I, Kobold: A crafting litrpg monster story

I, Kobold: A crafting litrpg monster story

by Brian Murphy

A Sailor, after getting tossed from his ship in a storm, finds himself waking up in a world of swords, sorcery, monsters, and adventure.

This could have been exciting, except that, instead of being a mighty-thewed Barbarian, Powerful Wizard, or wood-wise elf, He found himself in the body of a monster.

Not just any monster, but the weakest, most cowardly, and well-known newbie-target, a kobold. Not only is he stuck as the lowest of the low, but he may also need to save two worlds, his new one and the one he came from!

Disclaimer: This book contains a character with moral conviction, some strong (If potentially misguided) ethics, and well-defined relationships. Not everyone else follows his example, however.

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Author
Brian Murphy

Brian Murphy

Master of none

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jesus perez
Overall

It's written well and I liked the premise until it became some vr game and he became some guys combat pet. Ruined the entire experience for me. The first few chapters actually had me looking forward to him exploring and interacting with other kobolds in a tribal esk setting. Disappointing

DoomedButDreaming
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This is a good story, the author has talent and has obviously made long-term plans and commitments before so the story has some direction behind it.

If you are looking to relax and enjoy something this story is for you, however, the author needs to work a bit on their style and story. Their writing style is unbalanced, many important events are glossed over while unimportant ones are brought into greater detail, which I admit may be a conscious choice if the author is trying for a classic RPG player story:

The MC's expulsion from the city was very brief and without much explanation, but the creation of items brought into heavy focus.

The reveal of a mind-seizing and reality-bending antagonist commanding an ultimatum of torture and ending in his soul's destruction was a blip in the story, so much so that the MC tripped up within a couple of chapters and had to be plot armored to get out of it.

There are more examples, and none of them should deter anyone from reading this story, but they need to be fixed or worked on by the author if they want their setting to have depth. I would suggest working on the rationale and logic of the side characters a bit more to lend them more gravity; the professor went from a "possibly unhinged sympathetic professional researcher" to driving off the MC in a couple of paragraphs with no real explanation, which begs a few questions like, "Why did the professor just accept the failure of his experiment?"

"Shouldn't an academic at least try to sus out where he went wrong?"

"Did he have to drive out the MC because his experiment failed, and his maligned profession is imperiled by his peers?"

"What kind of world is comfortable with a profession that snatched a soul from another world, placed it into a sub-sentient sacrifice's body for ethical reasons, and then within the same day effectively exiles the body snatcher in a city full of people."

If the author isn't going for a story fashioned after a classic RPG stream of consciousness where parts are glossed over to advance the playing session, which would be nifty I'm not going to lie, then here is some constructive criticism:

All of these questions could have been avoided with some more investment into the side character, and a more even narrative flow. The MC could have discovered that the side character did in fact have nefarious intentions, and escaped afterward. Or the side character could have been found to be benign, but the MC slipped away rather than take the chance. Both of which would result in the same plot, but would have fleshed out both the world, side character, and MC.

Contextualizing the world by making it seem lived in by people with just as messy and trivial lives as reality, the side character would have been given personality and motivation as meaningful traits (even if the side character is in one scene, don't be afraid to give the reader insights into their lives), and the MC could have exercised their stoic mindset proactively rather than reactively demonstrating his character through action and choice.

Sparks2020
Overall

Solid story, looking forward to its progress!

Reviewed at: Chapter 10: Pride goeth before the fall

This is a solid story done by an author that's playing the long game. Despite the action taking its time to develop, I can already tell there's a good foundation for the chapters I've yet to read.

1. To the author: First and foremost, thank you for your service.

2. I have a soft spot for stories that try and take things from a non-human perspective, as well as from one that's significantly weaker than most humans.

3. There's a chapter where the MC has to make some painful compromises in order to better his chance at getting stronger and perhaps even a chance of becoming human in the future.

It's uncomfortable, as it's meant to be, because we sympathize with the MC and recognize how we might have to compromise if we were put in the same situation. Extra kudos to the author for having the guts to leave it as-is.

4. Not sure about the VR twist that comes several chapters in, but even that has some interesting possibilties. While the person in question might not be a reliable source of info, in 2079 it sounds like the U.S. split up (ie, Balkanized) and things are quite different than today.

5. Finally, extra points for the clever use of language and references: the goddess of memory in his mind, the 'time flies' spell that brings him to a VR world where time passes faster than in the real world, the Back to the Future reference in Chapter 1, and more.

Highly recommended you give this story a shot.

MagykMan
Overall

The story seems a bit slow so far, but the plot that has occured has been pretty interesting. There seems to be some buildup for an overarching kill the big bad story and it the little reveals toward that over new chapters really makes me invested. Overall, really looking forward to new chapters. 

Yohao
Overall

A bit confusing but a nice read

Reviewed at: Chapter 19: Bring me to Life

It takes some time to get used to the writing style and things can get a bit confusing at the start but the story is pretty fun and has gone through a lot in these few chapters. I feel that the author had some trouble with the introductory part, a bit too telling instead of showing, a lot of explanations and a lot of monologuing but I think we got past that and the story can now get a better rhythm and show more of what the mc does and what happens to him. Also I learned a lot of words while reading and that's kind of fun.

Anyway, great story that I'm really looking up to what happens next ! Thanks for writing !

Crackferret
Overall

Overall a very entartaining story so far. It has a few twists I didn't se coming and the LitRPG approch is innovative and fun.

i would say that the initail few chapters needs a bit of polish on the descriptive side of the system and what is going on, but it quickly gets much better. I would recommend this to anyone who likes good worldbuilding and interesting min charators.

Mr Alex666
Overall

An interesting take on the LitRPG-genre, fun to read.

I do like the distintction between the Main Character and all the natives, and how they do things differently, without the MC getting OP in the first 16 chapters, right off the bat. The potential is there for either the MC getting frelled over or getting overpowered, at this stage I could get behind both concepts (please don't do OP MC, and hand out stuff for free. (Got the drift ;) )

Can't wait how the story continues.

Defender of Nature
Overall

It's a nice story so far and I really am curious about how this story progresses more into the chapters. It really is a nice story with a good environment though I did get confused on some parts that's just me reading ahead a lot. Also, it's nice to see a kobold being a protagonist used for once, usually for mob characters it's human, orc, or skeleton, never a mob like kobold which I really like. Hope to see more.

CrazyAbe
Overall

An... inconsistent story that's not for everyone

Reviewed at: Chapter 17: You spin me right round, baby.

I made it... 17 chapters into this story before I gave up, it picks up new plot points like an RPG hero picks up items they'll never use, and it glosses over or skips massive sections that would actually explain whats going on. at some points it feels like the author wrote several chapters... and then cut them out entirely- just as an example, the third chapter starts with the main character basically tossed out of where they 'arrived' with no real explaination given as to why they ran off so far. I can't complain about spelling or grammer, but I think thats because the comments section went through the chapters I'm reading long before I got here.

TLDR its an inconsistant novel with an inconsistant plot that goes from reincarnation to VR game in a handful of chapters, not recommended for people who read for the plot, if you don't care about plot than read ahead at your own risk.

Gasmaskbro
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

tldr: A good story with a good idea bogged down by excessive exposition.

This story is one that leaves me feeling conflicted both as I read it and as I write this review. It's a genuinely good story that kept me turning pages after page as I burned through it, but the way it's structured, the absolute walls of exposition upon walls of exposition makes it hard for me to give it a true recommend. This is not helped by the fact the author has decided to mix isekai, VRMMO, crafting, and Chinese meditation stories together into an interesting, yet still cumbersome conglomerate.

 

The story itself is a good classic idea, someone ends up in another world in an alien body and has to survive and discovers a looming threat to both worlds. We've seen it, we love it, it's a good story. It could be done a bit better, in my oppinion, the big bad could be forshadowed a bit better and given more time in the background before personally stepping out from behind the curtain to threat the MC, but no major flaws in the story itself.

 

The major thing holding the story back though is that thanks to the complex mishmash system the author has made nearly half the story is exposition. There are entire chapters dedicated purely to raw exposition that makes the early chapters before the story really starts moving a particularly rocky path to advance through. While the exposition and mechanics talk does drop off a little as it goes on, you should be ready to impact the occassional wall of exposition and system talk on occassion. It's a real shame because it does seem like an interesting system, but with so much info dump all at once it's real easy to start going glassy eyed and skipping entire paragraphs.

Grammar seems to be another stumbling block for the author, while most of his older chapters are largely cleaned up, looking at the comments shows vast fields of corrections. Even now you will still find several instances of missed capitalizations, repeats, and incorrect words smattered throughout. This author would stand to gain a lot by either investing in an editor/pre-reader or re-reading his chapter roughs aloud. He does seem to be getting better and fixing the mistakes eventually but I'd recommend giving the chapters a day or two to settle if mistakes like these are an issue for you.

The characters themselves are a mixed bag, the MC himself has more character than a lot of self insert isekai MCs, but he's still a bit on the bland side of things. More than a few of the characters fall on the bland or shallow side as well, but there's a couple characters that I do enjoy. The characters I like I like a lot, but the MC spends so much time in his own head that I feel like we don't get enough of them.

I really do think there is a great story here, and I see bits and pieces of the emmaculant gem of possibility sticking out in places under the thick slag of exoposition. The writer has notably improved as the story has gone on so if you can push through the early jank there's a fun story to be had here. But at the same time I struggle to recommend because of that same jank and overcomplicated system.