Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How're you all doing?

Slip, slice, cut AND DICE!




(Side Note - I take back what I said about this being a lemon, prepare for carnage instead 3)

How long since I've last written something like this?! I can feel my bones trembling in anticipation! ... Heheheheh, finally... its time to bring out the carnage I am known for.

The gruesomeness of The Heart Of Blaze and its many battlefields... I can finally incorporate that into this story.

Prepare yourselves, those who have the stomach for what about to come, you are about to bear witness to yet another side of Chaos. Let this... be a... lesson.

A lesson to prepare you for the blackest aspect of the Eldritch power that is Chaos.

Anyways, here comes the next chapter of EUPHORIA! I sincerely hope that you enjoy, let us begin!

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

5th Of October, year 2022 - 00:00 - Leonardo's Point Of View...

I stood upon a small hill overlooking a rather populated night park somewhat near my newfound home. I stared at it, at its lights, at its many cameras and shadowed corners.

Love can be literally felt in the air, as a cacophony of hormones drenched the area. I'm fairly certain there are people fucking in the bushes.

Not that I care, but sex isn't going to save them from whats about to happen."Aria, here's a challenge for you. Once we descend into the park, I want you to turn off every single light, hack every single camera and shutdown any droids around for as long as you can muster."

'kay, pops. I'll do my best.

"Yomi dear, how about a trade? For a share of souls..." An imaginary grin of sheer bloodthirst appeared in my mind as the beauty in question licked her lips in hunger."I'll keep you and everything else inside."

Within moments, the entire area is surrounded by a massive magic shield, preventing any sound, any scream to escape it. Turning around towards my maids, I asked."Ready, girls?"

A resounding crunch echoed through the night as the duo transformed into a form very much akin to a gargoyle, their normally feminine forms replaced by gaping iron jaws and bulging muscle, ready to devour a hundred lives."Yes..."

They reply in unison as their voice turns demonic and I feel myself grinning even wider. Summoning Eadom in his true form, aka the Jerusalem Cross, I instinctively throw him into the middle of the park, causing the very air around us to seemingly gain weight. The formerly loud park seems to lose all of its sound as the people stare at the floating giant golden cross in both wonder and fear.

"Ladies and gentlemen... welcome, to your doom!" Damn, always wanted to say that.

With the dramatic proclamation made, the three of us leaped downwards. My gloved hand tore through a woman in her twenties, ripping through her chest as easily as a hot knife through butter. Belle tore off the head of some poor sod while Anna sliced off the arms of another."A-A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The people woke from their horrid trance, they started to run, their fear leaking from their shaking bodies.

I heard the ground beneath me cracking from the force I put behind my leap as I tore a man in half, from head to toe, with my right hand.

Turning around, my fist flew sideways as another persons head soon flew in the same direction. His blood, spurting as if from a fountain, covered a girl whole. I wasted no time to plunge my teeth into her neck, turning her into ash as I consumed her essence."HA-HAHAhahahhahHhahahahahaHAAHAHHAHAHA!"

My maddened laughter tore through the skies as my feast continued, my hands grasping the chest of a man, twisting and turning with inhuman might as I separate his torso from his lower body, a show of gore unlike any other. The concrete beneath my feet is drenched in blood as my vision goes blurry.

"G-god! What the hell is g-going on?!" A woman screamed in the middle of the park, right below the cross."Have you forsaken us?! O Lord what have we done to deserve this living nightmare?!"

She seems to be a nun of some sort, here most likely to preach about God to horny teens, which was not exactly a good idea. I grab her by the head, forcefully turning her around and ripping off her cowl as I ready a fist and promptly punch off her entire jawline."U-ughgh..." Her eyes go into the back of her head as I let her body go only to kick it away with a resounding crunch.

The chilling screech of a baby is heard coming from my right and I turn around just in time to see Belle tear the head off a child... And I laugh, again.

Another burst of power flows through my legs as I behead two running women and tear off the face of the guy who was next to them."Oya! What de fuk is dis?!"

A strange, deep voice echoed from behind me and I turned around to find a giant blue humanoid. An oni, an ogre to be exact."Hmm? SoMetHing WrOnG?" I heard myself ask with a smile on my face.

The Oni shook his head in horror as he took in his surroundings, only now managing to fully cross Yomi's barrier, a strange blue haired woman following behind him."Who are you?! What are you doing here?!"

"WeLComE, fRienDS! WelcOmE tO oUr FeAsT!" I replied to their question as the due looked on in utter horror and disgust, my right hand still holding the face of the man I had torn it off of a second ago.

He doesn't need it anymore... I mean, hes dead so yeah!

The massive ogre wastes no more time as he charges me, his giant fist sailing through the air."I dun know ya, now I don kare ta now ya, foreignur! But, for da good of all, you gottah die!"

I tilt my head sideways, appearing sad and speaking in a saddened tone."AaAh, sO, YOu aRe Not fRIenDs..."

Lowering my head for the drama, I then raise it just in time to deflect the Oni's blow with terrifying ease, my new and improved flesh proving superhuman in strength, and say."THEN YOU ARE FOOD!"

I struck the oni into his abdomen, finding my fist easily sinking through his skin, his muscle, his flesh as the oni leaps away in fear. Right behind him is the blue-haired woman, her hands encased in scythes of sharp ice as she charges me."Hiiiiiiiyah!"

She impales me through the chest with both scythes."H-Huh?!" Her eyes grow wide as she feels my hand pulling her in closer for a kiss, but just as I'm about to touch her lips, I remember reading somewhere that kissing a Yuki-onna isn't a good idea."AwW, oH wElL!"

And with that, I promptly slam my head into hers, feeling her skull cracking from the force used as the metal of my mask is put to the test once again. Quickly regaining myself, I plunge my teeth into her neck, devouring her and turning her to ash, with an unfinished scream."A-A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-."

Her scythes gave me an idea."O.. O' nooo... what... What ARE you?!" The massive oni screams out in horror as his ally turns to ashes and I turn to look at him. The giant ogre shivers in his spot, helplessness and hopelessness etched upon his frame as my two maids leap onto his shoulders, sitting on them and forcing him down.

"V-v-vampires, from the west?! Is this some kind of Invasion?!" The old fool asks as I approach him, the fingers on my right hand bending."NaH mAtE! THIS IS A FEAST!" And with that, a scythe of bone tears out of my hand, impaling the ogre upon it. But, as his soul begins to enter me, I stop it and take only the flesh.

Thus, sending the soul to Yomi instead."M-M-MNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Her erotic, joyous scream fills me with hunger again as I close my eyes and grasp my own energies.

Finding my next target within moments, I focus myself onto a man in his thirties."W-w-what do you want from me?!" He exclaims in a tone full of fear and I laugh. Wordlessly, I then channel my magic, forming an invisible hand and reaching out to a blood vessel in the mans right shoulder. I grasp it and pull, sending a hand I did not know I extended, backwards as I do.

"A-A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" The man screamed loudly into the night as his entire hand burst open, blood and bone tearing out of the skin and into the air like flies hunting flame."D-did... how... how did you just do that?" Yomi, my resident blood magic teacher, asked stupefied.

"I made an arm of magic and used the werewolf sight to find a blood vein. Then, as the arm of magic grasped the vein... I tugged, hard. Although, I will admit to pulling out way more than I originally wanted, but I'd say this spell creation was a success." I replied with a smile on my face as I repeated my tests on the man, until all of his major blood vessels were bursting with blood.

"P-P-Please.. just... kill me..." He begged and I complied, walking towards him and smiling with bloodlust clear in my eyes, as I found myself spinning, kicking his head clean off his shoulders... and well, his spine too, I guess. Another soul for Yomi's, enjoyment."A-AMMNYAAAAAAAAH?! A-ah, p-please warn m-me, n-n-next t-time, o-okay?!"

"You serious, babe? Half the fun is having you unready for it." Turns out delivering surprise orgasms can be pleasurable even to the one delivering them. Who knew."T-t-that's m-m-mean... but also really hot... please more!" She replied, voice going from moaning to joy in mere moments.

Turning around to see a crowd of people backed up against Yomi's invisible barrier, I smiled wickedly as two bone-like scythes grew out of my arms."LeTs hAvE SOme FUN, EVERYBODY!"

The screams of those involved, alongside the fact that I randomly fed people to Yomi, made this into one pleasurable murder spree.

And once I was done, I used the blood of the nun and some others to inscribe the middle of the park with the words; ANTIOCH WAS HERE.

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

And I think that I'm gonna finish with that here... don't want to keep typing until like 5AM and regret it like I did a few days ago.

And sides' I think that THREE BLOODY CHAPTERS ON THE SAME DAY, is more than enough to keep you guys needs at bay for a bit. :D

Not to mention how this chapter is one of the HEAVIER ones. Have fun! Oh and, sorry for the no lemon. Its coming, just need to introduce his sister into the story, eheh! :)

Spoilers? Nah, its in the comments section... everyone knows where him having a sister his age was gonna go, so yeah! Stay TUNED!

Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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Zemophobia @Zemophobia ago

I watched too many Japanese horror films to really be that bothered from this chapter. I just wish I was as insane as Leo, my life would be a lot funner.

dragonmage124 @dragonmage124 ago

laughingcoolcrythere was half lemons in the chapter via Yomi 

Clocktongan @Clocktongan ago

 what does it say about me when I truthfully enjoy  chapters like this?


    Lord Joyde @Lord Joyde ago

    That you've embraced the beauty that is CHAOS!

    ... but no seriously, I'd advise taking a few weeks off from doing anything, buying a fuckload of sleeping pills and painkillers and getting yourself into a place where you can continously listen to loud music while eating decent food.


Jaffa @Jaffa ago

No idea what you were trying with this chaper.

Natsume @Natsume ago

Thanks for another one~ This chapter is so fun~

I wonder if enjoying this is fine~?

valheru @valheru ago

Thanks for the chapter 

Obi Croft @Obi Croft ago

so this is how he says hi to his mum 

and tells the supernat community theres a new boss in town 

k den

still want my alchemist

gaigous @gaigous ago

Thanks for the chapter!

He went to japan for meat because....

The Great Viking @The Great Viking ago

For some reason whenever I read euphoria I always have the jokers song from the killing joke playing in the backround it just happens because when I listen to his madness it reminds me of your madness. :)