I love my friends. They’re great, they’re awesome. But this whole mess was killing me inside. I had no clue how to use this sword and shield. Sorry, I should have been more exact. Scimitar and buckler. Vetia kept telling everyone to “Just keep swinging your swords so you get the feel for them,” but I’d been swinging it since I woke up and it felt like there was no difference. Adam seemed like he was even getting a little bored of it. On top of that, everyone except for Vetia was on guard and being quiet so we wouldn’t attract predators, but she was certain that there were none because she could “sense them.”

“You guys should have seen it. Yesterday, before we were all together, Adam was confused as shit. I walked up to him and started talking to him like normal. He responds like normal a few times and then just straight up switches to talking like an ork from Warhammer or whatever it is, and I’m trying not to lose my shit when he’s saying shit like ‘me an’ mah boyz wuz out ‘ere in owa wagon’ you guys missed out. He kept that going for a while.

“What do you mean for a while? I did it like two times because you were acting suspicious as shit. Oh yeah, and I don’t wanna hear shit from the one who saw me and the first thing she thought of was making a fucking Skyrim reference.”

I had no idea what they were talking about, but clearly I missed a lot when I wasn’t with them. It was hard to stifle the laughter listening to them bicker back and forth about getting the accent right. It made the walk a little less tense, and I saw Brenden and Desmond both sigh and start walking normally.

“If we get attacked by another mammoth because of all your racket, I’m feeding you straight to the goddamn thing,” Desmond said.

“Straight to the goddamn thing…” Vetia retorted, expecting followup.

“What?” Desmond looked confused for a second.

“Straight to the goddamn thing…” and then Vetia mouthed something toward Desmond.

“No. No. No. No! I’m not doing this again. No. Fuck you. Fuck your hair. Fuck your massive tits. I’m never saying that goddamn word again.” Everyone was stifling laughter and Adam slowed a bit to hide his laughter. Even Brenden was breaking. Probably another thing I missed.

In the most teasing way possible, she said, “You don’t have to be rude. I, for one, happen to think it was very sweet. I’d never been called that before. Feel free to call me Mommy if you’re ever feeling scared again.”

At this point Desmond looked like he was ready to put an arrow in his own skull with how embarrassed he was. I definitely missed a lot. I figured I would just ask Adam at some point.

We kept walking for a while. Desmond led the way in sheer embarrassment while Adam told me the Mommy story in full detail. Brenden was reading his book the entire time, practicing hand motions in the air while little sparks of energy were crackling around his hands. At some points it looked like lightning, and other times like brief flames. I got enveloped in watching him practice, and didn’t even realize how long it was before we stepped into clear, open air.

“STOP!” Desmond’s voice bellowed out as we stepped toward the edge of a massive cliff.


About the author

Ren Cory

Bio: I'm an amateur writer, but I've got a story in my head that I want to tell. What I write won't always be amazing, but I really think it will get better with experience. I love reading and watching anything fantasy, scifi and anything in that sort of wheelhouse. I've always been inspired by those genres to be creative and do my own thing, creating entirely new worlds, histories, creatures, plants and the whatnot. I like trying out new ideas in the genres I love.

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