Sara's (not really) Fabulous System Armageddon, Book I: The World Ended at Rush Hour

Sara's (not really) Fabulous System Armageddon, Book I: The World Ended at Rush Hour

by MDW

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Planet Earth, Monday, October 7th, 2019.  18:30

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On a fateful day, during rush hour in eastern North America, Heavens and Hell crumbled and fell from their higher dimension on Earth. It came from "above" but not the same above we regard in our tridimensional Euclidean reasoning. No, it came from "above" as in from a higher dimension. Bits and pieces of those places fell on Earth from all directions, this time in tridimensional Euclidean space.

Satellites, the ISS, and space debris all were wiped clean from orbit. Even those that didn't crash with the falling debris were knocked off orbit by the shockwaves. On the ground, power distribution lines were disrupted and most power facilities were left abandoned by their dead staff. Most of these had emergency shutdown routines that engaged in a few days. Some others had a survivor among their staff that followed protocol and activated their SCRAM switches, stopping the power plant. Long-distance communication disappeared the internet along with it. The world was plunged into technological darkness.

Nine hundred and ninety-nine out of every thousand human beings perished immediately in the pulse of magical energy from the torn spatial boundary. Spirits were rent asunder and vanished, their fate neither salvation nor damnation, only oblivion. The criteria used for this culling was latent magic potential. It didn't discriminate against education, gender, age, or ethnic group. But of the around seven million survivors, most would meet their doom moments later.

Those on moving vehicles, like the ones driving on highways suddenly had to contend with high-speed uncontrolled cars and trucks driven by corpses. Trapped in their vehicles and helpless, they became part of the long snake of crushed metal. Very few survived. Those in the air or out in the sea were alone and probably unable to control their rides. Airplanes crashed, and ships kept their course or drifted away, depending on their autopilot.

Several ended their own lives in utter despair after seeing their loved ones die in front of them. Another large group would die at the hands of other survivors. Violence and aggression became the norm. Only a few sparse pockets of not-so-sane survivors managed to band together and cooperate for the sake of mutual survival.

The sole survivor in a five-over-one apartment building in Georgia, a girl became the keystone to humanity's survival. Sara's fabulous System Apocalypse had just started. 

She has only one remark.

It was anything but fabulous.

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Updates every Wednesday and Sunday.


Cover V2 credits: CC-BY-SA Midjourney


Cover V1 Credits:

Consumed, Jennifer Hansen.jpg (CC BY-SA 3.0) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Consumed,_Jennifer_Hansen.jpg

John Martin (public domain):

- The Great Day of His Wrath

- The Last Judgment

- Le Pandemonium

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Author
MDW

MDW

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Table of Contents
73 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Sara's (rather long) prologue ago
Foreword - C&D Letters, TItle Changes, and What to Expect. ago
Sara's (rather traumatic) Fateful Encounter ago
Sara's (hopefully imaginary) Magical Companion ago
Sara's (absolutely disgusting) Friendly Neighbors. ago
Sara's (totally fake) First Kiss ago
Sara's (gross and unpaid) New Job ago
Interlude: A Fabulous Armageddon Collab with an A.I. (I hope it wasn't Skynet). ago
Sara's (probably flawed) Power Up Strategy. ago
Sara's (out of my league) Metaphysics Lessons ago
Sara's (deceitful and murderous) Conscientious Tenant ago
Sara's (awfully botched) Rescue ago
Sara's (Look, why do you keep trying to sugarcoat stuff? Be honest for once!) Neighborhood Warfare ago
Sara's (totally fake, didn't count) First Kiss ago
Appendix: Lakeview Apartments arc summary. ago
Sara's (failed and useless) Finishing Strike ago
Interlude: Another collab with the A.I. ago
Sara's (Liar! This one is all about the Cop) Crisis of Conscience ago
Sara's (completely unintentional) Exp Leeching Strategy. ago
Sara's (grossly exaggerated) Killing Spree ago
Sara's (what? no double entendre? Oh, I see it.) Shopping Spree ago
Sara's (emotionally draining) New Friends ago
Sara's (butchered and ripped-off) System Design ago
Sara's (rather bothersome) College Tour ago
Sara's (eerily suspicious) Special Forces Recruitment ago
Sara's (passive-aggressive) Diplomatic Endeavors ago
Sara's (No way! Honesty at last!) Indoors Camping. ago
Sara's (Weird and Suspicious) Mystical Event ago
Sara's (totally important and selfless) Humanitarian Mission ago
Sara's (forced and awkward) Musical Performance ago
Sara's (vile and unwanted) Gaming Boyfriend ago
Sara's (harrowing and sinister) Apocalyptic Omen ago
Sara's (unexpected and misleading) Haunted Dinner ago
Sara's (tortured and pitiful) Estranged Mutant Acquaintance ago
Sara's (unwilling) Blood Bath ago
Sara's (exaggerated but necessary) Bickering Olympics ago
Sara's (yeah, that's rather okay) Side Quest ago
Sara's (its an outright lie) Great Arson ago
Sara's (confusing and unwarranted) Dimensional Physics Lesson ago
Sara's (what? that's so misleading!) Suicide Pact ago
Sara's (fake and unhealthy) Glorious Apotheosis ago
Sara's (shocking and just wrong) Late-Night Sex-Ed Lesson ago
Sara's (solemn and deeply needed) Morning Funeral ago
Sara's (...) Bloody Carnage ago
Sara's (400% Synch Rate) Unique Exorcism Technique ago
Sara's (hostile and undesirable) Secret Rendezvous ago
Sara's (no, you don't get to joke with this one) ... okay ... Traumatic Aftermath (thanks) ago
Sara's (involuntary) Wicked Extinction Agenda ago
Sara's (not at all surprising) Urban Guerrilla ago
Sara's (say no to child soldiers) Unhealthy Parkour ago
Sara's (What the hell? Where from? Stop making up weird stuff!) Frigging Love Rival ago
Sara's (not my fault, go play the blame game elsewhere) Utter Failure ago
Sara's (gaunt and hellish) Unwanted Stalker ago
(Erm Hello? Title guy, it's dark in here! Where did you go? Don't leave me alone! Please come back!) ago
Sara's (oh, now you are back... I... I don't like how it sounds...) Mexican Standoff. Part 2 of 2 ago
Sara's (finally some plot armor, bitches!) Kingdom Come ago
Sara's (Oh, that's from Campbell's...) Magical Flight (wait, does that mean... Gasp!) ago
Sara's (author dude, don't break immersion with your crap!) Reader Satisfaction Survey! ago
Sara's (a spin-off spinning out of control) Halloween Special Canonical (u sure bro?) Time-Loop ago
Sara's (in six hours, it will be worthless anyway) Robin Hood Master Game. ago
Sara's (everything went suspiciously well so far. I guess it... yup, there it is) Deja Vu Armageddon ago
Sara's (I don't like it when things speed up) Armageddon Speedrun ago
Sara's (that went so well. Dammit) VIP Humanitarian Interview ago
Sara's (God, make it stop!) War Declaration ago
Sara's (dude, due process and presumption of innocence) Acts of National Treason ago
Sara's (MAKE IT STOP) Armageddon Readiness Plan ago
Sara's (It means "back to the beginning" and "very fast" in musical notation) Da Capo Prestissimo ago
Sara's (it was either that or Los Angeles) Gambling Fever ago
Sara's (never my fault) Las Vegas Fast Food Hullabaloo ago
Sara's (a girl gotta eat) Business Venture ago
Sara's (so much deja vu) Armageddon Party Crasher ago
Sara's (dude, what about my character arc?) Reborn Trust Issues ago
Book 2 Status ago

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Reviews
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Flea04
Overall

Great idea ruined by chapters out of order.

Reviewed at: Sara's (butchered and ripped-off) System Design

I likes the story at the beginning a lot more than I thought I would. It was like a really good rough draft we're all beta reading for the author. 

Some chapters were mixed up and became really confusing at times. 

The MC was at first relatable and interesting but after a while I found her frustrating and stubborn to the point of stupidity. 

The POV switches and date stamps were jarring.

I ended up not finishing when I got to the chapter about the system design at the college. Sarah's stubbornness toward Abby the fairy and fully integrating became my last straw. 

halycon404
Overall

It's good till it gets to the part the MC starts interacting with other people. Then it just falls down. Characters come fast with little in the way of personality for the glut.

Your milage may very on this part, but the characters the author did decide to spend time with and somewhat flesh out I just didn't care about. They're boring. Which made the entire experience less enjoyable.

Bedwig
Overall

The grammar is good. There are either no mistakes, or very little mistakes. From what I can remember, I didn't spot any.

The story is interesting. The world ended, and, from what I gather, all (Except for the MC) the kids died, and only the adults are left. Feels like a reverse to some stories where all the adults died and only the kids are left. There is a system, but it's unique to the MC for now. The story also seems to be a bit heavy on christianity.

I think once the MC met other characters, the interactions between them just felt flat. I don't know if it's just me, but it always feels like the character interactions are just missing something.

This story is still pretty interesting. Reccommend it.

JoshuaRendon
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

It's a good story, it's a great change to the classic LITRPGs where the main character is super powerful or incredibly weak; however what I don't like is how sara faces certain situations, I'm not saying that it's not bad done just that to my taste I would prefer her to act in a different way.

As for grammar or style I have nothing to say since I read the novel translated on the computer.
 The novel itself is highly recommended for anyone looking for a good story, with good characters who act in a real way, and who is interested in the post-apocalyptic litrpg genre where blue screens don't pop up every time the main character does anything.

 

 

 

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ShipTeaser
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Firstly, the prologue is one of the best intro hooks i've read yet, managaing to flesh out the MC, the world and prepare for the 'system apolcalypse' all at once. I was very curious to see how it all played out... and it did not dissapoint.

Sara, the MC, while being a bit of the stereotypical loner, has VERY compelling reasons to be so, and despite being a pretty selfish person mainly concerned about herself, she is extremely likable, and does get plenty of that sweet character growth.

The 'Apocalypse' itself is somewhat intriguing, and how the system plays out is as yet not entirely known, though Sara's unique personal system is interesting with great potential going forwards, as is what she has to do to get stronger, which is a bit different from killing traditional foes...

Other characters started off a bit like cyphers, but as the story progressed more were added and fleshe dout, all distinct and enjoyable, even the bad ones. This can only improve as time goes on as well.

The humour is both real and exaggered at the same time, and i find it works well.

Writing style is good, the only critisism i can really level is there are quite a few wrong word choices, but it's by no means a deal-breaker and is only an editing problem.

All in all, i'm definitely hungry for more and waiting to see where Sara's journey can take her next...

Vitaly S Alexius
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

[ Sara's (not really) Fabulous System Apocalypse ] is a quite a mouth-filling name. 

It is a post-apocalyptic novel that follows the story of Sara, the sole survivor in a five-over-one apartment building in Georgia.

The novel chronicles Sara's journey as she tries to find other survivors in a world that has been plunged into darkness after Heavens and Hell crumbled and fell from their higher dimension on Earth.

While the premise of the novel is interesting, the execution is even tastier!

The story is well-written and engaging, and the characters are likable and relatable.

I particularly enjoyed the journey of self-discovery that Sara goes through as she tries to come to terms with the new world she finds herself in.

Overall, I would highly recommend Sara's (not really) Fabulous System Apocalypse to anyone looking for a post-apocalyptic novel that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. The style of writing is very engaging and easy to read.

The author does a great job of world-building, and the story is very well-paced.

The grammar is generally good as far as I can tell with my Soviet eyes.

Character Score : The characters are likable and relatable, as I'm actually planning no moving to Georgia!

Keep it up!

CircusPony
Overall

So far so good! I like the setting so far, and the concept will hopefully play out well. With this author, I have really come to expect a great story. The character has her personality set up well at this point, and I hope to see some decent character growth (not really afraid we won't with our author) as the story continues. With weekly releases and multiple editing passes, I haven't seen anything to throw me out of the flow yet.

Also, I love the chapter titles!

DanceLikeAFool
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

TLDR: Want a system story that doesn't hammer you with boxes but has them? A story that has a purpose driving it along AND quality of life chapter side-quests and stories? Want an MC that isn't a mindless murder-bot prepper hero #&@^-yeah bubble-gum chewing sociopath? Want to FEEL something?

She's a 10, but she's still purifying her mana channels and discharges gunk.

Merging style and grammar score explanations because you can't stop me.  Grammar is excellent with the very few mistakes. There are a few errors but they're only noticeable if you are actively looking for them, and given the author notes suggesting revision and the comment section pointing them out they'll probably get ironed out. Style wise, MDW is absolutely alright with making the reader go through some things. This is not a start that suggests everyone in the story is going to have a happy ending, or even make it to the end. MDW deals with the reality of their MC's situation with brutality and clarity, showing it to be necessary for the narrative without any weird fetishizing. Very bad people exist. There is a clear driving force to the story with episodic events making the pacing excellent and enjoyable.

Story score: Excellent. There are some bold narrative choices to drive the plot along in the beginning, and they work. It's a system story, and there's a system that the character is eased into instead of drowned in at the start. The MC has a passenger that drives forward emotional development as well as a cast that plays to counterpoints good and bad. Optional "side-quests" make the story flow very well and the landscape of the apocalypse, errr, armageddon, are well-thought out using detailed maps and real-world examples.

Character: Sara is difficult to follow in the beginning because you feel sorry for her right off the bat, which she would hate. There are a lot of relatable tropes and life experiences that were pulled into the generation of her personality. Furthermore, her personality is consistent and compelling. I like her passenger and the obvious way it is developing. I'm not a huge fan of the other survivors in the story, but not because they are written poorly. They are actually written very well, making what would be my obvious distaste and loathing for some of them into tolerant dislike and neutrality. They appear to be developing and growing as characters as well, and I won't be surprised if I actually start liking (some) of them. >.> Sara supremacy.