Deathworld Commando: Reborn

Deathworld Commando: Reborn

by RangerFrank

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

What happens when humanity's greatest weapon gets a second chance at life? Commander Kronos wasn't even considered to be a human but rather a weapon to be used for the greater good of his species. He was grown in a tube to be the perfect weapon so he lacked many emotions/experiences most people take for granted. Upon experiencing some emotions for the first time he was quickly eliminated by humanity and was reborn into a world of swords and sorcery, getting a second lease on life.

Of course, he didn't see it that way at the start and thought he was being fooled. It took a near-death experience and a lot of growing up but he finally decided to keep his promise to his former comrades and give his new life an honest try.

Embark on the story of the former Commander of Hades Squad as he settles into his new life as the Dark Elf Kaladin Shadowheart.

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Top 2500 Story 

Top 20 Rising Star Fiction November and December 2021

Royal Writathon October 2021 Winner

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Hello and welcome to my story, this is my first attempt at a fiction so feel free to leave suggestions/comments if you see anything. Thanks for clicking on my story and I hope you give it a try.

I post every Monday and Thursday mornings PST.

Join the Discord- https://discord.com/invite/YGSUeuTTwH

You can also find me on Reddit at the HFY subreddit. 

Artwork done by blacklaplz on Fiverr.

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Author
RangerFrank

RangerFrank

Achievements
150 Comments
Royal Writathon October 2021 winner
50,000 Views
Word Count (11)
Top List #2500
400 Followers
Fledgling Reviewer (I)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue.1 ago
Prologue. 2 ago
Prologue.3 ago
Prologue. 4 ago
Ch. 1- Unfamiliar Faces in Unfamiliar Places. ago
Ch.2- Magic Really is Dangerous. ago
Ch.3- Lessons to Be Learned ago
Ch.4- Family and a Promise. ago
Ch.5- Reconciliation. ago
Ch.6- An Arctic Fox in the Jungle ago
Ch.7- A New Friend. ago
Ch.8- First Day of School. ago
Ch.9- The Future Runesmith. ago
Ch.10- Magic Sparring. ago
Ch.11- A Friend in Need? ago
Ch.12- A Promise Kept and a Promise Made. ago
Ch.13- Father and Son Bonding ago
Ch.14- Good Things Come in Pairs ago
Ch. 15- Coming Down With the Sickness ago
Ch.16- Lingering Hopes ago
Ch.17- Hunting Trip ago
Ch.18- Mother Knows Best. ago
Ch.19- Digging Up the Dead ago
Ch.20- Epilogue ago
Vol.1 Side Story- Book of Alanis ago
Vol.2 Ch. 21- Worst Case Scenario ago
Vol.2 Ch.22- Now or Never. ago
Vol.2 Ch.23- A Helping Hand. ago
Vol.2 Ch.24- The Plan. ago
Vol.2 Ch.25- Dwarf Meets Dark Elf. ago
Vol.2- Ch.26- Breaking Bread. ago
Vol.2 Ch.27- Departure and a Promise. ago
Vol.2 Ch.28- An Unlikely Encounter. ago
Vol.2 Ch.29- The Prison and the Panther. ago
Vol.2 Ch.30- Princess of the Prison. ago
Vol.2 Ch.31- The Witches of the Prison. ago
Vol.2 Ch.32- The Tunnel of Broken Dreams and the Warden's Seal of Approval. ago
Vol.2 Ch.33- Market Day. ago
Vol.2 Ch.34- The War God and the Prince. ago

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Reviews
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MarkM
Overall

Well written, taking a grimdark turn though

Reviewed at: Vol.2 Ch.24- The Plan.

I really enjoyed this book right until it took a decidedly grimdark turn in Volume 1, Chapter 19.  As of Chapter 24, our MC is in a dark place and much of the growth and joy in the prior chapters has been undone.  I didn't see this variation of the refrigerator treatment coming and am not at all happy that the author is going in this direction.  I remain hopeful for a better resolution and will wait some time to see if one happens.

some total kretin
Overall

R FOR RULE OF COOL (FOR TEENAGERS)

Reviewed at: Prologue. 2

TL;DR: Rule of cool overriding every other perceived notion or thought on how a person might react in a situation to give the illusion of a cheap action flick - so far. It's like reading a generic Shonen anime combined with a generic supersoldier b movie. Wait - that might be what it actually is. If only it was less mindless.

To qualify: It is not bad, but the effort that went into making everything seem cool and hot might have been better spent thinking about how a professional might react combined with how a normal human might feel.

I'd expect career specialist recon soldiers to know about what to watch out for and how to react, and having a relaxed banter just after loosing an arm in the middle of unknown enemy territory with possible enemy reinforcements on the way to casually interrogate a wounded for information without even checking for more enemies - or reporting to your colleagues that this just happened - just screams of bad action movies and pandering to rule of cool.

Or at least I would expect people to report to others to let them know and be on a lookout for another ambush.

And having a "hi I am suchandsuch, 25 years old and the guy who designed the AI you're using and am also the expendable frontline soldier supporting character" introduction ended by "please take care of me" is something straight out of a bad anime.

 

Tremuist
Overall

I tend to go and read novels and stuff before going to sleep. I ussually go to sleep around 3am or so, not because I decide to, but because I can't stay awake any longer. Last night however, the novel I decided to get into was this one, and I ended up having to go to sleep at almost 7am. Yes, but not because I couldn't stay awake, but because I realized holy shit I'll be feeling horrible tomorrow (today). I was so absorbed in, and enjoying the story that my brain went into overdrive to stay awake and find what happens in the next chapter. Anyways, I should probably actually describe the story itself now. I think it's a wonderful world that the author has created. Others have mentioned in their reviews that the story took a dark turn, and yea that's true but I get the feeling (and am praying fervently) that the story won't just be all downhill. As of chapter 30 at least I think things are getting a little better. Also, the grammar and stuff is great! At no point did I feel that the dialogue was awkward which I am so thankful for. A lot of novels I've been reading tend to prevent me from fully diving into the story because of weird word choices etc. Anyways, just give it a read!

Habeas__Corpus
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I really like this one so far. Read it all in a single day and I am hooked. Story is excellent. The prologue was a little cliche, using the emotionless supersoldier trope, but it's not poorly written and then serves as great foundation for the juxtaposition of Kronos/Kaladin's mind and his world. The plot after the prologue is pretty great with many unexpected twists and turns, but not unexpected like the author's just pulling things out of their behind.

Now I am emotionally invested, which is cool because most web fiction I read doesn't do that for me. Some characters could use some more spotlight, like the dwarf kid, but there's still a ways to go and plenty of time for development. The grammar is near perfect, with only minor spelling errors that I almost didn't notice. I don't really know what I was supposed to put for style but I like the authors writing voice so it gets a 5.

Only criticism I have is that the story got real dark in chapter 2 and I hope that it gets resolved satisfactorily and doesn't devolve into misery porn. I've seen that happen before and it would be a shame to see it happen again.

Keep up the good work Mr. Ranger

Sir_Bo_Duke209
Overall

This is very well written it really feels like you are in the world. The main story is also fresh and makes you want to keep reading. The characters are very well developed and really feel like real people. This touches on all the emotions, who knew a death machine would steal a heart. Keep up the good work!

bobannon
Overall

Great Book. Good Characters. Real Interesting

Reviewed at: Prologue.1

Great Book, Good Characters and really interesting plot twists. It's written in the first person but very well done. The story is well developed and improves as you read on with great character development. Can see this going far and looking forward to more. It's a real page burner. Highly Recommended 

RyanRockHard
Overall

I started following this story along when RangerFrank started posting this story onto the HFY subreddit. I quickly caught up and thankfully they were posting twice a week consistently every Monday and Thursday. As I read through the chapters not only did the story get better, but so did the storytelling/writing. For those who are interested, this story starts off buck wild in the prologue but then makes a huge twist soon after, IMO for the better. It defiently gets that fantasy/scifi itch going for me. 

Vibing Dopamine
Overall

If you like elves and isekais then this is a story for you. If you hate elves (which I do), avoid it as the MC is reborn as an elf. The story seems well written, and the style is generic, but not in a bad way. [I did not read past Chapter 2, where it was confirmed he became a High Elf.]

TheEarlofBronze
Overall

The sci-fi prologue was the best bit.

Reviewed at: Ch.18- Mother Knows Best.

It feels bad to say this, but I honestly kind of wish the story had stayed sci-fi. The prologue and 'backstory' to our MC was actually fairly interesting, and while the overall writing style is unexeception, I found myself enjoying the setting and story and the varioius characters.

Then he gets Isekaied to your run-of-the-mill fantasy setting which just feels like a less-interesting Mushoku Tensei. Kinda a shame really.

If you enjoy the OP child main character trope of many Isekais then this is probably going to be right up your alley but frankly I found myself losing more and more interest as the story progressed.

AUTHOR - Please keep writing, I'd be quite interested to see other work you put out. As far as praises, my main ones would be your character interactions, I genuinely liked the chapter where MC realises he's not in a simulation and decides to actually live his life in the new world, that was excellent character development and had good emotions conveyed.

For a first novel attempt, it's decent, you've got potential!