Lord Joyde

52. Of Bridal Scythes And Edgy Heavens


Lord Joyde The Madman: Heylo, everybody! How're you all doing?

Okay so here's the promised second part of the previous chapter!

I sincerely hope that you enjoy it!

Anyways, here goes nothing!

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

The Flayed World - Minutes Afterwards - Leonardo's Point Of View...

"Finally decided to stop screaming? Or did your lungs just give out you god-damn banshee?!" I exclaimed out loudly, much to the amusement of Eadom and to the agreement of Holmir.

Palmira, to her credit, merely replied to me with a grunt."No... you don't understand... the... the pain..."

Eadom and Holmir both snorted."Bitch, you haven't experienced the tip of what the flames can do to you."

A nod of agreement, surprisingly coming from Palmira herself."I.. I know this. The flames... through the pain, they have... cleansed me."

"That is a benefit of pure Hellfire. It purifies those it burns of their sins, no matter how dire." Holmir pointed out with a nod.

Turning around towards Eadom, I asked with a quirked eyebrow."You know, chaosborne powers set aside, how and why exactly do we have power over Hellfire?"

Eadom shrugged and pointed toward the sky."A gift from God. Also a way for God to keep me.. well us, in check, I guess."

I turned back towards Palmira."I assume that you know why you are here?"

To my surprise, she shook her head in negative."N-no... this is most certainly Hell... I remember being killed, but since we are both here then you must have died as well! Hah, so my family was avenged after all."

I laughed, causing her to take an involuntary step back."Not quite. You are indeed dead and your soul is bound to my blade, to what you might know as The Living Crusade."

Her eyes lit up in recognition, which isn't at all that surprising. The other vampire hunters knew of Eadom, so why shouldn't she."T-t-then... this is your s-soul?... W-wait, are you seriously considering making me a vassal?"

Blinking at her with some amusement etched into my frame, I said."So you DO know why you are here. And to answer your question, yes."

She blinked right back at me as she straightened up, the torment of Hellfire apparently ceasing to affect her for the moment."W-w-what a-are y-your t-terms? W-w-will you f-free m-me from the f-f-fire?"

"You know, the way you guys are making the fire sound like is making me want to try feeling it for myself." I blankly stated as Holmir took a step back in both awe and shock and Eadom rolled his eyes."You already are burning alive, just as much as I am. Why do you think you don't react to any pain back in the real world? Mate, your soul's been burning in Hellfire since the moment you were born. Both you and myself are nothing more than fuel, just the same as Holmir and possibly this bitch. The only difference is that we happen to be kings, while they are merely lords."

"You are quite rude for an Angel..." Palmira stated with a judging look as Holmir snorted and Eadom straightened his pose with pride."And proud of it."

"We can see that. Anyways, back on track, the deal goes like this: You swear fealty to me and in turn are freed from the flames, but I also get to summon you into the real world should I ever need you to fight for me. Don't worry though, I am never going to do that other part for as long as guys like Holmir are available." A single breath is taken during the sentence spoken as Palmira lowers her head in thought and Holmir salutes me."Your words do me great honor, sire."

She then raises herself up with a nod and a shaking body."V-v-very w-well... a-a-anything to g-get me out of the f-f-fire... even if only for a moment."

Holmir laughed at her antics."Believe me girl... once the phantom pain of the flames dies down, you will find yourself seeking the glory of their purifying pyre once more. Don't worry though, though you are free of their influence, that does not mean you can't leap back into the flames whenever you wish."

She bit down onto her lower lip."While a sinless existence is... alarmingly alluring, I do not think I will go back in there for as long as I can."

A nod of approval is Holmir's only reply as I walk in front of Palmira."Well? Do it then."

She swallowed down hard as her right hand clutched her scythe."I-I, Palmira of The Shivering Cross, pledge myself to you to serve as a Vassal Soul, my liege and master, Leonardo ... umm, what was your surname again?"

Blinking at her dumbfounded face, I couldn't help but let out a laugh as I clutched my forehead in amusement."Its Zatara."

"Right... my liege and master, Leonardo Zatara." And with that, her body was sent into a golden form, much like that of Holmir. She blinked at the changes and poked at her own hands for a brief moment."H-huh.. this feels strange, almost holy or maybe even divine... Though, I sincerely doubt the credibility of that."

Ignoring her, I turned toward the old man and scowled."You know what? Fuck it, I don't need a strong soul in order to make a proper vassal, right?"

Eadom nodded with a sigh."Yeah, but strong vassals are way more useful when summoned into the real world."

"Well can't we take someone weaker and train them to become more powerful?" I asked and Eadoms jaw literally fell down onto the floor. He bent over to pick it up, while Holmir answered my unsaid what the hell question."You are the first wielder to suggest such a thing sire... and well, I have gained an innumerable amount of power as I had gone from liege to liege, much more than I had back when I was still alive, which means that your suggestion is something entirely plausible."

"O-okay then... do you have someone particular in mind?" Eadom asked me with a quirked eyebrow, jaw still looking loose."How about that werewolf teen I killed?"

A nod and a flick of his finger are all it took for the image of the old man to disperse and, in his stead, stood a rather small human boy with purplish-black colored hair and wearing very emo-like clothing."O..kay, I do not remember him being this... edgy."

"When a soul arrives to this place, they are immediately set ablaze in Hellfire, forcing them to reveal themselves as they truly are. The boy looks different from how he looked like in the real world because this is his true self." Holmir explained and Palmira nodded in embarrassment, prompting me to finally realize the fact that she is, in fact, wearing a wedding dress."Wanted to be a bride, huh?"

She blinked in surprise and confusion."You just noticed the dress now?!"

"He tends not to take even the slightest note of things which do not appear to posses an immediate interest.. don't worry, you'll get used to it, eventually." Eadom spoke with a frown upon his frame and a palm on his forehead, almost as if remembering many sad memories.

"Must've been fun seeing me miss that chapel for all this time..." I muttered out and Eadom cringed hard at what was said, making me look away in quite some shame.

The boy finally shook as life seemed to seep back into his scorched form."Ugh.. W-where... where in the hell am I?"

He looked around, noticing everyone and everything around him and yet, not reacting to it at all."Huh... a hot chick in a wedding dress with a scythe, some kind of flayed-alive angel, a skeleton Templar and the guy that killed me... Okay, so this is what Hell is like. I guess that explains the flames."

Blinking at him in unison, we all turned to look at each other and sighed, while Palmira looked away in embarrassment. Poor girl, she probably didn't have too much social interaction in her time."You know what? I really want to get the hell out of this place as soon as I can."

I said with a clearly annoyed tone as I walked in front of the werewolf boy."H-huh? You want something from me?"

A nod."Yeah, I do. Look, I want this to end quickly so I'll keep it simple. I wanna make a deal with you; you become something called a vassal soul for me and I keep you out of the flames in turn. I also get the ability to summon you into the real world for short amounts of time."

Now its was his turn to look surprised and blink."Uhh.. well... okay, but what does this vassal thing mean for me? Like, how do I accept or err, what exactly does it mean?"

I sighed heavily, prompting the boy to quirk a confused eyebrow at me."I guess I can't expect everyone to know about this... anyways, you becoming a vassal soul does not really do anything to you. Basically, as far as I understand it, you become like a form of... argh, you know how sea carriers have storage modules?"

"You mean those big-ass ships that the Japanese military tends to use a lot? Yeah, what about them?" He nods and asks with surprising clarity and I nod right back."Yep, those. When you become a vassal soul, you... for a lack of a better word, extend my souls own capacity."

"For what exactly?" A smirk forms upon my frame, but it is not my voice that answers."To bind the souls of others and make them burn in the same Hellfire that you were in moments ago." Palmira replied in my stead, her voice full of hate and bitterness.

My smirk devolved into a sigh but, to my surprise, the boy shrugged and nodded."Well 'kay then. How do I sign up?"

"Just say my name and pledge yourself to my service... err, imagine being like this knight guy who's swearing fealty to his king." He quirks yet another eyebrow at me before snorting."Dude, that super narcissistic. Welp, here goes nothing.."

Taking in a deep breath, he spoke."I, Stephan Lincoln, pledge myself to yo... err, whats your name anyways?"

Another sigh escapes me."Leonardo Zatara..."

His eyes grow wide in recognition."DUDE! YOU'RE LIKE, A MAFIOSO-PRINCE?! ... I no longer have any shame from dying to you. Nah, that's actually kinda cool."

Now its my turn to be stupefied."Erm, excuse me?"

Then he promptly points to himself, his clothing and his overly-dramatized hairstyle."Mate, unless you don't get it from the looks, I'm emo. I like dark stuff. Everything from creepy pasta to switchblades is my forte. The fact that I got rekt by a mafioso is cool. Also the fact that I get to help you bind people's souls to you is kinda like fulfilling pretty much all of my dark fantasies... 'cept the one where I become an evil-ass specter and go around killing people for no reason."

A shake of our collective heads is the only answer he gets from the other men around."Ah, of course the Emo Werewolf has to be American... how fitting."

Ignoring her to the best of his ability, he continues his pledge."I, Stephan Lincoln, pledge myself to you, Leonardo Zatara."

And with that, a third soul has been made my vassal, promptly turning the sky around us to crimson red. Also, blood started raining down onto us."Argh, this is the one benefit of having God watch us while in this realm. I most certainly did not miss the constant rain."

With wide eyes, Palmira and Stephan shout."GOD WAS WATCHING US?!"

I turned to the both of them and replied in a bored tone."You really think that my soul's sky would be pure white normally?"

Palmira's jaw drops and Stephan stares at me in wonder."Duuudee.. this is your soul?! That's like... wow... this place is basically Edgy Heaven."

Before I could beat the ever loving shit out the the emo fuck, a pat on the back from Eadom sends me flying into the air as he salutes me goodbye."See ya later, Antioch."

Don't mind me guys and girls! I'm just a line break...

Sorry about the shortness of this chapter but I found myself unable to continue it due to hunger.

I'm gonna go eat.


Anyways, read and review! And Good Morning/Day/Night to you all! ADIOS FOR NOW!


About the author

Lord Joyde

  • Požega
  • Mad One

Bio: Rage and Insanity incarnate.

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Mattaj @Mattaj ago

Good. Another dose of Chaos. Fortunately while I was waiting for it, I was able to fulfill my needs by reading a new chapter of rather popular story on royalroadl where MC bribed ghost with alcohol and was teaching them how to properly throw piano at mortals.

dragonmage124 @dragonmage124 ago

 so this was what went on in my mind when you said she was in a bridal dress...when is he going to let the bride walk down the aisle to have more soul body babies? (..or would kids with her be half soul body have living body babies....ah do not mind me i just want to see if he a kid with his vassal will it have a mix of 'kingness and lordness' to be able to aid him in soul collecting and have their own vassals)

valheru @valheru ago

Thanks for the chapter 

The Great Viking @The Great Viking ago

"This place is basically edgy heaven"... Fucking brilliant.

uberfridgeking @uberfridgeking ago

Never underestimate the badassery of a combat bridal dress. Oh gods I need one for my rpg character thats a seemstress bard. Totally stealing your idea.

Kenchi @Kenchi ago

 "a hot chick in a wedding dress with a scythe, some kind of flayed-alive angel, a skeleton Templar and the guy that killed me." 


This sounds like the start of a bad bar joke