Astartes in a fantasy world

Astartes in a fantasy world

by Tigerwarrior

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

The year 2343, Fred, a genetically engineered, special forces war veteran, is currently aboard the HMSS Mayflower, an experimental spaceship with mankind's first FTL warp drive. During its first test drive, the technicians aboard were giving last-minute checks to the ship before evacuation as it would be going on a preprogrammed flight. our MC, head technician of the ship would have been the last to leave the ship, however, the ship's test was executed and he ended up alone for the jump. Only it was heading for a black hole.

 ***

Author notes.

this is my first work, this world takes liberty with another fiction universe but with modifications, I hope, in doing so allows more storytelling and fewer infodumps

don't come here based on sexual content, profanity, Gore, or Transmatising content.

I hope to design this story not to milk those tags but to allow access to such scenes should they fit in naturally. 

participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge

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Tigerwarrior

Tigerwarrior

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Cyoa11aa
Overall

Title is slightly misleading but give it a shot?

Reviewed at: 20- school tornament

When I first clicked on this book I expected a Space Marine to start ripping orcs apart. Was very surprised to find out that its a reincarnation story, not sure if its a good or bad surprise but it was intresting to read. The first chapters after the introduction feel like they're 95% blue screens so if you love that great! If not maybe skip around a bit? There are some errors and what not but the english is good, sometimes the sentences can feel a bit clunky but thats fine. Its kinda hard to belive the MC is doing so much as a child, which is weird because ive read plenty of stories where you have smart and op kids but in here it feels weird? Probably because hes still so young still. I dont want to hurt a story by giving it below a 4 so I wont but if i were to actully grade it it would be a 3.5? If the author ever writes to chapter 40 or so ill be happy to take another look.

blacknmild611
Overall

Good start, excellent lore, world building!

Reviewed at: 35- you're late, I got shit to do

I enjoy this and really appreciate the time taken. I hhope that continues in later chapters and clearly you have put alot of forethought into this that I really enjoy. 

Keep up the good work. I can barely get to 50 words.  It shows that you can have a edited work put out very quickly which is in its own way a huge plus! I am glad I have added this to my follow list. 

NastySquire
Overall

This story falls into the trap of making the world and everyone in it really dumb so that the MC can seem smarter by comparison. The writing isn't bad but the sheer low-level knowledge and ignorance of this world are completely unrealistic. Also, the reactions to what the MC does are unrealistic as well.

HOWEVER... I'm still reading this despite the flaws so something about this is keeping me here. Give it a try and decide for yourselves.

Gbmkihgv
Overall

First of all, I would like to say that this review may be a little to based on emotion. I just really like the story. It has interesting family drama, MC doesn't get OP immediately but gets traits that will make him stronger in the long run and it has rapid tech advancement thanks to MC though it is (for me) within believable limits. I also like the fast pacing of the story and that it doesn't spend much time on small details that aren't necessary (how they build a castle, or how the MC improved agriculture with modern tech). As someone who read many medieval reincarnation stories, and heard these details many times it is quite a big positive. All in all, this story is a great example of kingdom building, fantasy and reincarnation merging. There is also a little Warhammer 40k. I think there is much potential for the future in this piece.

temofonte
Overall

Ok for all the 40k fans out here..its not exactly what your thinking right now. More so someone who has the God emperors knowledge to make similar things and the system basic is what makes it more 40k like otherwise it would be more a brain leech instead of a gene seed. Still it's a good read, would recommend it. The author does at least research on topics they choose to talk about. He is still a child though..but at some point and fingers crossed he will grow up enough to make a bolter. Even if he doesn't the magic system has some fun limitations. Which is quite nice. The writing is pretty good, and very few errors the story is engaging, entertaining, and more on the lighter side of things honestly would highly recommend it's a enjoyable story and read. Oh right..forgot to mention the world building is pretty nice also

Lupo
Overall

Awesome story so far, slower start, great character development, excellent world building. Minor if annoying grammer mistakes occasionally or typos. The story explains everything in a very natural and methodical way doesn't tend to over explain things unless it directly relates to story progression, and everything makes sense. Charictor is smart and intelligent without being snobby, wimpy, or acting overly superior to everyone else like some stories do. Side characters like family and friends actually have history and feel real. The story line progress thuss far has been Over all a gem of a novel.