The Aggie Show

The Aggie Show

by WetJazz

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Gary is a young man who lives with his cat, Aggie. One day, Gary receives a mysterious book on his doorstep. Aggie steals this book, claims horrible powers beyond comprehension, and becomes Gary's tormentor. Gary must learn to navigate a world unlike anything he has ever seen.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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  • Pages :
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WetJazz

WetJazz

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RedWingUa
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Weird and confusing story. Not everyone can like it.

Style: The first two chapters were pretty hard to read. Then it got a little easier. A Lot of Telling and not much of Showing. It doesn't bother me at all. But it may not seem right to some people.

Story: It's hard to explain, but if the author was trying to create an atmosphere of horror in the book, he failed to do so. It's not scary at all. The mystery is quite good and the psychological pressure is quite convincing in places.

Here is an example from chapter six

The hot, viscous fluid drenched Gary. He opened his eyes. The man before him had disappeared, leaving behind only a red stain all throughout the room

The first thing I thought of was a tomato and not splotches of blood or blood stains. Not to mention that if you crush or blow up a person, the remains will not be bloody at all, but like a piece of meat put through a meat grinder. 

 

 

Grammar: It's not bad at all. There are a couple of minor errors, but nothing more than that.

Character: It is a little annoying to see a large number of side characters. But the protagonist is quite simple, which is a plus.

 

VMJaskiernia
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The story is.. weird. It's hard to grasp. I had to go through and read it more than once because the first time it felt not-quite-right, and I couldn't figure out why.

I realized it gave me the same feel as watching a David Lynch film. This is not your usual story, and you should go into it knowing it'll be surreal and odd and more of an experience than you may be used to. Not that any of this is *bad* of course, but you need to keep that in mind.

Style: The style happens to have a lot of Telling instead of Showing. At first it bothered me, but it kinda fits with the story too, so take my issue with a grain of salt. It works in the end.

Grammar: Some the grammar is flawed, but not much. Minor error here and there.

Story: Just... it's very hard to explain. In a good way. I feel like this would be a great horror series of youtube shorts, and if you image it more as a movie then it clicks. It would be a disservice to do anything more than just tell you to go read it yourself.

EricaABlair
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Like Nothing I’ve Ever Read Before

Reviewed at: CATALOG: (E021 - E025)

If the film Annihilation (2018) and the short story “The Egg” by Andy Weir had a baby, this story would be that baby.

Style: The style at first was a bit clunky, but as the story goes on, it gets significantly better. It’s always awesome to see an author’s writing improve in real time.

Story: This is the epitome of magical realism/horror. What you read in the synopsis is what you get, and personally, I’ve never read a story like this before. It’s a little confusing to understand everything in the beginning, but as you keep reading, things start to unravel and make more sense.

Grammar: There are minor grammar errors, for example:

“Hey! That’s not funny!” He screamed out.

 

“He” should not be capitalized. Another thing I noticed is that if one person is talking, there do not need to be multiple dialogue tags. We know who is talking. A bigger issue is that when two people are talking, the dialogue is all in the same paragraph. A good rule of thumb is to have separate lines if multiple people are having a conversation. Also, there is some unintentional tense-switching:

Danny sweat profusely. The children had stopped in their tracks…

 

But again, these probably won’t affect most people’s reading experience.

Character: The characters are pretty well-defined. There’s not too many twists. For example, the antagonist is a creep from the start, and the MC is just a regular dude (the everyman) trying to figure out wtf is happening. But considering that the reader also needs to figure out what is going on, I believe it makes sense to not overcomplicate the characters. Thus, this was a good choice on the author’s part. 

A few takeaways:

  1. Gary sweats. 24/7. All the frickin’ time. 
  2. The gore is real.
  3. Don’t take shrooms. This story’s got you covered.