Hell Hath no Hoagie

Hell Hath no Hoagie

by DavidDHammons

Steve, a half-demon on his mother's side, must find the sandwich that will bring upon the end of times! Or at least, that's what he tells his demonic bosses. In truth, he'd much rather just hang out with his friends, a Judge who summons bunnies to maintain the balance of good and evil, a hell-knight who enjoys slaughtering said bunnies, and a tortured soul who is perpetually on fire (who would very much like to snuggle said bunnies but has been told multiple times not to). Steve was supposed to care for the antichrist, and not let the guy get addicted to MMORPGs. But Steve claims that a terrific sandwich will awaken the bloodlust in the antichrist, and so he joins his companions on a road trip to find the most delicious, most evil, most apocalyptic-inducing sandwich of all time... and maybe a taco.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 862
  • Average Views :
  • 23
  • Followers :
  • 5
  • Favorites :
  • 2
  • Ratings :
  • 0
  • Pages :
  • 288
Go to Table of Contents
Fiction breaking rules? Report



Group Leader (I)
Word Count (12)
I Am Taking Off (V)
First Comment!
Table of Contents
37 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: Gore's Chosen Appetizer ago
Chapter 2: The Destruction of Lindbergh’s Family Eatery and Pub ago
Chapter 3: The Assault on Purity Advertising ago
Chapter 4: The Coming of the One Called Billy ago
Chapter 5: Gore Breaks another Window ago
Chapter 6: Steve Runs over an Angel ago
Chapter 7: The Immolation of a Tuna Fish Sandwich ago
Chapter 8: Gore Fails to Beat Someone with a Trombone ago
Chapter 9: Gore Pummels a Bartender ago
Chapter 10: The Conquest of the Tethered Soul ago
Chapter 11: Gore Once More Throws Burney Through a Window ago
Chapter 12: Burney Hugs a Duck ago
Chapter 13: The Terminator of the Ozarks ago
Chapter 14: Gore Shoots a Turtle ago
Chapter 15: Gore Coins Several New Colloquialisms ago
Chapter 16: Burney Makes a Terrible Sandwich ago
Chapter 17: Steve Explains Why He Would Not Kill Hitler ago
Chapter 18: Gore Explains Why Killing Lincoln isn’t Racist ago
Chapter 19: President Lincoln is Assassinated by a Japanese Sedan ago
Chapter 20: Ivan Show Tent, Is Good for Health ago
Chapter 21: Gore Opens the Gates of Hell ago
Chapter 22: Reenactors Take on an Army of Hell ago
Chapter 23: Ivan’s Refrigerator Explodes ago
Chapter 24: Burney Breaks the Tank ago
Chapter 25: Steve Crashes a Tank into a Furry Convention ago
Chapter 26: Steve Becomes a Half-Demon Cutie ago
Chapter 27: Steve Doesn’t Know How to Hotwire a Car ago
Chapter 28: Gore Wears a Furry Costume ago
Chapter 29: Dawn Summons a Horde of Evil Bunnies ago
Chapter 30: Burney is Strapped to a Plane ago
Chapter 31: Burney is Air-Dropped into the Mississippi River ago
Chapter 32: Free Sandwich Day! ago
Chapter 33: Gore Tells a Knock-Knock Joke ago
Chapter 34: Chapter Title Censored ago
Chapter 35: Steve Goes to Church ago
Chapter 36: Hell Still Hath No Hoagie ago
Chapter 37: Thanks for Not Starting the Apocalypse, Now Leave ago

Leave a review

Sort by: