Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Jacky and his Horror, the Sabered Prince, are forced into death matches against other Horrors in an almost impossible task to ascend the giant megastructure known as "The Warpath." Along the way; they will encounter powerful foes, allies, and new challenges. Forced to handle grief and loss how will Jacky overcome the mystery organization in control of the Warpath and how will his relationship with his Horror impact his life?

New chapters every Saturday Night! 

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 1,056
  • Average Views :
  • 48
  • Followers :
  • 12
  • Favorites :
  • 4
  • Ratings :
  • 6
  • Pages :
  • 161
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Achievements
I Am Taking Off (V)
Word Count (6)
5 Comments
Fledgling Reviewer (I)
First Review Upvote
Group Leader (II)
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
wose
Overall

Raw, bloody...needs a little extra time on the gri

Reviewed at: Recovery

I want to oreface this by saying that this is a cool story concept and that I dig what the writer's trying to do: good old tournament style ultraviolence and shady dealings in a biopunk dystopia. That stuff is my jam.

Unfortunately, a lot of the author's stylistic choices and matters of technique just aren't there yet. The present tense narrative is laid out like a literal screenplay and the dialogue is mostly exposition at times. The story suffers a lot of tell don't show which is a shame since the author has such a solid grasp on writing a good gory fight scene.

I would recommend, after their first oass on the story is done, that they revisit and change the structure. I will b back for it, because I can see some raw potential in this...it just needs a bit more time on the fire.

Pickle Reviews
Overall

Strange discovery. 

Good prose starting straight with a fight. I loved the character of the manager at the end. Lot of other characters being introduced like Lala and Lulu. I don't know what to expect but the MC seems intriguing.

No grammar issue. STyle is preety simple, the story is easy to read.

Cool start for a story action-oriented for sure