'The sun is really hot today.' That was what I was thinking, when my life came to an end. It's a boring, perfectly ordinary thing to think, which is appropriate, for a boring, perfectly ordinary boy like me. I didn't have many friends, or really, any friends for that matter. My looks were below average, while my parents were both fairly attractive in their own right. If things had gone well, I probably should have inherited their good looks.

Sadly, from a young age, I was diagnosed with Main Character Disorder, or MCD. An incurable disorder, it made my hair turn a bright shade of green, and caused my eyes and eyebrows to turn fully invisible, always tucked under the shadow of my bangs, which were inoperable. Needless to say, this affected my studies significantly, and from my permanent seating position (third seat back, next to the window) and lack of ears, which are too difficult to draw, I could never hear the teacher very well.

Average looks, average grades. Average life. Average me. Nothing about me stood out in any particular way. Well, almost nothing.

"Watch this sicknasty kickflip!" I shouted to my two friends, who were sitting on a guardrail. We were outside Neo Shinjuku Hyperrail station, and I was practicing the one thing I was proud of: my skateboarding moves.

"Bro!" Friend A shouted, holding his hands fanned into a cone to be heard over the roar of the hypertrams shooting past us, feet away."Be careful! Your skateboarding Chi isn't powerful enough for that move!"

"It's too extreme," Friend B chuckled. "Your skateboarding skills are only average. Not near enough to handle something as sick and/or nasty as that trick."

These bastards (TL: "These bastards" means 手前)! As if I were going to take that kind of sass from people who weren't even important enough to warrant having a name. I was determined, now, to prove them wrong. I threw down my board, sliding across it, and kicked a bit to build up speed. I would show them. I would show the WORLD that I had something above-average worth showing.

I ducked down low, and focused the entirety of my Skateboard Chi. Before their wondering eyes, I leapt into the air, board spinning below me, like the majestic sight of a drunken eagle that took a ride in a washing machine. Friend A and Friend B were astounded, shocked, dare I say, flabbergasted at the prowess on display before them. I looked over at my friends, grinning a smile, as I landed the trick expertly.

"How was that?" I asked, as I coasted off the platform and ate shit directly onto the train tracks. I looked up, horror dawning upon me as I saw the lights of the tram come rushing towards me. I closed my eyes and...


A voice in the darkness. Was this... the afterlife? Slowly, I opened my eyes.


The train had stopped in time. The conductor, furious, was shouting at me from the window, pulling his train horn over and over in a fit of rage.

"O-oh," I replied, relieved. "I'm Gomenasorry."

I reached down, scooping my board from where it lay, and moved towards the platform, stepping gently on the electrified third rail, which killed me instantly.

"Fufufu..." a voice called in the darkness, again. Only this time, it did not sound like a train conductor. This time, it sounded like a... a... g-g-g-girl?!?!?

I opened my eyes again, to find myself in a white void, filled only by a high podium, behind which sat a surprisingly familiar face. Was that... Kamiko? From my old grade school? It couldn't be, but yet, she looked exactly as I remembered. Bright purple hair, a frilly green dress, complete with a white bow, just like she wore every day in school in strict defiance of dress codes. And she even had the four-dimensional crown and flaming sword that I always teased her for bringing everywhere! But what was my childhood friend doing here, and why hadn't she aged? I may not be the best at math, but as a High School Senpai, I know for a fact that it must have been at least a full year since Grade School.

"Well," she trilled, her voice teasing, "it looks like your life has come to an end~"

She pushed a button on her podium, and a 48 inch flat-screen plasma TV descended from the mists, showing Kamen Rider. She glanced at it, before hitting another button, where it changed to read VIDEO 1.

"Let's get started, shall we?" she asked, baring a single fang at me.

"Gulp," I gulped. What kind of wacky trouble had I gotten myself into now?


That Time I Got Sent to Another World Where All of the Girls Are Super Hot and Super Into Me Because I Am Super Strong and Have Very Powerful Abilities that God Gave to Me Because Me and Them Were Friends When I Was in Grade School and God Is Actually A Loli Who is Also in Love with Me Because I Am A Super Epic Person Who Will Defeat The Demon Lord Who Threatens The Entire World but the Demon Lord Actually is in Love With Me and the Demon Lord is a Super Hot Busty Babe Who is Actually Just Trying to Get My Attention Because I Have a Cellphone That Can Contact the Internet and Can Get Anything Shipped To Me Within 2 Days But I Barely Need It Because I Am Actually the Most Strongest Guy Alive Because I Have Super Strong Powers Like Being Able to Lift Your Mom Really Easily Which is Nearly Impossible Because Your Mom is So Fat But is Actually A Secret Anime Busty Babe Who is Really into Me Because I Am Super Cool and Better Than Your Dad Because He is Super Lame Which I Am Not

A timeless classic
by MezzoCatorce

A note from MezzoCatorce

Thanks for reading! This note is from the future! These first couple of chapters are pretty chaotic and experimental. I plan to give these a rewrite once I've built up my backlog. If it's a little too much to handle, I encourage you to read at least up through 1.14, which is about where the style comes more into line with the rest of the following chapters.

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