He was just a young thief caught by the City Guard, whose life took an unexpected turn when his own victim "invited" him to learn Magic at a Magus School
There, in a flying iron city, he would find himself involved into a new life full of politics, magic, actions and romance
Could he survive the machinations and schemes by people more powerful and dangerous than he is?
Could he save the world?
And most importantly, would he remain true to himself, or be engulfed in this "new world" he just lied into?
New chapters will be released 2-4 times a week (apologies in advance if there's a delay)
(Photo by Stacey Gabrielle Koenitz Rozells on Unsplash)
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This story has an interesting premise, understandable characters, and a good writing style. I look forward to seeing more updates, and I'm interested to see where the story goes from here.
Style: The writing style is good - if not excellent - for a majority of the story. It tells the story mostly from the protagonist's (Kayrus's) point of view, and it shows his reactions to the whole event pretty clearly. The descriptions of characters are also clear and understandable, so one can easily imagine the characters.
Grammar: Overall, the grammar is excellent - there aren't a lot of errors. However, one thing that I noticed easily was the tense. The narrative switches from third-person present to third-person past, depending on what's being said.
Story: The premise of the story is that Kayrus, an orphan thief, fails to rob an archmagus; the archmagus then proceeds to enroll him in an magic academy, since Kayrus has the potential to be a Magus. It seems like Kayrus has the potential to be more than just a Magus as well, which is what helps make the story interesting.
Character: I can't say much for relatability, but I can say that the characters are interesting. From their interactions, you can determine pretty quickly what their personalities are - and all of the characters are well-written as well.
Overall, I think the story deserves this 4.5*. Once again, I look forward to seeing how the story progresses!
As I said I liked the worldbuilding aspect of the story very good. Your style is very good and it works wonder s because of actibve voice
I liked your style and it is very good and there is something to be said for third person view and dialogue delivery is very good I am a author myselp so I know how hard it can be.
Grammer is good and I am happy that you have made progress in fixing the mistakes I am also not a native english speaker so I know how much hard it is to get the grammer right.
I liked your character writing it defines the facial stuctures and physical discriptions of the character in an organic way and it is hard to do. Thats why you have my compliments
The upates are very nice and I would like to point out that you should fix a a manageable story schedule so you dont end up wreaking the storyline in a rush.
Keep doing the good work and as for grammer mistakes I suggest some online editors which can point out the mistakes from your draft.
I enjoyed the whole story very much and happy that I stumbled onto it I have followed it and hope that you mantain a good release schedule.
Reading through, I didn't find too many errors with this fiction. Overall, the start was pretty great. Putting that alongside with a good pacing at the start and more than a few set-ups for the future, it gets into premise that might be nice for the future. I can't say much for anything further into the story but the story is something I could recommend for now. 5/5 from me.
Oh how I love where the story might be going! There are already a few guesses in mind but I supposed it should be kept to myself. I love how the characters are described a well as the background, as well as some vocabulary I just learned.
Overall, it's a wonderful story.