Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Milo Atkins has just woken up from a 200 year cryo sleep to find his vision for a super-powered earth realized. He's showered with praise and comforts for pioneering this new step in human evolution.

But Milo himself, put to sleep due to his immunity to the process to gain super powers, grows concerned about the parades and celebrations in his name. He's the last human alive without ANY powers, after all. His suspicions are confirmed when he realizes that the curvaceous doctor assigned to him, is actually a convicted felon.

Why would a world filled with superheros want someone normal? And why the pretense?

[The price of power...is flesh.]

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  • Grammar Score
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  • Pages :
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Author
LynaForge

LynaForge

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Blob6997
Overall

Promising Scifi story

Reviewed at: Known to You 6

promising scifi/superhero/dystopia.

tldr: snarky scientist presumably responible for creating superpowers is reanimated 200 years later by a scientist who, like all of her family, is about to die from an outburst(and subsequent downburst) of flight in the coming weeks. They go on their search for another reanimated collegue of the first, and that's all up to ch. 6 at this point. may update when more chapters came out.

Competent grammar and worldbuilding so far.

Astrille
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Promising but Difficult to Follow

Reviewed at: Known to You 6

Having read the first six chapters, I'm left interested but a little confused.

The synopsis implies that Milo is the main character of the story and yet, so far, we have seen only the footprints that he has left in the sand. We know he exists, but that is the extent of our understanding. This would be fine by itself as I don't mind a slow start but when combined with the time jumps that seem to take place between (and within) chapters, it feels disorientating.

Because descriptions of memories and past events are woven into chapters into current time without prompting or much explanation, it feels like I'm constantly second guessing myself about when actions are taking place. So much focus needs to be wasted on understanding whether the scene is in the past, is happening currently or whether a chunk of time has actually elapsed without me noticing that it would be easy to miss some of the lovely details included by the author (such as mis-heard or misunderstood names by Evan when the chapter switches to his PoV).

As such, I've rated the style fairly low. It feels unfair because the story itself is unfolding nicely. The world building is paced well, creating vivid visuals without feeling too heavy. The story score also suffers as a result as it feels like I'm slotting pieces of a puzzle together... but perhaps not the puzzle that the author intended.

The characters save this story so far. They're dynamic and interesting, with clear voices within the story itself.

All in all, the story is good, with the potential to be great. It just needs a bit more untangling so those rogue threads support rather than hinder the author. 

beast_regards
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

STUFF! Then STUFF! And more STUFF!

Reviewed at: Known to You 6

Do No Harm is a story about ... stuff ... and then more stuff... 

Style - Story is written in the 3rd person omniscient narrator, which in itself is fairly straight forward and commonly used style, and after reading into it a little bit I also believe that story is actually told in chronological order as well, aside of the single flashback in the chapter too. Main problem of the story is a copious amount of head-hopping, where we follow the viewpoints of multiple characters, dealing with one event through several angles where we don't know in which head are we supposed to be at any given moment. And all of that in omniscient 3rd person narration. Result is a complete mess, 3.5 out of 5.

Grammar - Any and all stories I review shall receive 5-stars in grammar by default. English isn't my first language.

Story - A guy wokes up from the hibernation years in the future, and is caught in the chaos when "terrorists" attack the "parade". It is apparent there is a foul play on all sides, and nothing is as it seems, and no one will tell the protagonist the truth. Problem is, this is told from multiple viewpoints where POV jumps several times during the chapter, and everything is a guessing work. Basic premise of the story can be only understood from synopsis, story doesn't explain almost anything at all. Without the synopsis, and without several re-reads of the chapter, it is just "stuff" and then "stuff" with "more stuff" with "stuff" in between. Tragic part about this is that author obviously had an idea about the overall story, she just couldn't put it "on paper", and result is this total chaos. 3.5 out of 5.

Characters - Are a joke. There is a plenty of them, each with their own suggested motives, which is a good thing per se, but we don't know who is who, just names, and omniscient narrator constantly switching between them. 3.5 out of 5. 

Overall - it's a ... STUFF! Honestly, this story is so confusing I can't honestly suggest it to anyone. However, I will not go below by current rating as a believe it is actually fixable. 3.5 out of 5. 

Snekek
Overall

what in tarnation? i have no idea whatsoever of what is happening. the largest piece of information i got was from the synopsis. without it i might as well be reading russian. the timeskips are so confusing that you cant tell what is going on at any given time or if there even is a timeskip. there is no context as to who you are experierncing the events with. it seems that even the author has only the slightest idead of whats going on. needless action. just seems like word filler. now i know that i might be giving a too harsh reaction but i dont write that many reviews. if someone can convince me to pick it up again i dont think i can go on. sorry. (just realized that my review was a large ramble. not going to change it but i know that it is mainly just repeating myself.)