Immortal Soul

Immortal Soul

by Mike777ac

Michael has been around a long time, a very long time. He has been reincarnated more times than he can possibly remember, and picked up a few tricks along the way. Intimately knowing Heaven, Hell, and pretty much everything in between, he was born into a fantasy world. Will he have a long happy life, or a disappointingly short and painful one? Either way, at least it should be entertaining.

[Warning: Contains graphic violence, nudity, mature content, some sexual content (In the later volumes), and relatively dark or crude humor!]

[Disclaimer: This is a fairly long story, and covers many controversial topics. It is almost entirely written in first person past perspective, and from multiple point of views. There are several """"Main"""" characters, and each of them is significant to the plot.]

Related fiction => """"Questing"""" Link => https://mike777ac.wordpress.com/questing/
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Mike777ac

Mike777ac

Immortal Soul

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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peach
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This story started out so good. I really wanted to like it, but as the story progressed, it became harder and harder to understand what was going on. The transitions in plot was not clearly defined, therefore it seemed like it was jumping all over the place with major plot devices that seems to pop out of nowhere. It was hard to believe that Michael could win over the Black Mithril residents over just a speech – this scene felt very incomplete to me. It was also surprising to me when he called a serious meeting with his close group of friends, only to suddenly run into the endless labyrinth in the middle of it and became a new person. The mood of the story just abruptly changes. I tried, but I stopped reading after I finished Act 2.

Evrin
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Fun story with engaging characters.

If I had a complaint, it would be that  it's hard to get too attached to any of the secondary characters, as anyone but the main character is brought into the limelight, only to be left behind once new friends are found.

The memory glitch bit didn't help matters either, and I'm not saying that it makes it a weak story, it just leaves me wondering when the current secondaries are going to be replaced.

 

Maltyplur
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

All in all the grammar is good but there are various elements that keep coming back and somewhat hindering the experience.

The main character is pretty good but most of the side characters seem to suffer because of it. They tend to be bland or over-the-top neither of which is a good thing for me while the occasional good side character is put into some unpleasant to read situations (i.e. ethir and Rae).

This is a good read to kill time but I wouldn't write home about it.

That being said I know how hard it is to write so keep it up and one day the characters will shine.