The Nine Stars

The Nine Stars

by FreakofGray

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

 

In a world where gods laugh at mortals, slayers will arise.

 

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If you are a kind soul give me a vote on top web fiction! Link: http://topwebfiction.com/vote.php?for=the-nine-stars

Sidenote: Also I'm in need of an editor Pm me, Comment here, or on my fiction page I'll read them all.

Link to my forum post if you have questions or like to ask me something.

http://forum.royalroadl.com/showthread.php?tid=97104

[ Link to cover page: http://i.imgur.com/B4k86iY.jpg ]

[ Artist Link who did the cover: drezoregalia.com ]

[ Oracle125's thread who did Nena and Concepts of Vince and Rune: http://forum.royalroadl.com/showthread.php?tid=96758 ]

[ Nena: http://i.imgur.com/7bmadGP.png ]

[ Concept Art of Vince and Rune: http://imgur.com/Loy8fCo ]

[ Concept Art of Vince, Rune, and Len: Link ]

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Author
FreakofGray

FreakofGray

Elf Killer

Achievements
300 Comments
Word Count (14)
250,000 Views
Fledgling Reviewer (IV)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Character Page (Not a Chapter!) ago
Chapter 1 - Scene 1 - A Daughter’s cry ago
Chapter 1 - Scene 2 - A father's death ago
Chapter 1 - Scene 3 ago
Chapter 1 - Scene 4 - A Mothers wish and a Daughter resolve ago
Chapter 2 - Scene 1 ago
Chapter 2 - Scene 2,3,4 ago
Chapter 2 - Scene 5,6 ago
Chapter 3 - Scene 1 ago
Chapter 3 - Scene 2,3 ago
Chapter 3 - Scene 4,5 ago
Chapter 3 - Scene 6,7 ago
Chapter 4 - Scene 1 ago
Chapter 4 - Scene 2 ago
Chapter 5 - Scene 1 ago
Chapter 5 - Scene 2 ago
Chapter 5 - Scene 3 ago
Chapter 5 - Scene 4 ago
Chapter 6 - Scene 1 ago
Chapter 6 - Scene 2 ago
Chapter 6 - Scene 3 ago
Chapter 6 - Scene 4A, 4B, 5 ago
Chapter 7 - Scene 1 ago
Chapter 7 - Scene 2 ago
Chapter 7 - Scene 3A ago
Chapter 7 - Scene 3B ago
Side Story 001 + Update on things GOOD THINGS ago
Side Story 002 ago
Side Story 003 ago
Side Story 004 ago
Chapter 7 - Scene 4A ago
Chapter 7 - Scene 4B ago
Chapter 7 - Scene 5 ago
Chapter 7 - Scene 6 ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 1 ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 2A, 2B ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 3A, 3B, 3C ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 4A, 4B ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 5A,5B ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 6 ago
Chapter 8 Scene 7A - Princess Jao: Half a step failure ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 7B - Lord Elbirret ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 8A - Ramage ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 8B - Legacy of Lord Sai ago
Chapter 8 - Scene 8C- Spirited away ago
Chapter 9 - Scene 1 - The Armory ago
Chapter 9 - Scene 2 - God Slayers ago
Chapter 9 - Scene 3 - Weapon Souls ago
Chapter 10 - Scene 1 - Battle Prowess ago
Chapter 10 - Scene 2A,B - Dance of Axes and Arrows ago
Chapter 10 - Scene 3 - Battle Results ago
Chapter 11 - Scene 1 -Scars ago
Chapter 11 - Scene 2 - Change ago
Chapter 11 - Scene 3 - Beast Cultivation ago
Chapter 11 - Scene 4 - Raxis ago
Chapter 11 - Scene 5a,5b - Beast Transformations ago
Chapter 12 - Scene 1 - First Eye of Locking ago
Chapter 12 - Scene 2 - Sibling match up Luna Vs. Sol! ago
Side Story 006 - Flying sword ago
Chapter 12 - Scene 3 - Ren Vs. Saren ago
Chapter 12 - Scene 4 - Xue Vs. Len ago
Side Story 008 - Medical Garden ago
Chapter 12 - Scene 5 - Vince vs. Rune ago
Chapter 13- Scene 1 - Entering Sanou City! ago
Chapter 13 - Scene 2 - Entrance ago
Chapter 14 - Scene 1 - Cloudstar ago
Chapter 14 - Scene 2 - Love of Bread ago
Chapter 14 - Scene 3 - The Beggar ago
Chapter 15 - Scene 1 - The Pit ago
Chapter 15 - Scene 2 - Bread Maker ago
Chapter 15 - Scene 3 - Eclipse ago
Chapter 16 - Scene 1 - Overpowering ago
Chapter 16 - Scene 2 - Beatdown ago
Chapter 16 - Scene 3 - Recovery ago
Chapter 16 - Scene 4 - Craving Strength ago
Chapter 17 – Scene 1 - Dreams ago
Chapter 17 - Scene 2 -Makuo District ago
Chapter 17 - Scene 3 - Sky Blade ago
Chapter 17 - Scene 4 - Legendary City of Metal, Talhaearn! ago
Chapter 18 - Scene 1 - Eating Out ago
Chapter 18 - Scene 2 - The Khoa Clan ago
Chapter 18 - Scene 3 - Confrontation ago
Chapter 18 - Scene 4 - Bastard Son ago
Chapter 19 - Scene 1 - Chance Meeting ago
Chapter 19 - Scene 2 - Departure ago
Chapter 19 - Scene 3 - Entrance Fee ago
Chapter 20 - Scene 1 - Travel Stories ago
Chapter 20 - Scene 2 - Blue Thunderbolt ago
Chapter 20 - Scene 3 - First Examination ago
Chapter 21 - Scene 1 - Day One Descent ago
Chapter 21 - Scene 2 - First Kill ago
Chapter 21 - Scene 3 - Horde ago
Chapter 21 - Scene 4 - Brother! ago
Chapter 22 - Scene 1 - Mistakes Were Made ago
Chapter 22 - Scene 2 - Qi Art ago
Chapter 22 - Scene 3 - Trance ago
Chapter 22 - Scene 4 - A Girl Enraged ago
Chapter 23 - Scene 1 - Headshot ago
Chapter 23 - Scene 2 - An arrow to the knee ago
Chapter 23 - Scene 3 - Vince? Eh?! ago
Chapter 23 - Scene 4 - Run ago
Chapter 24 - Scene 1 - Jungle Girls ago
Chapter 24 - Scene 2 - Eggs ago
Chapter 24 - Scene 3 - Ice Tiger ago
Chapter 24 - Scene 4 - Pillaging ago
Chapter 25 - Scene 1 - Brats! ago
Chapter 25 - Scene 2 - Zodiac Guardians ago
Chapter 25 - Scene 3 - Blood Demon ago
Chapter 25 - Scene 4 - Heart to Heart ago
Chapter 26 - Scene 1 - Mathis ago
Chapter 26 - Scene 2 - Cockatrice ago
Chapter 26 - Scene 3 - Awakened, Goliath's needle ago
Chapter 26 - Scene 4 - Vengeance ago
Chapter 27 - Scene 1 - Familiars ago
Chapter 27 - Scene 2 - Robbery at its Finest ago
Chapter 27 - Scene 3 - Drugged ago
Chapter 28 - Scene 1 - The Hunt ago
Chapter 28 - Scene 2 - Let's Fight! ago
Chapter 28 - Scene 3 - Sisters Rampage ago
Chapter 28 - Scene 4 - Confrontation ago
Side Story - 009 - The Twelve? ago
Chapter 29 - Scene 1- 2nd Examination Begins! ago
Chapter 29 - Scene 2 - Bosses Unleashed ago
Chapter 29 - Scene 3 - Useless! ago
Chapter 29 -Scene 4 - Land of Black Sand and Scales + Announcement ago
Chapter 29 - Scene 5 - Tested Dao Heart ago
Chapter 30 - Scene 1 - Gemini Appears ago
Chapter 30 - Scene 2 - Graveyard ago
Chapter 30 - Scene 3 - Thieves and Necromancers + Plan ago
Chapter 30 - Scene 4 - An Oath to the heavens ago
Chapter 31 - Scene 1 - Skeleton Wars ago
Chapter 31 - Scene 2 - Death Knights ago
Chapter 31 - Scene 3 - Luna Vs. Death Knight ago
Chapter 31 - Scene 4 - Skeleton abominations ago
Chapter 31 - Scene 5 - Time Limit ago
Chapter 32 - Scene 1 - Day Eight End ago
Chapter 32 - Scene 2 - Running Out ago
Chapter 32 - Scene 3 - Seven Poison Islands ago
Chapter 32 - Scene 4 - Poisoned ago
Chapter 33 - Scene 1 - Against the clock + Plus Rune Art Piece + Announcement! ago
Chapter 33 - Scene 2 - Flame Witch ago
Chapter 33 - Scene 3 - A Life for an arm? ago
Chapter 33 - Scene 4 - I'll take an arm! ago
Chapter 34 - Scene 1 - Tower of Mirrors ago
Chapter 34 - Scene 2 - Archer ago
Chapter 34 - Scene 3 - Tree Mountain ago
Chapter 34 - Scene 4 - Survive ago

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The Feedback Troupe
Overall
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Story
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Character

This review was done by request; it covers through the chapter ‘Chapter 7 scene 6’.

Grammar: 2.5 - Rough, but it gets somewhat better.

This story didn't really start on a good note for me, and a lot of that was from poor grammar and spelling. The second sentence has the characters 'donned in ragged patchworks', which is simply incorrect. As the story continues, it does improve; by the time I stopped, it was… better enough I wasn't continually distracted. It still had some problems, though, especially with punctuation/capitalization, tenses, and plurals.

Style: 3 - Somewhat stilted, but understandable.

I don't actually have a lot to say here, especially since it's hard for me to tell which of my problems come from style and which would be fixed by improving the grammar. I do think focusing more on clarity and brevity would help both areas; when I found myself confused, it was usually from convoluted sentences or oddly structured paragraphs.

I will say, though, that the chapters in this story are either pretty long or pretty short, depending on if you consider the software-separated chapters or the title-separated ones. If I was reading this as a serial, I’d probably stockpile a few releases, and then read them all at once.

Character: 3 - Somewhat caricatured, but not boring.

The characters are, on the whole, pretty simplistic. They each have one or two defining features, and that's pretty much it. Not that I'm really criticizing that approach; on the whole, it worked. I didn't get them confused too often, because they all stood out pretty well. And they had unique names, which was helpful. On the other hand, they don't have much depth, either; Ren, for example, likes swords and booze. That's basically everything his character is about: swords and booze. Would I like more subtlety? Yeah, probably, but I can see how it would be difficult to do, especially given the size of the cast.

Oh, and I'm including worldbuilding in here. It's about the same as the characters; flashy and eye-catching, but not particularly deep. It runs on a pretty standard wuxia (felt like I Shall Seal The Heavens?) thing, although it uses magic and mana as well for some reason. There’s also a touch of extra complication due to awakening, although how that works is never fully explained. There are lots of random details, which makes everything feel intriguing, but it didn’t seem like much of it actually revealed complex or deep mechanics, with the possible exception of the Old Gods. Anyways, it's fun, and manages to avoid being boring, despite feeling derivative to me.

Plot: 3.5 - Starts out pretty good, then goes flat, but promises more.

So, this story doesn't really have a 'hook' per se; it takes several paragraphs before the plot starts. However, when it does, it starts with a bang, and leads right into a fairly major plot point, which is all to the good. The action continues at a fairly fast pace, with the main characters responding to their evolving circumstances. However - and this is the bit that I liked best - it's revealed early on that not all is as it seems with the family. That was a good twist.

However, after the initial conflict is pointedly ended by the children's new mentor, things get… much slower. This is where I started getting bored; it turns into a series of extreme power-ups, one after another, broken up mostly by silly or slice-of-life scenes. Which can be fine, but… there was a pretty drastic swing in tone.

There's some drips of foreshadowing in here; something about Rune and Vince's past, which I won't spoil, and a hint on Xue’s inner demons. That was good, if, again, a bit on the caricatured side.  However, the lack of conflict slows the pacing a lot, and makes it difficult to hold the reader’s interest.

All in all, I'd give this story a 3. There are some spots where it shines, and some where it's rough, but on the whole, it wasn't really standout. It may get better later on, but… I didn’t read that far, so I can't rate it on that.

If you're not picky and like the concept, it's definitely worth a look.

Brutus Hans
Overall

Nine MCs. Nine of them. Each one is unique and wonderfully crafted, as if the Thor's hammer came down from the heavens to strike a block of obsidian on which the characters would each be defined. 

 

Reading this fiction is like having your own harem. A harem of MCs. I get hard just from the concept of so many MCs. In the case where I had to choose between a certain XXX site and this fiction, I would choose this fiction. 

 

Several names will go down in history for giving humanity great things. First, Isac Newton. Second, Benjamin Franklin. Third, the author of this fiction. This fiction is history in the making; it's going to be bigger than Anne Frank's diary. 

 

If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it would be the paper that this story was printed on. If the United States ever needs a new person to put on a $1000.00 bill, it would be the author of this fiction's face. If one single document could convince North Korea to stop attacking South Korea, it would be this fiction with a signature line at the bottom. It's just that good. 

 

If it's sadness you want, grab a bucket. If it's happiness you want, grab and even bigger bucket. If it's erotica you want, don't even both with a bucket, just find a drain straight to the sewer. 

 

You can't go wrong with this fiction. It's the best of the best. The cream of the crop. 

Anime-Sensei
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I laughed, cried and crapped my pants all at the same time!

I don't know why I hadn't discovered this story yet...but I have to tell you it far surpassed my expectations. Every MC was better than I thought due to there either sad, epic or bittersweet beginnings. And if God would have it so, the same go for the endings. Because the stories that hit us in the feels like this one makes writing my own stories just that much more of an interesting experience. It fills my day with happy vibes and this stories vibes hit you harder than when I was punched in the face by Saitama.

FireLebron23
Overall

Amazing Story Man I would love to see more of it

Replica1
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Overall not a bad story. While many people seem to love having multiple MC's I personally belive that if an author cannot create a single character who the audience can fall in love with, or if the only way to further a plot is to have 100 people tell you what is going on in their own view, than the author has too much on their plate. I prefer reading from a few perspectives as possible and while more modern novels are making this a trend most great novels stik to a single mc with a few 2-3 other views sprinkled in to give the audience what the mc missed fue to bias, location, etc.