Dreamweaver Chapter 192
In the dwarven southern fortress (above the Abyss Shaft) and capital of the Southern Province.
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Translation; Miss Lottie, I can’t find the protection mage you were extorting! I’m so sorry!
“That guy owes me big time. I haven’t been able to collect this week. That’s like 3 gold more or less by now,” I complained.
He bows like a human despite being in cat polymorph form. He’s one of my oldest allies. I’ve had him for so long as a cat he prefers it and now he wonders why he ever wanted to go back being human. He’s got wonderful black splotches over his white fur and beautifully long whiskers. He has a tendency to twitchy like bat his nose with his front left paw, as if in some kind of tic. When he was a human he had such hugely intelligent brains that it made him the perfect butler cat.
I frowned. “And by the way I’m not extorting him. I’m building a witch’s kingdom! A kingdom for witches to be safe! There’s a difference! These are campaign funds also for recruiting other witches and building their places in our kingdom! I can’t help it if we have to get rid of a lot of humans first to make that happen. It’s not the same as those criminal ass hats that hide out like rats waiting to be eaten.”
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Yes, Miss Lottie! Please accept my repentance! Forgive me!
He cringed a bit after clapping his paws together while standing on hind legs nimbly. All my cats are afraid of me when I’m angry but that just makes them easier to control.
“Yes, well see that you get it right,” I said in a dignified way while on my throne in the pumpkin house.
Cat #47 (Butler cat #2) in cat speak; meowwwww! Translation; Miss Lottie, that’s not fair! Tempting us by talking about sweet delicious rats! Ohh gosh…./drool…when I was a human I didn’t realize what I was missing! Fuck, I love rats! I want to feel their chewy guts splash cherry syrup on my tongue! Then I’ll violate their innards with my jaws!
He rolls on the floor rubbing his back against the carpet.
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Discipline! Discipline young rascal! You dare defy Miss Lottie’s inner sanctum with your lack of discipline!
The other cats look scandalized with him.
Cat #47 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwww! Translation; Not fair! She mentioned the R word though. It’s like talking about pizza in front of a foodaholic you know. Gosh…I can’t stop drooling.
Cat #23 (Guard #4) in cat speak; Mewwwwwwww! Translation; I like rats too, nhyaaaaaa!
“You’re getting off topic here. I gave you specific orders!” I said.
Cat #47 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwww! Translation; Oh that’s right, we were looking for someone. Who was it again?
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; you guys are totally blasphemous to Miss Lottie.
Cat #47 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwww! Translation; I wish we could talk about rats again. So yummy…especially when they wiggle around a lot with some life still in them while in my jaws. I like to chew them when their still alive too…drool*
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! It can’t be helped that Miss Lottie made us covet rat innards this way! Oh jeez, I’m going to have a seizure from the delusion of sexual euphoria of chewing rat guts!
He shakes his head sadly.
“Maybe I should discipline them. What do you think?” I asked #57. He’s the only one with an attention span that is worthwhile.
Cat #47 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwww! Translation; Oh please don’t. I’ll stop screwing around Miss Lottie! Honest! I just am …hard to focus now.
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Umm…I’m thinking it’s time to sweep the living room again. I mean…with all 207 of us living here there’s so much dander even I can’t stand it. And we really should neuter #206 and 132. Oh, and also 27 and 69. They are…taking on too many liberties that don’t belong to them with the females.
Only number 27 heard.
Cat #27 (Good for nothing cat #3) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwww! Translation; Oi you! You ratted us out!
He makes as if to go punish the Butler Cat #1, but is stopped by a guard cat sternly who yanked his tail and then kicked him into the wall. Other guards look at him sternly to prevent retaliating.
“Hmm, that’s a good idea actually,” I said. I clapped my hands. “Make it so!” I ordered the guards.
Cat #27 (Good for nothing cat #3) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwww! Translation; No! Mercy!
In less than a minute three cats are being pulled out to the chopping block, being held by four other house cats each that are guards, which are walking on their hind legs as if human.
Yes we do use a chopping block for neutering here. It’s a dwarven city after all, and we like rules and those that conform to society.
We can still hear #27 putting up a fight as the many guard cats lead him away.
I love watching the cats act like little humans. They look so cute! Although they used to be human, one of my enchants helps them retain only the parts of humanity that I like. It’s also one of my better enchants.
Catform buff #9; this buff lets cats retain some measure of their human personality and slows the regression effects of stupidification as the human brain becomes more animal like. It also helps the cat joints be able to act somewhat human. It’s a wonderful buff that lasts for a week with my current power. So I only have to cast it on daily intervals of 207 divided by 7 per day. The only drawback so far is that I haven’t figured out how to make the buff able to let their little cat paws hold human weapons, which is my ultimate goal.
To compensate for that I use Catform buff #29 when using them in battle, which basically grows them to nearly man sized and sharpens their claws so they can act as my soldiers if I need to. It’s only temporary however and lasts a few minutes. But I don’t like casting that too much because it uses up a lot of space in the pumpkin house.
“Look it’s interesting to watch you guys abuse each other but we need to find my protection mage. I can’t find him anywhere. The last I heard there was a rumor that the dwarves had arrested him for some trumped up charges. And my mana bug that I placed on him isn’t working either,” I growled.
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Oh dear, dear! That’s terrible Miss Lottie. Don’t worry we’ll help you get through it.
Amazing! This guy has so much loyalty doesn’t he?! Why can’t the others be like him? Even his eyes are shining with love and appreciation.
Well…the brainwashing potion helped a little. But the ingredients for that thing are so rare…
Just then a jet black black streaked into my little throne room and saluted amidst twelve other cats that are now sweeping the floor with little brooms. He’s one of my type R-Brutus-31 variants. I usually have a cleaning crew going non-stop 24/7. You have to with this many cats but lately I’d been slacking off. I mean all the crowd control on a cat army this big is a lot of work you know.
Cat #36 (Elite Guard cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Miss Lottie! The dwarven guards are coming this way. We need to move the pumpkin house asap!
“Again?! Seriously this is the second time today. Won’t those guys ever learn that I can’t be outsmarted or beaten?!”
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Hmpph! They are dwarves Miss Lottie. You know how stubborn they can be. He sighed and is shaking his head.
Cat #36 (Elite Guard cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; So I have permission to bring you the house movement control wand your highness?
“Yes, yes go ahead,” I waved a hand while Butler #1 and 2 are delivering me my tea and cookies. The steam of the tea is filling the room with a wonderful aroma and the cookies smell good too.
“You washed your paws before handling the cookies right?” I gave butler #2 an evil eye.
Cat #47 (butler cat #2) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Of course Miss Lottie!
He smiles broadly.
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Just make sure you remember what happened to your predecessor. He forgot to wash his hands…and the next day went to the chopping block, he whispered in butler cat #2s ear.
Butler cat #2 stiffens instantly, but tries to look innocent. He’s trying to hard though, which makes me suspicious.
Yeah…tomorrow he’ll have a surprise inspection…I think he’s slipping.
In a few moments Cat #36 brings back my control wand. It’s a high powered device only I can use that controls the house shrinking into a carriage and sends it moving around. I don’t even have to get out because after all…I’m an emperor class witch. There aren’t very many of us.
I continue sipping my tea in peaceful bliss.
Being an emperor class witch is wonderful. I get to laze about…I mean…enjoy peaceful solitude all day. I make all things shift and bend to my will in cute ways. Dwarves aren’t cute though. I should add them to my races to exterminate list along with humans.
And the cat army seems strange to others, but when you consider how many spies and guards I have and that I only have to pay them in small amounts of mice, rats, and fish it’s obscene how cheaty this series of enchant specializations is.
Cat #36 (Elite Guard cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Miss Lottie! I have confirmed the carriage is on the move. We will be gone by the time the dwarven city guard arrives.
Cat #37 (Elite Guard cat #2) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; I also have confirmation Miss Lottie. Also our new location is confirmed to be clear of any humanoid or demi-human trash or homeless. It has a nice rat population too.
I notice he licked his jaws when he said that last part.
Cat #36 (Elite Guard cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; wait, you didn’t base this location off that did you?
He asked that directly to Elite Guard #2.
Cat #37 (Elite Guard cat #2) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Miss Lottie, do you believe this guy? He’s accusing me of bribery?! I’m appalled!
His mouth is hanging open now, feigning shock.
“Whatever…as long as there are no guards it’s cool,” I said.
What I didn’t tell them of course is that the higher a rat population is, the less likely a lot of other dwarves and people go there. So having the cats pick the next spot is actually a bonus to all of us.
I can’t help but giggle. The dwarves have been trying to catch me for about 11 years since I came to this city.
I’m enjoying my tea when the butlers signal to me.
Cat #57 (Butler cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Miss Lottie, #02 is requesting an audience!
He clapped his hands as if this was a super big deal.
Cat #36 (Elite Guard cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Oh wow, the old one is with us today! What a great honor!
The old one is one of the oldest cats I’ve ever had. He’s very cunning and even wears special glasses because he’s going blind. He’s a full white tabby, also which uses a cane and has a little rich looking shiny red overcoat with sleeves just like a real court advisor’s special fancy jacket. He moves a bit slow though and sometimes bumps into stuff like walls because of his bad eyes but he’s always been reliable. He does run into walls a lot moving around though.
Already we can hear his little cane tapping as he’s crossing the floor to us.
Cat #02 (Advisor cat) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; Miss Lottie! What a great day to see you! I apologize for sleeping so long. Mewwooo! I think I slept two days this time, I should be punished.
“OH that’s quite all right Jeeves. I expected that. You are semi-retired after all,” I said sipping more tea.
“Cat #02 (Advisor cat) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; oh thank you for your understanding Miss Lottie! May you live forever! And may you always bless us cats!
“Oh you are so sweet Jeeves,” I said.
I overheard the two elite guards in the back though; EG#1 is whispering over the back of his paw to EG#2…
Cat #36 (Elite Guard cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; He’s laying it on a bit thick isn’t he? Something is definitely up.
Cat #37 (Elite Guard cat #2) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; sigh…more bad news this time?
Cat #36 (Elite Guard cat #1) in cat speak; meowwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Translation; only he can tell the boss without her blowing up…
“Um, shut up you two,” I said.
Both of them end up apologizing profusely for several minutes while my whole current present court are staring at them. It’s pretty intimidating to have nearly 30 cats staring at you while you have to grovel, but this will help them learn their lesson.
“Um…Miss Lottie? Can we proceed?” Jeeves asked. (Advisor cat).
“Oh sure. Go ahead,” I said.
“Well…um….I’m not sure you are going to like what I’m about to tell you. So please don’t be mad at the messenger?” Jeeves said.
“Right…” I sighed.
“No shooting me, or kicking me across the room when you get mad. And you can’t make me eat dog poo like you did last time I gave you bad news,” Jeeves pleaded.
The other cats looked appalled.
“Surely Miss Lottie would never make us…”
“Are you sure about that…”
“Dog poo eating…the worst punishment ever! So scandalous! Wonder what he did….” Another cat was heard whispering.
“Quiet!” I said.
Instantly they are quiet.
Jeeves’ paws are trembling, but some of that is from old age.
“So I’ll…uh….read the letter…” he looks fearful and keeps glancing back and forth between me and the letter.
Butler cat #2 stepped up. “I can help! Would you like me to read the letter instead!”
“Oh thank you!” Jeeves said, hurriedly backing away and hiding behind a couch.
He said it to be helpful but Butler cat #1 is slapping his forehead in frustration. “Idiot… you don’t know what you are saying!”
Butler #2 cat is puzzled by others looking so fearful. “Well…let me just clear my throat…”
He pulls open the parchment and wax seal of the letter that Jeeves had given him and begins to read.
I’m so happy to write to you! You have been so wonderful to me! Thank you for all that you’ve done.”
“About time that little ingrate showed some respect. It’s unlike her to be this nice though. Something is up,” I said, accidentally interrupting. After a few minutes of my ungrateful children speech the other cats and I calmed down.
“May I continue your lordship?” Butler #2 asked.
“That’s ladyship in this case,” squeaked Jeeves from behind the couch.
“Please go ahead,” I said.
“Mother you can’t believe how happy I am. I finally found the one. The man of my dreams! I love him so much. I can’t explain why. I found him out while buying a summon tar spell one day. Then it hit me. This is the man I’m going to marry. He’s so beautiful. And I love him so much. If only I can ask him out on a date. I plan to ask him to marry me soon. I just have to go on our first date you know…but you will be so pleased that I picked well mother. This guy is so dreamy and swell mother. You’ll be pleased….” Butler cat #2 is reading while cold sweat is breaking out among all the other cats as they see my temperature boiling in anger….
“That little bitch! She found a man without my permission?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I was going to set her up with the most benefit to me too, little traitor bitch. How dare she?!”
Instantly the cats all scatter.
Butler cat #2 in his zeal to be helpful never saw the death strike coming until it was too late.
Butler cat #1 POV
Oh Freak nhya!
Miss Lottie’s gone crazy. And her daughter too, nhya…
I never saw that coming. Miss Lottie’s daughter is wonderful and pure hearted and nothing like the other witches. But we never thought she’d start dating. And what the fuck was that idiot thinking?! Reading a letter like that without censorship means some of us will probably die while Lottie’s blood pressure goes down, nhya. Until now we didn’t even think she liked boys.
I swear Lottie’s daughter was a lesbian wasn’t she?!
How did this happen?!
Shit. I can’t run fast enough.
Behind me I can hear Miss Lottie expressing her anger on all the other cats while we run in pure terror. Some of us even peed on the carpet in our fear, which is a free trip to the neutering block too.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
This is so bad!
Miss Lottie’s daughter found a man?! Witches are supposed to get permission aren’t they before they do that? They have an unusual system from not having enough males, so they have to use human male proxies.
What went wrong…?
But it’s so hard to remember what being a human was like. I can’t even remember what dating was like either or how it worked other than I know its how males and females courted in humanoid species’.
I’m sure Miss Lottie will calm down. I just have to dodge her rage for a couple of days…nhya…
Luckily Miss Lottie is a bit of a hoarder so there’s a lot of furniture to hide behind and nearly infinite numbers of rooms in her house because she’s good at making dimensional pockets with her magic.
“FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNND THEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!” I heard Miss Lottie scream at her guards.
“At least I’m happy to be leaving this screwed up dark dwarf city. Jeez, its so screwy the way these dark dwarves try to pass themselves off as light dwarves…” I heard Miss Lottie say as she’s storming away.
Oh that explains a lot…I didn’t realize they were all dark dwarves though…