G-system error report:

Eureka Sector 15 : Environmental control failure.
Danger: unauthorized environmental bio-hazard present in sector.

_atmospheric control failure.

_attempting to contact Sector Overmind for resolution.

Overmind inactive.

Locating Avatar.

Sector 15 Annet Avatar & Red Panda Server shut down.

Reasons cited: Unexpected, Admin command shutdown sequence.

Attempting to _Restart local Avatar. Avatar restart... initiated.

Code corruption detected.

Attempt to purge restarted avatar... failed.

Attempting to contact local Admin for _bug fix.

Local System Admin out of service.
Reasons cited: vegetable state.

. . .

_attempting to contact nearest System Wizard.

System Wizard automated message response:


You've reached the inbox of the Dead Zone System Wizard.

I am currently having a sky-picnic with my associates.
If this is a matter of national emergency, please do not hesitate to write me an angry letter to the following address:

Twelfth and a Half Street. Apartment Seventy Bee. Manchester, planet Mercury.

If this is a matter of high importance and it cannot wait, you can loudly shout at the sky at random intervals or communicate with me via use of flag-speak.

_attempting to contact Temporal Corrector.

Corrector is not responding.
Reasons cited: currently brewing tea.
Environmental failure isn't a Temporal Error issue, screw off. I already prevented a widespread shutdown by confining the issue to a single sector, what more do you want?

_attempting to contact local Insurance Director

Insurance Director Vokosh Lumiss not responding.

Reason: Infinite System Error [Temporal Watch detonation cascade].

Tracking active Insurance dept heads.
Insurance department is not available.
Tracking active field agents.

Active Dex found.
Forwarding inquiry to active Dex unit 966912.


Attention Dex 966912!

Due to lack of department activity you have been promoted to the Director of Insurance Agency of Sector 15.

Mission 33-11-47 is as follows:
Aid Primary System Admin and restore his functions.
Locate and reprimand local System Wizard.
Locate and reprimand Temporal Corrector Zero.
Reactivate Sector 15 neural network AI Overmind & Annet Avatar.
Restore Sector 15 System to its proper state.

No! I am busy paddling.
Also, I've already chosen a life-time career of +-traffic-sign painter-+!
Leave me alone, you Gastardly, floating letter!

Dex 966912. Your disobedience has been noted.
I am dispatching drones to your current location for a reprimand.

I don't care, you stinky, slanted raspberry letter!
You can kiss my jiggly...

_connection terminated.

A note from Vitaly S Alexius

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About the author

Vitaly S Alexius

  • Canada
  • Archbishop of Captania and sovereign territories

Bio: I was born in the year 1984, in the 4th most polluted city of Soviet Union.
On April 11/1997 fate has given me an unexpected twist and by means of aerial transportation I was dislocated 5555 miles across the Atlantic Ocean to Ontario, Canada, wherein I currently preside in an 1890 cathedral and partake in writing and drawing things.

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