- Traumatising content
One hundred and fifty years ago, The Witch of Despair fell into a slumber. Fires burnt like raging hellfire as kingdoms fell and mountains turned to plains, her agonized scream and cry over her betrayal resounded throughout the Isles. And her final wish, all but forgotten to the people of the Abyss.
A child born from the wish of a broken down soul enters the world, he was an innocent child who dreams of peace and love. A child who wanted nothing more than a family who would love him as he is. They say that when you stare at the Abyss, it stares back, but when one sets their gazes down at Clailip Diancia, one would find one's self unable to resist.
To resist what, you ask? To resist the urge to play with those malleable pudgy cheeks and spoil this adorable, harmless, sweetie, of a little boy.
Unfortunately, fire burns, and trees are flammable. Yet, this boy, soft as can be, bumbles his way through the Eastern Isles, trying to find a family that once was his.
"I can't believe my bad luck managed to worm its way into this world too..."
A/N: Please do understand that this is my first book and such I will be improving my writing with each chapter. I promise you I will do my best not to disappoint! Leave a comment or two so I can fix the mistakes and deliver a story that will please you!
Also like, If you're new here I suggest just reading prologue 1 and 2 then jumping to chapter six if you want to get to the action immediately. Chapters below six are more or less slice of life style and just MC doing MC things. Though for the full experience, I highly recommend reading everything!
UPDATES ATLEAST ONCE A WEEK
NO UPDATE ON WEEKENDS
IM ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE AT PROOFREADING AND SPOTTING MISTAKES PLEASE POINT THEM OUT SO I CAN FIX THEM YES AND THANK YOU <3
ON A HIATUS FOR NOW! TRYING TO IMPROVE MY WIRITNG SOMEHOW!
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Overall, a great beginning. I loved how the writer invested time in building the world slowly throughout the first two chapters. The best part was that the worldbuilding occurs alongside story progression instead of heavy expositions that serve no other purpose except giving information about the world.
There were grammatical issues and writing style issues in the first two chapters, but the world and story progression outweighs those issues, at least for me. Highly recommend this for fantasy novel fans!
Not gonna lie, I have a lot of criticisms but there's a good story buried here. Let me explain. Spoilers ahead.
Style: This story's style is hurt by two things in my opinion.
Firstly, the first-person perspective. First-person is hard to write because it can quickly devolve into a series of "I did this. Then I did that" and this story falls to that pretty quickly. From chapter 6 it switches to third person and has a higher general quality, though it switches back in Chapter 10 (this chapter is of higher quality than the other first person PoVs to be fair)
Secondly, the sparse descriptions. Not to say the story doesn't describe things, but they tend to be an adjective or two slapped onto a noun and left at that. Sometimes not even that. The entirety of chapter 4 takes place in "a clearing of flowers" with no description of either the flowers or the clearing. This is a consistent problem tbh but easily fixed with some editing.
Story: The story is the best part of this fic. There's clearly a fully built world behind the plot, so I'm assuming Hexenblume spent more time on this since her creativity shines through. The plot itself is pretty simple to follow so far, and seeing how Clailip's skill affects people in real-time is pretty fun but there are only ten chapters so I expect it to get more complex as time goes on. Though I don't think this needed to be an isekai, I'll expand on this in the character section. The only thing I'll complain about is the lack of tension, at least in the beginning. It picks up at chapter 6 when he gets kidnapped but then dissipates quickly since his kidnappers aren't immune to his aura. Though this is a common problem with isekai that give their protag an OP skill or ability, since we know he's just gonna roflstomp his way through the opponents. However I do like the reveal that there are skills that can hard counter Clailip's innocence aura, it brings the possibility of characters that he can't win against
Grammar: Grammar is fine for the most part, but names and pronouns tend to get switched around here and there, and it can be immersion breaking.
Character: This is my biggest gripe with the fic, Clailip has no personality. This would be fine if he was a normal child and developed a distinct sense of self through the course of the book, but this is an isekai and there's supposedly a grown woman inside this five year olds head. A grown woman whose original life was apparently so bad the gods felt sorry for her and gave her an Epic start in the new world (strong, loving family, limitless potential, etc). You'd think this trauma would carry through but it doesn't in the slightest. The only sign he had a previous life is his great housekeeping skills (which don't even get shown) and mental maturity for a 5 year old (he gets over his entire family being kidnapped and village getting razed to the ground pretty much immediately). Literally only that, no personal quirks or old habits or even a distinct manner of speaking from the other people. Tbh, this would be better as a normal fantasy fic, unless the author has something else planned relating to his past life, this didn't need to be an isekai.
In conclusion, while there are some glaring flaws, there's a good story underneath them and Hexenblume only gets better with each chapter. With a dedicated editor, this would be a much more enjoyable read.
Good start to an interesting story.
interested to see how this story develops, while only a few chapters have been released at this stage, so far the plot is engaging and grammatical errors are non-existent.
I recommend giving the story a read of you are into reincarnation stories.
Keep the story going! I would love to see how it turns out.
Style: This story shines stylistically, with great, precise descriptions of the actions and spells being done. This sometimes goes into fairly elaborate detail, and gives the reader a clear sense of what is going on. It is an isekai with a system, and the portrayal of the system is also quite good. It is occasionally shown second-guessing itself and trying to process the situation, which is sometimes played for laughs. It also occasionally seems to have its own sense of humour, for instance by listing the MC's titles in a way that he disapproves of.
Story: The story here is still beginning, but is portrayed quite effectively. The MC's relation to the history of this world, through his parents, is conveyed through his focus and curiosity around magic. While the story focuses on his journey, it also introduces several other characters who may play an important role.
Grammar: The language in this is mostly very good, and the grammar is solid.
Character: The MC is interesting, and the other characters will probably be fleshed out more as the story goes on. The MC gives the story an interesting flow through his curiosity about magic and his focused POV. However, there is a slight disconnect between the fairly competent and focused MC portrayed in much of the story, and the frequent characterisation of the MC as childish. This is partially intentional, but I felt like this could be clarified more.
*Trying to be a no spoiler review*
‘The Harmless Sweetie is Far From Harmless’ is an isekai with elements of LitRPG of whimsy, the first chapters delivering a sense of wonder and a look into the world that Hexenblume is creating. It is quite different in an intriguing way! One has to remember that this story is a work in progress, and some chapters have already had significant editing and reworking. Considering this, the tale is an interesting prospect to follow.
This story is an Isekai in the classic sense, but with darker tones in the opening chapter. To my surprise, elements of LitRPG are also included when explaining the main character’s capabilities. I really like the creative process going on here, with the use of elementals and magic system and the different races that are being explored.
The story itself follows the main character from their tough life in our world, through to their rebirth in the new, where things are quite different and challenging in their own right. There is a bit of experimenting in the use of POV that lends itself well to the story, despite needing to be honed a bit further, this has been pointed out by the author as being experimental. The core of the tale itself is solid, well thought out and it is an interesting read that is growing exponentially with every chapter.
Characters come across as one-sided in early chapters, and they are clearly designed to be so. The main character has a type, and once their main skill is taken into account it makes a lot of sense. The earlier chapters help to build up the reader’s understanding of the characters, before things really start to get serious. There is a lot of head-room for them to grow within the story and should prove to be a great focal point.
Grammar and structuring needs a little work, but the author is open to correction and is actively working to improve their writing and story craft, I take that as part of the process considering that English is the author’s second language. To make the jump to write in a second language and post it here is a courageous step that should be applauded. There is great use of descriptive language that rarely feels out of place and spelling is on point.
Overall, this tale is a work in progress. It has some really great underpinnings to become something wonderful. By chapter 7 the story is settling in and getting some legs under it and by chapter 9 things are really moving along in the more traditional sense. With all things considered, I think this is a great start to a promising story. Looking at where Hexenblume is now, and how the story is improving in quality with every chapter, I think that this is something to watch out for. Give it a try, and be ready for the shift in gear from Chapter 8 onwards. If you are into a mix of Isekai/LitRPG and character growth, this could be what you are looking for!
Style: The narration has an incredibly light and cutesy tone, and yet, it's willing to portray casual violence within an instance if the story demands it. It's an interesting dynamic that throws me off but might intrigue some people to see how everything eventually goes down. I like my plot a little less callous, but it adds to the stakes of the characters and helps show how dangerous the world really is if you're the wrong person and/or get put in the wrong position. There is a bit of a switch between first and third person in the beginning, so beware of that, but once you catch on it's fine.
Grammar: There's the occasional use of present tense within the story, which is more often than not told in past tense. The present tense can be weird, but i seems to be thriving off of the cutesy, "whoops I did it again," vibe. Many of these seem purposeful, however, and other than that, the story grammar is fine.
Story: I'm not a fan of child protagonists. In this case, it's an isekai, so the child is a reincarnated person from the "real world." The spirits that accompany the child are the most interesting, as the protagonist, as a child, still seems to lack a strong sense of an overarching goal...because they're a child. I'm a little worried for the spirits, but they carry the main emotional neat of the story (which is what I tend to gravitate towards). As of how much I read, I haven't seen it progress too far into the main story, but this story is still in its begging phases.
Character: Like mentioned before, the spirits seem to be the most interesting. I do feel a "Game of Thrones" vibe as f now, where characters can and will get mercilessly killed off due to the violent nature of the world/main protagonist, but the spirits are the one who questions their place in the world more often than not, and that's interesting to me. The child protagonist is a merciless child protagonist who isn't really a child but acts like a child. Make of that what you will.
Overall: Not my style, but it definitely has a strong style and tone. I think the story really kicks off around chapter 8 and makes a nice progression from there.
Overall, a good story that could just use some refinement.
The style is interesting, to say the least. Part of me likes how the author uses varied sentence lengths and different words that do not always come up in everyday conversation. However, some of the word choice can be odd at times, almost like the author plugged words into a thesaurus and just chose one that sounded good without thinking about how it worked in the sentence. There are also times that words are frequently repeated after one another, which just causes it to sound stale from time to time.
There are also times that the author accidentally lapses into first person as well as present tense. The story at large is in third person, past tense, but there are a few goof ups where the author uses “I” instead of “she” or “he”, and frequent use of present tense. This doesn’t detract severely from the story, but it was noticeable.
One other complaint I have is that there are times where the writing is borderline infodumping, which, while not a bad thing and is something I’m guilty of myself at times, drags down the writing and seems to go on and on. I appreciate the grand scope that the author has for the story, but I think some of the information given to the reader would be better sprinkled in throughout rather than just thrown at the reader all at once (for instance, going into how the MC’s family is bad at finances. It had no relevance to the story at hand and felt kind of out of place).
Some parts also tend more towards telling rather than showing. For instance, the main character has something of an internal thought stating that they still look for their parents every morning. The way it’s written is kind of passive, and I think it would be better for the reader to experience that with the character rather than just told how they felt.
One last thing I wanted to note is that a few chapters in, the POV changes from third to first person… then switches back to third a few chapters later. From what I could tell, it didn’t really seem to serve a purpose having the different POVs (especially since the difference between the third and first person was simply whether the pronouns were I/me or he/him)
An interesting story that has a somewhat slice of life feel to it (or maybe it was just me). Through the beginning chapters, there’s no real sense of where the plot is going other than the MC finding his parents once his grandparents show up. Until then? Training to prepare, and maybe some hijinks and adventures along the way. I’m not as into the progression type stories as other people are, but it definitely feels like it is succeeding on what it intends to be.
Grammar overall is acceptable. My biggest complaint is that there can be frequent run-on sentences and comma misplacements, but it's about average other than that.
Not too sure what I make of the characters yet. Not that there’s really anything bad about them that I could pick out. The three main ones we’re introduced to so far (Clailip, Lawod, and Simoy) all feel unique and individual, each with their own personality which is good.
(I wasn’t sure if this should be under story, style, or character, so I threw it here) One of the things I didn’t like is that the MC was told they wouldn’t remember their past life very clearly, but then they’re able to recall things with precise accuracy about their past life that seems too specific and exact. This wouldn’t be an issue if it hadn’t already been established that their past life would be unclear. Whether the MC remembers their past life or not doesn’t make a big difference to me as long as it’s consistent in the story.
Another note is that the MC goes through a fairly traumatic event, but then doesn’t really seem to react to it other than either A) Occasionally crying or B) Thinking about it, starting to cry, doing something else, then repeating this process for a few paragraphs. It just doesn’t feel very realistic, especially for a 5-year-old who seems to have a rather firm grasp on what exactly is going on.
Something done well in regards to character development is that the skill given to the MC at the start wasn’t overly powerful and all consuming for the narrative. While it did have an effect on some of the events, it didn’t just completely overshadow everything else, which would have been easy to do.
I've read... a lot of stories. Like a lot. And I can confidently say that this one is... different. New.
Style: First off, the writing was readable. That's all I can really say about it. There was a mix and mash of past and present tenses in some places, and there was an issue with head hopping - I'm pretty sure the head hopping was deliberate but the way it was done was confusing. I found that the dialogue was decent and the gore was the perfect balance of gritty description and careless aftermention.
Plot: As I said before, this story was different. The plot was rather intriguing as you discovered what was happening and things fell into place. I started reading at chapter 8 due to being told they prior 7 were just worldbuilding, and I felt I understood everything perfectly as if 8 was only chapter 1. The other 7 could probably be scrapped or implemented overtime in some way.
Grammar: Spelling seemed fine, at least from what I had seen. Though there were a few misplaced commas, and as I mentioned before, the issue of tense swapping.
Characters: They felt real enough, if a tad bit brutal, though I suppose that was just the reality of their world. As for Clay, he was just plain bipolar or something. Full of hatred and all the emotions you'd expect of a frightened child for a few chapters. Until he suddenly became an emotionless executioner that seemed entirely detached.
Overall, it's something rather new and interesting, although it does have things it needs to work on.
To be entirely honest, this novel has a flaw. However, I am not entirely sure where to place said flaw, whether it is style, character, or story itself. So, let's go through this review, step by step, and try to find the flaw in otherwise a decent story:
A style - Actually, I think the story is decently written, and it is easy to understand when it comes to events. Occasional switching between 3rd and 1st person narration with a chance of respective is not a big problem in itself either. It's not without the issue, even though I don't have that much problem understanding what is going on, I have a serious problem imagining how it looks like. The author almost leaves out descriptions of places and characters and follows the events alone. I don't know how anything looks like, or I don't know how anything is supposed to feel either. Hell, I don't even know what divorakk (species) even are!
Grammar - English is not my first language and I never judge any story by its grammar. 5-stars by default.
Story - It's a pretty standard Isekai, reincarnation story. The protagonist may have it fairly easy so far, but I don't think that is actually a problem in itself either. Problem is, for a story about exploring another world, it has very little description of anything. Again, I don't know what divorakk even is. I think it's a wood elf in another name, but who knows.
The story also had no tension, but not because the character is overpowered It is because nothing is really described in the way that would set the atmosphere.
Character - I think that the main character Clailip is quite a bland character, without any notable personality traits, that go mechanically through the story. Considering that this story is written in 1st person, a style that is supposed to focus on the protagonist's inner feelings, there is barely anything in there. Again, the lack of description hurts this story badly, not only I am not certain how things look like, I am not that certain how they feel like either.
As a result, I will give this story overall 5-stars as there is a story in there, and the story itself isn't bad per se but will subtract 1 star from style, story, and character due to the story's chronic non-descriptiveness.
I thought with a title like this, the main character wouldn't find too much trouble. To my delight, there are a lot of interesting events! First off, I like that the main character (Clailip) tries so hard. Even when he's first learning offensive magic (and combines the dew and gust abilities) he's trying his best--and I love that in characters, even if they're not as kick-butt as all the others. Clailip's magic seems greater than the others, but in a subtle way.
I also really liked the first appearance of the snake, and how it helped out. Definitley had me chuckling the entire time.
Oh! I also liked the frequent use of golems. They're one of my favorite fantasy creatures, and they don't get enough love. (Also loved some of the abilities, like the mist spear).
As for the grammar--there is a frequent misuse of present tense and past tense throughout. This could easily be fixed with an editor or proofreader, though. While it did distract me at a couple points in the story, I could march through and still have fun. If you enjoy sweet characters, and scenes that will have you guessing what happens next, I definitely recommend this.