Original HIATUS Adventure Virtual Reality

Six years after being orphaned, twenty-two-year-old Christina Bolen is finally getting her life in gear. With a business degree, Chris will finally be able to afford the life she wants for herself, but more importantly for her sister. Unfortunately, things don’t turn out the way they were supposed to. Chris is accused of a murder she didn’t commit and before she knows it she is a pawn in a game within a game. The only way out is learning to dominate in the virtual world humanity is losing itself in. A game world so widespread that it is replacing the real one in every aspect, including, or especially, the financial one. She might have never been a player before, but Chris vows to earn a spot on the gameboard. Even if that spot doesn’t exist yet.

 

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Author
SnowMelts

SnowMelts

Achievements
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: EDITED VERSION ago
Chapter 2: EDITED VERSION ago
Chapter 3: EDITED VERSION ago
Chapter 4: EDITED VERSION ago
Chapter 5: EDITED VERSION ago
Chapter 6: Martyred ago
Chapter 7: Incarcerated ago
Chapter 8: Advised ago
Chapter 9: Paired ago
Chapter 10: Replaced ago
Chapter 11: Gladiated ago
Chapter 12: Created ago
Chapter 13: Affiliated ago
Chapter 14: Targeting ago
Chapter 15: Grinding ago
Chapter 16: Commercing ago
Chapter 17: Sacking ago
Chapter 18: Picking ago
Chapter 19: Excaliburing ago
Chapter 20: Requested ago
Chapter 21: Stretching ago
Chapter 22: Portrait ago
Chapter 23: Bonded ago
Chapter 24: RuneGate ago
Chapter 25: I'm tired of giving chapters names. Numbers from now on. ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
Chapter 38 ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chapter 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Announcement: Edited Chapter 1 and New Fiction (First Academy) ago
Reviews

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Trystan
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Interesting way to make VR important

After reading chapters 0-6, I have to say this story is really promising. It is certainly fresh, and while it is still at exposition phase, I can say I will like this story in future for sure.

Style: I don’t see any problems with style. While you are building your story slowly, you managed to not make it boring. Dialogues are easy to follow, no confusion occurs and everything fits nicely together.

Story: Consistent story steming from unusual VR background motivation of characters. Usually VR worlds have problems of how to make conflicts be meaningful, since what happens does not happen in reality. This idea allows different approach than usual VR stories, and I can barely contain my excitement for how it will continue developing.
Grammar: I have not much to say about grammar. I have not found any displeasing disturbance in force.
Characters: Your characters seem alright. Not enough time has passed to see how you manage character development, but I believe you will make me reconsider character score after few more chapters. When Chris and her sister meets, there is short moment that felt bit forced, but it was not really big problem.

To potential reader: This seems to be beginning of enjoyable story from promising author, who is backed by both good idea and skills necesary to suceed. While story is still in its earliest phase, from these few chapters, I can easily conclude it is going to be one of better RRL works. 

lulol
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It make sense, and i love it

This is quite a story you're writing here.

i read it and loved it. You characters are goal driven, all of them, from the Heroine to each lawyers we meet, and it give sense to your story. It's not only some college student playing around with vr and one more super Vr game that everybody play.
You also explore the impact vr have on society. it's interesting, but maybe you could depict a little more the universe everybody live in : We can feel the power of super-big-companies (Nova and cc), we can feel that there is a wide social divide based on Vr access, but it's not clearly depicted. It's  blurry.
Unlike many other, you're not totally avoiding the issue of how time acceleration and a massive VR world would influence and shape our society. 
Plus here Vr is viewed as a tool, and not as a game, and i like this approach, I find it  realistic.
You have not yet written a single chapter of true VR, but i'm looking forward to read it. I hope all your careful world-building won't crumble as the game start. Will maybe turn this into a full review when game start. As of now, story is a five :)

Exninja
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Tasteful Backstory, dare we ask for more?

So far there is not a lot that has happened as of chapter 13, but the way with which the world is developed is top notch. My other praise for this story is that where most stories either do not really tell you anything about the world or do it in such a manner that it overwhelms the reader, this story does the opposite it tastefully presents what is necessary to provide the reader a taste of what the world is like.

Good job and keep up the quality.

Cloudwatcher
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Really one of the better stories on RRL

So the story thus far isn't long, but even with the little that's there I'm happy to say this is one of the better stories on RRL.  It's well written, the MC is both interesting and realistic, and the world building is being done extremely well.

If you are looking for something new to read I highly recommend that you try this one out.

NekoRyu
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A must read. Definitely one of the top stories on RRL.

First off, I must admit that I'm not very good at giving reviews, but I'll try anyways.

Also, I'm not going to get very detailed as I want to avoid any and all spoilers.

Style: No problems with the style. World-building seems a bit slow, but there's actually so much going on in the background with politics and what not that you'll have quite a good grasp on the world our MC lives in before you even know it. 

Story: The story is top notch and really refreshing. It's one of the best VR-stories I've read so far. It's main selling point, in my opinion, is that the focus isn't really on the game, but the connections to the real world. So everything the MC does affects her life in some way and may or may not bring her closer to her goal. Basically, the game is just a means to an end. But despite that, the game is well thought out and very enjoyable to read about even if you don't take the connections to the MC's rl into consideration.

Character: I can only think of one way to describe the characters, and that is to describe them as "real". Every character, whether it's the MC or just some more minor character, they all have their own personality and ambitions. They do whatever they do with their own reasons in mind, no matter if that reason is something insignificant like picking up girls, or something more important like the MC's goal. The character interactions are also superb, the dialogues flow nicely and. as a reader, I often find myself drawn into the pace and mood a dialogue sets. With this story, this means I often find myself on edge, nervously scrolling down further during some tense exchanges of words. Especially since, as I mentioned before, there's a LOT going on in the background and most things said have more mening than meets the eye.

Grammar: The grammar is pretty good, with only the occasional mistake here and there, though even those are usually pointed out rather quickly by people like me. So you'd probably have to try REALLY hard to find mistakes in the finished product.

TL;DR: Awesome, RL-driven VR story with good character development and fleshed out characters. Grammar is also good. 5/5

Ps. I couldn't help but give the story the top score in everything. I probably love it too much to see any faults with it at this point.

flakes
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So far a lot of back story, but...

There is a lot of backstory here, and I am really waiting for the dive into the VR world.  Some people might say that backstory is boring, but to me this level of detail generally means that the story itself will be richer.  Yes I could wish that there was more action, but hopefully the author won’t let me down when the times comes.

thelazyauthor
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amazing, have you considered selling this as an e-book, love her very human response to the situations

catbearpenguin
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MMM this story is like a sexy manatee

Well written , amazingly well though out and tasty like lettuce 

Krushah
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This is yet another LitRPG that I enjoy reading. Excellent character development and grammar. Interesting plot. Well written with an easy to follow style. I normally do not care for female main characters, to me they are usually poorly done. But this writer overcame my reluctance to like her and now I am hooked.  

Keep up the good work SnowMelts, and post more chapters soon please!

phuang2001
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Great Story that starts slow with careful world buidling.  Premise is a little flat but the story picks up and the MC grinding of skills and stats is pure LitRPG genius.    Hope to see more.  Highly recommend.