Eldritch Cultist

Eldritch Cultist

by Dawodd

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

My story begins when my dead grandfather shows up at my front door. He introduces me to a crazy hidden world, insane rituals, and gods of madness. Within our blood contains the ancient ancestry of one of these gods, and it has ordained that I be sent to another version of Earth to be the first to spread its influence there. The dark knowledge I receive in return is as awesome as it is taboo. But, this power comes with consequences, ones that lead to the people of this power not taking as kindly to me as I would have hoped.

(Rewrite) 

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Dawodd

Dawodd

The Bird

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Snellod - Goddess of Snails
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Fun, imaginative and an overall good read

Reviewed at: The Summoning

Grammar - Minor things out of the way first, I noticed a couple spelling and grammar mistakes here and there but they were never major and never really distracted, or took me out of the story. And hey, they may even be fixed by the time your reading this review. 

Character - Also minor, but to be honest I found the main character pretty generic. However, I wouldn't argue that he was badly written because I feel I understood him, understood his motives, interactions, et cetera, et cetera and he's definitly not hateable. Really didn't like his grandfather much, I never really got a handle on who he is, nor did he feel like he had much depth to him. The other side characters I've found pretty neat so far.

Story - And here's where eldritch cultist shines, at least in my opinion. I never felt scared, unnerved or anything to the like when reading, and the fear of the unkown was pretty quickly gone because a lot is explained to us very early on. For example

in the first arc we learn that our main character is related to an eldritch god, who that god is, what his goals are and we might have even had a nice chat with him if it does turn out that the grandfathers theory is correct. Sure, Muo’pikaq, the god in question does still have a variety of mysteries attached to him, but I feel like a get him a lot more than I get Yog Sothoth (probably (I haven't actually read much actual lovecraft despite my love of all things eldritch (I have watched the colour our of space movie though))) and he feels even somewhat human unlike many eldritch beings who are supposed to feel alien.

However, despite not feeling much fear, thats not to say I felt nothing when reading. Instead of perhaps cosmic horror, I felt this was...cosmic wonder. The world felt imaginative and got me pretty immersed and I felt awe at the multiverse presented to us. While I'm sure for many who expected spoops and scares this would be a turn off, but to me with a sense of cosmic wonder at the real universe, and an attachment to other stories, similarly cosmic and Lovecraft inspired that didn't go all in with the crushing fear of a cosmos that doesn't care for you, this was a major reason why I liked this story so much. Plus, if you're down for a fun time, instead of a scared time, you're in luck. The story is fun, occasionally funny and its fast moving pace means you'll never be bored. Also, I intended to go to sleep like, 40 minutes ago but while reading this I completely lost track of time and only noticed how late it was once I got to the end, and can there be any higher praise for a story than that?

 Style - I felt there was something occasionally off about the writing style, in a way that I can't seem to articulate, which is a shame because I think it'd really improve the early chapters if it was fixed. Maybe it was a lack of descriptiveness? Maybe it wasn't? Whatever it was, the general bad vibes seemed to disapear as I went on, so no real harm to my reading expierance done. Maybe there was never a problem to begin with and I'm just mad. God (I mean Muo’pikaq (praise Muo’pikaq)) wouldn't that be on brand. I read a book (or I guess web fiction) containing eldritch knowledge, go mad and start seeing problems that aren't there. What could be more eldritch?

doravg
Overall

Eldrich Cultist is there for the long haul. It starts slow and slowly picks up and immerses you into the world of the Dreamworld. What is the most amazing part is that it is a one-trip kind of thing.
Well, not quite, Edward's grandfather managed to get out of the Dream. So far, there are snippets of worldbuilding that don't feel too heavy. The chapters are on the longer side but that is not that much of a problem. 

beast_regards
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Grammar - Almighty spellchecker, grant me grammar beyond grammar. As English is not my first language, so all stories I review shall receive 5-stars in Grammar by default.

Style - I usually start my review talking about style, but this time I'll make an exception because it is closely tied with the most obvious issue I see with this story. Technically, there is nothing wrong with the style this story is written, it isn't any better or worse than other stories I've rated 5-stars to this point. A first paragraph pretending to be a journal entry only to jump to conventional storytelling afterward is weird, but not a reason to detract any ratting here. I have more pressing concerns here...

Story - I feel this story is heavily lacking in the atmosphere necessary to make the Cosmic Horror genre work. It doesn't feel mysterious, it doesn't feel terrifying, it doesn't feel hopeless, or dangerous. If I didn't read the tags before I would think this story is actually a parody. I almost had to laugh when the protagonist met the Gate Guardian, and how casual the experience was, with him, and with all the creatures from the Dream afterward. Part in another world, and meeting with the Witch, wasn't any better either. A good portion of the story actually felt quite funny. I am certain it wasn't supposed to be funny...

Character - Characters aren't any better than either. They are all almost too casual about all of this, including the protagonist himself. I am not sure how I should even describe his personality, I would say "cool dude" but ... really? In a Cosmic Horror story? Since the Guardian, all interaction starts to feel more and more awkward and embarrassing, and I couldn't take characters, or events seriously anymore. 

I tried, but I can't give this story 5-stars, especially not if it is actually supposed to be serious. If someone told me it is a stealth parody, I would believe him though.