The Undying Emperor [Grand Conquest Fantasy]

Strong prose so far, really exciting start.
Krake's got a great command of the setting and that shines in his ability to weave the narrative into the fabric of this world.Not only his setting, but he's also got a fine estimaion of what life in these sort of circumstances was really like.

What can I say, the prose and imagery drew me in at from the first moment. Expect something in the style of more classical fantasy here, of a character that really needs to rely on their techniques and wits rather than brute force. 

When you come to read The Undying Emperor, you need to understand that the story is just that: about a guy ascending to become emperor. There is some magic here of course, but don't expect massive god killing explosions every three fight scenes or for the character to engage in spur of the moment dungeon crawls, this is a very purposeful story with a very specific direction it is developing toward.

Style: The opening gave me a mix of old Conan novel vibes along with some First Law moments. This is a harsh world, thought not absurdly miserable. Life is hard and people are jocking for power. The expansion of the worldbuilding is done gradually and skillfully--by this I mean the exposition is not served to you raw. Enjoy it. Watch the narrative, character, and setting components walk step by step next to each other.

Just go in a look at the first lines written. It's good.

Grammar: The author does good work at keeping their words clean and prose sharp. Minimal mistakes most times.

Story: I don't want to reveal too much of the story, but let's just say I quite like ascension to rule stories and that the orchestration of certain individuals towards this end is quite satisfying. 

Character: Lucius makes for an interesting protagonist especially with what they do with him through the 0-xxx arc before even Act 1 begins, but my eye is primarily on the Wizard. That old craft git is up to something and every move he makes and step they makes me wonder what they're going to try to pull next.

Overall, read this. It is very well written and demonstrates a professional quality of work that is rarely seen. Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going to keep reading through this while music from the Hyborian Age plays.

This is a story of an (seemingly) undying man rising up in the world, leading armies, and getting stabbed a lot lol. 

It was a little confusing at first but I think it finds its foothold by chapter ten and from there really shines. My main points of confusion were aimed at the wizard as he narrarates the story (I liked this it reminds of the Bartimaeus trilogy) as it was sometimes difficult to decipher who was speaking.

Really nice writing style and the characters come to life. It doesn't feel like reading a book, which is important to me. No cheap tricks to make me care about stuff the author wants me to care about. Only downside on a personal basis is that the topic isn't my thing, but there's no doubt this guy can write.

I read it and was hooked. This is how Empire building should be written, but rarely is.

Story:

The world building is exceptional. The author brings the Vassamark Empire to life. 

It has properly thought out economics, politics, and a consistent magic system.

The politics are convoluted but logically consistent with a Rome-style Empire.

The empire and colony relationship makes perfect sense and aligns with our historical understanding of the Roman Empire.

The characters are well developed. You really feel for some of them.

The protagonists are no Mary Sues, which is good. The hero and his mentor are slightly OP, but from the flashbacks you can see that it's well earned. 

Grammar: there were no particular issues that I could note.

Style: the story flows well; the telling kept me hooked from the beginning to the end. 

The story is narrated by the mentor, but it switches to the protagonists POV frequently. This may be a bit off putting some readers although I personally found it quite smooth.

The plot twists were well thought out, but there are no major surprises.

Not much suspension of disbelief was required.

Overall, author has done an excellent job. 

Dear author: Great work. Stick with the story, take it where you want it to go, and when the inevitable half star trolls arrive ignore them.

The central conceit of the story is that everything - and I mean everything - has been masterminded by the wizard.  And given how convoluted the plan is, he must be able to predict the future, which begs the question, why the convoluted plan.

I do enjoy reading this story.  The first maybe three chapters I was trying to fully wrap my head around the different factions - the multiple factions, Aisha is her own faction - but once everyone's allegiance sort of became clear and all the proper names made sense and it became a very quick, satisfying read.

The best surprise, by far, was after chapter 23 when the map appeared.  I love it.  I remember thinking back during chapter 12 or 13 man I wish there was a map and then there it was.  For my work the one thing I always knew I needed to do was draw some maps, just 1 or 2 and you've inspired me.  As stupid as it may sound I love the way you shaded the mountains, there's elegence in that simplicity.  You should move the map's position to after chapter 10.

Also your first paragraph also needs to grab a bit more.  Yes, the chapter is named Vendetta, but you should make it crystal clear than Medorosa Canta has sworn a vendetta in the first line.  I don't know why the pupil is even mentioned in the first paragraph he doesn't need to be there, the focus should be the vendetta.

***

I guess spoilers below this point.

"Lucius".  Purely my opinion but whenever I read Lucius my mind inserted "Not" in front of it.  The guy's name isn't Lucius.  We don't know his name I don't think.  I mean he takes his place but presumably whenever he actually shows up where people know this Lucius guy someone is going to look at him and be like: you're not Lucius who the f are you?  I'm looking forward to that.  Or maybe he'll end up getting all "his" men killed while he's out doing who knows what and resume his old identity.  I'm looking forward to finding out what his objective really is.

After the events of chapter 22 I was surprised by the end of 28.  The guy doesn't have powers like Not Lucius so I dunno how he's back on his feet but whatevs.  I guess I'll see what happens.

This story is great. If you are used to reading stories on this platform you will be very impressed by the quality of both the editing and the story itself. The characters are well described, multifaceted and interesting. Knocking a point off for using the wizard as a framing device for the story I would have much prefered it to have been the pov of the main character with other minor povs when he isnt present. This is personal preference and does not really degrade the story in any meaningful

Interesting magic system. The main character in the first chapter or two assumes the identity of a nobleman as a part of an intricate plot. Up to the point of this review it has mostly followed main character establishing their identity as that nobleman. The magic system, stigmata, provides a convenient excuse as to why the main character looks slightly different from the real nobleman. The stigmata is a sort of tattoo that endows its bearer with some magic power normally bestowed upon sparking. Sparking being a common trope among superhero and mutant genres is sort of assumed. 

I can't reccommend the book enough. Give it about 4 or 5 chapters to see if it your cup of tea. 

Not too much has happened yet but set-ups seems promising. Author at least knows how to put more than a few death-flags up. Or... I am overthinking the words of people and all of them are going to live forever after. I really hope not.

Anyway.

Grammar was fine. Personalities actually made sense in this one. Style? Was patchy at a few points but overall fine. 4.5/5

It's is published level good.Starts off slow and a bit confusing but it ties up nicely with great a premise and flow.The magic system works great, keeps the mystery and unfolds without being overbearing.The main protagonist is cunning and ruthless and gets by with mostly his own strengths. The supporting cast is also nice especially on the supernatural side. Thanks for the good work.