethyne) respect of you has grown immensely, but she still thinks you are a pervert.
Speech has increased by 20.
Your reputation with the Town Of Sudan has increased to Town Hero.
Fame increased by 50.

System Alert!
Your Chaos Soul rewards you for taking its preferred course of action!
Your Strength has increased by 20.
Your Agility has increased by 5.
Your Intelligence has increased by 20.
Your Insight has increased by 20 and has been turned into Vitality. (Chaotic Life-Force effect applied. Bonuses Doubled! 400hp gained.)

Four. Hundred. Health. Gained.

From just this stupid, tiny, insignificant level one quest.

I'm gonna be a world boss soon at this rate. My grin seems to have unsettled the poor girl in my arms as she separates herself from me."Mister Joyde?"

"A-ah, sorry about that. Anyways, now that that's done, how about you take a look at my gathered wares?" She blinks before beaming at me once more and quickly browsing through all the items I've gathered in the forest but haven't had time to make use of them.

Namely, the bones, the loot from the myriad of players... and the like.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

And that is it for part two of chapter five!... and there appears to be a part of the chapter stuck to the bottom and I cant seem to delete it for some reason ._.

Okay, never mind. I got it.

I know, I know. Its something I promised yesterday, but things aren't as easy as it seems.

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!!!!!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

27/03/2016 16:53:52alexanderyou Wrote: [ -> ]~Yay~



Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

27/03/2016 17:13:48 Wrote: [ -> ]I want more!

And you'll have more... in due time. ;D

Vietxtreme @Vietxtreme ago

The clocks ticking, and yet i dnt see more chapters to come. What will i ever know about the chaos that is to spread?


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

27/03/2016 22:11:16Vietxtreme Wrote: [ -> ]The clocks ticking, and yet i dnt see more chapters to come. What will i ever know about the chaos that is to spread?

I don't know where you're from but it just turned to morning for me right now xD

If you are from America then we have opposite day/night cycles which will make things somewhat hard for you.

Once you see this reply, I'll proly need another 6  hours at least to come back home from my mothers place.

admira @admira ago

Man, that chaos soul doesn't discriminate, does it? BTW, it's nice to see some foreplay before the snu-snu.


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

25/04/2016 06:33:07admira Wrote: [ -> ]Man, that chaos soul doesn't discriminate, does it? BTW, it's nice to see some foreplay before the snu-snu.

"Snu-snu without foreplay is no snu-snu at all." --> random wise dude voice I heard in my head when I read your comment.


But in all seriousness, writing smex without any real foreplay like this is just a sign of inexperience or a bad habit.


Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

03/07/2016 20:24:15Killashard Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the chapter!