Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How're you all doing this fine day?

Eyy u all.

How's it going?


Seems like most of you enjoyed the lemon, though a certain someone said that it was somewhat dull.

I don't really know.

It does not seem to be that bad, apart from the copious amounts of mistakes made and edits necessary to fix it.

Anyways, here comes the newest chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

The Eighth Of October, year 2022 - The Unknown - Audrey's Point Of View...

"Auugh... oh dear god... my head..." Muttering out in pain as my waking headache tore through my skull and kept on pounding even as my eyes slowly adjusted to my surroundings, I clutched my forehead with both hands as I attempted to stabilize myself.

This was one of those headaches that you get when you are both extremely hungover and have received multiple blows to the head before going to sleep.

The kind which makes you wonder if something that might be worth going to the doctor for had happened.

The kind which makes you fully capable of feeling the outer edges of your own damn, inflamed brain."Hahahahhaha... truly, you possess a way with words, milady."

A familiar voice echoed in my mind as my eyes opened fully, taking in the scope of my surroundings. I appeared to be in... some kind of wilderness.

A forest... of shadows.

A meadow without a single color, yet dizzying to look at nonetheless."Ahh, yes. This garden may have such an affect upon you... perhaps, I should have chosen a more suitable place for one such as yourself."

Finally, my humorous captor or savior enters my field of vision, a massive shade-colored being with what appeared to be two hands behind his back and two up front, extending towards me in a rather gentlemanly gesture."Who are you?"

The purplish monstrosity blinked at my confusion, chuckling in surprise as I placed my hand into his anyways to help pull myself up."We have already met, little lady. Though, perhaps I have yet to properly introduce myself..."

The fiend took a step back, two arms still behind his back as he used the other two to bow, seemingly without the intention to mock me."Oh dear, I would never even think of doing something even remotely alike!" He exclaimed as two distinct black orbs moved up and down, his eyes I think, in utter horror.

I shook my head at the apparent shadow butler."Anyways, you were about to tell me your name?"

He grinned at me, a show which made his shark-like teeth which shone like malignant diamonds very dangerously apparent."I was... however, this is not truly my name, merely the name of my previous charge which I had taken.. along with his soul. You may refer to me as, Arsene."

"The Phantom Thief? So he was real?" The shadow laughed and nodded only to shake his head in negative right afterwards. I blinked and cringed, this behavior reminded me of Leonardo. Taking that into account, I deduced the untold meaning behind his body language."In another dimension he is very much real, but in this one he is not."

The shadow seemed to be taken aback."... So young, yet you can already read minds? Now that is a lev-hmm?" He stopped as he noticed me waving my hand in front of my face."I can't read your mind. Your actions reminded me of my brother who is basically the definition of insanity. Once I had that connection established, I merely spouted the most unbelievable bullshit that came to mind."

Now, the gentlemanly phantom-thief/shadow was genuinely confused."I.. I think you lost me, little lady."

I waved my hand in front of me again to indicate that it didn't really matter anyways."Anyways, you're Arsene. My name is Audrey Zatara, though you probably already knew this. Now, taking into account what happened before I lost consciousness..."

Taking a look around me once more, I conclude."... this is the void, isn't it?"

But before I could get an answer out of the shadow, I finally noticed how I was fully, totally naked."Ah!" What little modesty I had made me cover myself with my hands and immediately change my thought process to clothing.

Within seconds of my surprised yelp however, shadows began to coil around me, weaving themselves into a black set of clothing, a beautiful, comfortable dress which I often use for social outings... or, at least, the voids interpretation of this dress.

First, the shadows around my legs collapsed together to form two black and pink stockings which then extended to my feet to create purplish high heels which seemed to have a shining polish. Then the darkness moved upwards to my thigh and breast, forming very comfortable black underwear which had the familiar feel of natural silk, just my kind of taste in material.

After that, the darkness spread around my body to form a type of skintight suit which would have looked like something a playboy bunny would wear if it hadn't been for the fact that it covered my arms and neck as well. The darkness continued to dance across my form, collapsing into feathered shoulder-pads akin to something you'd see on an evil game sorceress. The crow's black feathers then extended downwards, forming a beautiful pale-black cloak around me which shone in the darkness.

Lastly, the dark once again weaved itself onto my arms to form intricate gloves or gauntlets, I can't really say which. Their silken black form was made further enchanting by the strange, runic symbols etched into them... but the darkness around my hands did not disperse or collapse, as it continued dancing around my hands as I lost myself looking at it.

Its intricate, powerful dance mesmerized me, almost as if telling me to use it. Black knowledge filled my mind with every second and just as the shadows did the finishing touches onto my new clothing, ensuring that not a single bit of my skin apart from my face was visible for some reason, I realized it.

The shadows, the darkness... they did not weave themselves. I did this.

I.. did...

This..."Hmm, regalia truly worthy of a queen!"

Arsene spoke with a tone full of flattery as I put my hands into my newly formed cloak, a mass of darkness coiling around my head and tying my messy, discolored hair into a ponytail. Since when did my hair become pink? Oh well, probably just an effect of the void."Thanks... so uh, what happens now?"

He appeared to be somewhat stupefied and lost himself, despite seeming to be my guide."Well... honestly, my other contracts don't exactly... know, where the hell they are or what the fuck is going on, if I may be so rude. First meetings are usually spent with me either chasing my contracts around as I do my best to explain what is happening to them... but that does not appear to be necessary for you."

"I see... well, what do you do after you manage to calm a contract down?" I asked him as I turned my head around to find that the bed I was sleeping on has seemingly disappeared... wait, bed?

There was a bed?


The void must be playing tricks on me."Well, once we manage to get off that first shaky ground, we do several things, one of which you've accomplished just now; the formation of your very own Shadow Form!"

"Shadow Form?" Questioning him as he motions us forward with a single hand and then nodding toward him as we begin to walk through the forest...

Or is this a meadow of colorless, dark flowers?

Hmm, it seems my memory and my sight are not very in tune with this place yet."Do not worry, little lady. Your mortal eyes will eventually get used to the ever-changing landscape of this place, but for now please do try your best to endure and not get disoriented."

He answers my unasked question with elder-like patience, to which I merely nod. This shadow... he is very, very, VERY old. Arsene smiled at me, seemingly approving of my assessment of him via mind reading.

Or maybe he can just hear my thoughts. Anyways, I shook my head out of my stupor as the old shadow continued his explanation."Now then, where was I? Oh yes, the Shadow Form. You see, everything that has ever entered the void, became a direct part of it. This applies to us shadows as well, who are told to be either the remnants of the original void dwellers or the transformed versions of whatever poor mortals first came into this plane of existence."

"Now, while those like I have been born within the void, there are those who clearly are not originally from here." We stopped as he said this and looked to our left to find some kind of shadow wolf devouring a shadow rabbit."These two specimens, along with yourself, are such cases of formerly mortal creatures who have, for one reason or another, arrived here."

"They haven't been here long, have they?" Arsene nodded in approval."Indeed. The wolf and rabbit you see have only been here for a few days now. This can be easily deduced from the fact that their forms are still largely Earth-like. One can easily see that the wolf is a wolf and that the bunny, though half-eaten, is a bunny."

"Does that mean that I will change the longer I stay here?" I asked him with a quirked eyebrow, to which the old shadow laughed."Well, yes and no. Nothing is really that simple when it comes to you humans... In my experience, you do change over time, albeit not in the physical sense. The void likes to tamper with your brains much more than your physical form. In fact, most humans who have become denizens of the void still retain their original human forms, despite having spent thousands of years here."

"Nobody can be the same person they were a thousand years ago, old shadow. That said, they have been here for thousands of years? Does that make them immortals?" I asked as we stopped again, this time in front of a stream of what appeared to be pure darkness, mimicking the flow of a river.

I put my hand inside of this dark river and felt a surge of energy flow through my body, calming and soothing me. The dark river responded to my presence and I felt something tingle in my head, a memory being.. copied?

Soon, the fake, makeshift river began looking more and more alike to an actual river, with the exception of color as it was purple instead of clear. Then again, taking pollution into account, it may not be far off.

After that, the river evolved the ability to create reflections in its waters, allowing me to take a good look at myself.

Dark cracks appeared around my eyes which seemed to have changed colors to match my hair. My formerly blue eyes now shone a bright, somewhat menacing pink as the cracked skin around them reeled with energy leaking out of it. Darkness flowed freely from the apparent wounds on my face as I touched them to find that they did not feel like scars at all.

In fact, it seemed to be a defensive measure, a way for my brain to push out dark energies it could not control. I noticed that the flow of darkness seemed to be rather slow, which made me conclude that I could command quite a bit of dark energy without needlessly throwing it away.

A flash of pride surged within me as I stood up, receiving an approving nod from Arsene as we continued the walk."To answer your previous question, you are now a being of darkness. Though you retain your physical mortal form, which will age, wither and die like any other normal human being unless you decide to make sure it does not, your Shadow Form, that is your current one, is effectively eternal. Why eternal? Because you can be killed. You can die, which means you aren't immortal, but this cannot happen from something like age, disease or even wounds, theoretically."

"Theoretically?" I tilted my head sideways in confusion."Wait, don't tell me... You called my mortal form physical which means this form is not physical which probably means that its made out of sheer energy. If that energy dissipates completely, then I'm gone." I concluded, much to the surprise of Arsene, who nodded approvingly once more."

"Indeed, all beings of the void are creatures of shadow and darkness. This ... energy, as you called it, cannot truly disappear from simply age, though it does grow thicker and thicker as time goes on." He explains as I finish for him."And while wounds can scatter some of that energy away, it can be recovered?"

Another nod as we stopped again, this time in front of another shadow rabbit... though this one seemed familiar. Wait, its the same bunny that wolf was eating before..."Huh?"

The bunny in question was staring right at me, its crimson glowing eyes appeared to be exuding copious amounts of sheer hatred towards me. What the hell?!

The bunny then leapt at me but I didn't manage to defend myself in time due to shock. Thankfully, Arsene caught it and threw it to the ground, a prison of shadows growing around its body as it fell."Whats going on?" I asked Arsene, to which the old shadow merely smiled."You tell me, little lady. This bunny seems to have an incredible amount of hate, directed solely towards you."

Stopping dead in my tracks, I took another look at the bunny. It was certainly familiar... but my mind told me that it was not simply because I saw a wolf eat it a couple minutes ago.

I knelt down and reached with a hand towards the bunny, causing it to leap for my hand in order to bite me as soon as I was in range.


I remember now.

Arsene caught me chuckling madly to myself and asked."Little lady? Is everything all right?"

"Skittles." I replied, as if that answered everything to which Arsene appeared even more confused, though I am sure he already knows what I meant simply by reading my mind.

But fine, I'll play his game."This is Skittles. A bunny one of my suitors bought last Christmas... It looked really cute so I took it, but when I tried to pet it back at home, it bit my hand and caused me to have to swallow one of those disgusting regel pills since I didn't want it to become a scar and just using the regel directly onto my hand would leave an ugly white mark."

"Oh?" The old shadow questioned and grinned as he read my mind."What happened next?"

"Well, it turns out that rabbit meat actually tastes really good, especially when the rabbit in question earned ones hatred and is watching you eat its parts." I replied with a savage grin on my face, causing the rabbit to take a few steps back as I fondly remembered devouring him bit by bit, keeping him alive with regel as I cut parts of him off and had my maids cook them, right before eating said parts slowly in front of him.

Thinking of the fond memory made me feel hungry.

So, without really thinking about it, I reached with my gloved hand for the rabbit and grabbed it by the neck before sinking my teeth into him. To my surprise, there was no real taste on my tongue as the rabbit dissolved, his energies flowing into my stomach, making me feel stronger with each passing second as I completely devoured its apparent Shadow Form.

No.. not just his Shadow Form... I ate his soul.

And I loved every single second of it... this makes me wonder what the souls of others really taste like.

I stood up and turned towards Arsene as bits of dark energy still wandered around my mouth, all that remained of the twice-eaten bunny named Skittles."So this event was meant to teach me how to eat as a Shadow?"

The old shadow nodded for the umpteenth time today and replied with pride in his tone."Indeed. Though most of my contracts usually make a whole lot of drama about this particular event, some even taking days on end to complete it properly, you appear not to have a single regret, despite the action undertaken being ... quite delightfully sickening."

"Well me and my family aren't really... human. Or rather, we aren't normal humans, anyways." I explained as we continued the walk to which the shadow put a hand on his chin in thought."Indeed? I must say that you are not normal Inhumans either then."

I took a look down as I turned to face Arsene, finally noticing how he didn't actually have legs, rather a mass of perpetually twisting shadows appeared below his mostly humanoid torso."Inhumans? You mean as in the vampires, werewolves, that sort of thing?"

Another nod was my answer."Yes, the Inhumans and the humans of your world... I have had many contracts with both, yet none quite as twisted as you. I would like to understand more of what exactly makes you different, so that once you eventually outgrow me, I may find another such a talented child to make my charge."

Shrugging at the old shadow, I replied."Then you might as well wait till I decide to become a mother so you can make my son or daughter your charge."

He blinked in confusion."Oh? And why is that?"

"Because I don't think that you'll find people like me anywhere else than inside of my family." Arsene blinked again at my reply before receding backwards in seeming defeat."I see... Perhaps I shall simply wait and see before making my conclusion, though the evidence presented so far does point in your direction."

We stopped yet again, this time in front of what appeared to be a floating piece of paper... a scroll tinged with what was supposedly gold, albeit colored purple and eerily glowing in the darkness. Arsene approached and gingerly took the scroll into his hands."Ah, it would appear that we are at an end of this delightful conversation, for it is time to finalize our contract."

A piece of my heart fell as I remembered what was happening... I was about to forge a contract with a shadow, a being of the void. A tinge of fear crept into my heart, but I quickly shooed it away as Arsene began talking."As the contract currently stands, I am to be your charge and teach you the ways of the Void and its people while also attending to my duties as Chancellor of these Shadowlands."

I blinked, this was not what I was expecting."Wait, what?"

He blinked at my confusion before an ooh sound escaped him, seemingly remembering that he never really explained what was going on."Ah, forgive me. Your talents have made me forget to explain the reason why we are here in the first place. You see little lady, we shadows operate on a very detailed system of government, one that is very democratic in nature and, as such, ensures that it has people of all levels, races and societal status within its government. We currently lack a human Chancellor as the last one met an unfortunate end at the hands of intergalactic heroes and you, are one of the chosen candidates."

Flabbergasted, yet also very interested, I inquired of the old shadow."So you are supposed to be my teacher? What exactly do I get from becoming a Chancellor of shadows?"

He extended his hands around us."Well, for one, the lands you see around you right now would become your rightful territory. Earth itself is considered a special world, a physical anomaly to the void with no other world even remotely alike it, whose existence brings birth to countless beings of shadow every passing second and thus, requires a very powerful and talented Chancellor to keep it from unworthy, greedy hands. We do not know why your world exactly is this way, or why you humans have the mental capacity to not only become shadows yourselves but to also passively provide enough dark energy to feed the birth of millions everyday, but you should know that your kind is very dear to us as around 20% of our nations current population is born of human emotion, which when you take into account that we have more than fifty worlds in our territory, becomes an almost absurd fact. This will ensure that you, as the Chancellor, will never have problems with manpower, as millions of shadows all over our nation will flock to your banner."

"Nation? Territory? So the void is not one whole, eh?" I questioned in an almost rhetorical tone."No, it is not. We are divided much the same as you physicals are... truthfully, the term shadow is rather equal to the term *organic* or even *sentient*. The nation you will eventually belong to is called The Democratic Union Of Hastre, named after the first mortal world we consumed and thus, colonized."

"So you are called Hastrean?" A nod from the old shadow was my answer yet again just as a portal opened itself behind me and, figuring that this meant my time here has come to an end, I turned around to walk away but was stopped by Arsene as he pointed towards the contract scroll."Ahh, before you go, please sign here. Though it is not necessary to do this immediately as you are clearly a promising candidate, it will save me a monstrous amount of paperwork if you do it now."

A blink and a nod was my reply as I looked into my right hand and imagined a pen, causing darkness to collapse together to form said pen... albeit in a bit more monstrous form than I had imagined as it seemed to be made of bone.

Bunny bone.

Laughing at the notion, I promptly sighed the scroll and waved Arsene goodbye as I walked into the portal and promptly opened my eyes to a familiar ceiling, that is my real world rooms ceiling.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

And that is it for this chapter of EUPHORIA! I hope you liked it!

I most certainly did!

Now, next chapter will be in Michael's POV as well I figure that since both of his younger siblings get superpowers I might as well set him on the proper path as well.

Though, his powers will be revealed later on and the next chapter will merely be an introductory one with its second part being your beloved litRPG.

... by the way, this chapter is one of the biggest I've written for this story as of yet. xD

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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imnotverysorry @imnotverysorry ago

oooo, that was an epic chapter. Thank you Lord Joyde, for gracing us with this amazing creation Tongue

gaigous @gaigous ago

Well, I can already tell the shadows aren't going to join Gaia, You don't fuck with a countries bread basket without heavy retaliation.

And what the hell kind of sex life is that guy leading, to say hot kitsune pun isn't meeting the standard?

Also, any news on the other fiction?


    Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

    Hehe, pretty much. Its eventually going to devolve into a question of weather they want to keep and potentially upgrade the status quo (if humanity does not die out, they will reach for the stars, expand and potentially create more bread baskets, though not of the same quality) or wake up a potental usurper Empress who is most likely going to ruin their democracry and burn it to the ground.

    Arsene is an old shadow but Gaia is an even older one. There is going to be a whole lot happening in the future on that particular note Very Happy

    As for "the guy"'s sex life, I'm actually quite sure that there is none. Yet. But this is personal info so I won't divulge anymore :)

    And as for Destiny: Infernal... I sort of have an idea of what I'm going to do with it, but its stupidly difficult to find the time and effort needed to add the finishing touches, at least in my brain.

    I need to have the story's end, mid and present realized before I can start typing. The problem lies in the fact that I want my worlds to be as melleable as possible.

      gaigous @gaigous ago

      Too bad Uranus got shanked by that bastard of a son of his, he could have at least kept her occupied with other things than plotting Armageddon, Cronus always sounds cool until you hear the part on how he got into power (following mommies secret orders while at the same time thinking the betrayal was his own idea lol)

      Gaia seemed like the type who doesn't consider losing to be in the cards, which to me means she's an arrogant idiot, a very very powerful arrogant idiot, with lots of followers, and an excellent pair of jugs (she's the earth mother so I assume that's the case Tongue).

      Why are Powerful idiots always blessed with tons of followers? It's almost like charisma is a stat they choose to dump all their points into over intelligence or wisdom..............


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

      Idiocy = Stupidity = Ignorance = Not knowing the details = not knowing all the things that could go bad = not thinking about all the things that could go bad = "Charisma"

Verienn @Verienn ago

One can never have enough insanity

Derwipe @Derwipe ago

Thanks for the chapter and skittles demise was too good xD eat parts of him infront of him while keeping him alife Brutal

BlackStarLIne @BlackStarLIne ago

Now this was a nice chapter. I think i'm gonna like Arsene. Seems like an interesting guy.

loliZ321 @loliZ321 ago

yah another chapter also are we sure she's a ragecat she seemed pretty chill to me

yipiheygame @yipiheygame ago

Joyde, last chapter, I believe you pointed me toward the review titled "SELF FULFILLMENT FANTASY (SPOILERS), UP TO ARRIVAL OF DAWN (16), STRONG LANGUAGE"

Is that the right one?


    Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago



    The review is literally titled "RACIST"... unless he deleted it lol

      yipiheygame @yipiheygame ago

      Didn't see it, he probably deleted it. Confused about the title. At what point was Euphoria racist?


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

      Apparently, it is "RACIST" against "MUSLIMS".


      ...oh wait, I do.

      And still somehow simply mentioning the immigrant hordes being expunged from Europe is more offensive.

      Anyways, this is the review:

      This review is of chapter 49.

      The style of this this story is almost perfect. The Grammar is very good with only few mistakes. The characters are very well written but sadly I will not continue to read this fiction because I have a problem with the story. 

      In chapter 49, the character appears to be waiting to fight and kill MUSLIMS. Now the problem with that is you are demoting a religion in your world and I take issue with that. I know it's your story and you can do whatever you want but you know that writing something AGAINST someone else's religion is called RACIST. And I am a Muslim so I take this very seriously. And again,you can do whatever you want with your story. Go on with you fiction. But I don't think I can read your fiction ever again.


      Edit:I have talked with the Author and would like to say that I will continue reading this story because He and I talked and I realised that the guy isn't trying to do anything racist. 

      gaigous @gaigous ago

      I'm not really in a position to be talking about others free time, but people who write nit picky reviews like that seem to have a lot of free time...............

      Btw how does one get triggered by a brain Committee is on its third lunch break trying to puzzle that one out.


      Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

      Be a fanatic apparently.

ZhangY @ZhangY ago

There is no Evil God, there is only BUREAUCRACY. Welcome to the dark side, where there are many government members.