The 13th Loop [A Progression, GameLit, Sci-Fi Adventure]

The 13th Loop [A Progression, GameLit, Sci-Fi Adventure]

by Lykanthropy

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Kyle Goldman is having a bad century, multiple of them. Kyle is immortal, destined to live the same mediocre life over and over again. Worse, he remembers each time through life. Every betrayal, every life lesson, every combat spell, he is destined to learn them all again and again.

Every life he re-awakens during the Awakening Trials. Trials designed to pull out the full magical and spiritual potential of a Space Force Candidate. Depending on how well he does in these trials can change his entire career. Since this is his thirteenth time through the trials he is well aware of their importance. 

Even better, he knows how to cheat. Having prior knowledge of the trials and their ever increasing difficulties is the ultimate form of cheating. Especially when the rewards for completing each stage of the trial is an increased Attribute point.

He's lived each life to its fullest, some dying as a famous ace pilot. Others dying as an expeditionary Marine on long range space recon. Each life ultimately leads to the same inevitable end, he makes friends, tastes happiness for a brief moment, and then is betrayed. The betrayal always changes, but always hurts the same. From there a deep spiral occurs, leading to his inevitable, but often glorious demise.

This time he vows to take things differently. He still plans to ace the exams, but then he will do the unthinkable, he will resign his commission as an officer. To live as an overqualified regular citizen of the free worlds. 

With the knowledge of spell craft deeply ingrained in his mind from his previous lives, he is set to make try number thirteen his lucky number after all.

There is only one problem. The Government saw his test scores and now they won't stop to have him in their ranks. It looks like the betrayal will come earlier than expected in this, his thirteenth try at living the same stale existence.

Themes Include: GameLit Elements, Progression Fantasy, with Space Tech and interstellar battles.

Schedule: Monday through Friday

Cover Art: Thanks to Asviloka

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Table of Contents
44 Chapters
Next Chapter:
Chapter Name Release Date
Prelude ago
Chapter 1 Thirteenth Time’s the Charm ago
Chapter 2 The Nutcracker ago
Chapter 3 Everything Costs Something ago
Interlude I ago
Chapter 4 Winning the Lottery ago
Chapter 5 Results of My Actions ago
Chapter 6 Homecoming ago
Chapter 7 Kangaroo Court ago
Chapter 8 New Day, New Hairdo, Same Old Life ago
Chapter 9 Powder ago
Chapter 10 Dual Affinity User ago
Chapter 11 A ‘Cog in Time ago
Chapter 12 PDD Diagnosis ago
Chapter 13 Hobbies and Formations ago
Interlude II ago
Chapter 14 Turning Insults into Injuries ago
Chapter 15 Music for the Soul ago
Chapter 16 Endarian Incident ago
Chapter 17 Fresh-Student Orientation ago
Chapter 18 The Unwritten Score of Endar Rising. ago
Chapter 19 Voyeurism To the Rescue ago
Chapter 20 Class Evolutions ago
Chapter 21 Discoveries ago
Chapter 22 MAC Fighting: The Charity that Shares ago
Chapter 23 The Good Doctor Take 2 ago
Chapter 24 After School Specials ago
Chapter 25 Combat Pilot Training ago
Chapter 26 Lost in Space, Not the Series. ago
Chapter 27 My Brother, The Wife Stealing Tool-Bag ago
Epilogue I ago
Prelude II ago
Chapter 28 Playing the Fiddle While the World Burns: A How to Guide ago
Chapter 29 S.R.D. ago
Interlude III Dr. Charleston's Office. ago
Chapter 30 In the Garden of Life ago
Chapter 31 Don’t Mind Me ago
Chapter 32 Changing Teams? ago
Chapter 33 No One Cock-Blocks Me, Like I Cock-Block Me From Myself ago
Chapter 34 Being Jealous of Myself ago
Chapter 35 Pairings ago
Interlude IV ago
Chapter 36 Portals and Temples ago
Chapter 37 Shoddy Work and Rapid Deployments ago

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Alright, I'm just going to put the bad upfront on this one. Characters are the bad part of this story.

Do not read this if you like your mc to be at all likeable. And I don't mean in a villainous way. I mean in a if I met this guy on the street and had any idea of how messed up in the head he was i would run the opposite way as fast as I could.

Now this MIGHT have made for a decent if odd character rating, but that is pretty much all the mc has going on. Whining about things (gods, exs, betrayal), thinking about how much better he is at x than his current opponent is, and daydreaming about how 'this time will be different!' (only to shoot himself in the foot with a stupid decision out of nowhere).

That is pretty much it for characters. None of the others really show up long enough (in the bit I read) for me to have an opinion on them one way or another. Although, I do have to mention that there was a noticeable disconnect about how familiar the mc referred to some of the people he had interacted with in a previous timeline and how he thought/acted towards them in the current one. (Ex. He refers to a spec-ops agent sent to capture him as a friend in a past timeline, but then gets really aggressive with him immediately afterward. I chalked it up to the whole paranoid betrayal trauma, but it did feel awkward in the moment because there was no explanation for the disconnect. One of the few times it would have been appropriate for him to harp on about it.)


As for the rest. Story was ok though it felt a bit forced and wtf because of aforementioned boneheaded decisions. Worldbuilding was interesting and I could easily see being interested in actually reading a story set in it though not one with this mc. Style was fairly smooth with a nice balance of detailed exposition versus not lingering too long on any one scene. Finally, grammar could use a bit of work, but it wasn't particularly bad or anything like that. (Usual misspelled/misused words. Punctuation was fine though.)


All in all not for me, and I can't think of anyone I would recommend it to personally. Although, if you ARE into weird not quite psychotic main characters I would say give it a try?


I wish the story that was written was the one in the synopsis, that story sounded great. Something a bit fresh in a well tread sub genre. Instead it just turns into this standard start of a mil sci-fi/fantasy story. Maybe that'll change post current arc but I won't be around to see it. 

A minor complaint often found in these sorts of novels is present here too, omg a woman *blushes*. For a character that's lived through 12 lives it's a bit out of place. Other than that though the writing is fairly competent imo, it's just not what I felt was advertised to me.


The story start with an interesting, even if already know trope, time loop. The MC at the start is not too smart or too dumb and I was hopeing for an intersting story were there isn't word conquest, revenge (the brother is still ok), atonement, ecc, is a story of an overpowerd men that want some fun in his loop life, a slice of life in wich he do some fun disaster to release some stress in a life whitout consequences, like the days when Lois Lane is killed. The story start ok but then the intelligence of the MC have suddenly drop, if he dosn't want to stand out why did he drink not 1 but 2 magic potion who alter his aspect in the trial? smuggling it out if you want it and second don't use spell or ability of a arcimage when you are a level 1 noob it's very dumb. And the talk with the judge? How can he be so honest and loyal after 12 life of suffering? The only possible answer is that he is very dumb and even after 100 years he hadn't catch the situetion he is or how the word work.


Honestly was a decent story up to what I read but it wasn't really to my personal liking. Him being strongarmed into the millitary which he explicitly wants to exit leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Him being in the situation because he can't resist being a stupid show off makes it worse. I don't like obviously forced romances which this appears to be. I just don't feel it. 


Honestly the hypocrisy is making me drop the story at chapter 7 instead of sticking with it. Good premise, can't stand a waffling MC. I can deal with an MC that's a kid doing this all day long, it completely breaks the immersion and %100 ruins my view of them when a partial immortal or older person does something like that. Maybe backtrack and foreshadow possibly joining the military, keep the options open in the intro of the book. However give the military angle great negative connotations. Welp, good luck.

Spoiler: MC has lived 12 lives in the military, 7 chapters of foreshadowing that he will not go back into the military, has a plan to start this life as a civilian and triumph over the apocolypse. Then caves in under 24 hours and rejoins the military, even though he starts out OP. Yeah can't stomach the hypocrisy.


Bait and Switch but Still Interesting

Reviewed at: Prelude II

Basically everything in the synopsis ends up being a lie or extremely misleading. The story is not a time loop story. The MC's prior knowledge becomes mostly useless when it comes to knowledge about the world or future. There are bits and pieces here and there for plot reasons that are useful but specific things about how the world works? No. In fact, the entire system of the universe is apparently different from any of his previous lives. Even his memories of his previous lives mostly disappear after a while.

The worst lie is that he is against the military and trying to have a civilian life. Supposedly he's sick of the military life but that gets quickly abandoned and, other than some antagonism with his fellow candidates who aren't as good as the dude who has a lot of basic practice, seems to be all in on the military without really complaining about a lot of BS and abuse he is put through for no good reason.

I bring all this up but I still find the story interesting and entertaining enough to keep reading. My biggest problems with it are that it falls into being a bit generic with a litrpg sci-fi setting that is kind of meh. A lot of this is not helped by a somehow magical level of information control that imply either CCP levels of control over the internet and information in general along with the willingness to abuse mind control and other strong-arm control methods to prevent basic information about the system from spreading or a basic level of information gathering incompetence by the MC. We're still being introduced to basic systems of the system and multiple times commanders are unwilling to answer what feel like basic questions of the system. Basic questions that people would post and talk about online if there is any freedom.

I write all these negative things but I think there's a nice popcorn story here. If you don't think about it too much, go with the flow, and ignore the massive bait and switch from the synopsis, you can enjoy yourself. I just don't recommend this story to everyone and to know what you're actually getting into rather than the pemise in the synopsis that might have grabbed you like it did me.

Edit: And now that the first book has ended, I dropped this another half-star. You really need to not think sometimes to enjoy this story. The author does not understand promises to the reader, proper development, and making things feel natural. At some point I think there was a time jump but it's really unclear and then you have a sudden change at the "end" of the first book but I still can't figure out what makes the first book a book. It's one of the many issues with serial authors but this one just has something happen that didn't even feel like it was hinted at with even close to enough foreshadowing to have happen. Also, more twists when that wasn't our focus. I also would point out this is another story where 

the academy part of the story gets abandoned rather quickly than letting it actually develop. This story really doesn't foreshadow what happens or even go into much detail about the flight class which just suddenly is talking about the end when it didn't seem like we were that far into the year and all it's weirdness.



Mixed feelings about this.  I like the general idea.  The MC is a major Marty Stu though.  Plus the plot seems inorganic like the writer has a good idea and decides to mash it into the plot without bothering to ask if it works or not overall.  The end effect is like jolt after jolt rather than smooth storytelling.

Essentially, this is easy to get caught up in, but in the end, it doesn't seem to be worth the effort.  I don't know if I will continue reading.


So, I want to preface this review that I actually have read up to chapter 28, as that was what was available on patreon.


There won't be any spoilers though.

My overall opinion is that honestly this is a pretty good story if you just want to read one hell of a Rollercoaster. I thought it was gonna wind up being a generic time loop story but Jesus there are some real twists and turns thrown around. (At least for me) I can honestly say i didn't expect any of them. Maybe you, reader will be different. I can't say.

Personally I don't think it's intended to come off this way but I'm taking it as a fun, lighthearted story with serious undertones.

Honestly I'd say give it a read, you might end up feeling differently but I don't think it was a waste of time to read. I enjoyed my time reading and will prpbably keep up with the story.



Now to get more specific.

To begin I'll start with the negatives.

 - the grammar is pretty poor, it could definitely use an editing pass. This isn't a major concern but there is a lot of misspelled, or incorrect words used. This isn't just a matter of wrong commas or something like that. Some sentences I've needed to reread a few times to find out what words they were trying to use. Things like "begin" being replaced by "benign" just entirely misused words.

- the characters can be really poorly written sometimes. 

- I think it has started to move maybe a little to fast in pacing compared to how the rest of the story has progressed.


The good

- some of the characters can be really well written sometimes. It's a toss up. Sometimes they seem very realistic in how they react to situations and sometimes as noted in the bad they seem almost too influenced by certain tropes.

- the chapters are a decent length.

- the interludes are well written and I enjoyed them

- the story doesn't seem to take itself too seriously. I normally prefer serious stories but honestly with the Rollercoaster twists I've experienced in this one I don't dislike the change. It might be due to some of the negatives that the story presents itself in this way to me. I'm not sure if the author ment for it to seem like this. As stated stated the general overview it seemed lighthearted  but with some serious undertones.


When you write a story about an MC who is supposed to be hundreds of years old, I expect someone mature, wise, calculating, and calm. Even more someone who has been military trained multiple lifetimes.

This mc isn't wise, instead he is hot headed, slow, and makes teenager like mistakes. This killed the story for me.
Too bad, the idea was nice.


Starts good, gets extremely frustrating

Reviewed at: Chapter 23 The Good Doctor Take 2

It starts quite well, and really gets you excited to see where things go. but then the author changes the tone and direction of the story quite abruptly and dismantles the initial premise of the story. Then the main female lead becomes absolutely insuffrable as she shows more and more how little she realy cares, while the MC whould do anything just to have her glance in his direction.

There are also just a lot of things that don't make sense because the author doesn't really understand some basic sciences very well, so they just make shit up that they could have taken five minutes to google.


Ok, I read the ending. . . run away now. The story goes completely shit. Nothing is as it seems in the very worst way possible. I don't want to spoil anything. I just want to say it's not worth starting this story to get to the ending. 


You would have to be a very particular type if person to enjoy this.