- Traumatising content
[You are not the hero. You are the System that will enable him.]
Parker wakes up with the ability to control magic, a conspicuous lack of a body, and a whole lot of blue boxes. After being informed that a new hero--[Godkiller] Jerome Smith--is set on a path to fight the opposing System's Eternal King, Parker is forced to attach to the hero's body as his brand new System.
With status screens being the only way to communicate as they navigate this perplexing Continent, Parker and Jerome will have to learn to level, progress, and ultimately triumph.
Now, if only Parker can get Jerome to stop treating this like a video game...
Cover by MrMinimalist.
You can read up to 10 chapters ahead and support System Error at my Patreon.
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Updates on weekdays. Updates on weekends until I fall off Rising Stars.
Author's note: This fiction has a very unique style. It will be told this way throughout the entire fiction. Reading the first chapter will reveal what this unique style is.
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So, hmm, you've probably read atleast one litrpg if you're on royal road, if not more. People generally have mixed opinions about popular litrpg, but usually have one or two that they really like.
This story flips that on its head. The closest genre I've seen to it would be a dungeon core story, designed for hardcore litrpg fans. This story only has blue boxes, there is no normal dialogue, hell even the author telling you to follow is in a blue box.
I respect the determination. It's not a story for everyone, but I have a feeling that those who have been patrolling the lands of royal road, moving from one litrpg to the next, will really find this enjoyable and unique read.
Seriously, nothing like this exists out there. Not even close.
I see this story as a mix between those who like dungeon core stories, like litrpg or especially, those who write both. The grammar is good, no problems in sentence construction, and the system mechanics are intriguing.
I am really curious what the landscape of this story will look like a hundred chapters from now, and that alone is worth a read.
The rise of the blue boxes is coming, and neither you nor I can stop it.
Story rating: Based/10
This is it, this is the peak of Royal Road. The utmost pinnacle any story could dream of reaching. This is a story ENTIRELY made up of system messages, status updates, and anything else that fits into a table. Despite the popularity of the LitRPG genre, a story from a system's point of view hasn't really existed, until now, so I'm going to buckle up and expect the unexpected.
Also, creating this must take forever, the constant formatting would definately get on my nerves, so I have to offer commendation to the author for all this extra work.
Yes, I'm aware the story is composed entirely of blue boxes. I'm also aware a lot of other reviews on here are satirical. But there is a story there, if you can get past the formatting enough to read it - and it's a honestly a pretty good one. Parker and Jerome are both great characters with distinct personalities and voices. All the best moments are filtered through the lens of the incredibly sassy MC, who provides great contrast with the rather more... uh... games-oriented secondary MC, shall we say.
They do really feel like people from this world and culture, which is great. There are absolutely strong elements of satire and comedy here, but it's not the entirety of the story. I say give this story a chance, and pay attention to the characters, because you'll fall in love with them quite quickly. So, getting into it:
Everything being blue boxes is obviously the joke that's sort of the central premise of the story, but beyond that, the actual writing for the characters are excellent. The style here is essentially the character voices, so it coincides with the character score a bit? Half a point off because the table format makes it a bit unclear which character is speaking/writing the blue box.
Again, satirical nature aside, there's a lot of implications about the true nature of the story. The full picture isn't exactly clear yet, but what's there is enough for me to be sure this isn't just a story making fun of boxes; it does have a plot, we're just still in the early stages of it.
I have no issues with the grammar.
I've said it before, but the characters are where this story shines. If you read it, read it with the intent to care about the characters it's presenting to you. The entire premise is pretty much carried by Parker's excellent voice and overall sass.
A solid idea. Systems were personified, so what is it's actor.
The story fails in most areas.
The characters are annoying or nigh unidentifiable. They are minor caricatures that barely interact. We in practice listen to a monologue of an individual who has been debodied, died and turned into a glorified User interface. His reaction is be confused and then carry on as if it's a regular Tuesday.
The style is fitting but unappealing to read. It is exactly what a story written entirely in the boring tutorial tone of game would be like. Fits being a system, still not appealing to read.
The story itself has been all of a rushed tutorial stage of a game without any real character exploration plot setting or world building.
This story in essence is what if someone took the most boring tutorial stage in a game and made it the entire story.
It's a cool well written idea. Boring as fuck to read.
I suppose this is would be better read as a one shot rather than a web serial. It is certainly unique but lacks the immersive qualities most webserials have to keep me on the hook. That being said it is as advertised, but the humor, plot, and characters aren't hitting me enough to continue. I believe the best thing is the twist on the isekai trope but it feels played out 16 chaps in and the rest of the components are simply passable.
Over the years many setups have been tried for isekai stories.
Being reborn as an adventurer, a spider, an ant, even a vending machine.
This story boldly place the main character as a personnal system that specifically overview a single adventurer.
the worldbuilding is not deeply depicted so far but seems rather standard european middle-age. Plotwise the world is at war and it's a system war where at least two main system are fighting for territory.
the story style stand out as eveything is in blue box like the ones when information is dumped by the system for a system user to read. Thus the combat are described more on the side of skill being launched and damage being reported rather than immersive well depicted fights.
20 Chapters and barely as much hours have past in the story, it's gona be a slow paced story.
The story is delivered mainly throught the logs of both the main character and the adventurer he is attached to. Both being freshly reincarnated and not finding it shocking. No trauma to deal with, they adapt immediatly.
It feels like the story is meant to be a comedy but do not deliver. The problem start with the characters non stop complains.
The main character complains about the lack of information then about the guy he is attached to. He complains about how much work he has to do... and the rest of the time he is bored.
The places visited are discribed through the main character's log in a way that make them non attractive and boring. The monsters encountered are standard for the genre and so are the places.
The final nail in the coffin is the sidekick adventurer being a dick and bringing his own complains, and nasty point of view, on top of the already big pile of the main character.
Too much is too much.
The main character, who is human but also a bodyless personal system, decide early to pretend being only an Artificial Intelligence. That could have been funny without the constant complains.
The main character has to discover his new task from the ground up. A lot of trial and error is involved, which is good. A lot of trial is solved by blindly droping points on top of it, which lack a science touch.
It's also quite frustrating to see how sparingly the main character is using his point when he is sitting on a huge pile of several tens of thousand that can be eventualy refiled but is agonizing when he spend only one hundred. But maybe it's a good idea that the author keep his cards hidden for later.
The story has potential and is still in its early stage. Who knows, maybe the main character will find a way to dump his protégé and become independant. Anything to save the current predicament will be welcome.
Something need to happen for as it is the story is more about discribing unpleasant coworkers in a black company rather than an isekai meant for adventure and action.
grammar is fine. Vocabulary is standard. Neither an hindrance or a delight to read.
Obligatory: Read up to current(though there is more on patreon) 19.
Style: I was leery about something that was so box heavy just because muh eyeballs but it wasn't actually bad, and like most gamers after learning the formatting they become pretty easy to start skimming over with minimal effort. Excellent tagging of the boxes in regards to who is speaking/thinking. Found them very enjoyable after a chapter or two.
Story: I don't spoiler in talking about actual content when I review. There are relatable and familiar plot tropes and neat new takes on old themes. Pacing is pretty well done, except for the power gamer in me that wants the author to stop sleeping and just start dropping chapters; a feeling that I usually relate to being a 'good thing' about how my enjoyment of the story progresses. If you are a fan of RPG's, JRPG's, or even Bethesda games like Elder Scrolls then the system is going to seem pretty fun.
Grammar Score: Haven't noticed any problems with any immersion breaking errors or inconsistencies. No truly wild stretches of vocabulary, but given where the story is it would be weirder to me if the author broke out a thesaurus. Very good.
Character: I wanted to hate the... I don't know what to call him. ONE of the leads. He grows on you, though, like fungus. The <HIDDEN> MC is fantastic, and the support characters and their sort of resigned attitude toward helping the leads is quite charming and refreshing.
The shameful use of 'poggers' and how it felt 'okay' with how it is written deserves a special call out. Makes me want to subtract points from MYSELF.
I think most people will enjoy this. Well done.
Based is the kafka of litrpg and he has fashioned for his deuteragonist a new and exciting layer of hell.
The premise is a fate worse than death for everyone involved and the execution is just M̶o̶n̶i̶k̶a̶ system prompts. It is a genre into itself.
The central conflict is that she's not gonna fuck you bro, you're a series of blue boxes. The only way this could be improved at all is if it were written entirely in second person.
A stunning work of speculative fiction.
Blue Boxes for Days. And its awesome.
Story is told from System perspective. Its a neat way to have a lot of background, 3rd person view of a story. While the other MC does the mundane stuff of having to walk around and talk to people. The Boring stuff.
Can't wait to see what these two idjits get up to.
also truck kun struck again!
The premise is delightfully unique, with the protagonist struggling to accomplish his task as the System half of a Hero+System pair, with no documentation, comments, or a mentor to provide aid. Worse, his "Hero" is the end-user who could not be bothered to read any of the tutorial that was provided for said Hero.