At The Precipice [A Survival LitRPG]

The author states that Defiance of the Fall was an inspiration for his story, but the similarities are a bit too much at the start.  I decided to work past that and it does diverge into its own story.  Unfortunately, the story is just not for me.  The answer to everything is because plot.  Getting eaten, phase through it.  Unbeatable boss, here's a potion.  Another dire situation, phase through it. Later the way people are relocated and the trials they run into are not explained.  Everything that occurs is just because plot.

I am no longer following this after the MC faces his childhood nemesis and then just decides to overlook everything he is doing.  I don't get it.  He instantly forgets that the guy was going to kill him and his friends, along with stifling an entire city, because...

This may make ok YA fantasy, but there is just too little reason for most of what occurs.  That said, the author is continually rewriting this story.  The grammar and actual writing are good.  The setting is interesting if not original.  This may be a good story for others and I am sure it will improve over time.  

I could go a lot more in depth on this, but I'm tired. The writing isn't bad, but it all just feels wrong and fake. I couldn't immerse myself and certain things come off as completely random. 

Mc's state of being between life and death was deemed super important, that it gave him great potential. But in reality it's only used a few times. The system constantly fucks him over intentionally, sometimes small, sometimes big, but we're never given a reason or anything to make up for it. Mc gets decent Titles and boosts, but they are completely separate from his life/death situation and the boosts are given despite the system hating him, for unknown reason. 

All in all, if you don't relate to the MC and wanna see someone suffer, with all the realism of reality TV, this is it. 

A very harsh review, ik. Might come back and add actual advice for the author, idk. It's 3am and im tired. Only advice I have now is that you need to balance how the MC is treated. Like some of the comments said, if you're going to offer a Reward for something, actually follow through in giving it, instead of taking it away on a whim because it's funny (because it's not funny, just upsetting). Or at least give him something else in exchange. 

This is sugar, candy-floss, excess action with practically no plot, no character or character development. It starts off alright, I genuinely enjoyed the first arc of the story, it had some decently humerous moments and I was alright with the massive power-drops the MC was getting as it was early on and the setting made it abudently clear that humanity needed some serious power-ups. 

Unfortunatley, that trend never stopped. And as a result i've been steadily dropping my rating.

The arc's are consistently following the same pattern of 'look how OP the MC is! OH NO! LOOK AT THIS UBER MONSTER THAT EVEN THE MC HAS NO CHANCE OF DEFEATING!!!

Oh, wait, no. MC killed it. Again. Even though he's literally a brain and has no justified reason for still being alive. Cool story, bro. Wanna hear it another 5 times?"

Bitching aside, I am still keeping up with this. Honestly can't say why but sometimes you just want some totally ridiculous nonsense power-fantasy wish-fulfillment entertainment.. This... it's not even great on that front, but it's okay? I guess?

The chronic problem with this genre is the protagonist has no long-term goals aside from "survive" and "get stronger." This is by design, because these are goals that can never actually be accomplished: One can only bat away at an endless series of small-fry antagonists trying to ruin the MC's day, and thus the same story can go on forever. Inevitably, after 50 to 100 chapters or so, these stories always start to spin their wheels and turn into a slog. The story will have done everything interesting that it's going to do and the rest is just rinse and repeat. Maybe up the stakes by having the protagonist start over in another setting with stronger opponents once they outgrow their starting location.

But like with romance novels, if you like this kind of story, then you don't mind that it's just the same dozen tropes remixed into the same ad-lib template. Indeed, one is always hungry for fresh stories, to read those 50 chapters and experience that honeymoon phase before it hits the slump and loses its charm. Indeed, if all you want is to reread the start of Defiance of the Fall or Randidly Ghosthound, this will scratch that itch for you just fine. As that seems to be the author's intent, I can only say, "mission accomplished."

However, I also have to deduct a star, because I think that for a story to really stand out and be special in this genre, you need to accomplish more than that. The story needs a compelling mystery, a unique setting, a strongly characterized protagonist, and an atmosphere that drips off the page. Ideally, all of the above. This story... has none of them. This is not necessarily a problem but it does mean I'm unlikely to want to continue reading this once it hits the slump and, in all likelihood, neither are you.

UPDATE : -

I'm sorry, but i am just not enjoying this anymore. the initial start of the story hooked me good , but ever since the tutorial arc ended it has been so boring. I have found myself skipping some paragraphs and even then no important detail is lost. It's like the author is just pumping out useless filler and they are just so redundant. it doesn't have the original vibe of this story.

ORIGINAL REVIEW : -

Story : Amazing Style and Original Plot

Characters: They Act like real people , and that's good. The main character is both pragmatic and an imbecile , meaning  ... Human.

Worldbuilding : Fantastic 

Overall: I love this story. The author updates regularly and this story has crazy-good potential.  This story can reach Top 10 Of All-time on royal road , if it keeps going like this .

Not a pro in making reviews (or anything else), but this story deserves a push so I'll do my part.

First, you won't find any problem about grammar or anything, just some rare errors, which are swiftly corrected once you point them out.

The story uses a common trope to give Brock (the mc) an opportunity to get an edge on others, while also making things really hard and dangerous for him. Which is what (I think) most readers want.

The pacing is good, you won't be bored at all and reach the last posted chapter pretty fast (disclaimer : argument invalid from march of 2022 onwards).

You'll find some fine Australian humor, mostly based on danger pigeons and other things making Australia the survival mode of life.

I just don't recommend reading the story if you want some guy doing a perfect run at everything. Brock makes mistakes, the System makes mistakes.

Yes this story is funny and fun to read till you get to the second tyrant, Brock runs away like a little bitch even when given his arguably only chance at taking on the tyrant. Then the dojo's little bitch takes a friend of his hostage and all the sudden the dying tyrant doesn't matter, this sucks.

Ah, Magpies, truly the most dangerous of all Australian creatures. No joke, forget drop bears, the magpies are the ultimate boss monster in the SS class dungeon known as Australia. The only problem I have with this story is in chapter 2, when the system says there is only harmless wildlife detected… Screw you system, you’ve got no clue!

  Style-

The story is moving at a good pace, and so far doesn’t drag things down with info dumps. The only thing I’d say that throws me off style wise is the use of multiple full stops in dialog, but that’s a personal pet peeve. The world building is well done, and I very much enjoy the authors amusing and descriptive writing style.

   Grammar-

A few minor grammar issues, and sentence structuring that seems odd, but nothing that takes away from the story. 

Characters -

Brock is a well fleshed out character, and even with the story still in it’s early stages, it’s easy to like him and feel invested in his story. 

Story-

As we are still very early in the story, many things are yet to be revealed, but the author does a great job of building up towards the greater story arc. It is clearly a well thought out system, and has much to offer in the future. I look forward to seeing Brocks journey continue. 

UPDATE

The story indeed had everything needed for a great story but the last arc have been... disappointing. The mc just decided that it's his divine duty to save anyone and when he can't it's a great personal failure, I really liked the normal guy vibe he had going on in the first and second arcs, but after he left the city his brother lives it's like he devolve to a stupid child that does whatever he wants and without actual consequences for that. I will try to continue but as things are going MC will fund his own religion by chapter 100 and declare himself the new Jesus or something like that.

ORIGINAL REVIEW

This story has everything needed for a great story, it can make you laugh, cry, question your life choices, be absolutely afraid of Australia, be absolute afraid/hateful of magpies. It has amazing fights, amazing character development, the most cryptic opening quotes that we are not even sure what it's talking about and the absolute most hateful system(I'm absolutely sure that if the system from this novel saw the mc on fire and it had a bucket of water it would kick him on the balls and use the water to refresh itself while watching him burn). 

The system can sometimes go a bit too far into pettiness and being an absolute asshole but we readers still don't really know what's up with the system and why it acts like that sometimes so for me(even if in one specific occasion it was really really REALLY frustrating and disappointing) it's just one of the storie's quirks and Quan already said that he's toning down the pettiness a bit so it's all fine and everything will be okay somehow someday. Another weak point is the low number of side characters, what is understandable with the plot and more characters were already introduced in the late chapters so I think that will soon not be a problem at all.

Anyway thank you for writing and for being so attentive to ours comments and critics and random ramblings in the comments, Quan ! Hope you have a really nice year and keep up writing ! 

Also, last but not least I would really like to have that damn bird being trialed for murder !!! If Australia has gone to war against Emus why not taking that damn magpie to trial ? So that's it thanks for reading my random ramblings after the actual review lol !

Brock has found himself under the control of the System, a strange entity that seems to be keeping him 'At the Precipice' between life and death, some sort of terrible limbo. Very strong opening chapter that keeps you gripped.

Style: Imagery is king in this fiction. Get ready for lush descriptions that are easy to read and to picture, as well as strong action sequences.

Grammar: Far as I could tell, there were no grammatical mistakes. Clearly, attention to detail has been paid.

Story: I still want to know more about how the System works, but I would really enjoy it if we meet other people in Brock's situation - which the author could very well have planned. It was due to this that I found myself more gripped and connected with the first chapter, which is an absolute home run in my opinion as far as beginnings go, than with the latest chapters, which deal more with Brock securing his life through taking action and establishing new world mechanics. However, this aspect being a slight negative is probably due to my own tastes. Regardless, the story is compelling, entertaining, and does a great job getting you to ask questions and engage with the world.

If you want a story with lots of action, adventure and intrigue, look no further.