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G-system error report:

Eureka Sector 15 : Environmental control failure.
Danger: unauthorized environmental bio-hazard present in sector.

_atmospheric control failure.

_attempting to contact Sector Overmind for resolution.

Overmind inactive.

Locating Avatar.

Sector 15 Annet Avatar & Red Panda Server shut down.

Reasons cited: Unexpected, Admin command shutdown sequence.

Attempting to _Restart local Avatar. An.net Avatar restart... initiated.

Code corruption detected.

Attempt to purge restarted avatar... failed.

Attempting to contact local Admin for _bug fix.

Local System Admin out of service.
Reasons cited: vegetable state.

. . .

_attempting to contact nearest System Wizard.

System Wizard automated message response:

GREETINGS!

You've reached the inbox of the Dead Zone System Wizard.

I am currently having a sky-picnic with my associates.
If this is a matter of national emergency, please do not hesitate to write me an angry letter to the following address:

Twelfth and a Half Street. Apartment Seventy Bee. Manchester, planet Mercury.

If this is a matter of high importance and it cannot wait, you can loudly shout at the sky at random intervals or communicate with me via use of flag-speak.

_attempting to contact Temporal Corrector.

Corrector is not responding.
Reasons cited: currently brewing tea.
Environmental failure isn't a Temporal Error issue, screw off. I already prevented a widespread shutdown by confining the issue to a single sector, what more do you want?

_attempting to contact local Insurance Director

Insurance Director Vokosh Lumiss not responding.

Reason: Infinite System Error [Temporal Watch detonation cascade].

Tracking active Insurance dept heads.
Insurance department is not available.
Tracking active field agents.

Active Dex found.
Forwarding inquiry to active Dex unit 966912.

G-system:

Attention Dex 966912!

Due to lack of department activity you have been promoted to the Director of Insurance Agency of Sector 15.

Mission 33-11-47 is as follows:
Aid Primary System Admin and restore his functions.
Locate and reprimand local System Wizard.
Locate and reprimand Temporal Corrector Zero.
Reactivate Sector 15 neural network AI Overmind & Annet Avatar.
Restore Sector 15 System to its proper state.

966912:
No! I am busy paddling.
Also, I've already chosen a life-time career of +-traffic-sign painter-+!
Leave me alone, you Gastardly, floating letter!

G-system:
Dex 966912. Your disobedience has been noted.
I am dispatching drones to your current location for a reprimand.

966912:
I don't care, you stinky, slanted raspberry letter!
You can kiss my jiggly...

_connection terminated.

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About the author

Vitaly S Alexius

  • Canada
  • Archbishop of Captania and sovereign territories
  • https://www.rom.ac

Bio: I was born in the year 1984, in the 4th most polluted city of Soviet Union.
On April 11/1997 fate has given me an unexpected twist and by means of aerial transportation I was dislocated 5555 miles across the Atlantic Ocean to Ontario, Canada, wherein I currently preside in an 1890 cathedral and partake in writing and drawing things.

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