Beginning the legend of Spartan Fire restaurant

Beginning the legend of Spartan Fire restaurant

by Jomegs

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Create a Legend (CAL) is the game where Legends are born.

Kit’s dream is a little different than most who join the virtual reality massive multiplayer online game. He is going to make his stamp on the world with his very own slice of heaven. He aims to open his own restaurant and hopefully turn it into the never achieved before level five restaurant.

Will he be able to succeed?  Will he fade into the background like many others before him? Join Kit as he navigates the vast empire of CAL, trying to achieve his dream, meeting new friends and killing some monsters.

[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
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Word Count (12)
Group Leader (IV)
Table of Contents
84 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
1. Anticipating a new beginning ago
2. Gaming capsule ago
3. Why are you a cat? ago
4. Sweet Meadow ago
5. The Waddling Duck ago
6. Magic of course (Part 1) ago
7. Magic of course (Part 2) ago
8. Pint ago
9. Spectral Nile Reptiles (Part 1) ago
10. Spectral Nile Reptiles (Part 2) ago
11 . Rewards ago
12. Sweet Meadow Beer ago
13. Captain Mars ago
14. Cute Little Fluff Ball ago
15. Monak’s Map ago
16. Monak’s Story. ago
17. Self-assembly, yes please! ago
18. Leaving Sweat Meadow ago
19. MEAT ago
20. Monkey brain nut ago
21. Apelop brain salad ago
22. King of the Apelops ago
23. Swift Feet Boots ago
24. Visitor ago
25. Death fish ago
26. Flower Field Town ago
27. Library ago
28. Culinary guild Part 1. ago
29. Culinary guild Part 2 ago
30. Morrigan ago
31. Bloodroot ago
32. Qualified Chef ago
33. Market stall ago
34. Snickers contract ago
35. Western gate ago
36. Moon juice magic ago
37. Moon sphynx ago
38. Beautiful slumber ago
39. Large blue headed duck ago
40. Liquid gold ago
41. Hoarder of precious things. ago
42. Teleport? ago
43. Travel gate. ago
44. Twix. ago
45. What level are you? ago
46. Is this Spartan Fire? ago
47. Spartan Fire ago
48. Grandpa’s Offer ago
49. Founding member position ago
50. Town Hall ago
51. Blueprints ago
52. What the hell am I going to call it? ago
53. Spartan Fire Restaurant Part 1 ago
54. Spartan Fire Restaurant Part 2 ago
55. Spartan Fire Restaurant Part 3 ago
56. Spartan Fire Restaurant Menu Board ago
57. Mud wallower swamp ago
58. Blood bug ago
59. Large clay pot ago
60. Wallowing blue poison ago
61. Raising the prestige points ago
62. Snowballs skills ago
63. Red velvet lake ago
64. Purple tailed turtle ago
65. First official customer. ago
66. Red velvet bloom ago
67. Is this how you raised the prestige points? ago
68. Spartan Fire quest board ago
69. Spartan Fire promotion. ago
70. Did you poison her? ago
71. Clerical recruitment. ago
72. Lucky sticky apple cider ago
73. Sea of tents ago
74. What should I do? ago
75. Lucky sticky candy apples ago
76. New Uniforms ago
77. Grand opening ago
78. How is that calming the masses? ago
79. What the hell was that Snickers ago
80. Town meeting ago
81. Peaches ago
82. That’s great at least one of us knows what to do ago
83. Interviews ago
84. Employee contract ago

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Decent idea hamstrung by bad prose/grammar

Reviewed at: 10. Spectral Nile Reptiles (Part 2)

I wanted to like Spartan Fire Restaurant. I very much did. But the grammar, spelling, and prose are... not great. The author doesn't seem to know that "tough" isn't spelled "tuff" or that sentences in quotation marks have commas if they continue (like this):

"This fiction isn't very good," said Ben. "I will go read something else."

I have a feeling the author is ESL. If so, I'm not going to really criticize him for something like this.

If it was well written with good spelling, grammar, prose, etc, I would give it 5 stars. The idea is good, but the writing is not.